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PODCAST

Emotional Physics

Rebekah Tinker and Gillian Boudreau

Join psychotherapists and best friends Gillian Boudreau and Rebekah Tinker as they map out a pathway for healthy modern romance, unpack the universal and somatic principles of human emotion, and throw some gossip and jokes in the mix. All guided by questions from listeners like you!

society & culture relationships

All Episodes

33:05

The Elusive Secure Attachment - How can we get it if...

Emotional Physics ·

2025/11/13

Today is the second to last episode of this iteration of the Emotional Physics podcast before we go on a hiatus to welcome Tink's baby! Omgeeeee! Speaking of parenting and families, we answer a poignant listener question about how and if it is possible to go on to have securely attached adult relationships when our parents did not themselves have a healthy relationship. How can we go forth not feeling doomed by our parents' mistakes? Well, listeners, it turns out that secure...

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31:14

Kink Matching - How to navigate the venn diagram of...

Emotional Physics ·

2025/10/30

Hello listeners! This is our second to last episode of the current season, before we go on baby hiatus! Hiaby? Biatus? Anyway. We answer a listener question on how to handle it when kink preferences don't seem to match up in relationships. Tink offers some very practical ideas related to cock rings and skillful and safer strangulation: https://blog.kinkly.com/what-is-erotic-asphyxiation/ Gillian brings her more vanilla energy to the table to help us all remember ...

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33:42

The Capacity To Be Alone

Emotional Physics ·

2025/10/16

This week we share a MASSIVE LIFE UPDATE for the Emotional Physics family! We also answer a listener question about tolerating alone-ness after a breakup long enough to feel its benefits, rather than leaping into whatever new connection is most accessible to us right after relationship loss. We get extra shrinky today and bring in an old psychoanalytic text on what gives humans the "capacity to be alone" (cited below). It turns out that humans are wired for connection and no...

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39:09

The Weak Hinge: Good Boy Syndrome and the related...

Emotional Physics ·

2025/10/02

In this week's episode, we answer a question on the "weak hinge" in polyamory relationships. We found ourselves passionately discussing a research study on interpersonal synchrony which drove us into the exploration of the "good boy syndrome" and all ways in which so many folks are deeply afraid of discomfort and hurting feelings. Not to spoil it all, but the conclusion is that if you are gonna be in any kind of relationship you are gonna need to learn how to disappoint and get uncomfortable....

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1:23

In many respects the opposite of an episode

Emotional Physics ·

2025/09/25

Hi friends, today is just a quick note to announce that we are moving to an every other week release schedule, so that we can keep bringing you the high quality content you deserve while also keeping up with life as it careens about for us both. We will see you next Thursday with a new episode! Send your questions to us at: https://ouremotionalphysics.com/contact Find us on instagram at https://www.instagram.com/emotionalphysicspodcast

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33:06

What Makes for Good Sex? An exploration of...

Emotional Physics ·

2025/09/18

In this week's episode, we answer a two-part listener question - for one, is sex always at the heart of things people are working through in couples therapy, and for two, if sex is so important why is there data that less of us are having it? We found our way into a discussion on the level of fear surrounding sex in a person's upbringing having a surprising impact on the amount of sex they have, thrilling data that Gen X women are actually one of the only demographics having more and be...

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35:44

Is My Partner Trying To Help Me, or Control Me? How...

Emotional Physics ·

2025/09/11

Well we found ourselves pretty fired up in this week's episode! Here we respond to a listener question on the type of partner change it's appropriate or helpful to ask for. We end up grappling pretty deeply with the conflict between the truth that romantic relationships are often the most profound cauldrons of change and growth in a human lifetime, and the equally visceral truth that TRYING to change a partner can very quickly tip into "uh-oh" territory of control and manipulation...

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39:08

What's The Deal With Couples Therapy? Or: If...

Emotional Physics ·

2025/09/04

In today's episode, Gillian and Rebekah respond to a listener question from someone feeling alarmed that they have been asked to go to couples therapy by a partner, worrying that this might be a punishment or a sign that the relationship is doomed, and wondering what to expect if they do choose to go. We share on some of our experiences in the couples therapy room both as client and as therapist over the years, and hopefully make the whole experience feel less weird, doomsday, or scary....

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36:08

"How Can I End Things Ethically After I've Acted so...

Emotional Physics ·

2025/08/28

This week Rebekah and Tink answer a listener question from someone looking for a way to end a relationship skillfully and kindly, especially after the vibe may have communicated long-term intent. We engage in some healthy debate about starting breakup conversations over text, and whether we have a responsibility to inform the person we are planning to break up of our general intent before inviting them on a hang to discuss same. We discuss the absolute pressure cooker of dating in...

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37:36

Re-Release: Cheating Part 2!

Emotional Physics ·

2025/08/21

This episode was originally released in March 2025, however Gillian basically just posted it wrong and it landed in people's feeds weird and as such it got missed by many. We are off from recording for one more week as summer chaos winds up, but we wanted to re-release this so folks can have a chance to figure out how to repair once cheating has occurred! If you haven't listened to Cheating Part 1 yet (from earlier in March 2025) you may want to start there. Fun fact: Cheati...

