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PODCAST

Not Defined By Motherhood, the Podcast

A grounded, honest, and empowering podcast for moms who are tired of the pressure, tired of the noise, and ready to find clarity. Host Melanie O’Reilly-Rogers helps mothers challenge expectations, reconnect with who they are, and take simple steps that create real change - because you are not defined by motherhood.

kids & family parenting

All Episodes

47:55

Not Everyone Is a Holiday Magic Maker (And That’s Okay)

Not Defined By Motherhood, the Podcast ·

2025/12/20

Send us a text The holidays aren’t exhausting because you’re doing them wrong - they’re exhausting because of the expectations stacked on you. In this episode, I’m joined by my friend Jamie for an honest, funny, and deeply validating conversation about holiday overwhelm, being the so-called “magic maker,” and why not every family is built for packed calendars, forced traditions, or Pinterest-perfect moments. We talk about: Why “traditions” can turn into pressure instead of joyHow social media...

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6:37

The Truth About New Year’s Resolutions for Moms: Why...

Not Defined By Motherhood, the Podcast ·

2025/11/27

Send us a text Every January, moms are told to reinvent themselves with “New Year, new you!”—but what if you’re not the problem? In this episode of Not Defined by Motherhood, Melanie O’Reilly-Rogers exposes the truth about New Year’s resolutions for moms: why they often fail, how unrealistic expectations set you up for burnout, and what to do instead. Learn how to set goals that actually fit your life, not someone else’s Pinterest board. Whether you’re tired of chasing impossible standa...

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7:20

How to Say No Without Explaining Yourself: A Mom’s...

Not Defined By Motherhood, the Podcast ·

2025/11/20

Send us a text If the word “no” instantly makes you feel guilty, this one’s for you. In this episode of Not Defined by Motherhood, Melanie O’Reilly-Rogers gets honest about why saying no is so hard for moms — and why you don’t owe anyone a PowerPoint presentation to justify it. We’ll dig into people-pleasing habits, decision fatigue, and how moms accidentally create more chaos by trying to keep everyone else happy. You’ll learn how to say no (to others and yourself) without spiraling into gui...

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6:20

Why Moms Secretly Hate the Holidays (and How to Fix...

Not Defined By Motherhood, the Podcast ·

2025/11/13

Send us a text You don’t actually hate the holidays — you hate being Santa, Mrs. Claus, the elf, the event planner, the cook, the maid, and the memory-maker all at once. In this episode of Not Defined by Motherhood, Melanie O’Reilly-Rogers gets real about holiday overwhelm and why so many moms secretly dread the “most wonderful time of the year.” We’ll talk about why the magic you make is already enough, how to lower your expectations without lowering the joy, and how self-awareness can help ...

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8:37

Habit Stacking for Moms: The Simple Way to Reduce...

Not Defined By Motherhood, the Podcast ·

2025/11/06

Send us a text Feeling scattered and overwhelmed? You’re not lazy—you just need better systems. In this episode of Not Defined by Motherhood, Melanie O’Reilly-Rogers breaks down habit stacking for moms—the simple, ADHD-friendly way to reduce mental load and finally get sh*t done. Learn how to use small, realistic habits that fit into your actual life (not your imaginary perfect routine). Melanie shares examples of how to stack habits around your existing routines—like morning chaos, school dr...

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4:52

You’re Not Just a Mom: How to Reclaim Your Identity...

Not Defined By Motherhood, the Podcast ·

2025/10/29

Send us a text Motherhood is a title, not your whole story. But somewhere between diaper changes, school pick-ups, and endless laundry, it’s easy to forget who you were before kids. In this episode of Not Defined By Motherhood – The Podcast, we’ll talk about why moms lose their sense of self, how to reclaim your identity without guilt, and why doing so makes you a better mom — not a selfish one. You’ll hear real stories, validating truths, and practical steps to reconnect with the parts of yo...

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5:48

Mom Guilt Is a Liar: Why You Feel It, Where It Comes...

