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PODCAST

Savage Lovecast

Dan Savage, America"s only advice columnist, answers your sex and relationship questions and yaps about politics. To record a question for Dan to be answered in a later podcast, record your question and send it to Q@Savage.Love, or call 206-302-2064. For a much longer version of the show, with no ads, visit savage.love and get yourself a subscription.

health & fitness sexuality

All Episodes

54:16

Savage Lovecast Episode 986

Savage Lovecast ·

2025/09/23

Enter to win a free Magnum subscription at savage.love/surveyA gay man is lucky to be in a throuple relationship. But he worries that he's having too much sex, and thinking about sex so much that it's distracting him at work. Is he a sex addict? What can he do to cool his fevered libido? A strong, confident woman likes casual hook-ups. Her friends joke that she is "a boy on the inside." Her (and our) question is: What is wrong with these people??!! How can she get them to stop, and consider

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51:01

Savage Lovecast Episode 985

Savage Lovecast ·

2025/09/16

A man in a poly triad has a girlfriend. His girlfriend has a boyfriend, and they all live together, share a dog, and plan to have kids. The caller and the other guy will be at a wedding full of normies who don't know the nature of their relationship. Should he just say they're a gay couple? Or explain the whole poly thing? He can't eat gluten. His boyfriend eats a lot of gluten. Can he eat his boyfriend's come? On the Magnum, we are delighted to welcome back Gianmarco Soresi to the show. The

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56:10

Savage Lovecast Episode 984

Savage Lovecast ·

2025/09/09

A married mother did some sex work in her younger, wilder days. She's turned on by money, so it seems obvious that she should be a findom. But the typical clientele prefer a younger woman to take their money. How can she get her middle-aged kink on? Meanwhile, a gay man thinks porn is boooor-rrinnng! It's unrealistic, predictable and repetitive. Is there anything good out there? Sometimes you get questions that can only be answered by a porn star. Fortunately, Dan knows some! We are delighted to

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51:40

Savage Lovecast Episode 983

Savage Lovecast ·

2025/09/02

A man's 80 year-old father is getting scammed and extorted by a findom. Should he go to the police? Change his account numbers? See a marriage counselor? A gay man in his 20s looks very young. He worries that the men who are attracted to him may be skeezy because he looks more like a boy than a man. His friends tell him to work it. But how can he safely enjoy New York City's gay dating scene? On the Magnum, a concerned mom wonders how to steer her teenaged kids toward ethical porn. We couldn't

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56:41

Savage Lovecast Episode 982

Savage Lovecast ·

2025/08/26

A woman's old friend and sometime lover asked her for a beaver shot to ease his stress on an upcoming couples trip. She obliged. Did he thank her? No he did not. She's miffed, and wonders if she's being too sensitive. We love questions like this: What do gay men actually do with vibrators? Our guest is the indomitable E. Jean Carroll. She is a journalist and the author of five books, including a biography of Hunter S. Thompson, and The New York Times bestselling book NOT MY TYPE: One Woman vs. a

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51:16

Savage Lovecast Episode 981

Savage Lovecast ·

2025/08/19

A cute li'l gal worries she just isn't a very convincing dom. How can she use psychology to establish her sexy top role? A newly out pan man is ready to dive into gay culture. But he isn't quite ready to shave his pubes! Does he have to? On the Magnum, Dan chats with novelist and television writer Kashana Cauley. (Author of The Payback and The Survivalists.) They talk about the pleasure of dystopian novels in a dystopian present, on being a clotheshorse, the student debt crisis, setting

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52:06

Savage Lovecast Episode 980

Savage Lovecast ·

2025/08/12

"Not generous." That is what a gay man puts on his app profile to signify that he is not interested in sex workers. Is this offensive? Hear the heart-warming tale of how a woman spiced up her sex life by creating an Onlyfans account for only one fan- her husband. A gay man loves going to "gay island." It's a small gathering space in a river where queer folks can be together in a chill, clothing-optional way. But guess who is invading Gay Island! Straight families bring their kids to bask in the

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55:23

Savage Lovecast Episode 979

Savage Lovecast ·

2025/08/05

A woman is grappling with the dubious ethics of financial domination. Her friend asked her to do it, and she made a quick, easy $1k. But she knows that it is addictive and can ruin men's lives. Should she continue? A gay man is being bothered to distraction by his straight pal who teases and dominates him. They work together. Driven wild by lust, the caller worries that if he acknowledges the dynamic and shares his feelings, all will be lost. On the Magnum, the dog ate her vibrator. You heard

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43:24

Savage Lovecast Episode 978

Savage Lovecast ·

2025/07/29

While tidying up after some Airbnb guests, a gay man discovered a vibrator left under the pillow. Should he message the couple and offer to send it back, or would that be too embarrassing? One year ago, a woman called the show about her boyfriend, and Dan advised her to break up with him. But they are still together today, and the woman wonders if she should tell her boyfriend about the episode. On the Magnum, Dan chats with Melissa Febos- bestselling author of "The Dry Season: A Memoir of

