PODCAST

That"s Absurd Please Elaborate

Trace Elements Media

Seriously researched answers to absolutely ridiculous questions. New episodes every week.

science

All Episodes

01:12:01

Which Came Last: the Tortoise or the Onion Unraveling...

That"s Absurd Please Elaborate ·

2026/01/22

Anyone who’s ever had to educate a talking donkey would know, onions have layers (just like ogres). But, just like in the story with the giant, green, scottish (?) ogre — it’s important to remember the lessons behind the fables! Like the tortoise and the hare, which reminds us that even if the tortoise doesn’t win the race, it’ll outlive a rabbit by several decades. Take that RABBIT.QUESTIONS Julian: "At what distance race would a tortoise actually be likely to beat a hare?" from Patreon poll

01:29:31

Papyrus is Temporary but a Body on Pluto is Forever |...

That"s Absurd Please Elaborate ·

2026/01/15

This week Julian takes a pleasant trip down to his local Egyptian library and tries to save it from burning to the ground and dramatically altering the course of history. And returning guest host Ralph Crewe explores the solar system in the most macabre way possible!QUESTIONS Julian: "If the library of Alexandria was never destroyed, how technologically advanced would we actually be today?" - Finjan Ralph: "What would happen to a dead human body on each planet in the solar system" - Chelsea Do

01:12:45

Lasagna Batteries? Aww Heli(copter) Yeah!

That"s Absurd Please Elaborate ·

2026/01/08

It’s our first episode of the new year! Welcome to 2026! In this, wild episode Trace (recording from his parent’s sun room) explores the chemistry and power of the lasagna battery. Then, Julian flies off the handle about helicopters as a gift for himself for his birthday (Happy Birthday, Julian! 🎂)QUESTIONS Julian: "Can a helicopter fly upside down? AND could it land SAFELY upside down on it's rotors?" from Gailmarie Trace: "How many lasagna batteries does it take to power a toaster oven?" from

01:50:43

This'll be weird… Happy Holidays from TAPE!

That"s Absurd Please Elaborate ·

2025/12/25

Like Boromir said, "It is a gift! Let us use it against them!" The internet has been taken over by #lofi girls, so we commissioned an artist to turn Julian and Trace into our own #lofigirl for the holidays! (Is it a lofi girl? are we lofi guys? We're honestly not sure. Either way, we did it!!)We love you all! Thanks for making 2025 such an amazing year (for our little community) even though it was generally a terrible year for gestures broadly. Hope this can being a little light to your holiday

02:06:41

Red Sky at Night Batman’s Delight! | feat. Yasmin...

That"s Absurd Please Elaborate ·

2025/12/18

This episode aired around Easter, prompting us to ask: where does that weird Bunny get all the eggs? And why are there eggs in the first place? Guest Yasmin Khan (The Young Turks) has an answer. Meanwhile, Julian explores the word of bat-style crime fighting on a budget and Trace explores if living on Mars would make us super aggro!

01:03:40

The Soundtrack of Eternity (Good Band Name)

That"s Absurd Please Elaborate ·

2025/12/11

If your life had a soundtrack what would it be? Up-tempo action music? Epic orchestral swells? Romantic… xylophones? Are xylophones romantic? We don’t know, we’re podcasters, not EGOT-winning music producers of screen and stage. Maybe it’s a good thing you can’t hear what’s in our heads… aside from on this show where we say everything in our heads, obviously. In this episode Trace explores what it might be like if the music in your head had a public feed. Meanwhile Julian tries to figure out what he

00:40:47

The Buffet Hates to See THIS Tardigrade Coming | LIVE...

That"s Absurd Please Elaborate ·

2025/12/04

We did another live show!! I’m not sure how we convinced the Bay Area Science Festival that we are a legitimate podcast, but, hey, people actually showed up to watch the show in-person in San Francisco. We had an extremely tight window, and are famously (infamously?) long-winded, so in this episode special guest Dr Wallace Marshall ponders the nightmare of giant tardigrades, and Trace looks into the availability of gluttony… you know, for science.If you want to have our show on the road to you —

01:15:40

Thanksgiving Rerun: Melting Witches with Inflated Heads

That"s Absurd Please Elaborate ·

2025/11/27

Happy American Turkey Consumption Day! 🦃 In honor of the national holiday we've let Kyle out of his editing dungeon and let him celebrate with his family. We're releasing a re-run this week. Enjoy!

01:25:19

Stuck in a Time Loop while ‘Doing Taxes’ | feat....

That"s Absurd Please Elaborate ·

2025/11/20

If we say: Making whoopee. Polishing the broomstick. The pickle tickle. Shagging. Enjoying Taco Tuesday. Parking the beef bus in Tuna Town. Waxing the carrot. Boinking. Glazing donuts. Going downtown. … I think you get what we mean (right?)