Not Defined By Motherhood, the Podcast ·

2025/10/22

Send us a text Mom guilt whispers (or sometimes screams) that you’re not doing enough, that you’re failing your kids, that every other mom has it more together than you. But here’s the truth: mom guilt is a liar. In this episode of Not Defined By Motherhood – The Podcast, I’ll break down where mom guilt actually comes from, why it’s not your fault, and how to finally stop letting it run your life. We’ll talk about the hidden expectations that fuel guilt, the sneaky ways it shows up, and pract...

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6:27

The Mental Load of Motherhood: Why You’re Exhausted...

Not Defined By Motherhood, the Podcast ·

2025/10/15

Send us a text You wake up already tired. Not just from lack of sleep - but because your brain has been running nonstop since before your feet even hit the floor. That, my friend, is the mental load of motherhood. In this episode of Not Defined By Motherhood – The Podcast, we’re talking about the invisible labor that weighs moms down. You’ll hear real-life examples of what the mental load looks like, why no one else seems to notice it, and the cost it takes on your body, your relationships, a...

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5:41

Dopamine for Moms: How Small Joys Can Help You...

Not Defined By Motherhood, the Podcast ·

2025/10/08

Send us a text Motherhood often feels like an endless to-do list, and somewhere in the chaos, your joy gets buried. But here’s the truth: you don’t need a spa weekend or a six-month sabbatical to feel alive again. What you really need are small hits of dopamine - little moments of joy that remind you you’re still a person, not just a caretaker. In this episode of Not Defined By Motherhood – The Podcast, I’ll break down what dopamine actually is, why moms are running on empty, and how you can ...

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4:41

The Myth of “Losing Yourself” in Motherhood — And How...

Not Defined By Motherhood, the Podcast ·

2025/09/29

Send us a text Tired of hearing that “losing yourself” in motherhood is inevitable? In this episode of Not Defined By Motherhood – The Podcast, Melanie shares why that narrative is so damaging, how to protect your sense of self, and practical ways to start finding yourself after motherhood - without guilt. Freebie ----> https://www.subscribepage.com/whatsreallydrainingyou Free coaching call ----> https://calendly.com/mostlyundercontrol/30min

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4:09

Good Parenting Isn’t Always Rewarded With Good Behavior

Not Defined By Motherhood, the Podcast ·

2025/09/29

Send us a text If your child’s behavior has ever made you question your parenting, you’re not alone. In this episode of Not Defined By Motherhood – The Podcast, Melanie breaks down why “good parenting” doesn’t always mean calm, compliant kids — and why that’s actually a good thing. Learn how to measure your success without using your child’s behavior as proof, and how to focus on the long game in parenting. Freebie ----> https://www.subscribepage.com/whatsreallydrainingyou Free coa...

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4:47

Core Values for Moms: Your Secret Weapon Against...

Not Defined By Motherhood, the Podcast ·

2025/09/25

Send us a text If you feel pulled in a million directions, you might be making decisions without your compass — your core values. In this episode of Not Defined By Motherhood – The Podcast, Melanie explains how identifying and living by your core values can cut overwhelm, simplify decisions, and help you feel more like yourself again. Freebie ----> https://www.subscribepage.com/whatsreallydrainingyou Schedule a free call ----> https://calendly.com/mostlyundercontrol/30min

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5:01

Why You Feel Overwhelmed All the Time (and How to...

Not Defined By Motherhood, the Podcast ·

2025/09/23

Send us a text If you feel like you’re drowning in motherhood no matter how much you do, you’re not alone. In this episode of Not Defined By Motherhood – The Podcast, Melanie breaks down the four hidden causes of mom overwhelm, the role your core values play in how you feel, and how to finally pinpoint the real reason you’re burned out—so you can fix it at the source. Freebie ---> https://www.subscribepage.com/whatsreallydrainingyou Free coaching call ---> https://calendly.com/m...

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4:35

Expectation Detox: How Unrealistic Expectations in...

