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PODCAST

The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast

The Post-Separation Abuse PodcastHosted by Danielle BlackA direct, evidence-based podcast for people navigating all-things separation and divorce, including; post-separation abuse, family violence, parenting, property settlement and the family law system - with a relentless focus on protecting children and building a life beyond separation. Because, the advice your lawyer gives you is only the beginning. Family law tells you what the system can do. This podcast helps you understand what to seek,

kids & family parenting

All Episodes

67:56

124. When Children Resist or Refuse - Part 4: Your...

The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast ·

2026/10/03

Your barrister might be excellent. Your lawyer might know family law inside out. They may have decades of experience, strong professional judgement and a far better understanding of the legal system than you do. They still cannot see the future. In Episode 4 of the When Children Resist or Refuse series, Danielle turns the spotlight toward legal advice, professional opinion and the enormous temptation to turn uncertainty into certainty when the stakes feel impossibly high. Because there is a d...

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57:30

123. When Children Resist or Refuse - Part 3: Your...

The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast ·

2026/09/25

This series explores what a child's resistance or refusal might mean. When a child says no, our job isn't to immediately decide what the no proves. It's to understand what might be happening, notice what every adult is bringing to the interpretation, and work out how to respond without losing sight of the child. What does your nervous system have to do with a child resisting or refusing time with a parent? Quite a fucking lot, actually. In the first two episodes of this series, we've turned o...

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32:29

122. When Children Resist or Refuse - Part 2: What...

The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast ·

2026/09/18

What the fuck is a "meaningful relationship" anyway? We use phrases like meaningful relationship, substantial time, shared care, attachment and best interests so often in separated-parenting conversations that sometimes we stop asking what they actually mean. And that matters, because somewhere along the way, "children benefit from healthy relationships with both parents" can quietly become "children need equally strong relationships with both parents" - and then "more parenting time creates ...

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34:02

121. When Children Resist or Refuse - Part 1: Why...

The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast ·

2026/09/12

What does it actually mean when a child says they don't want to spend time with the other parent? In the first episode of our new series, When Children Resist or Refuse: Why don't they want to go?, Danielle Black unpacks one of the most difficult - and most misunderstood - issues in post-separation parenting: children who resist or refuse time with a parent. Because a child's refusal tells us that something is happening. It does not, by itself, tell us why. Is the child frightened? Is the par...

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56:11

120. Is 9/5 the new 50:50? Care arrangements after...

The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast ·

2026/09/04

Is nine nights/five nights becoming the new default parenting arrangement after Australia’s 2024 family law reforms? Danielle Black examines the rise of 9/5 recommendations in family reports and final outcomes, why mathematical ‘balance’ is not the same as a child-focused assessment, and what protective parents should ask when expert recommendations do not clearly connect the evidence to the proposed parenting schedule. This episode explores equal parenting time, attachment, child...

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84:31

119. Parenting without court orders: More options...

The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast ·

2026/08/26

When parenting arrangements cannot be agreed upon, many protective parents believe they have only two options: give in to what the other parent is demanding or begin family court proceedings.But those are not the only paths available.In this episode, Senior Coach Brigid Morgan shares her lived experience of navigating shared-care parenting without formal court orders in a high-conflict post-separation dynamic. She explores the certainty parents may hope court orders will provide, what orders can and

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73:01

118. The Good Girl Contract - part six (finale): What...

The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast ·

2026/08/22

This is the final episode in the six-part Good Girl Contract series: Your children are not doomed by what they have experienced (and neither are you). But what happens next matters. In this episode, Danielle speaks directly to protective mothers about the work their children actually need from them: protecting while they can, modelling healthy boundaries, accepting their children’s boundaries in return, and becoming a parent their children do not have to emotionally manage. This means confron...

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45:55

117. The Good Girl Contract - part five: The...

The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast ·

2026/08/12

This is where the lens widens. Parts 1 through 4 focused on the Contract as it operates in the woman herself - her history, her patterns, her practice of interrupting it. Today, Danielle takes on the intergenerational dimension. Because the Contract does not stay contained to a woman's inner life. It is operating in her relationships right now, in her parenting arrangements, in the decisions she is making about and for her children - and in what her children are absorbing about who women are....

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65:48

116. The Good Girl Contract - part four: Interrupting...

The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast ·

2026/08/09

Part 4 of The Good Girl Contract series. This is where the series pivots. Parts 1, 2, and 3 were diagnostic in nature - naming the Contract, walking through what happened when we took it into adult intimate relationships, and naming the mirror problem that comes from being trained not to hold our own boundaries, and not to receive other people’s. Today we talk about what interrupting the Contract actually looks like. Not in theory. Not from the other side. From inside it, using my own current...

