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PODCAST

Smeared Mascara

Smeared Mascara Podcast

"Laugh with us, cry with us, smear your mascara with us."This podcast is hosted by longtime friends, Mandy and Brooke who have been born and bred in the San Francisco Bay Area. These ladies love themselves some pop culture and drama which probably stems from their latchkey kid beginnings. Their main news source is social media but their strong opinions always find their way into the conversation. The topics are fueled by unmedicated ADHD and the language is always spicy. So sit back and listen to

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All Episodes

73:55

Get Organized At Seafood City

Smeared Mascara ·

2025/10/29

Send us a text In this eagerly anticipated episode, you’ll hear the calming sound of raindrops in the background as Mandy and Brooke laugh through their tears. Real life is still in the crapper and there’s no Pepto in sight. The ladies discuss EMDR therapy and its benefits, but repeatedly call it by its club-kid name, EDMR. Perhaps ecstasy fueled raves were actually therapeutic environments after all. Shout outs to The Container Store and Seafood City which aren’t sponsors… yet. W...

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97:20

Hoe-springa

Smeared Mascara ·

2025/10/08

Send us a text Welcome back to the award winning pop culture podcast Smeared Mascara. This episode brings love, laughter and happily ever after because you’ve manifested this. Brooke tells us about an organization she’s joined that Garfield the Cat would be proud of, and shares her ongoing admiration of Caleb Heron. (Do YOU know the Cooper story?) Mandy gives us the 411 on a local drag show, and shares how she keeps family estrangement going strong. Now is the time to schedule 24-...

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63:09

Be Cool

Smeared Mascara ·

2025/09/30

Send us a text In this highly anticipated episode of Smeared Mascara, you’ll hear Brooke and Mandy’s opinion on all things pop culture. Is Ricky Martin still living la vida loca? How far will MomTok go in Dancing with the Stars? You’ll have to listen to find out what these beezies think. Brooke tells us the latest in high school drama, and teen bedroom design. Mandy unapologetically brags about a karaoke performance, and the lack of video footage. Take one last sip of your pumpkin...

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82:59

Butt Stuff Stays With Me

Smeared Mascara ·

2025/09/20

Send us a text New memory card, who dis?? It’s the award winning pop culture podcast, Smeared Mascara in the house! Get ready to hear about how our neck of the woods has been pawpin’ awf. Grocery store karaoke, football game drama carrying over to In n Out… Are we describing this week’s popular social media posts? Nope, this is real life, hunties. It’s high school football season in suburbia and no one knows how to act anymore. Get ready to hear some opinions on the Catfish docuseries a...

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64:31

Choppin’ It Up

Smeared Mascara ·

2025/09/14

Send us a text Welcome back, loyal listeners! The Smeared Mascara audio department is doing its best to give you the quality content you deserve. La Presidente of the Pod aka B-Rock made the executive decision to destroy our overworked storage card after this episode. Listen and you’ll understand. You’ll still hear our smart ass comments and our loud laughs through some choppy cuts. You’ll survive and be a stronger listener because of it. If you’d like to sponsor the pod, gi...

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57:00

You Smell Like Cat Piss

Smeared Mascara ·

2025/08/28

Send us a text The ladies of Smeared Mascara have once again created a pod-tastic masterpiece for your listening pleasure. Brooke recaps the Little League World Series, shitty Bay Area traffic, and haircut class woes. You may find yourself questioning thinning shears and their use. Mandy gushes over a newfound podcast, and has survived another brutal season of parenting. The Hazel Cafe TikTok drama is brought up and console tables are getting a bad rap. Also, please give us some g...

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65:05

Spread Eagle

Smeared Mascara ·

2025/08/13

Send us a text Thank you for joining Brooke and Mandy in today’s very important discussion about retirement. The ladies of Smeared Mascara will guide you in making some of the most important choices that you will make in your adult life. Serious topics such as ideal home decor and poolside socialization opportunities are in today’s episode. Learn how to live your best retirement life while remaining true to your authentic hoe-self. There is a supplemental Pinterest board available to a...

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73:27

The Live Episode

Smeared Mascara ·

2025/08/04

Send us a text The ladies try something new this week by broadcasting live on TikTok. You’ll hear Brooke and Mandy professionally explain their origins story and expertly manage this new element of recording. No… so for realsies you’ll hear these babes figuring out how TikTok Live works and telling their new viewers all about Charli XCX’s wedding among other topics. Some highlights are Brooke sharing an unhinged traffic school story, and Mandy describing an encounter with a Seinfeld f...

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82:59

God Bless Me, It’s Summer

Smeared Mascara ·

2025/07/24

Send us a text Step into the Smeared Mascara Time Machine and travel to the summers of the past. This week Brooke and Mandy talk about childhood, teen, and early adult summertime. Hear how these divas survived without air conditioning and smartphones. Language is spicy as always. If you’re surprised you must be new here. Welcome! It’s time to pause the VCR and take a pod break because Smeared Mascara starts NOW. TikTok Instagram YouTube Channel

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57:38

Life is Too Short

Smeared Mascara ·

2025/07/11

Send us a text This week Brooke and Mandy describe their Too Short concert experience. The vibe was chill and the ladies were loving it. (Check out the Smeared Mascara socials for dancing, rapping, and more from the show!) The Bezos wedding is judged harshly from wardrobe choices to the guest list. Like Countess Luann sang, “Money can’t buy you class.” Luckily the people of Venice used their creativity to express their opinions on the event. Petty crafts are always welcome. All this pl...

