PODCAST

Coffee, Cults, and Empires

An "actual" play comedic narrative RPG podcast where the players are themselves characters living in a world built in a lab.

fiction comedy fiction

All Episodes

Episode 025 - A Handful of Chocolate

Coffee, Cults, and Empires ·

2025/11/02

A Handful of Chocolate Coffee, Cults, and Empires -- Episode 025 The Intern's Boss tells us about the crimes of Hannah Smith-Jones-Miller. Don is sick, but still here. Urekas is going on a date with the Mindlord and Calumn decides it will be a great idea to tag along. Transcripts: https://www.coffeecultsandempires.com/transcripts . Podcast website: https://www.coffeecultsandempires.com . Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/coffeecultsandempires . Damian Lichtenstein as The Intern. Find him

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Episode 024 - Finally Something Useful

Coffee, Cults, and Empires ·

2025/10/19

Finally Something Useful Coffee, Cults, and Empires -- Episode 024 The Intern has learned that some previous scientist incarnated a bunch to rate various coffees in the world. Urekas hits the Second with her headboard hat... hilarity ensues. Transcripts: https://www.coffeecultsandempires.com/transcripts . Podcast website: https://www.coffeecultsandempires.com . Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/coffeecultsandempires . Damian Lichtenstein as The Intern. Find him on Instagram

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Episode 023 - Sus and Bothered

Coffee, Cults, and Empires ·

2025/10/05

Sus and Bothered Coffee, Cults, and Empires -- Episode 023 The Intern reasonably thinks that the Second is sus. Rozafeen is sick with Olhana's Touch, but hopefully learning what Hellena found with her very good roll will help her feel better. Transcripts: https://www.coffeecultsandempires.com/transcripts . Podcast website: https://www.coffeecultsandempires.com . Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/coffeecultsandempires . Damian Lichtenstein as The Intern. Find him on Instagram

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Episode 022 - Breaking and Eventually Entering

Coffee, Cults, and Empires ·

2025/09/21

Breaking and Eventually Entering Coffee, Cults, and Empires -- Episode 022 The Intern is rushed but helpfully lets us know that Vafrus's “imaginary” girlfriend isn't. The crew decides what to do with the time before Urekas's date. Transcripts: https://www.coffeecultsandempires.com/transcripts . Podcast website: https://www.coffeecultsandempires.com . Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/coffeecultsandempires . Damian Lichtenstein as The Intern. Find him on Instagram

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Episode 021 - With Birds As My Witness

Coffee, Cults, and Empires ·

2025/09/07

With Birds As My Witness Coffee, Cults, and Empires -- Episode 021 The Intern has learned about Intern-focused cults, but it couldn't have been him who inspired them. In the game, Hellena and Urekas are helping Tagak and Teep get out of town. Transcripts: https://www.coffeecultsandempires.com/transcripts . Podcast website: https://www.coffeecultsandempires.com . Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/coffeecultsandempires . Damian Lichtenstein as The Intern. Find him on Instagram

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Episode 020 - Helping

Coffee, Cults, and Empires ·

2025/08/24

Helping Coffee, Cults, and Empires -- Episode 020 No news is certainly good news when it comes to Rosie from accounting. Georg and Ruffort head over to help Beeb and Urekas and Hellena head over to help Tagak and Teep. Who will be more successful in their task? Transcripts: https://www.coffeecultsandempires.com/transcripts . Podcast website: https://www.coffeecultsandempires.com . Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/coffeecultsandempires . Damian Lichtenstein as The Intern. Find him on

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Episode 019 - Something Something Coming Home to Roost

Coffee, Cults, and Empires ·

2025/08/10

Something Something Coming Home to Roost Coffee, Cults, and Empires -- Episode 019 The Intern is back on his chronoscope... grind? The crew is still trying to figure out what they're going to do about the knock on the door. Transcripts: https://www.coffeecultsandempires.com/transcripts . Podcast website: https://www.coffeecultsandempires.com . Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/coffeecultsandempires . Damian Lichtenstein as The Intern. Find him on Instagram

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Episode 018 - Surprises

Coffee, Cults, and Empires ·

2025/07/27

Surprises Coffee, Cults, and Empires -- Episode 018 Harmony has a surprise for everyone that the Intern is excited about, and then Urekas has a surprise, too! Transcripts: https://www.coffeecultsandempires.com/transcripts . Podcast website: https://www.coffeecultsandempires.com . Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/coffeecultsandempires . Damian Lichtenstein as The Intern. Find him on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/thatdamlich or check out his drag king account

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Episode 017 - Somebody Should Check on That

Coffee, Cults, and Empires ·

2025/07/13

Somebody Should Check on That Coffee, Cults, and Empires -- Episode 017 The Intern mostly just wants to talk about Harmony and Don. The crew tries to figure out what to do now that the Sorceress is probably coming for them. Transcripts: https://www.coffeecultsandempires.com/transcripts . Podcast website: https://www.coffeecultsandempires.com . Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/coffeecultsandempires . Damian Lichtenstein as The Intern. Find him on Instagram

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Episode 016 - Pancakes at Night

Coffee, Cults, and Empires ·

2025/06/29

Pancakes at Night Coffee, Cults, and Empires -- Episode 016 The Boss is concerned about how the party treats Beeb. Despite Beeb not even being in the episode, the party still manages to treat Beeb poorly. A well-kept secret from Harmony and Don's past is revealed. Transcripts: https://www.coffeecultsandempires.com/transcripts . Podcast website: https://www.coffeecultsandempires.com . Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/coffeecultsandempires . Damian Lichtenstein as The Intern. Find him on

