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PODCAST

The Chris Abraham Show

tl:dr: Just a 55-year-old cisgender white male mansplaining his own self-importance. But good. Full Summary: The musings of Chris Abraham as he aspires to know the world and himself while getting healthy, losing weight, becoming fit, and running his small business while living in South Arlington, Virginia. Walk with him a while and see what"s up.

comedy

All Episodes

01:00:30

The Great Patriotic Heist — Uncut Audio Symposium

The Chris Abraham Show ·

2025/10/26

This immersive, long-form audio edition gathers every commentary, Notebook LM segment, stitched reaction, and post-production note from The Great Patriotic Heist project. Think of it as part documentary, part Socratic salon: a living conversation about how America swung—from self-flagellation to flag-waving—in less than two years.Across two hours of unfiltered discussion, analysts, AI narrators, and invited voices trace the strange metamorphosis of the American Left’s rhetoric. We rewind to the

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00:06:18

The Great Patriotic Heist — Visual Briefing: How...

The Chris Abraham Show ·

2025/10/26

This episode is a visual-audio walk-through of the Notebook LM “deck” for The Great Patriotic Heist — a multimedia explainer on how America’s political left abruptly rediscovered the flag. In 1976 the Bicentennial turned Main Street into a Norman Rockwell carnival of belief. In 2026, the same symbols are being curated from boardrooms and NGOs as marketing assets. The presentation moves through five scenes:1️⃣ Whiplash Patriotism — from “colonizer nation” to “USA! USA!” in 18 months.2️⃣ The Heist

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00:58:21

The Mausoleum with Wi-Fi: A Letter to My Optimist Friend

The Chris Abraham Show ·

2025/10/12

Hey Jason,First, thank you. Your reply to America = Afghanistan was what debate used to be — informed, generous, and disarmingly human. You didn’t just argue; you elevated. You said America isn’t a graveyard of movements but a battleground that keeps evolving. That progress doesn’t die, it sediments — layering itself into law, language, and culture. And you’re right, at least partly.My essay argued that Afghanistan defeats empires not through power, but patience. It takes their money, their systems,

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00:07:18

Dear Jason: On Compost, Graveyards, and the Hungry...

The Chris Abraham Show ·

2025/10/12

Hey Jason,First, thank you. Your reply to America = Afghanistan was what debate used to be — informed, generous, and disarmingly human. You didn’t just argue; you elevated. You said America isn’t a graveyard of movements but a battleground that keeps evolving. That progress doesn’t die, it sediments — layering itself into law, language, and culture. And you’re right, at least partly.My essay argued that Afghanistan defeats empires not through power, but patience. It takes their money, their systems,

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00:07:06

Ashes of Vallaki, Light of Krezk

The Chris Abraham Show ·

2025/10/06

Each victory in Barovia costs a soul. Sometimes, it’s your own.The party’s story in these twin sessions begins in ash and ends in resurrection. After the execution of Traxidor, his companions refused to leave his body on display in Vallaki’s square. Lady Wachter had expected their sentimentality. When they came for him, she unleashed hell.Literally.A Barbed Devil pursued them through Vallaki’s backstreets, flanked by smaller spined fiends that shrieked from above. Radley carried Traxidor’s corpse,

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00:49:38

The Devil, the Saint, and the Dragon

The Chris Abraham Show ·

2025/10/06

In Barovia, every escape leads to another trial. Salvation, when it comes, is never free.The night after the gallows of Vallaki, the survivors of the party—Radley, Daermon, and Urihorn—refused to abandon the body of their fallen cleric, Traxidor. His corpse hung publicly as a warning, a final cruelty from Lady Fiona Wachter. When the adventurers slipped through alleys to steal it back, they walked straight into her trap. The air split with screams and sulfur as a Barbed Devil burst from the mist,

