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PODCAST

Marriage Bites! With Mike and Jess

Marriage Bites! With Mike and Jess is your go-to podcast for fast food reviews and hilarious life stories. Join this dynamic duo as they dive into the latest menu items, share wild adventures, and laugh through the ups and downs of marriage.

arts food

All Episodes

00:54:06

292: A Chicken Sandwich Divides a Marriage

Marriage Bites! With Mike and Jess ·

2026/01/04

Chick-fil-A becomes the backdrop for a long-delayed chicken sandwich debate, though the food itself quickly drifts in and out of focus.The conversation moves through drive-thru logistics, line efficiency, forgotten sauces, milkshake opinions, and the challenge of eating fast food with kids in the back seat. From there, it wanders into caffeine tolerance, staying up too late, parenting fatigue, and the rare satisfaction of eating food while it is still hot. Side topics include retail jobs,

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00:51:07

291: The Problem With Reheated Chicken

Marriage Bites! With Mike and Jess ·

2025/12/27

Email Mike delivers pod@gmail.com. With your suggestion on food, we should try again.This week on Marriage Bites, Mike and Jess argue about who is actually hosting the show, officially quit ice cream month, and return to savory food with a Chicken Bacon Ranch quesadilla from Chili’s. From there, the conversation wanders in predictable and slightly unhinged directions. They talk about aging, thinning hair, sore hips, forgotten parenting years, flossing routines, and the logistics of eating

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00:52:56

290: The Ice Cream That Broke Our Brains

Marriage Bites! With Mike and Jess ·

2025/12/23

Email Mike delivers pod@gmail.com. With your suggestion on food, we should try again. This week on Marriage Bites, Mike and Jess kick things off by arguing about who is actually the host, then head to Carvel to wrap up ice cream month with a crunchy, layered dessert that sparks way more discussion than expected. The conversation drifts into forgotten parenting phases, missing memories, and the strange realization that entire years of raising kids feel like a blur. Mike also shares a work trip

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00:49:03

289: Spotted Dick Ruins Ice Cream Month

Marriage Bites! With Mike and Jess ·

2025/12/16

In this episode of Marriage Bites, Mike and Jess kick off Ice Cream Month with a return trip to Shake Shack, a place they’ve apparently reviewed so many times it now exists in multiple timelines, languages, and at least one memory Jess does not recall having.What starts as a simple taste test of the Sticky Toffee Pudding milkshake quickly spirals into a debate about British culture, period pieces, and why Mike believes history should only be watched if cars already exist. Along the way, they

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00:48:26

288: Chewed Cookie Paste, Gingerbread Ice Cream, and...

Marriage Bites! With Mike and Jess ·

2025/12/08

In this episode of Marriage Bites, Mike and Jess take on Cold Stone Creamery, a place that once felt like a magical marble slab spectacle and now feels like a very small room where someone reluctantly smashes ice cream behind a wall of shoe box stacked mix ins. Jess braves the store with both kids while Mike stays home, silently convinced the bill will somehow be forty dollars, and he is not wrong.What follows is a surprisingly passionate exploration of gingerbread, complete with Mike’s on

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00:49:32

287: Do You Call It Gravy Or Sauce?

Marriage Bites! With Mike and Jess ·

2025/12/01

Happy Thanksgiving! No, Mike and Jess don't try any turkey or stuffing...It's time for some KFC Wedges and mystery gravy. What is this stuff? Listen as Jess talks about childhood memories and Mike scrambles for his opening question. Plus, do you call it Gravy or Sauce?

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00:43:44

286: We Accidentally Ordered the Most Unhinged...

Marriage Bites! With Mike and Jess ·

2025/11/18

In this episode of Marriage Bites, Mike and Jess set out to review Wendy’s new tendies… and immediately get derailed by Tom Brady cloning his dog, whether Leon the outdoor trash cat should be immortal, and Jess’s Lean Cuisine childhood flashbacks that honestly feel like a whole therapy session.Somewhere in the chaos, they actually review the food: overcooked but promising tendies, a baked potato that weighs roughly the size of a toddler, and a sundae that sends Mike into a memory spiral about

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00:56:52

285: Quivering in the Strip Mall with Freddy

Marriage Bites! With Mike and Jess ·

2025/11/11

In this episode of Marriage Bites, Mike and Jess set out to try Freddy’s, the burger chain that apparently has 600 locations yet feels like it only exists in this one New Jersey strip mall. Mike bravely takes the kids inside while Jess enjoys one precious, silent hour of being a human person, and what follows is a journey through mysterious kiosks, shoestring fries that somehow become emotional, and a number-calling system that briefly terrifies their son before becoming his personality.There

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00:57:37

284: Is Qdoba Even Real?

Marriage Bites! With Mike and Jess ·

2025/10/27

In this episode of Marriage Bites, Mike and Jess accidentally unlock the secret history of Qdoba, a restaurant chain that somehow still exists despite being remembered by absolutely no one. What starts as a simple “let’s try a new taco” adventure spirals into a full psychological study of burrito bowls, forgotten college-town food courts, and one employee who simply could not anymore. Along the way, they debate the correct orientation for toilet paper, rediscover their love for skee-ball,

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00:53:04

Warning: This episode contains strong language, mild...

Marriage Bites! With Mike and Jess ·

2025/10/18

In this episode of Marriage Bites, Mike and Jess go headfirst into Dave’s Hot Chicken and come out debating everything from Nashville spice levels to conjugal visit etiquette. What begins as a simple fast-food review turns into a fever dream of childhood pee stories, mouse infestations, and near-death experiences courtesy of the family Roomba. Jess unpacks her true-crime curiosity and sleep-cycle nightmares, while Mike questions the definition of a sandwich and whether “Dave’s Sauce” should

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00:51:53

282: The Coffee Mug That Almost Killed Someone!?