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60:37

Mandy’s Hungry and a Single Mom

Smeared Mascara ·

2025/07/03

Send us a text The world is in shambles and you probably need to tune out from reality. Luckily Brooke and Mandy are here to help. The ladies of Smeared Mascara make fun of the political jerk-offs so you don’t have to. Relax while petty insults are thrown at RFK and his homies. KN is missing and there’s no trail of extensions to follow. This is a code Red, White & Blue. Keep listening to hear Brooke’s encounter with complaining coastal tourists, and Mandy’s medical appointment turne...

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70:36

She Ain't Got No Panties On!

Smeared Mascara ·

2025/06/26

Send us a text Welcome back to another installment of Smeared Mascara. This week Brooke and Mandy talk about the nationwide No Kings protests, grad parties, and Father’s Day. Mandy shares her support for Mikey Cyrus, and Brooke reveals her true feelings about the Dodgers. Is this now a sporty spice and political podcast? Nope, it’s still the same shit talking pop culture podcast fueled by undiagnosed ADHD. Language is filthy as always. You should probably listen in the car alone o...

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66:56

Viva la Pride

Smeared Mascara ·

2025/06/19

Send us a text This episode the ladies discuss life’s general fuckery. Topics range from protests to sphincters. Brooke introduces us to her new Dyson, and Mandy recounts her trip to SoCal. There is a brief Diddy trial update, and some major Mario Lopez hateration. So buckle up and get ready for this raunchy ride of podcast amazingness. As always, the language is foul. Plan accordingly. Rated FY for Fuck Yeah TikTok Instagram YouTube Channel

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61:49

Sports Illustrated Fashion Show

Smeared Mascara ·

2025/06/10

Send us a text Get ready to smize and work the runway with Brooke and Mandy. This week the ladies talk about the beautiful and diverse bodies of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Fashion Show, eighth grade audacity, and all things pop culture. Real-time reactions to the college softball World Series can be heard in the background which ultimately set the pace for this episode. Enjoy the return of Kiss or Miss, and hear the latest recommendations in streaming and TikToks. Yes, we are still...

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69:09

Memorial Day

Smeared Mascara ·

2025/06/01

Send us a text This episode was recorded on Memorial Day of 2025. Brooke and Mandy discuss how blessed they are to be alive during this time of equal rights and economic prosperity. <<record scratch>> Okay, jump in the DeLorean and get back to reality. The ladies discuss everything from softball supers to the latest in tv and TikTok. Of course Hulu’s Secret Lives of Mormon Wives is a topic this week. Be sure to notice the loud truck exhaust sound in this episode. One o...

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49:27

Diddy Really Done Did It

Smeared Mascara ·

2025/05/22

Send us a text We solemnly swear to judge pop culture, politics, and any other topics we see fit. Join us in the Smeared Mascara courtroom, won’t you? The Honorable Judges Brooke and Mandy are serving unsolicited opinions and lewks. Listen to the ladies recap their weekends. Brooke witnesses geriatric drama, and Mandy visits the suburban version of Chuck E. Cheese. Sporty Spice News returns, and Possessed Doll Corner premiers. Of course, the disgusting Diddy trial is discussed. Court is...

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54:32

Pope for Aaron Parnas

Smeared Mascara ·

2025/05/20

Send us a text Welcome back to Smeared Mascara, the religious and political podcast. (Insert record scratch) Just kidding! There’s mention of these taboo dinner party topics but in the way that gets you sent to hell. This week the ladies recap their Mother’s Day activities and how hashtag blessed they are. Did YOU take your kid to an anime convention over an hour away like Mandy did??? Brooke tells us about a concert she attended and how she avoided funk with a fellow attendee. We also ...

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39:09

Met Gala

Smeared Mascara ·

2025/05/13

Send us a text This week Brooke and Mandy use their finest screenshots gathered from the World Wide Web to discuss The Met Gala. Get dandy with us, won’t you? It’s also an early birthday celebration for B-Rock. Hear how she plans on spending this milestone day. Conclave Couture could make an appearance. Mandy is crushed over the conclusion of The Righteous Gemstones. Jesus take the wheel because this girl is not okay. Grab some face tape and get snatched because it’s t...

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69:15

Sh!t Talking & Sandwiches

Smeared Mascara ·

2025/05/07

Send us a text The ladies of Smeared Mascara are back and ready to talk some smack! Warning: Strong opinions are shared about sandwiches, movies, concerts, and podcasts. Clips of Katy Perry’s latest stage show are hitting socials and viewers confused. Does space travel decrease a human’s ability to perform? Our sources say maybe. TikToks showcasing Cowboy Carter concert lewks are being posted and some are creative AF. Extensions on a tshirt??? Okayyyy!! **Booty cheek c...

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57:23

New Pope. Who dis?

Smeared Mascara ·

2025/04/24

Send us a text This week’s episode of Smeared Mascara focuses on the three Cs: Coachella, Conclave and Chisme. Find out details from Mandy’s festival field correspondent, and what this reveals about Gen Z. Brooke gives us a behind the scenes story about Beauty School Fight Club. It’s as intense as that blue mascara from the 80s. Pop in those AirPods and tune out the world because Smeared Mascara is gonna teach you a few things. Warning: This episode contains spoilers to The ...

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