Not Defined By Motherhood, the Podcast ·

2025/09/18

Send us a text Feeling burned out as a mom? You’re probably carrying way more than just your kids. In this episode of Not Defined By Motherhood – The Podcast, Melanie walks you through the hidden expectations moms are handed—and how they fuel burnout, guilt, and overwhelm. Learn how to spot the “shoulds,” release the rules that don’t serve you, and reset your standards in a way that actually works for your real life. Freebie -----> https://www.subscribepage.com/whatsreallydrainingyou...

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4:13

Self-Care Isn’t a Damn Shower: What Real Self-Nurture...

Not Defined By Motherhood, the Podcast ·

2025/09/18

Send us a text Tired of being told that taking a shower counts as self-care? Same. In this episode of Not Defined By Motherhood – The Podcast, Melanie redefines what self-care for moms should actually look like — without guilt, fluff, or spa-day pressure. Learn what real, realistic self-nurture feels like, why it matters, and how to make space for it in the middle of chaotic mom life. Freebie download ----> https://www.subscribepage.com/whatsreallydrainingyou Schedule a free 30 min...

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4:35

Mom Guilt and the Thoughts You’re Afraid to Say Out Loud

Not Defined By Motherhood, the Podcast ·

2025/09/10

Send us a text Struggling with mom guilt over thoughts you’d never say out loud? You’re not alone. In this episode of Not Defined By Motherhood – The Podcast, Melanie breaks down the truth about “bad mom” thoughts—why they happen, what they really mean, and how to let go of the shame. From “I wish I could run away” to “I miss my old life,” we’re naming the hard stuff so you can see you’re still a good mom, no matter what’s in your head. For the freebie ----> https://www.subscri...

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6:35

Am I A Bad Mom for Feeling This Way? Why Hard...

Not Defined By Motherhood, the Podcast ·

2025/09/02

Send us a text Ever felt frustrated, jealous, angry, or just desperate for a moment alone — and immediately wondered, “Am I a bad mom for feeling this way?” You’re not. In this episode of Not Defined By Motherhood – The Podcast, Melanie O’Reilly-Rogers unpacks why these feelings are normal, how outside pressure fuels mom guilt, and what really makes you a good mom (hint: it’s not your mood). You’ll learn how to sit with your emotions, stop comparing your inside to others’ highlight reels, and...

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49:50

Maternal Ambivalence: Embracing the Full Spectrum of...

Not Defined By Motherhood, the Podcast ·

2025/05/01

Send us a text In this powerful episode of The Mostly Under Control Podcast, Melanie O’Reilly-Rogers welcomes Dr. Margo Lowy, social worker, psychotherapist, and author of Maternal Ambivalence: Loving Moments and Bitter Truths. Together, they dive deep into the often-untouched territory of maternal ambivalence—the complex reality that motherhood is filled with both light and dark emotions. Dr. Lowy explains why embracing these feelings without judgment is crucial for a richer, more auth...

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10:24

Stop Staying Up Too Late: A Realistic Plan for Tired...

Not Defined By Motherhood, the Podcast ·

2025/04/24

Send us a text Hey, Mostlys! Are you exhausted but still up at midnight doom-scrolling for “me-time”? Welcome to the world of Revenge Bedtime Procrastination—and yeah, it’s a thing. In this episode, we’re unpacking why moms delay sleep even when they’re running on fumes, how it’s wrecking our brains and bodies, and what you can do about it without sacrificing the little joy you get after bedtime. Plus, you’ll get a super doable 2-week reset plan, complete with my ERASE method to help you stop...

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42:21

Teaching Kids About Money: Real Talk for Moms Who...

Not Defined By Motherhood, the Podcast ·

2025/04/21

Send us a text If you’ve ever frozen at the words, “Can I buy this?” or felt unsure how to teach your kids about saving, budgeting, or earning money—this one’s for you. Melanie sits down with Samantha Aycock—mom, realtor, and former CPA firm co-owner—for a no-fluff convo on raising financially smart kids without guilt, overwhelm, or Pinterest-worthy chore charts. We cover allowance rules, money mindsets, helping kids understand real-life costs (hello, Amazon habit), and how to stop p...

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