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PODCAST

Thot Topics

Thot Topics is a podcast with the bravery to stare into the void and ask God’s question: ”Do I look fat in these jeans?” Every week, Nick Malone and Cris Lopez slow-motion dive into music, culture, and politics, then emerge soaking wet with 100% certified accurate takes for your listening pleasure. If you’ve ever felt gaslit by gay Twitter, or by a sizing chart while online shopping, this will be the sisterhood of a lifetime.

society & culture music commentary

All Episodes

81:18

The Chic Shall Inherit the Earth!

Thot Topics ·

2025/10/25

{Rina Sawayama voice} Um, do you want to explain why you think that's funny? Seriously, we'll all wait. I'd love to hear what you think is so funny about that. No just explain the joke. Like what's so funny?IT'S A BEAUTIFUL SATURDAY TO LISTEN TO THOT TOPICS!!! Wouldn't you agree? Whatever your answer is we're coming to ratatat on those little eardrums one way or another you dirty, dirty girl! This week, the girls unpack the etymology of "TREATLER" and attempt to self-diagnose. We are medical

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67:25

One Bald Ho After Another!

Thot Topics ·

2025/10/14

Wait, PTA stands for Paul Thomas Anderson? I thought it stood for Pits Tits and Ass. A lot of things are coming together for me nowAnyway we are INDEED back again for another riveting episode of THOT TOPICS! This week, the girls stare down the barrel of their 28th birthday and ponder what that year is supposed to be all about. YAY another episode about our problematic relationship with our tight little bodies!! But then it's down to business. We watch the trailer for Rachel Sennott's zillennial

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67:32

Just Another Gay Guy Friday!

Thot Topics ·

2025/09/22

Find the moo girl! Find the moo!It may be Minoxidil Monday now, but this transmission was recorded on a beautiful Gay Guy Friday which rolled leisurely into the wee hours of Straight Guy Saturday. It's nice to look back on previous moments of pleasure and joy, ain't it? This week, the girls play a riveting round of TRUTH OR DRINK, devising the structure of the P.N.O. (Perfect Night Out), pondering their most expensive mistakes, and recounting fashion disasters of yesteryear. But not before a review

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69:19

Gyatt Burglars!

Thot Topics ·

2025/09/10

Who up bipping they burger? Who need they burger bipped?WELCOME to another beautiful, breezy, cool and calm Thot Topics Autumn. The air conditioner is off, the vibes are on, and untold cuntyliciousness lies just beyond the play button... The ideas discussed this week are so compelling and so unique that we're honestly jealous of you that you get to listen. This week, the girls discuss the evil spirit lurking inside of JORDAN FIRSTMAN, speculate on the lives of some other famous gays, and brace

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01:26:17

Willoughby Tuckahoe, I'll Always Love You!

Thot Topics ·

2025/08/20

It's! Some! It's! Some! Podcasters up in here! Welcome to my stratosphere!After a much-needed sabbatical, the girls are back to give it to you raw, fresh, hot, and ready. By the power of your patience, the world cooked up some tasty drama for us to discuss with our whole, ample chests! First, we discuss the untapped power of MONDAY NIGHTS and the trap of THIRSTY THURSDAYS. Then, we get down to business: the looming threat of THE LIFE OF A SHOWGIRL and what Taylor Swift has up her sleeve to punish

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01:08:36

Heteropussimism!

Thot Topics ·

2025/08/04

Little girl... your miniature therapy horses have arrived to wake you from your anesthesia... wake uppppp!WE ARE BEYONDDD BACK! The Thot Topics Studio is hot with the flames of literacy as we debrief on Nick finishing a draft of His Novel and other matters of girly importance. But the grind never stops in our world, sweetheart... We take our sweet ass time to discuss Sydney Sweeney's white supremacist jeans/genes, and unpack whatever's going on with the Tea app and straight people in general. Who's

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01:20:13

Bridge to Talmbouthia!

Thot Topics ·

2025/07/06

What I did, or what I do? That is the question. Whether tis nobler to know what you are talmbout, or to take arms against a sea of knowing you were hella wrong for what you did...Happy birthday America! Hold on to the feather in your cap and you betta call that thing macaroni because the real patriots have finally arrived. THIS WEEK, Nick undergoes an endurance test, zooming through a list of TikTok phenomena that Cris suspects Nick has never heard of. But that's not all: a discussion on lite beer,

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01:16:23

Thotline 9: Gay-GuyPhone Pro Max!

Thot Topics ·

2025/06/20

PARENTS BEWARE! Teens are communicating secret messages via text message through acronyms you may not be aware of. Stay informed! PTB = Pump The Beat. PBP = Period Bitch, Period. PP = Pink PantheressThank you for tuning in for a very special Pride Month Thotline! This time, we've accepted questions that made us gay (as in happy) from our cherished audience of homosexuals and women. We breach brand new territory this time: how to deal with freeloaders, how to stay sane with a work from home job, and

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01:09:58

The Year of Magical Drinking!

Thot Topics ·

2025/05/26

Ladies I gotta be honest this one was a fight to the finish line even off a couple cawktails... but we do it for YOU: the people.Where to even begin? Nothing happened to anyone on the entire planet this week so we decided to do what dreamers do best: look n word. *INWARD. Sorry, INWARD... Anyway, we pose the question that's been weighing heavy on our spirit and even heavier on our breasts: how many drinks do you consider to be a lot of drinks? What's the REAL tea when it comes to managing the party

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01:08:40

Meth Gala!