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32:25

Hurry Up And Be OK So I Can Be Ok! A survival-brain...

Emotional Physics ·

2025/08/14

Tink and Gilly are *back!* For now. We actually will be away once more next week because summer is nuts but THIS WEEK we discuss codependent dynamics in relationships and what to do about them. If codependency can be defined as needing the next person to be ok before we can be ok, where does it come from? What might be we be afraid of that can make it so hard to tolerate any distance or discomfort in relationships? On the way we discuss possums in the freezer and tarps...

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38:38

Micro-Breakups: On relationships that seem to end...

Emotional Physics ·

2025/07/31

In this week's episode, Tink and Gilly catch up on relationship experiences present and past. Gilly shares her love for the relational freedom anthem of 2025, Lambrini Girls' song Cuntology 101, and an accidental listening party for two that she recently hosted on a dinner date. We field a listener question on Micro-Breakups, or what we call the particular confusion and non-specific ache when relationships end a couple of months in, right when we might have started getting cozy an...

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41:12

How To Ease Into Kink: From talking about talking...

Emotional Physics ·

2025/07/24

Today's episode addresses a listener question on how to consider what kink might have to offer them, particularly after a shame-based history around sex from a strict religious upbringing. We bring in shrinky topics like staying within a "window of tolerance" (maybe a tiny bit edgy but very close to the sphere of what feels safe and familiar at first) when expanding after the constriction of a traumatic experience, while also defining some of the basics of what is often considered the r...

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38:26

All My Friends Hate It When I'm In A Relationship!...

Emotional Physics ·

2025/07/17

In this week's episode, we catch each other and you the listeners up on our travels over the last few weeks, including an exploration of the high concentration of ex-partners cluttering the grocery stores of the great state of Vermont. We also respond to a listener question about struggles to balance friendship and relationships, and skepticism or withdrawal from friends that can then occur when we get into a new relationship. Tink and Gillian analyze why they themselves have in t...

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35:12

Bonus Episode: An unsupervised early conversation on...

Emotional Physics ·

2025/07/10

We are both on vacation this week, so we took our cues from you, our listeners! Before we got our producer and started recording for real, we spent about a year meeting each week, recording our conversations like wierdos, and honing in on what we wanted the podcast to be about. One such conversation in the summer of 2024 generated some of the clips that have been most popular on our instagram account, and have caused y'all to ask us "Hey, where is the episode with this conversatio...

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40:22

Topping In The Apocalypse: Atopcalypse? Apocatop?

Emotional Physics ·

2025/07/03

This week Tink and Gillian answer a listener question on the pressure on tops (those who tend to lead, or "do" the action in sexual engagement while bottoms might tend to submit to, allow or receive the action) to perform sexually, and how to handle it in relationships when a top is simply too pooped. Or depressed. Or understandably overwhelmed. By the terrifying times. We are all living in. But especially those of us who don't fit the cookie-cutter societal expe...

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32:56

Whose Business Is This? How, when and why to share...

Emotional Physics ·

2025/06/26

This week Gillian and Tink answer a listener question about how to navigate disclosing things like mental health diagnoses, trauma histories, health information, or anything else that we might feel shame about or might give a partner pause. We discuss considerations of whose business is what based on potential impact at different stages of dating, as well as how to think about sharing what we know about the "care and feeding" of ourselves and our nervous systems, as early as we feel we ...

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39:01

Who's Doing What and What's Doing to Who? All about...

Emotional Physics ·

2025/06/19

Today's show answers a listener question specific to how monogamous coupled-up folks can best prepare for, talk about and have fun with threesomes! We discuss how common this fantasy is, and how important it is to actually start at the level of fantasy when bringing in new ideas into relationships, including some fun role-play to try before a real third person ever enters the mix. We also discuss how to set healthful and ethical expectations going into a threesome, as well as how ...

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35:31

Once You Hit Magma You Can Text Them Back: How to...

Emotional Physics ·

2025/06/12

In this episode Tink and Gillian dive into one of our favorite topics which wierdly enough is actually grief! But before you fear that this episode will be a huge downer, take heart because this episode is actually about: 1. Finding the wisdom, relief, stillness and "aha" quality of grief 2. Courageously relinquishing the idea that you need to be healed before finding new love 3. Developing a map of positive signs that you are ready to date while grieving 4. Recognizing that grief is a ...

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35:56

Lonely vs. Alone: How can we carry our seasons of...

Emotional Physics ·

2025/06/05

In this episode, Tink and Gillian answer a question from a listener who is choosing a single life right now, but is wondering how to sit wisely with loneliness when it arises. We discuss aloneness versus loneliness, and take a look at our cave person/survival brain's tendency to create the negative experience of loneliness by telling us that we must be alone due to having been rejected, punished, or otherwise left to be eaten by the wildebeests. We discuss therapy tools from modal...

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36 results

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