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PODCAST

I am Hope in the Chaos

Navigating bipolar disorder (and other mental health struggles) one real moment at a time.Hosted by Jamie Kodra, this podcast brings honest stories, raw emotion, and real support for those living with bipolar—or loving someone who is.Because chaos doesn’t mean hopeless. You’re not alone.

health & fitness mental health

All Episodes

14:13

A Life Saved by Listening

I am Hope in the Chaos ·

2025/10/17

Need to chat? Send a text! Sometimes, saving a life doesn’t come from a prescription, a therapy session, or a perfect plan — it comes from listening. In this deeply personal episode, Jamie opens up about what it truly means to help someone struggling with suicidal thoughts and bipolar disorder. She shares her own experiences of standing in the darkness — both as the one reaching out and as the one who answered the call. You’ll hear how compassion, understanding, and human connection can bridg...

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18:03

The Cost Of Being Misun

I am Hope in the Chaos ·

2025/10/09

Need to chat? Send a text! There’s a certain kind of pain that comes with being misunderstood — the kind that runs deeper than words, deeper than logic. In this episode, Jamie opens up about a recent manic episode and the raw reality of what it feels like to lose control of yourself while the world around you struggles to understand. She shares the truth behind mania — the chaos, the helplessness, and the heartbreak of watching those you love not know how to help. Through her story, Jamie exp...

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9:15

Every Patient Deserves To Be Heard

I am Hope in the Chaos ·

2025/10/03

Need to chat? Send a text! Far too often, patients spend years searching for answers, only to feel dismissed, ignored, or abandoned in the process. In this episode, I share my own journey of what it was like to finally find a doctor who truly listened—someone who cared enough to dig deeper and help me discover what I really needed. Every patient deserves that same care. It shouldn’t take years of frustration and pain to be seen, heard, and treated with dignity. Together, we’ll explore what ...

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15:50

Everyday Anchors

I am Hope in the Chaos ·

2025/09/24

Need to chat? Send a text! Life’s storms can feel overwhelming, but it’s often the small, steady practices that keep us grounded. In this episode of I Am Hope in the Chaos, Jamie explores the idea of everyday anchors—simple tools and habits that help us find calm in the middle of mental and emotional turbulence. She shares her own story of stepping barefoot into the grass and explains the powerful science and symbolism behind grounding. From breathwork and journaling to creativity, movement, ...

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12:44

The Things We Can’t Stop

I am Hope in the Chaos ·

2025/09/17

Need to chat? Send a text! Bad things happen in life, no matter how much we plan, prepare, or hope they won’t. In this episode, Jamie reflects on the reality of life’s winters—those unavoidable seasons of loss, pain, and struggle—and how they affect our mental health. Drawing from Katherine May’s Wintering and sharing her own tender story of losing her golden doodle, Oliver, Jamie explores how grief lingers, how support often falls short, and why the best help is the kind that arrives unasked...

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14:27

Hope’s Journey & the Roller Coaster of Bipolar

I am Hope in the Chaos ·

2025/09/03

Need to chat? Send a text! Life with bipolar disorder isn’t about willpower or “snapping out of it.” It’s a storm inside the brain that feels like a roller coaster—soaring highs, crashing lows, and turns you never see coming. In this episode, I open up about what it really feels like to navigate bipolar, the invisible struggles most people don’t see, and the long, painful process of finding the right diagnosis and treatment. I also share the heart behind my upcoming book, Hope’s Journey: Find...

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10:39

Becoming Your Own Advocate

I am Hope in the Chaos ·

2025/08/28

Need to chat? Send a text! Silence isn’t safety. It’s heavy. And for a long time, I believed staying quiet about my needs would protect me. But the truth? Silence only made me feel smaller, unseen, and weighed down by the chaos inside. In this episode, I share how I began the journey of becoming my own advocate — from the shaky, uncomfortable first steps to the small daily choices that continue to remind me: my needs matter, my voice matters, and I matter. We’ll talk about what self-advocacy ...

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19:13

Meeting Yourself For The First Time

I am Hope in the Chaos ·

2025/08/19

Need to chat? Send a text! What if you’ve never truly met the real you? For years, I lived in survival mode — weighed down by mislabels, misunderstandings, and battles I couldn’t name. But everything shifted when I finally received the right diagnosis and treatment. At 32 years old, I met myself for the very first time… and it changed everything. In this episode, I’m sharing what it feels like to finally find yourself — and how you can start catching glimpses of your truest self, even i...

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13:33

Strong Doesn’t Mean You’re Okay

I am Hope in the Chaos ·

2025/08/12

Need to chat? Send a text! We live in a world that praises strength — smiling through the pain, holding it together for everyone else, never letting anyone see you crack. But sometimes “strong” just means you’ve gotten really good at hiding the pain. In this episode, I’m sharing the truth about what it’s like to be “the strong one” — the person everyone turns to, the one who always seems fine, even when you’re falling apart inside. I talk about the mask we wear, the exhaustion that come...

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17:22

You Don't Look Bipolar

I am Hope in the Chaos ·

2025/08/08

Need to chat? Send a text! People say mania doesn’t make you do things. That bipolar is just an excuse. That it’s all a choice. But if you’ve lived through it — really lived it — you know the truth: Bipolar isn’t a mood swing. It’s a storm. A storm that hijacks your mind, floods your body, and leaves you picking up pieces of a life you didn’t even consciously choose in that moment. In this episode, I’m getting raw and personal about what it feels like to live with bipolar disord...

