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PODCAST

The Secure Husband

M. Bruce Abbott, M.A, CPC

A Secure Husband no longer seeks validation from his wife—he stands strong in self-worth, meets his own emotional needs, and leads with confidence and clarity. I’ve been where you are, and I’m here to help you break free from old patterns, reclaim your strength, and transform your marriage from the inside out.

education self-improvement

All Episodes

16:17

It Looked Like a Failure… But It Was the First Time...

The Secure Husband ·

2025/12/10

This episode tells the story of a husband who lived for twenty years without real desire, affection, or emotional closeness from his avoidant wife.But in one couples counseling session, something changed — not in her, but in him.He spoke a boundary with calm strength.He shared his pain without collapsing.He stayed centered even when she shut down.And for the first time in his life, he refused to abandon himself.From the outside, it looked like nothing changed.But inside, everything

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10:38

You Think You’re Sharing Strength — But You’re...

The Secure Husband ·

2025/12/07

Many men start growing, improving, and rebuilding themselves — and then rush to share every win with their wife.They think they’re showing strength.But the energy behind it often feels like begging for approval.In this Secure Husband episode, we talk about the difference between living your growth and performing your growth.Women can feel the difference.Your wife can sense whether you are sharing from overflow or from emptiness.You’ll learn why anxious men overshare, why avoidant wives

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11:34

Iron Sharpens Iron - Why Men Need Other Men In Their...

The Secure Husband ·

2025/12/03

Most men feel alone, even when they are married, have kids, and stay busy.On the outside you look strong.On the inside you feel tired, unseen, and on your own.This episode of The Secure Husband is about why you need other men in your life.Not just buddies.Brothers.We talk about why isolation is so dangerous, why male connection feels different than talking to your wife, and how “iron sharpens iron” in real life. You will hear how other men help you see your blind spots, support you without

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16:45

Avoidant Wives Don’t Change Until This Happens…...

The Secure Husband ·

2025/11/29

This episode explains why avoidant wives do not change just because you try harder, love harder, or communicate harder. You will learn why anxious husbands bend, shrink, and plead for intimacy while avoidant partners pull away, protect themselves, and stay distant. We break down what actually causes avoidant wives to grow, why comfort blocks change, and why your identity—not your performance—shifts the entire dynamic.No blame. No shame. Just clarity.If this message hits home, you can book

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15:22

Repetition Compulsion: Why Wounded Partners Choose...

The Secure Husband ·

2025/11/22

This episode explains why anxious and avoidant partners often feel drawn to each other, why the early red flags felt invisible, and how brain chemistry can hide major differences during the infatuation stage. You will learn how repetition compulsion shapes attraction, how your nervous system pulls you toward familiar patterns, and how to break the cycle so you can show up as a secure man in your marriage.If this episode speaks to you, you can also sign up for a free 30-minute consultation

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13:15

Oversharing to Prove Your Growth? (Attachment Styles...

The Secure Husband ·

2025/11/19

This episode explains why anxious husbands overshare to feel seen, and why avoidant wives shut down when they feel pressure. I walk you through clear patterns, simple steps, and grounded actions that help you stop chasing approval and start leading yourself with calm strength. You will learn how to grow without performing, share without pressure, and build safety without losing yourself.Chapters / Timestamps0:00 Intro — Why oversharing feels natural for anxious men1:55 The urge to be seen

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38:03

10 Traits of Avoidant Attachment Wives (Attachment...

The Secure Husband ·

2025/11/15

This episode explains why your wife pulls away when you reach for closeness. I break down 10 clear traits of avoidant attachment and show simple ways to respond with calm, respect, and strength. You will learn how to stop chasing, reduce pressure, and build safety without losing yourself.Who This Helps:- Married men who feel invisible or shut out- Anxious or preoccupied husbands paired with avoidant wives- Men who want connection without pressure or panicWhat You’ll Learn:- Why she needs

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25:59

Anxious Attachment & Self-Worth (Attachment Styles...

The Secure Husband ·

2025/11/12

This episode explains why you look confident on the outside but still do not feel “enough” at home. I show how a hidden worth wound drives chasing, fixing, people-pleasing, and fear of conflict. You will learn simple steps to calm your body, keep your truth, and build real safety with your wife without begging for approval.What You’ll Learn:How a hidden worth story runs your marriageWhy distance feels like “I’m not enough”How over-giving and apologizing backfireWhy reassurance never

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29:28

Be Emotionally Safe For Her Without Becoming Smaller...

The Secure Husband ·

2025/11/09

You do not create safety by shrinking. You create safety by staying rooted. This episode is for anxious or preoccupied men who feel they must keep the peace at all costs. You try to fix her mood. You say you are fine when you are not. You over-apologize and over-give. You disappear to avoid conflict. This does not build trust. It builds pressure. I show you how to be calm, honest, and steady without losing yourself.What You’ll Learn:Why peacekeeping is not safetyHow “making her okay”

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32:23

Sex: The Battle of Anxious vs Avoidant Attachment...