Marriage Bites! With Mike and Jess ·

2025/09/29

In this episode of Marriage Bites, Mike and Jess time-travel straight back to Y2K with Taco Bell’s Cool Ranch Doritos Locos Taco. What starts as a simple nostalgia bite spirals into CD vs. iPod debates, Syracuse dorm “wack-off rooms,” VHS rewinding woes, and whether lettuce belongs anywhere near a hot taco. Jess relives her Pittsburgh Steelers glory days (terrible towel tucked in her jeans), while Mike confesses to both losing a prized coffee mug in traffic and once pooping his pants rather

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00:53:01

281: Is This the Best Kids’ Meal Out There?

Marriage Bites! With Mike and Jess ·

2025/09/04

In this episode of Marriage Bites, Jess and Mike wrap up Kids’ Menu Month with the ultimate classic: chicken fingers from Texas Roadhouse. Alongside the legendary sides (yes, they’re literally called “Legendary Sides”), the conversation veers into gum price shock, binge-watching How I Met Your Mother seven minutes at a time, and the great debate over kids’ meal value vs. fast food toys. Mike relives his record-breaking ingrown hair (complete with photo evidence), while Jess reveals her past

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00:48:04

280: Why Are Sun Chips Suddenly the Sexiest Beach Snack?

Marriage Bites! With Mike and Jess ·

2025/08/07

In this episode of Marriage Bites, Jess and Mike chew through another course of Kids’ Menu Month—this time featuring Panda Express’s black pepper chicken, mystery meat textures, and suspiciously healthy greens. There’s also a mid-meal debate about drive-thru fries, the politics of toddler broccoli sharing, and why Jess would never bring fruit to the beach. Mike pitches Panda Express Month (he’s serious), while Jess dreams of 20 uninterrupted minutes with a book and zero sand. Plus: cold Diet

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00:50:12

279: Why Did Jess Put Steak in Her Underwear?

Marriage Bites! With Mike and Jess ·

2025/07/27

In this episode of Marriage Bites, Jess and Mike continue Kids’ Menu Month with a well-done dive into Outback’s Joey Sirloin—and Jess’s meat-related childhood trauma. Yes, we’re talking about the time she smuggled steak in her underwear to avoid eating it. Mike opens up about post-vasectomy ball health, curbside pickup philosophy, and misreading the word “Toyota.” The couple debates steak texture, nostalgic baked goods, and why rainbow cookies should never be dry. Also: surprise bread, broccoli

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00:49:58

278: Kids Menu Month Begins

Marriage Bites! With Mike and Jess ·

2025/07/18

In this episode of Marriage Bites, Jess and Mike officially kick off “Kids Menu Month” with a creamy, chaotic plunge into Applebee’s Chicken Alfredo. But the pasta isn’t the only thing under review. Mike finally shares what it’s like post-vasectomy (yes, ball talk is back), while Jess explores her complicated relationship with dairy-based sauces. The couple debates the psychology of kids menus, dissects mozzarella stick texture with alarming precision, and finds emotional release in unexpected

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00:47:57

277: Spicy Sandwiches and Surgical Decisions

Marriage Bites! With Mike and Jess ·

2025/07/13

Happy anniversary to us! In this episode of Marriage Bites, we celebrate 13 years of wedded bliss the only way we know how: with a spicy chicken sandwich from Wendy’s, way too many bathing suits, and one pending vasectomy. Jess and Mike catch up on a summer full of chaos, nostalgia, and carbs—including a surprisingly heartfelt drive-thru encounter, snack obsessions, and the ever-evolving saga of parenting two growing kids. Also: why fast food collabs are designed to go viral (not be good), how

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00:51:34

276: Icky, Sticky, Gooey

Marriage Bites! With Mike and Jess ·

2025/05/28

In this sugar-fueled episode of Marriage Bites, Mike and Jess dive tongue-first into Burger King’s Nerds Slushie—an effervescent sugar bomb that sparks a nostalgic (and borderline erotic) candy confessional. From awkward childhood slushy memories to grocery store gummy debates, the couple compares sweets like they’re judging Olympic gymnastics. There’s also a deep dive into nerd consumption techniques (tongue-in-the-box or hand-pour?), questionable video store backrooms, and the mystery of

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00:44:31

275: The Kids Ask About Sex and Bacon

Marriage Bites! With Mike and Jess ·

2025/05/18

In this episode of Marriage Bites, Mike and Jess attempt to review McDonald’s new McCrispy Chicken Strips—but get wildly sidetracked thanks to their kids' unfiltered curiosity. From anatomy questions to late-night bacon cravings, nothing is off-limits in this chaotic, hilarious recap of birthday weekends, Mother’s Day, and parenting in the age of cake pops. They also break down why McDonald’s is banking on tenders to turn around a rough financial quarter—and whether the creamy chili sauce is

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00:45:08

Ep 274: Is Panera Bread Back?

Marriage Bites! With Mike and Jess ·

2025/05/08

On this episode of Marriage Bites with Mike and Jess, the couple hits the Panera Bread drive-thru to taste test the Croque Monsieur sandwich featuring Black Forest ham, melty provolone, and a rich caramelized onion spread on croissant toast. Hilarity ensues as Jess gets the giggles during the order, and the duo reflects on their long history with chain restaurant fare, including a nostalgic blast from the past: Subway’s Spicy Italian. Beyond food, Mike and Jess chat about parenting, managing

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00:38:39

273: Did Jess Spit Out The Wings From Popeyes?

Marriage Bites! With Mike and Jess ·

2025/04/17

This is one of those episodes! Jess may have found her worst meal on the podcast and Mike is ready for more! Plus, they take a trip down memory lane looking back at some of the great foods they have tried over the years

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