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Episode 015 - Rocks, Camels, and Levels

Coffee, Cults, and Empires ·

2025/06/15

Rocks, Camels, and Levels Coffee, Cults, and Empires -- Episode 015 The Intern explains how they're not quite playing the D&D we know. While traveling back to the Great Hall through the desert, the crew levels up. Transcripts: https://www.coffeecultsandempires.com/transcripts . Podcast website: https://www.coffeecultsandempires.com . Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/coffeecultsandempires . Damian Lichtenstein as The Intern. Find him on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/thatdamlich or

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Episode 014 - Leaving the Frame

Coffee, Cults, and Empires ·

2025/06/01

Leaving the Frame Coffee, Cults, and Empires -- Episode 014 The group got together at Don's in Klaoil and the Intern is feeling a bit of FOMO about it. In the game, the crew makes a turn to full robbery. Transcripts: https://www.coffeecultsandempires.com/transcripts . Podcast website: https://www.coffeecultsandempires.com . Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/coffeecultsandempires . Damian Lichtenstein as The Intern. Find him on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/thatdamlich or check out his

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Episode 013 - In the Sorceress's Boudoir

Coffee, Cults, and Empires ·

2025/05/18

In the Sorceress's Boudoir Coffee, Cults, and Empires -- Episode 013 The Intern gets to use the chronoscope and uses it to investigate hot rocks. Harmony and Don invite everyone to Klaoil. The crew investigates the Sorceress's bedroom, starting with the weird door. Transcripts: https://www.coffeecultsandempires.com/transcripts . Podcast website: https://www.coffeecultsandempires.com . Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/coffeecultsandempires . Damian Lichtenstein as The Intern. Find him on

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Episode 012 - Loot!

Coffee, Cults, and Empires ·

2025/05/04

The Intern's Boss has left... a voicemail? Having defeated the Sorceress, the crew "investigates" the tower. Transcripts: https://www.coffeecultsandempires.com/transcripts . Podcast website: https://www.coffeecultsandempires.com . Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/coffeecultsandempires . Damian Lichtenstein as The Intern. Find him on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/thatdamlich or check out his drag king account https://www.instagram.com/Woody.Banter . Chelsea Burns as Harmony as

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Episode 011 - Suggestive

Coffee, Cults, and Empires ·

2025/04/20

Coffee, Cults, and Empires -- Episode 011 Reminder that we're publishing every other week, now. The Intern experiments with a different genre of intro. Urekas has been Suggested away from the brewing battle by the Sorceress! Transcripts: https://www.coffeecultsandempires.com/transcripts . Podcast website: https://www.coffeecultsandempires.com . Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/coffeecultsandempires . Damian Lichtenstein as The Intern. Find him on Instagram

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Episode 010 - At The Sorceress's Table

Coffee, Cults, and Empires ·

2025/04/06

At The Sorceress's Table Coffee, Cults, and Empires -- Episode 010 Reminder that we're publishing fortnightly, now. Next episode will be released Sunday April 20th, 2025. The Intern talks about cool tech from world 62C. Harmony has a bath, Vafrus does some magic, and Rozafeen can't log on. The crew has joined the Sorceress at her magic table, certainly everything will be fine. Transcripts: https://www.coffeecultsandempires.com/transcripts . Podcast website: https://www.coffeecultsandempires.com

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Episode 009 - Piles of Rocks, Small, Medium, and Large

Coffee, Cults, and Empires ·

2025/03/30

Piles of Rocks, Small, Medium, and Large Coffee, Cults, and Empires - Episode 009 We'll be releasing every other week starting soon. After this episode, we'll have episode 10 next week (Sunday April 6th, 2025), then we'll skip a week and be back with episode 11 on April 20th, 2025. The Intern has heard rumors that "Rosie from accounting" is to blame for the world possibly getting cancelled. It's Beantern Day in the world! Unrelatedly, Tanam has a second glaze just for showing maps, like of what the

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Episode 008 - Lizard Country

Coffee, Cults, and Empires ·

2025/03/23

Lizard Country Coffee, Cults, and Empires -- Episode 008 The Intern has been doing research on the historical Urekas. Vafrus totally has a very real girlfriend. In the game, the crew deals with some lizards. Transcripts: https://www.coffeecultsandempires.com/transcripts Podcast website: https://www.coffeecultsandempires.com Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/coffeecultsandempires Damian Lichtenstein as The Intern. Find him on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/thatdamlich or check out his

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Episode 007 - Don't Think of Anything Incriminating

Coffee, Cults, and Empires ·

2025/03/16

Don't Think of Anything Incriminating Coffee, Cults, and Empires -- Episode 007 What's that? Actual work for the Intern?! Also, Don is still a magic-denier, and Urekas has a date with the Mindlord. Transcripts: https://www.coffeecultsandempires.com/transcripts . Podcast website: https://www.coffeecultsandempires.com . Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/coffeecultsandempires . Damian Lichtenstein as The Intern. Find him on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/thatdamlich or check out his drag

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Episode 006 - Caught by the Mindlord

Coffee, Cults, and Empires ·

2025/03/09

Caught by the Mindlord Coffee, Cults, and Empires -- Episode 006 The Intern starts to explore why the world worships him as a god. Tanam explains his extremely funny jokes. The party, caught by the Mindlord, have some explaining to do. Transcripts: https://www.coffeecultsandempires.com/transcripts . Podcast website: https://www.coffeecultsandempires.com . Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/coffeecultsandempires . Damian Lichtenstein as The Intern. Find him on Instagram

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