The Secure Husband ·

2025/11/06

Sex fights often are not about sex. They are about safety. If you have anxious attachment and your wife leans avoidant, your needs and her needs clash. You reach for closeness to feel calm. She steps back to feel safe. This episode explains why that happens and what to do instead. You will learn how to bring calm, invite freedom, and rebuild desire without pressure.What You’ll Learn-Why anxious husbands use sex to feel close-Why avoidant wives shut down when they feel pressure-How “no” can

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28:00

10 Ways You Accidentally Push an Avoidant Wife...

The Secure Husband ·

2025/11/04

If you keep trying harder in your marriage and she keeps pulling away, you’re not crazy — and you’re not failing. You may just be anxious attached, and she may be avoidant attached. That means the way you try to connect may feel like pressure to her, even if your heart is in the right place.This episode breaks down 10 common things anxious husbands do that make avoidant wives shut down emotionally — even when the husband thinks he’s helping, loving, fixing, or reconnecting.This is not

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25:31

Anxious Attachment - 10 Truths (Attachment Styles...

The Secure Husband ·

2025/10/31

Do you feel anxious when your wife pulls away or goes quiet? Do you replay conversations and overanalyze every text? You’re not weak—you’re just carrying an anxious attachment style. This episode breaks down 10 clear truths about anxious attachment and how to find calm, strength, and security in love.You’ll hear real stories, simple examples, and direct steps you can use to stop chasing reassurance and start leading with peace and confidence.What You’ll LearnHow anxious attachment forms and

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24:52

When Neediness Destroys Attraction

The Secure Husband ·

2025/10/29

Do you try harder and feel her pull away? This episode explains why neediness kills attraction and how you can shift into calm, steady leadership. You will learn clear steps to stop people-pleasing, hold your frame, and rebuild trust and desire.What you’ll learn:What neediness is and how it shows upWhy pressure destroys safety and desireHow to stop giving to getHow to lead with grounded energyA simple plan to rebuild respect, connection, and attractionChapters / Timestamps:0:00 Intro: Why

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20:42

When Sex Becomes About Control, Not Connection

The Secure Husband ·

2025/10/27

Do you push for sex to feel wanted, but still feel empty after? This episode explains why sex can turn into control, not connection. You will learn how to stop chasing validation and start building real safety, trust, and closeness.What you’ll learn (clear and simple):Why chasing sex often hides a need for validationHow fear and shame turn desire into pressureWhy emotional safety creates real desireHow to stop scorekeeping and start real connectionSix steps from the Secure Husband Process

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11:38

When You Feel Retaliated Against After Couples...

The Secure Husband ·

2025/10/25

Have you ever left a couples counseling session feeling punished for being honest? Maybe you opened up, shared something vulnerable, and instead of connection — you got silence, coldness, or distance. You start thinking, “Why did I even bother saying anything?”You’re not crazy. You’re not weak. And you’re definitely not alone.In this episode of The Secure Husband Podcast, Bruce Abbott explains why vulnerability sometimes gets turned against you — and how to stay grounded, calm, and strong

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12:04

My Needs Feel Like a Burden to My Wife

The Secure Husband ·

2025/10/23

Have you ever calmly expressed your needs to your wife — only for her to be annoyed, angry, or shut down? You’re not yelling. You’re not blaming. You’re finally speaking with emotional maturity… and yet, she still treats your needs like they’re too much.In this episode of The Secure Husband Podcast, Bruce Abbott breaks down what’s really happening when even healthy communication gets rejected — and how to stay grounded in truth without collapsing into guilt or resentment.You’ll learn:✔️ Why

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11:56

How Do I Break Generational Patterns?

The Secure Husband ·

2025/10/21

Do you ever catch yourself saying something to your wife or kids and think, “ugh… that sounded just like my dad”?No matter how hard you try to be different, you keep falling into the same emotional patterns — anger, withdrawal, people-pleasing, shame, or silence. And deep down, you worry you’ll pass it all down to your kids too.In this episode of The Secure Husband Podcast, Bruce Abbott shows you how to finally break generational patterns — not by blaming your past, but by healing what’s

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11:21

How Can I Stop Overthinking Every Little Thing?

The Secure Husband ·

2025/10/19

Do you feel like your brain never stops? Like you’re constantly replaying conversations, analyzing your wife’s tone, or second-guessing everything you said? Overthinking can drain your energy, destroy your peace, and make your marriage feel heavier than it already is.In this episode of The Secure Husband Podcast, Bruce Abbott walks you through why your mind won’t shut off and how to finally calm the chaos — without needing your wife to change first. You’ll hear the story of one of his

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11:51

How Do I Stop Worrying About What Everyone Else Thinks?

The Secure Husband ·

2025/10/17

Do you ever feel like your whole life is a performance — constantly trying to please others, keep the peace, or avoid judgment? You say yes when you mean no. You hold back what you really think. You feel anxious if someone’s upset with you. Deep down, you’re tired of it — but you don’t know how to stop.In this episode of The Secure Husband Podcast, Bruce Abbott shares the story of a coaching client who spent years living for everyone else’s approval — until he realized that people-pleasing

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13:14

How Do I Know If I'm Abandoning Myself in Marriage?

The Secure Husband ·

2025/10/15

Have you ever caught yourself thinking, “I don’t even know who I am anymore”? Maybe you’re always keeping the peace, saying “it’s fine” when it’s not, or pretending your needs don’t matter. That’s not strength — that’s self-abandonment.In this episode of The Secure Husband Podcast, Bruce Abbott breaks down what it really means to lose yourself in marriage — and how to come back home to who you are. You’ll hear the story of one coaching client who realized he wasn’t angry or broken… he was

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125 results

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