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29:22

Triggers and Landmines

I am Hope in the Chaos ·

2025/07/31

Need to chat? Send a text! Triggers can feel like emotional landmines—unexpected, explosive, and capable of knocking you off your feet before you even know what happened. In this episode, I’m breaking down what triggers really are, how they bypass logic and throw us straight into fight, flight, freeze… or even the fawn response. I’ll share a personal story about one of my own triggers, the wounds it reopens, and why these moments can feel so devastatingly out of our control—especially for tho...

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19:34

When It Rains It Pours

I am Hope in the Chaos ·

2025/07/22

Need to chat? Send a text! Sometimes, life doesn’t just hand you a storm—it opens the floodgates. I’m opening up about why this one is coming to you later than planned. From medical emergencies to emotional overwhelm, it’s been a season of life where it feels like everything hit at once. You’ll hear how I’ve been navigating the physical and emotional toll of the past few weeks—and how even in the chaos, I’m finding my way back to hope. We’ll talk about what happens when your body is fighting ...

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17:17

Message In The Bottle

I am Hope in the Chaos ·

2025/06/24

Need to chat? Send a text! Ever felt like you were sending out silent signals—hoping someone would finally notice you’re not okay? In this episode, Jamie opens up about those invisible messages we send when we’re overwhelmed, misunderstood, or just trying to survive. Woven through her story is Hope, the girl at the center of her upcoming children’s book, and a powerful reflection of all the feelings we didn’t have words for growing up. This isn’t just about bipolar disorder—it’s about what it...

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14:01

The Gate Was Meant To Be Closed

I am Hope in the Chaos ·

2025/06/17

Need to chat? Send a text! Sometimes the worst days have a way of guiding us exactly where we need to be. In this episode, Jamie shares a story of heartbreak, unexpected grace, and gentle signs of guidance hidden within life's toughest moments. A Father's Day rockhounding trip takes a disappointing turn, only to reveal itself later as a profound blessing in disguise when Jamie and her family experience the sudden loss of their beloved dog, Oliver. Through raw honesty and vulnerability, Jamie ...

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22:38

When the Darkness Lingers — Finding Hope in the...

I am Hope in the Chaos ·

2025/06/11

Need to chat? Send a text! This episode dives into one of the hardest, most important conversations we can have—about the experience of suicidal thoughts, ideation, and attempts. Jamie opens up about her personal journey with bipolar disorder, survival, and the moments that nearly took her under—but didn’t. With compassion and honesty, this episode explores what it feels like to wake up in the depths of mental illness, how to create a personal safety plan, how to hold space for others in cris...

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17:04

Unearthed - What Rockhounding Has Taught Me About...

I am Hope in the Chaos ·

2025/06/04

Need to chat? Send a text! What do digging for gemstones and navigating bipolar disorder have in common? In this raw and reflective episode, Jamie takes you deep into the heart of nature—and the heart of healing. From unearthing fluorite in a mine to unearthing emotional breakthroughs in therapy, this episode draws powerful parallels between rockhounding and the mental health journey. Jamie shares five ways this hobby has taught her life-changing lessons about trauma, resilience, and rediscov...

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17:04

My Diagnosis Wasn’t a Sentence—It Was a Map

I am Hope in the Chaos ·

2025/05/28

Need to chat? Send a text! In this deeply personal episode, Jamie opens up about her journey to finally receiving a diagnosis of bipolar II—and how it changed everything. What once felt like a sentence became a map—a guide to understanding herself, her symptoms, her needs, and ultimately her healing. She shares honest stories of misdiagnosis, emotional chaos, moments of clarity, and how her diagnosis helped her rebuild her identity and reconnect with her dreams. Jamie offers practical tools a...

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10:43

The Trail We Didn’t Plan For

I am Hope in the Chaos ·

2025/05/20

Need to chat? Send a text!What started as a short family hike turned into a 7-mile climb through steep trails, missed turns, and pouring rain. In this episode, Jamie shares the story—and the powerful metaphor it became for navigating life with bipolar disorder, parenting through uncertainty, and finding joy even in the storm.This one’s for anyone who’s ever ended up on a harder path than they planned.Support the show

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6:58

Oxygen Masks & Misunderstandings

I am Hope in the Chaos ·

2025/05/13

Need to chat? Send a text! In this deeply personal episode, Jamie shares how an airplane safety message unexpectedly mirrored her journey with bipolar disorder—and what it truly means to “put on your own oxygen mask first.” She also unpacks a powerful moment from a TV show that exposed the pain of being seen only through the lens of a diagnosis. This episode is a reminder that we are not our worst moments, and healing begins when we reclaim our breath and our identity. For anyone living with ...

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9:43

The Nighttime Spiral – Why Bipolar Feels Worse at Night

I am Hope in the Chaos ·

2025/05/06

Why does everything feel heavier after dark? In this raw and deeply relatable episode, Jamie unpacks the emotional and physiological chaos that often hits at night for those living with bipolar disorder—especially bipolar II. She shares what her own nighttime spirals look like, how hypomania sneaks in when the world goes quiet, and the guilt that follows when sleep doesn’t come. But this isn’t just about struggle—it’s also about strategy. Jamie shares the coping tools that help her calm...

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