01:07:24

Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf? Civil Engineers

That"s Absurd Please Elaborate ·

2025/11/13

You know what's passé? Chemical rockets. Powering a space ship by harnessing the expanding gasses of a controlled explosion and shooting off to parts unknown guided only by fire, math, and spite for the force of gravity? Yawn. What if instead you got like, 40 cyclists with thighs as big as tree trunks that just won't quit, stuck them on some stationary bikes, and used them to power your spaceship like it was a sci-fi trireme from the year 30,000? WOULD THAT SOLVE ANYTHING??? Trace is going to find

01:26:03

What if humans laid eggs…? | Feat. Marco Wendt

That"s Absurd Please Elaborate ·

2025/11/06

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary, Over my quaint and curious human egg, forgotten I should stretch my leg— While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door…

01:01:36

Drunk Vampires and Malodius Mammals | Halloween Special!

That"s Absurd Please Elaborate ·

2025/10/30

In this special HALLOWEEN EPISODE ⚡️ Julian and Trace wear out Kyle’s lightning button ⚡️ and answer some SpoOOoOooOOOoky questions about ⚡️ dangerous animals ⚡️ vampires and in true Millennial fashion…⚡️ ⚡️ ⚡️ alcohol ⚡️

01:05:16

Pûre Information About Food and Poops

That"s Absurd Please Elaborate ·

2025/10/23

When can we all admit that we’re all scrolling instagram while sitting on the toilet? When will we admit that foods with more surface area are just darn tastier? And when will we admit that … well we’re still on the toilet because of constipation. Julian and Trace will cover all of this in this week’s episode.Except the instagram thing, that’s still a mystery to science because no one will admit it!! WHEN CAN WE ALL ADMIT THAT WE’RE AL—sounds of being stuffed into a truck QUESTIONS Julian:

01:09:59

When Wildlife ATTACKS

That"s Absurd Please Elaborate ·

2025/10/16

Locusts, Squirrels, and Birds OH MY! In this wild episode of the show, Julian drones on like the queen he is all about airplanes and bees. Then, Trace finds some fuzzy commandos to gnaw at infrastructure of New Jersey. Squirrel away this knowledge for a rainy day — as long as the locusts don’t attack your airplane.

01:45:02

THE 100 1/2TH ABSURDAGANZA CONTINUES

That"s Absurd Please Elaborate ·

2025/10/09

Dearest Listeners, We write from our recording studio's trenches. The air is thick and oppressive. The relentless heat tests our resolve. Our studios, once creative havens, now resemble the crannies of camels. The temperature rises each hour, and so do tempers.

01:46:21

THE 100TH EPISODE ABSURDAGANZA!

That"s Absurd Please Elaborate ·

2025/10/02

WE DID IT. WE MADE 100 PODCAST EPISODES WITHOUT MISSING AN UPLOAD (almost). To celebrate Trace and Julian decided to do it big. How big? TEN WHOLE QUESTIONS BIG. SO BIG THEY HAD TO ASK THEIR FRIEND SOPHIE SHRAND TO HELP THEM OUT BIG. BIG ENOUGH TO.... BE... LIKE... REALLY LONG... BIG. You get the idea. We pulled out all the stops for this absolute marathon of an episode because we owed it to you all. You have made making each episode such a delight with your weird thoughts, running gags, and

01:11:49

"MINIONS! Lower Mr. Bond into the Saliva Pool!"

That"s Absurd Please Elaborate ·

2025/09/25

Tired of having to do all your evil deeds yourself? Well with this one simple organism and some ethically dubious genetic engineering you too could have your very own army of immortal minions! (Intelligence and number of eyes may vary). Julian explores what you might need to make these little favorites of moms everywhere. Then Trace explores a pool of saliva.... Just going to leave it at that.QUESTIONS: Julian: "If you were to create a Despicable Me Minion what living thing would you start with?"

01:14:02

Zooming in on Nano Paintings (They're a BIG deal)

That"s Absurd Please Elaborate ·

2025/09/18

What do you get when you mix quantum mechanics, thermochemical nanolithography, and Leonardo da Vinci? The world’s smallest Mona Lisa…which you’d need a microscope, three PhDs, and possibly Ant-Man to see, but trust us—she’s smirking harder than usual. Meanwhile, Julian roleplays as Elsa to see if he can extinguish fire with nothing but an icy blast. Spoiler alert: you may be better off with a magical mystical freeze ray.

01:06:57

This Giant Moon Makes Your Bones Float

That"s Absurd Please Elaborate ·

2025/09/11

The hip bone connected to the basalt rockThe femur bone connected to the lunar maria The foot bone connected to the gravitational equilibrium of the celestial bodies! That’s the story of the bones… and… this episode? QUESTIONS Trace: "How easy would it be to break your bones if humans can fly?" from Anonymous Julian: "How big would the moon have to be to make you weightless?" from Sun Do you have an absurd question? Maybe it's a silly idea that popped into your head, a shower thought about

01:12:52

I Can Read Your Mind… You're Thinking About Tiny...

That"s Absurd Please Elaborate ·

2025/09/04

his week, Julian prunes the universe down to size: bonsai animals, bonsai humans, bonsai...uhm...did he just say bonsai HUMANS? Meanwhile, Trace tunes into the world of telepathy, where mind-reading might sound less like superpowers and more like trying to pick up a radio station with a bent coat hanger.QUESTIONS Julian: "Can you bonsai any living things other than trees or shrubs?" from Ard Trace: "How would telepathy actually work? Would it be fuzzy like those AI images? Aren’t all brains

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