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50:14

Savage Lovecast Episode 977

Savage Lovecast ·

2025/07/22

A woman's boyfriend wants her to drug him, have her way with him and share him with her friends. He did this before with an ex, and loved it. She's intrigued, but cautious. Should she do it? A straight man is miffed when women act like they want to meet for a second time, but then disappear. Aren't women violating the consent culture contract when they do this? On the Magnum, Dan speaks with Arielle Domb- the intrepid journalist who visited a sex toy brothel in Berlin. Hear about her adventures

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51:48

Savage Lovecast Episode 976

Savage Lovecast ·

2025/07/15

The woman in a married couple that does not want children accidentally got pregnant. This happened once before, and she learned that her husband is against abortion on religious grounds. Should she tell him she will end this pregnancy, or keep it secret from him? Do accidents happen in BDSM? They sure do! Hear the harrowing tale of one man's consequential mistake. Dan brings on Australian kink educator "The Funny Dom" to talk this one through. On the Magnum, a woman's husband is recovering from

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51:07

Savage Lovecast Episode 975

Savage Lovecast ·

2025/07/08

A queer woman has a non-binary, AFAB spouse. Her partner can mime the action of cunnilingus with their tongue, flicking and teasing across the dinner table, like a horny lizard. The caller wishes she could do the same, but her tongue just doesn't work that way. She also gets low marks on her oral technique, and couldn't play the clarinet very well in school. Does she just have a bad tongue? Are there exercises she could do? A 52 year-old straight man was welcomed into a new friend group through

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55:29

Savage Lovecast Episode 974

Savage Lovecast ·

2025/07/01

A woman in her late 40s is struggling to process a relationship she had when she was in college. She slept with a former professor of hers but then got rejected by him. After she moved away, she arranged a visit with him, and got rejected again. Now, over 20 years later, she's wondering if his actions were unethical or inappropriate. We've gotten some tricky parenting questions in the past, but this one is extra-special. The caller is a new mother, and the 24/7 dom in a clothed female/naked male

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55:34

Savage Lovecast Episode 973

Savage Lovecast ·

2025/06/24

Her boyfriend of one year is perfect in every way! Except...he is stoned literally all the time. But he's a great lover, communicates well, and truly loves the caller. So is this really a problem? Will it be eventually? A gay man was raised Mormon, and got the hell out. Now he's living his best gay life, with a boyfriend he loves. But he never had a slutty phase, and worries that the only way to truly exorcise the Mormon mentality is to break free. On this week's show, Dan interviews Sacha

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50:37

Savage Lovecast Episode 972

Savage Lovecast ·

2025/06/17

We start the show with two calls concerning the "post nut" state of mind. One man hates that he becomes selfish and unresponsive so much that he chooses not to come at all. Another wonders if we should start calling it "post-nut confusion." Just in time for Pride, it's a new After-Action Report! Hear the tale of Ian- a straight man who gave a man head for the first time. What were the circumstances of this premier dick-sucking? Would he do it again? Listen in, and find out. On the Magnum, while

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57:19

Savage Lovecast Episode 971

Savage Lovecast ·

2025/06/10

When she was in high school, she surprised herself and delighted her boyfriend by squirting all over his face. But the incident alarmed her enough to set off a neurotic need to pee before every sexual encounter. How can she get out of her head about it, and allow for spontaneity in her current, awesome sex life? A woman is in an in a polyamorous, fantastic, committed relationship full of compersion. Sounds great right? The problem? When they get "activated" he tells her he needs to be with

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55:06

Savage Lovecast Episode 970

Savage Lovecast ·

2025/06/03

A married woman in a poly relationship is planning to visit a boyfriend who lives in a different city for a month. But since they made these plans, she started seeing yet another man. Should she tell the guy she plans to visit about the new guy? Should she do it before the trip so he can pull the rip cord if he needs to? Can you peg your dom? She is a switch, so she knows both sides of the dom/sub dynamic. Her dom wants her to peg him, but she worries she'll slip into dom mode. Dan coaches her

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45:41

Savage Lovecast Episode 969

Savage Lovecast ·

2025/05/27

A man in Nashville keeps having great dates, but then they reject him afterwards. Is it because he's a liberal Jew?A woman is in a new, fun, casual relationship, just like she wanted. But he will be moving away in a few months, so there's a clear end date. How can they enjoy themselves knowing the end is nigh? On the Magnum, put on your pink glasses...it's Randy Rainbow! Rainbow's political, musical theater-based parodies are what the world needs now, more than ever. He and Dan talk about his

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53:14

Savage Lovecast Episode 968

Savage Lovecast ·

2025/05/20

A man in a queer group chat saw that folks were talking about going to a bathhouse in their city for the first time. The caller explained what goes on there, how consent can be slushy, and trans men might not feel welcome. This shut down the conversation. Was he wrong to tell it like it is?A divorced woman with a 4 year old daughter is friendly with her ex-husband but not close. Her daughter is asking why mommy and daddy are not married and don't live together. She's never explained divorce to her

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54:43

Savage Lovecast Episode 967

Savage Lovecast ·

2025/05/13

HA man briefly dated a guy who only bottoms, and collects a variety of giant dildos. The caller worries that his natural size would never satisfy a man like this, and wonders if this is just the standard psychology of power bottoms. A straight woman tends to be attracted to gay and bisexual men, though she's never dated one. She would be interested in dating a bi man, but she requires monogamy, and worries that precious few bi men would be able to commit to her. Is it reasonable to ask a bi man

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