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PODCAST

Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast

Are you ready to Talk To Me? Join Debra Fileta, a licensed professional counselor, national speaker, and bestselling author for an authentic, on-air, counseling-style show where we talk to people about how they are really doing on Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast (formerly known as Love & Relationships). Whether having a conversation with a caller from our hotline, or an on-air counseling session with a notable pastor or leader — each of these episodes is a raw, real, authentic conversation

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All Episodes

00:21:00

I Keep Getting Hurt By Friends

Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast ·

2026/03/24

What do you do when you keep hitting a wall trying to go deeper in friendship? Today, I’m joined by Nicole who is feeling hurt by the cycle of trying to go deeper with friends, but finding herself at a dead end. She’s feeling discouraged and wondering if it’s even possible to connect with people on the level that she’s desiring for friendship. I challenge her to dig deeper into some of her personal fears and triggers that might lie underneath the surface, particularly regarding rejection wounds, and

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00:23:31

Dealing with Church Trauma

Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast ·

2026/03/17

Today on the show, Kevin calls in to talk to me about dealing with church hurt and trauma. He’s a licensed counselor himself, and finds himself counseling people through church trauma issues on a regular basis. He wants to know how to best serve those who are struggling with this kind of trauma. He’s worked through his personal journey of church trauma, but as a counselor at a local church, he wants to find better tools to help those who are in the thick of it. If you find yourself walking through

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00:35:47

How Do I Feel Secure Standing Alone?

Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast ·

2026/03/10

Rachel calls in to the hotline today to Talk To Me about her struggles with feeling secure standing alone. After the loss of her husband, she realized she’d never really dealt with abandonment wounds from the past, and is having a really hard time feeling secure in her singleness. How can a person begin to develop that confidence, and even enjoy being alone? Is it wrong to have a desire for a relationship, and how do you know if your desire for connection is healthy or unhealthy? We cover this and

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00:25:21

Do I Have Friendship Triggers?

Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast ·

2026/03/03

Can friendship bring up old wounds? Today Royneka calls in to the hotline to chat about a friendship that seems to be triggering her. How can she tell if the triggers mean she should step away from this friendship, or if the triggers are revealing something in her that needs to be healed? We unpack friendship triggers, how to deal with them, and when to confront them or step away. Knowing your triggers is an important people skill, and we talk through it in this episode of Talk To Me! Dig deeper by

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00:30:46

I’m Done Being Passive

Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast ·

2026/02/24

Today I’m joined by Michelle, who has been on a journey of saying no to passivity. Being the oldest child in the family, she has had a tendency to become more accommodating than she should. This pattern has followed her into her adulthood and developed into passivity. We talk about 3 important mindset shifts that have to happen in order to see assertiveness as the best way to take care of yourself and others. In order for relationships to be healthy, they have to be balanced! Assertiveness is an

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00:26:29

How Do I Trust Again?

Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast ·

2026/02/17

We are so excited to celebrate the official launch of my new book People Skills today! People Skills offers 31 transformational social skills that will strengthen your interpersonal relationships, increase your influence, and help you create meaningful interactions. Rooted in Scripture and informed by science and psychology, this roadmap offers practical lessons on empathy, clear communication, listening, body language, conflict resolution, attachment styles, and more. As we continue this People

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00:28:58

Dealing with Wounds of Friendship Betrayal

Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast ·

2026/02/10

Will called in to Talk To Me about his journey through deep betrayal by his best friend – someone he never imagined would hurt him. How do you walk through this kind of betrayal, when you’ve been completely blindsided? Today, we talk through his story of pain and friendship betrayal, and the number one thing that helped him move into healing: forgiveness. Forgiveness is an important people skill, because it untethers you from the pain that others have caused you – so that you can be free to move

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00:49:02

No One Knew How Bad My Anxiety Was with Shawn Johnson

Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast ·

2026/02/03

In one of the most vulnerable conversations of the year, I sat down with Pastor Shawn Johnson and processed the moment that literally almost took his life -- the moment he broke mentally and emotionally. After suffering from intense and continuous panic attacks behind the scenes for many years, one day he could take it no more. Thank God he chose vulnerability in that dark and desperate moment, and reached out for help, because it was vulnerability: letting people in on his darkest moments, that

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00:44:51

I’m a Recovering People Pleaser with Judah Smith

Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast ·

2026/01/27

What do you do when your people pleasing tendencies continue to come up again and again? How do you navigate the desire to please people, but ultimately continue to strive to please God? Today, I talk to Judah Smith about his tendencies to care too much about what people think, and the self-serving, self-protecting, selfish nature behind being a person who cares too much about what people think. We unpack the idea that ultimately, the root of people-pleasing is actually selfish -- because it's the

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00:48:57

I Feel Offended by God with Alexandra Hoover

Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast ·

2026/01/20

It's hard enough to deal with feeling offended by people, but what do you do when you feel offended by God? In this on-air session with Alexandra Hoover, we talk about healthy vs. unhealthy ways to handle offense from people who hurt us deeply, and then we move into healthy ways to deal with feeling offended by God. We talk about important mindset shifts that need to happen, in order for us to be able to deal with our real and significant hurts, disappointment, and pain. How can offense bring us

