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PODCAST

40 Plus: Gay Men. Gay Talk.

Welcome to the only podcast exploring the messiness, awesomeness, of masculinity of being a gay man over 40. Each episode is about sparking idea, addressing challenges, and diving deep into what it looks like to be a vulnerable gay guy. We talk about the stuff us gay guys have a hard time talking about, man-to-man: masculinity, sex, careers, our bodies, parenting, sexuality, failures, success, and aging, relationships, coming out - nothing is off limits. 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk is the revamped

health & fitness sexuality

All Episodes

39:35

Future-Proof Your Gay Self: Dwight Allen O’Neal on...

40 Plus: Gay Men. Gay Talk. ·

2026/10/02

Twenty years in the beauty industry teaches you a few things about reinvention. Dwight Allen O'Neal learned them the hard way and then wrote the book. Death of the Field Team is his unflinching look at what happens when industries change and the people in them refuse to. But this conversation goes deeper than career strategy. Dwight joins Rick to talk about what it actually means to "protect your human," love yourself without apology, and build something that is authentically yours when everything

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47:49

Stop Being Fabulously Broke: David and John...

40 Plus: Gay Men. Gay Talk. ·

2026/09/25

Gay men are great at living fabulously. Retiring fabulously is a different story. David and John Auten-Schneider went from $51,000 in credit card debt to financial independence and now spend their time helping other gay men figure out why their bank account does not match the life they want. They join Rick for episode 400 to talk about the scarcity mindsets, status spending, and financial blind spots that keep LGBTQ men working longer than they have to. If you are in your 50s or 60s and have not

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38:01

John Ball: The Closet Gets A Better Outfit

40 Plus: Gay Men. Gay Talk. ·

2026/09/18

John Ball came out years ago. That was not the hard part. The hard part was the second closet he built after, the professional one, where he learned to shrink, soften, and stay palatable so nobody in the room got uncomfortable.Ball breaks down how stand-up comedy taught him that boundaries do not make people leave, they make the right people stay, and how a room-sharing standoff with his family in Spain became the moment he stopped editing himself. This kicks off Gay in the Gayborhood, a new

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18:12

25 Years In: What Love Actually Looks Like for a Gay...

40 Plus: Gay Men. Gay Talk. ·

2026/09/16

Twenty-five years ago, during the week the world changed, I met my husband.This episode is not a highlight reel. It is an honest look at what it actually takes to build a life with someone, the silence that saves you, the space you have to learn to give, the difference between reacting and responding, and why love is not something that happens to you but something you keep choosing. For gay men over 40 who wonder if lasting love is still possible, or who are already in it and need a reminder of why

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52:03

Tyler Wasson: Loneliness Is Lying To You

40 Plus: Gay Men. Gay Talk. ·

2026/09/11

Tyler Wasson spent years running from every uncomfortable silence, awkward date, and rejection, convinced escape was the only way to survive them. Then he found Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and learned the opposite: sitting still inside discomfort is what actually builds connection.Wasson explains why loneliness is not proof something is broken in you, it is a misperception you have been trained to believe. He breaks down his N.A.T.U.R.E. Formula, a nature-based approach that reframes

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55:20

Stop Reacting, Start Listening: Joshua Johnson on...

40 Plus: Gay Men. Gay Talk. ·

2026/09/04

Most gay men do not have a conflict problem. They have a conversation problem. Joshua Johnson spent 25 years in journalism learning why people cannot talk to each other, then turned it into a TED Talk. The former NPR and MSNBC anchor joins Rick to break down what actually happens inside a difficult conversation, why your internal monologue is running the show before you say a word, and why the queer community has a specific and largely unspoken problem with mentorship and validation. This is not a

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41:55

David Lauterstein: Why Fun is Not The Same As Happy

40 Plus: Gay Men. Gay Talk. ·

2026/08/28

David Lauterstein co-founded Nasty Pig, one of the most unapologetically sex-positive brands in queer history. Everyone expected his first book to be about that. Instead he wrote Sodomy Gods, a love story about meeting his husband Fred in the 1990s, because 33 years into the marriage he learned something nobody markets to gay men: fun and happiness are not the same thing.Lauterstein talks about what three decades of work, sacrifice, and adaptation actually looks like, what the AIDS crisis taught

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41:50

Frank Spinelli on Shame, Trauma, and Why Gay Men Over...

40 Plus: Gay Men. Gay Talk. ·

2026/08/21

Gay men over 40 have been running from shame their entire lives. Frank Spinelli says that is exactly the wrong move. As a physician, survivor, and author of The Shame Compass, Frank has spent decades watching gay men mistake shame for the enemy when it is actually a diagnostic tool pointing toward healing. The AIDS crisis, childhood trauma, the invisibility of aging, the pressure to perform — all of it leaves a mark.This episode is about what to do with that mark instead of burying it. Frank joins

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48:01

Dr. Myron Krys: Successful, Wanted, And Still Alone

40 Plus: Gay Men. Gay Talk. ·

2026/08/14

Dr. Myron Krys calls himself and loneliness bedfellows. He knows it from the inside, and he sees it every day in his therapy practice with gay men who look like they have it all.Krys explains why open relationships, packed calendars, and career wins do not fix isolation, and how dating apps trade real connection for fetishization and instant rejection. He also opens up about being neurodivergent in a field that rarely talks about it, and why that intersection gets ignored in therapy rooms built

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46:08

Colin Belcourt: Queer Shame, Self-Erasure, and Stop...

40 Plus: Gay Men. Gay Talk. ·

2026/08/07

Gay men are experts at editing themselves. At work. In relationships. Inside the queer community itself. Colin Belcourt wrote a book about what gets cut out and why it needs to come back. The Blue Hour Gospel is a debut work of fiction built across multiple formats, created entirely by a queer team, and rooted in the parts of queer life most storytelling refuses to touch: shame, longing, self-erasure, and the pressure to become acceptable. Colin joins Rick to talk about what it took to write it,

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53:55

Brad Ryan: 63 National Parks, One Grandmother, and...