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00:06:39

The Three Faces of Fascism in America

The Chris Abraham Show ·

2025/10/02

Fascism, Normies, and the Generational Divide“Idealism increases in direct proportion to one’s distance from the problem.” Or as I like to say, your ability to put up with a problem is your distance from it.If you’re over 40, you probably think fascism means Mussolini’s Italy or Hitler’s Germany — a corporatist system where state and business fused into a one-party authoritarian project. That’s the old poli-sci definition I learned back at GWU in 1988.But ask someone under 40 and you’ll get a

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00:59:53

Fascism, Normies, and the Generational Divide

The Chris Abraham Show ·

2025/10/02

“Idealism increases in direct proportion to one’s distance from the problem.” Or as I like to say, your ability to put up with a problem is your distance from it.If you’re over 40, you probably think fascism means Mussolini’s Italy or Hitler’s Germany — a corporatist system where state and business fused into a one-party authoritarian project. That’s the old poli-sci definition I learned back at GWU in 1988.But ask someone under 40 and you’ll get a different answer. For them, “fascism” covers almost

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00:07:30

Charlie Kirk Blasting Cap Chain Reactions

The Chris Abraham Show ·

2025/09/21

The killing of Charlie Kirk in Utah this September didn’t just extinguish the life of a polarizing activist. It set off a cascade — an implosion in the civic square whose blast radius is still expanding. To make sense of it, we should borrow metaphors not from politics but from physics and history: Sarajevo, Versailles, Oppenheimer.A nuclear bomb is not powered by TNT. It’s powered by the precision of small charges — explosive lenses — that compress a fragile core until it becomes supercritical. A

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00:53:57

The Assassination of Charlie Kirk and the Detonation...

The Chris Abraham Show ·

2025/09/21

Charlie Kirk’s murder on a Utah stage in September 2025 was not just another grim entry in the catalog of American political violence. It was a detonation — the moment when a single blasting cap set off a chain reaction that no one could fully control. To understand it, we need less the vocabulary of day-to-day politics and more the physics of escalation.In a nuclear weapon, you don’t need much fissile material to create an unimaginable blast. What you need are precisely shaped conventional charges

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00:06:35

Ugly Words, Dangerous Fires

The Chris Abraham Show ·

2025/09/21

Why protecting even offensive words is the only way to prevent violenceBy Chris Abraham for SubstackEvery generation rediscovers an old lesson the hard way: words are not bullets, but if you confuse them long enough, bullets eventually appear.Lately I’ve been struck by how quickly our civic conversations move from irritation to punishment. A clumsy remark or ugly slogan goes viral; the mob mobilizes; firings and cancellations follow. It’s tempting to say “well, that’s accountability,” but the speed

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01:02:15

Hate Speech, Free Speech, and the Ladder of Escalation

The Chris Abraham Show ·

2025/09/21

How history, law, and theology warn us against turning words into weaponsBy Chris Abraham for SubstackSome mornings I surprise myself. I wake with the smell of coffee in the apartment, the building still quiet, and realize I’ve become a proselytizer for an old story. Not long ago, I argued about anchor text or attribution models. Now, I listen to daily Gospel readings on Hallow, sit with Jeff Cavins’ reflections, and quote John and Luke in comment threads. Nobody in my circle would have bet on this

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00:06:36

A Cleric's Corpse and Barbed Devils

The Chris Abraham Show ·

2025/09/20

The provided text is an excerpt from a Tabletop Role-Playing Game (TTRPG) session log detailing the exploits of a group of adventurers. Specifically, it documents Session Nineteen of a campaign, outlining the players involved and the characters they control: Urihorn, Radley, and Daermon. The narrative begins with the characters hiding in a cellar after a failed attempt to rescue their executed comrade, Traxidor, from the Burgomistress, Lady Fiona Wachter. The party successfully retrieves

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00:59:59

Session Nineteen: Devils in the Mist and Wachter’s...