Thot Topics ·

2025/05/12

Why it gotta be Black Dandy? HA! Oh... oh, because it's called that? Because it's about black guys who like fashion? Huh... alright. Can I get you another cocktail sir?WELCOME back to the Thot Topics red carpet coverage zone sponsored by E! News. This week, we review the many special outfits at the 2025 Met Gala and uh... we've seen better! Follow along with us with the Vogue list. There's certainly more where that came from though hunny. Take a seat because this is gonna be a rough one... Follow

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01:18:50

Cousin Skeeters!

Thot Topics ·

2025/04/25

You've heard of kissing cousins... now get ready for dick-sucking cousins!No one ever said podcasting would be easy-- luckily, we are more than up to the task, even in sweltering fucking HOT 70 degree weather in our beautiful city, baby. Let's get down to business! First, we check in on the inaugural round of the THOT TOPICS MUSIC LEAGUE (Join here!), shouting out our favorites and... others.... THEN, we discuss the reveal of the debut FKA Addison Rae album. But gosh darnit, you know that's not

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56:10

ON SECOND THOT - April 14, 2025 (UNLOCKED!)

Thot Topics ·

2025/04/20

Spotify is trying to punish us for being too beautiful and talented for their platform, so join us on PATREON!For $5/month, you get TWO episodes every single freaking week, including this: ON SECOND THOT, our aftershow where we are allowed to get a lil more personal wit it. We'll keep attempting to upload to the free feed in the meantime, but guarantee xxxclusive access below... Don't wait, join the sisterhood NOW: patreon.com/thottopics

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01:08:43

Auto Gyne Nachtmusik!

Thot Topics ·

2025/04/11

Piper? How'd she get THAT name...WELCOME... 2 OUR ISLAND! Thot TOPICS Island. Pon de beach, the girls take a vacation from cognitive functioning and basic logic skills: just for you. Lotion up sisters because surf is motherfucking UP! This week, we discuss the finale of THE WHITE LOTUS-- the who, the what, the where, and most of all the WHY? Speak no evil girl... I better not hear no evil... THEN, we run out of things to talk about so we have a classic Womens' Business Seminar, covering all sorts

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01:12:40

Sgt. Poppers Lonely Hearts Club Band!

Thot Topics ·

2025/03/20

Happy birthday Irish people! Welcome to the St. Patrick's Day celebration brought to you by Thot Topics. Recorded in the moments before disaster, the girls center themselves with a vital discussion on LA MUSICA de Lady Gaga, Chappell Roan, and so much mas.But that's not all-- we uncork The Poppers Question and get to sniffin'. Do poppers deserve to be banned? Are they lowkey safe and totally fine? We do some investigative reporting at the scene of the crime: DOUBLE SCORPIO, Incorporated... Follow

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01:30:01

Gargarden of Eden!

Thot Topics ·

2025/03/11

You already know what time it is... Screamin' for me baby!! Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Try Magic Mind's brand new mental performance GUMMIES! 25% off for Thot Topics sisters at magicmind.com/NICKGM using promo code NICKGM.

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01:05:15

Chudai Stay Or Chudai Go!

Thot Topics ·

2025/02/25

Chudai give up... or chudai just keep chasin' pavements...Welcome back to the Thot Topics Center for Controlling It, where this week we'll be working hard in the lab to bring America the truth and nothing BUT the truth. Check it! This week, we answer a few of our patrons' most pressing questions, but not before we address some quandaries of our own. How do reservations work? (Reservoir?) Do any beauty products actually work? Should McDonald's go fully automatic? MANY issues are settled for

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01:19:58

Martin Luther "Kori" King Jr!

Thot Topics ·

2025/02/07

Calling all abracadivas and abracadabroids: Thot Topics School for Girls is back in session. Abra ooh na na!First of all, you dirty BITCH: we review the Grammys from head to toe and we have some constructive feedback. From BRAT to the other stuff, we go deep and dirty. THEN, little girl: we review the new Lady Gargar single ABRACADABRA and read the tea leaves for Miz Germanotta. Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Abracado it to it on

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01:13:05

The Beat Pumpers Union!

Thot Topics ·

2025/01/24

Have you paid your dues? The beat shan't be pumped until every member has paid their dues...We're back in the studio all by our lonesome, and I'm sorry to say it, but we are breaking our no-politics promise... not because we feel especially motivated but because we had no other ideas. This week, the girls discuss the second Trump inaugie, banning pride flags on government buildings, the TikTok blackout, and MORE! We can't WAIT for the peanut gallery to chime in on this bad boy... Follow the girls

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01:20:25

Thotline 8: AT&T Already Done Had Herses!

Thot Topics ·

2025/01/10

Not my best work in this episode title but I'm tired manWe're twenty-twenty-LIVE in the booth in the new year baby!! We hope your resolution wasn't to stop listening to the erotic audio stylings of Thot Topics because we're about to make it THAT much harder! This week, we take calls and emails from our precious homosexual listeners to solve mental problems that have never been addressed by the medical community at large. What should you do if a guy is afraid of touching spit? Which of us would win

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01:36:29

Interstellar Friendship Karaoke AKA The 202th Episode...

Thot Topics ·

2024/12/25

The girls set up shop at a karaoke bar to properly enjoy their top musical moments of 2024, and to celebrate 200 episodes of sisterhood and divadom.Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Recoup our yogurt soju fund on Patreon.

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207 results

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