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39:54

115. The good girl contract - part three: The mirror

The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast ·

2026/07/30

If you have been quietly noticing that you struggle to accept other people's boundaries with you - that their no’s, their unavailability, their limits land in you as evidence of your own worth rather than as data about their life - this episode is naming what that actually is. Part 3 of The Good Girl Contract starts with Danielle reflecting on a conversation from part one - the tropes in our favourite movies and novels - and then moves on to name 'the mirror problem', which is the observation...

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38:12

114. The good girl contract - part two: The moth and...

The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast ·

2026/07/23

Their woundedness was a moth to a flame to your overfunctioning. Part 2 of The Good Girl Contract walks through what happened when you took the Contract into your adult intimate relationships. Why the men who found you were not random. Why your nervous system recognised them as home. Why leaving felt so much harder than the surface story would suggest - and why so much of what has been sold to you as insight about your ex has been missing the more important insight about you...

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25:33

113. The good girl contract - part one: Where...

The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast ·

2026/07/16

When your childhood taught you that having needs was dangerous - that being pleasing, useful, and indispensable was the difference between love and its withdrawal - the reason boundaries are so hard as an adult is not that you are weak. It is that your nervous system learned exactly what it needed to learn to survive the environment you were in. Part 1 of The Good Girl Contract is the foundational episode of a new series. In this episode, Danielle speaks about childhood abuse. Physical and em...

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63:03

112. Working as intended (Postscript): Do I even need...

The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast ·

2026/07/10

If you have been listening to our Working As Intended series, and you have been quietly wondering "if lawyers were never trained in what my children need, and I have to bring all of that myself, do I even need a lawyer at all?" - this episode is the rest of the answer. Danielle opens with information that she hasn't shared on the podcast before - the fact that when she was dragged into the court system all those years ago, there was not a lot of money for lawyers. Her stepfather (the person w...

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36:13

111. Working as intended - Part 4: How to use your...

The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast ·

2026/07/02

If you've been with Danielle across this series, you now know how the family law system in Australia was built, what its practitioners were and were not trained to know, and how to test whether anyone in the post-separation space is genuinely child-focused. This final episode of Working As Intended brings the arc to ground. You still need a lawyer. You still have to work with these professionals. You can't opt out of the system entirely. So what do you actually do with everything you no...

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46:39

110. Working as intended - Part 3: The standard - How...

The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast ·

2026/06/24

"Child-focused." Two words that appear on the website of virtually every practitioner in the post-separation space. Every lawyer. Every mediator. Every divorce coach. Every family therapist. Every family report writer. The language is everywhere - and in part 3 of Working As Intended, Danielle walks you through how to tell, in thirty seconds, whether the person using those two words actually has the knowledge they're claiming. This episode widens the ...

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29:56

109. Working as intended - Part 2: What an...

The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast ·

2026/06/17

Nine hundred and fifty dollars. An online module and a one-day workshop. That's the specialist training that qualifies a family lawyer to represent your child's best interests in court - and that's the starting point for part 2 of Working As Intended. In this episode, Danielle walks through the structural reality of Independent Children's Lawyer accreditation in Australia, including the Australian Institute of Family Studies finding that there are no uniform professional development requireme...

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30:56

108. Working as intended - Part 1: What your lawyer...

The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast ·

2026/06/10

What your family lawyer was taught - and what they weren't. The first of four episodes on the architecture of the Australian family law system. Eleven mandatory areas of study to be admitted as a lawyer in Australia. Family law isn't one of them. The system isn't rigged. It isn't broken. It's working exactly as it was designed to - and the problem is what it was designed for. This is the first of a four-part series on the architecture of the Australian family law system. The syste...

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61:24

107. When 'parental alienation' is actually coercive...

The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast ·

2026/06/04

"Parental alienation" is one of the most weaponised terms in family law. In this episode, Danielle Black takes the term apart, puts something more precise in its place - and explains why the protective parents on the receiving end of those accusations are almost never the ones doing the harm. Your child loves you. They may simply not feel safe to love you. This is the reframe I want every protective parent who has watched their child pull away to carry, because it changes everything. "Parenta...

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31:42

106. Coercive control - What it is, and what it isn't

The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast ·

2026/05/27

"Coercive control" has entered the mainstream - and started to lose its precision. This episode brings it back: what coercive control actually is, what it isn't, and why the difference matters for everyone. "I felt trapped in my own life." It's a phrase I hear again and again from clients, it's how I felt all those years ago, and it captures something the technical definitions can't quite reach. In recent years, "coercive control" has moved from the margins into legislation, headl...

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27:51

105. The 5 critical mistakes that parents make in...

The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast ·

2026/05/20

The decisions you make in the early stages of separation can shape your family for years to come. And yet, most parents make critical mistakes during this most vulnerable time - often because they're following well-meaning but misguided advice from friends, family, or even professionals who don't understand child development or the realities of post-separation parenting. In this episode, Danielle walks through the five most damaging mistakes she sees parents make repeatedly in early separatio...

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126 results

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