40 Plus: Gay Men. Gay Talk. ·

2026/07/31

His father rejected him. His grandmother changed everything. Brad Ryan spent seven and a half years driving across America with his 85-year-old grandmother, visiting all 63 national parks, and quietly healing the wounds his coming out left behind. What started as an adventure became something neither of them expected: a reckoning with family, identity, and the stories gay men tell themselves about who will ever truly accept them. Brad joins Rick to talk about what happens when you stop waiting for

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39:35

Stop Negotiating Which Version of You Shows Up – Skip...

40 Plus: Gay Men. Gay Talk. ·

2026/07/24

Skip Sams spent years deciding which version of himself was allowed into which room. Corporate leader in one. Recovering addict in another. HIV positive kept quiet in most of them. Then the rollback of DEI protections and rising pressure on gay men to shrink again forced a reckoning: hiding pieces of yourself is not integrity, it is negotiation. Skip breaks down why integrating every part of his identity, instead of editing it room to room, is what actually built his leadership, and why he is

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48:16

Your Body Is Lying to You About Sex: Fran Frye Breaks...

40 Plus: Gay Men. Gay Talk. ·

2026/07/17

Something goes wrong in bed and gay men immediately blame desire, performance, or themselves. Sex educator and trauma specialist Fran Frye says they're diagnosing the wrong problem. The real issue is the nervous system — and most men have no idea it's running the show. Rick and Fran dig into the five nervous system responses that hijack sexual experiences, why porn is an idea not a manual, and how shame quietly replaces honest communication for gay men over 40. This is not a conversation about

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57:35

The Quiet Parts Out Loud: Huck Smith on Gay Dating,...

40 Plus: Gay Men. Gay Talk. ·

2026/07/10

Gay bars are dying. Dating apps are killing real connection. And gay men over 40 are carrying stories they have never let themselves tell out loud. Huck Smith started posting honest essays online because he could not find anyone else saying the quiet parts. Then his first book hit number one on Amazon the day after it released. Boys, Bars, and Becoming is a collection of personal essays about identity, relationships, and the gap between who gay men are and who they perform being. Huck joins Rick to

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48:46

Stop Swiping, Start Connecting: Court Vox on...

40 Plus: Gay Men. Gay Talk. ·

2026/07/03

Gay men over 40 know how to find sex. What most of them have never been taught is how to find connection. Court Vox is a certified sex and intimacy coach, founder of The Bodyvox, and one of the sharpest voices working with GBTQ men on what actually gets in the way of real intimacy. He joins Rick to talk about choice fatigue on dating apps, the ruptures that quietly kill relationships before they start, and why so much of what gay men call attraction is really just unexamined shame running the show

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52:44

The Warning Signs Are Here: Dr. Nas Mohamed on LGBTQ...

40 Plus: Gay Men. Gay Talk. ·

2026/06/26

Dr. Nas Mohamed grew up in Qatar where homosexuality is criminalized, arranged marriages were expected, and silence was the only safe option. He chose medical school over a lie, built a life on his own terms, and became the first publicly out individual from Qatar. Now he is watching the United States move in a direction he recognizes. This episode is not a history lesson about somewhere else. It is a warning from someone who has seen how this goes. Dr. Nas joins Rick to talk about authoritarian

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45:10

Steven C. Law Spent 45 Years Loving the Same Man....

40 Plus: Gay Men. Gay Talk. ·

2026/06/19

Most gay men were never shown what lasting love actually looks like. Steven C. Law lived it for 45 years and then wrote a book to make sure nobody forgets what it cost to love freely before the world made room for it. "The Story of Bob" traces the life of gay rights activist Reverend Bob Wood, a man who spent decades hiding his relationship out of fear, denying himself the simplest moments of connection. Steven and Rick get honest about what it means to be celebrated rather than tolerated, why gay

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42:16

Katherine Wela Bogen on What Gay Men Get Wrong About...

40 Plus: Gay Men. Gay Talk. ·

2026/06/12

Gay men know what it cost to come out. Bisexual people paid that same price and then got rejected by the community that was supposed to finally understand. Katherine Wela Bogen is a doctoral candidate in clinical psychology, scholar-activist with 600K followers, and author of the debut novel Queering Him. She and Rick get into the real conversation gay and bisexual men keep not having: where the experiences genuinely overlap, where they do not, and why assuming you already understand bisexuality

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48:13

He Was HIV Positive and Ran Toward Ground Zero...

40 Plus: Gay Men. Gay Talk. ·

2026/06/05

On September 11, 2001, a gay man living with HIV made a decision that had nothing to do with self-preservation. He ran toward the World Trade Center and spent 24 hours in the pile. Neil Adams met Michael Dorian in New York in the early 1990s and their friendship lasted nearly 30 years. Now he has written the book Michael asked him to write. From the Pile is a debut biography that covers Michael's childhood in poverty, his HIV diagnosis at 16, his life built on compassion, and the choice he made on

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47:56

HIV Is Not Over: Andrew Spieldenner and Alex Garner...

40 Plus: Gay Men. Gay Talk. ·

2026/05/29

You lived through it. You lost people. And somewhere along the way you decided HIV was somebody else's problem now. It is not. Andrew Spieldenner and Alex Garner from MPact Global Action join Rick for a conversation that does not let the queer community off the hook. MPact works across 60 countries supporting LGBTQ-led organizations fighting HIV stigma, funding cuts, and the political forces making all of it worse. This episode covers where the stigma still lives, why gay men over 50 are among the

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