The Chris Abraham Show ·

2025/09/20

The adventurers began this session crammed into the cellar of a decrepit Vallaki house, hidden by the wereraven Dannika Martikov after their chaotic escape from the gallows. Radley Fullthorn, the Human Eldritch Knight, and Daermon Cobain, the Elf Arcane Trickster, were unconscious, dragged to safety by allies while Urihorn Tenpenny, the Halfling Beastmaster, and his panther kept watch. Above, Wachter’s patrols rattled doors and questioned villagers, searching for fugitives.When Radley and Daermon

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00:38:20

Session 18 The Gallows of Vallaki

The Chris Abraham Show ·

2025/09/16

Urihorn slipped out at night to fetch his panther companion. The beast bounded over Vallaki’s palisade, jaws clutching a severed arm scavenged from some earlier raid. Urihorn coaxed it free and guided the cat back into hiding. Even loyalty carries blood in Barovia.By morning criers shouted charges: murder, mayhem, defiance of authority. Daermon hid among burned ruins, Urihorn scaled a rooftop with his panther. The prisoners arrived bound in a cart. Radley wore a heavy iron mask that blinded him

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00:06:49

Session Eighteen: Gallows, Ravens, and the Wrath of...

The Chris Abraham Show ·

2025/09/16

In Vallaki, justice is never blind. It is theater, staged with gallows and blood to frighten a weary people into obedience.Barovia wastes nothing, not even prisoners. Only a day after Radley the Eldritch Knight and Traxidor the Cleric were captured by Wachter’s men, the town square filled with hammers and wood. Gallows rose before the eyes of Vallaki’s beaten citizens. Here there are no cells and no juries — only spectacle, execution, and fear.At the Blue Water Inn, Daermon the Arcane Trickster told

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00:16:33

The Death of Charlie Kirk and America’s Two Wars

The Chris Abraham Show ·

2025/09/14

The rifle crack that killed Charlie Kirk in Utah was an earthquake. He collapsed with a wound to the neck, was rushed to a hospital, and pronounced dead. But as with any quake, the most dangerous part isn’t the first tremor. It’s the aftershocks — the cheers, denunciations, and cries of martyrdom — that destabilize what remains.The quake itself is clear: a man shot from a rooftop. The aftershocks are harder. They reveal that America is split not just by politics but by two different realities.On the

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00:05:59

Charlie Kirk Aftershocks: America's Two Wars of Meaning

The Chris Abraham Show ·

2025/09/14

The provided text, "Aftershocks: Charlie Kirk’s Assassination and the Two Wars of America," analyzes the profound societal divisions exposed by Charlie Kirk's assassination, highlighting how this event functions as a prism for understanding America's fractured perspectives on "war." It argues that the "aftershocks" of Kirk's death reveal two distinct battlefields: one where the left perceives war as a material struggle against systemic oppression, and another where the right views it as a spiritual

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00:36:32

Wagons, Wolves, and the Arrival of Urihorn Tenpenny

The Chris Abraham Show ·

2025/09/03

From wagon crashes to mob justice, Barovia trades one fallen paladin for a halfling with a grudge — and nothing is ever as simple as it seems.Barovia wastes nothing. Not even grief. Barely half an hour after Sören Ironwood, our radiant paladin, was executed by Vallaki’s Reeve, the survivors were forced to stagger forward without him. Traxidor the Cleric, Radley the Eldritch Knight, and Daermon the Arcane Trickster retreated to the Blue Water Inn, once a lively place but now silent under Lady

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00:05:38

Vallaki's Reckoning: A Gamble for Freedom

The Chris Abraham Show ·

2025/09/03

This excerpt from "message.txt" details a Dungeons & Dragons role-playing session, specifically Session Seventeen, on August 30, 2025. The narrative follows four player characters—Urihorn Tenpenny (Halfling/Beastmaster), Radley (Human/Eldritch Knight), Traxidor (Half Elf/Cleric of Light), and Daemon Cobain (Elf/Arcane Trickster)—as they navigate the perilous town of Vallaki. The adventurers are tasked with retrieving a wedding dress for the Abbot and become embroiled in the town's

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