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01:01:03

Giving Too Much in a Relationship with Lysa Terkeurst

Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast ·

2026/01/13

We know God's heart is for a healthy marriage, but what happens when life has other plans? Today, I sit down with Lysa Terkeurst and unpack the series of events and discoveries leading up to the letting go of her marriage. She shares what she's learned along the way about boundaries, and her tendency to do more than her fair share of work in a relationship. We get to the root of the why, and what made her susceptible to this type of relational dynamic -- and ultimately, how she found healing in

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00:49:52

I Just Want To Be Accepted with Max Lucado

Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast ·

2026/01/06

"I've always just wanted to be accepted". I think many of us can relate to that sentiment. Max Lucado certainly could. Much of his life was spent feeling "on the outside" and wanting to be accepted, which led to a series of unhealthy behaviors just to try and find acceptance. Today, he vulnerably unpacks where this belief system started in his childhood, how it led him down a very unhealthy path, and how it still creeps into his life, even though he's been walking with Jesus for so many years. This

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00:00

I Thought Boundaries Were Selfish with Bianca Olthoff

Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast ·

2025/12/30

We’re spending the last few weeks of 2025 reviewing our TOP 5 MOST DOWNLOADED episodes! Why do so many Christians struggle with boundaries? We are taught that boundaries are wrong, sinful, or selfish — and that we should always say YES and be ready to sacrifice and serve at a moment’s notice. But is this really the way of Jesus? Or could this lead us down a path of emotional burnout, codependency, and unhealthy relationships? Today, we have an on-air counseling session with my friend, Bianca

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01:08:47

Jesus Saved Me From Porn with Joshua Broome

Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast ·

2025/12/23

We talk about the struggles of life working in the adult industry, and the road that led him there for many years. Josh opens up about his absent relationship with his father, and how that impacted him in ways he didn’t even realize. We talk about the forming of identity and value, and the many things that can get in the way of believing the truth about who we are. It’s a powerful conversation about letting go of shame, and dealing with the pain of the past. If there is anything in your past that

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00:54:12

Letting Go of Self-Sufficiency with Demi Leigh Tebow

Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast ·

2025/12/16

We're spending the last few weeks of 2025 reviewing our TOP 5 MOST DOWNLOADED episodes!We often talk about letting go of the negative labels that people have put on us... but what about the positive ones? What happens when our entire identity is built on the success we achieve in this world... And then we have to lay it all down? Today on the podcast, I have an on-air counseling session with Demi Leigh Tebow, as she opens up about the struggle and depression she felt laying down the crown

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01:00:38

Childhood Wounds: On-Air Counseling Session with Matt...

Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast ·

2025/12/09

We're spending the last few weeks of 2025 reviewing our TOP 5 MOST DOWNLOADED episodes! It takes courageous people to openly and publicly talk about their journey with mental and emotional health, but these are the exact conversations that begin taking down the stigma, paving the way for us to truly get real about how we're doing as Christians. Today's session is with Matt Chandler. Pastor Matt is the senior pastor of the Village Church, and his mental health came to a head recently as he

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60:38

Childhood Wounds: On-Air Counseling Session with Matt...

Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast ·

2025/12/09

We’re spending the last few weeks of 2025 reviewing our TOP 5 MOST DOWNLOADED episodes!It takes courageous people to openly and publicly talk about their journey with mental and emotional health, but these are the exact conversations that begin taking down the stigma, paving the way for us to truly get real about how we’re doing as Christians. Today’s session is with Matt Chandler. Pastor Matt is the senior pastor of the Village Church, and his mental health came to a head recently as he

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00:53:46

Overcoming People Pleasing with Candace Cameron Bure

Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast ·

2025/12/02

We're spending the last few weeks of 2025 reviewing our TOP 5 MOST DOWNLOADED episodes! Today I am joined by Candace Cameron Bure for an on-air counseling session where we process her people-pleasing tendencies, where they come from, the work she has to do in order to fight off her people-pleasing nature, and what God has been teaching her in the process. You can also watch the full episode on YouTube. Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast Extras: The Debra Fileta Counselors Network: Book a

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53:46

Overcoming People Pleasing with Candace Cameron Bure

Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast ·

2025/12/02

We’re spending the last few weeks of 2025 reviewing our TOP 5 MOST DOWNLOADED episodes!Today I am joined by Candace Cameron Bure for an on-air counseling session where we process her people-pleasing tendencies, where they come from, the work she has to do in order to fight off her people-pleasing nature, and what God has been teaching her in the process. You can also watch the full episode on YouTube. Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast Extras: The Debra Fileta Counselors Network: Book a

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69:31

My Radical Transformation From Darkness with Cristina...

Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast ·

2025/11/25

Trigger warning: This podcast discusses themes of abuse and suicidal ideation. Please use caution in considering those listening around you, as well as your own personal triggers.Cristina Baker joins me on the podcast today to share about her radical transformation from living in a world of pleasure and pain and darkness, to radically meeting Jesus. From abuse, to neglect, to living in chaos — her life was filled with significant and serious pain and suffering even from a young age. She talked

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