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PODCAST

Dateable()AF

Rachel Howell & Dr. Sarah Kyle

The Dateable AF podcast is hosted by Dr. Sarah Kyle and Rachel Howell.Please check out our website https://www.dateableaf.com/Dateable AF is a relationship podcast that goes deeper than dating advice. Hosted by a therapist and a researcher, the show breaks down the emotional patterns behind connection, conflict, identity, and growth. We skip platitudes and focus on what actually helps people relate more honestly, securely, and sustainably.Hosted by two longtime friends, this show dives into the

health & fitness sexuality

All Episodes

32:43

S3E14: “Someday You’ll Be Amazing”: The Trap of...

Dateable()AF ·

2026/04/16

Dateable AF Show Notes:Have you ever thought, “I’ve explained this so many times. Why doesn’t anything change?”In this episode of Dateable AF, we talk about one of the most exhausting relationship experiences: doing all the emotional work, communicating clearly, staying calm, using “I” statements, and still feeling stuck in the same cycle.This is not an anti-communication episode. Communication matters. But sometimes communication is not the problem. Sometimes the problem is that nothing changes, no

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22:45

S3E13: “Insight Isn’t Self-Attack”: When...

Dateable()AF ·

2026/04/09

Dateable AF Show Notes:Have you ever thought, “I’ve explained this so many times. Why doesn’t anything change?”In this episode of Dateable AF, we talk about one of the most exhausting relationship experiences: doing all the emotional work, communicating clearly, staying calm, using “I” statements, and still feeling stuck in the same cycle.This is not an anti-communication episode. Communication matters. But sometimes communication is not the problem. Sometimes the problem is that nothing changes, no

en

35:10

S3E12: “Awkward Won’t Kill You” Learning to Tolerate...

Dateable()AF ·

2026/04/02

Dateable AF Show Notes:Have you ever thought, “I’ve explained this so many times. Why doesn’t anything change?”In this episode of Dateable AF, we talk about one of the most exhausting relationship experiences: doing all the emotional work, communicating clearly, staying calm, using “I” statements, and still feeling stuck in the same cycle.This is not an anti-communication episode. Communication matters. But sometimes communication is not the problem. Sometimes the problem is that nothing changes, no

en

34:53

S3E11: “Great Chat… About You”: When People Don’t Ask...

Dateable()AF ·

2026/03/26

Dateable AF Show Notes:Have you ever thought, “I’ve explained this so many times. Why doesn’t anything change?”In this episode of Dateable AF, we talk about one of the most exhausting relationship experiences: doing all the emotional work, communicating clearly, staying calm, using “I” statements, and still feeling stuck in the same cycle.This is not an anti-communication episode. Communication matters. But sometimes communication is not the problem. Sometimes the problem is that nothing changes, no

en

32:43

S3E10: Trust Comes Back When Behavior Changes

Dateable()AF ·

2026/03/19

Dateable AF Show Notes:Have you ever thought, “I’ve explained this so many times. Why doesn’t anything change?”In this episode of Dateable AF, we talk about one of the most exhausting relationship experiences: doing all the emotional work, communicating clearly, staying calm, using “I” statements, and still feeling stuck in the same cycle.This is not an anti-communication episode. Communication matters. But sometimes communication is not the problem. Sometimes the problem is that nothing changes, no

en

29:12

S3E9: Owning It vs. Explaining It: What...

Dateable()AF ·

2026/03/12

Dateable AF Show Notes:S3E9: Owning It vs. Explaining It: What Accountability Looks Like in Real LifeHave you ever tried to talk to someone about something that hurt you, only to walk away from the conversation feeling like nothing actually changed?Maybe they explained their intentions. Maybe they shared their stress, their reasoning, or what they meant by what they said.And by the end of the conversation, you understood them better. But somehow you still didn’t feel repaired.In this episode of the

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36:18

S3E8 “Nothing’s Wrong… So Why Am I Unhappy?”: When...

Dateable()AF ·

2026/03/05

Dateable AF Show Notes:Have you ever thought, “I’ve explained this so many times. Why doesn’t anything change?”In this episode of Dateable AF, we talk about one of the most exhausting relationship experiences: doing all the emotional work, communicating clearly, staying calm, using “I” statements, and still feeling stuck in the same cycle.This is not an anti-communication episode. Communication matters. But sometimes communication is not the problem. Sometimes the problem is that nothing changes, no

en

36:31

S3E7: “It’s Easier If I Just Do It”: Why You’re...

Dateable()AF ·

2026/02/26

Dateable AF Show Notes:Have you ever thought, “I’ve explained this so many times. Why doesn’t anything change?”In this episode of Dateable AF, we talk about one of the most exhausting relationship experiences: doing all the emotional work, communicating clearly, staying calm, using “I” statements, and still feeling stuck in the same cycle.This is not an anti-communication episode. Communication matters. But sometimes communication is not the problem. Sometimes the problem is that nothing changes, no

en

35:34

S3E6: Why Your Relationship Changed When You Did:...

Dateable()AF ·

2026/02/19

Dateable AF Show Notes:Have you ever thought, “I’ve explained this so many times. Why doesn’t anything change?”In this episode of Dateable AF, we talk about one of the most exhausting relationship experiences: doing all the emotional work, communicating clearly, staying calm, using “I” statements, and still feeling stuck in the same cycle.This is not an anti-communication episode. Communication matters. But sometimes communication is not the problem. Sometimes the problem is that nothing changes, no

en

33:21

S3E5: Fear of Being Seen vs. Fear of Being Left: Why...

Dateable()AF ·

2026/02/12

Dateable AF Show Notes:S3E5: Fear of Being Seen vs. Fear of Being Left: Why You Abandon Yourself Before Anyone Else CanHave you ever thought, “I’ve explained this so many times. Why doesn’t anything change?”In this episode of Dateable AF, we talk about one of the most exhausting relationship experiences: doing all the emotional work, communicating clearly, staying calm, using “I” statements, and still feeling stuck in the same cycle.This is not an anti-communication episode. Communication matters

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37:12

S3E4: You’re Not Bad at Communication. You’re...

Dateable()AF ·

2026/02/05

Dateable AF Show Notes:S3E4: You’re Not Bad at Communication. You’re Tolerating Too Much: When Talking Doesn’t Fix the ProblemHave you ever thought, “I’ve explained this so many times. Why doesn’t anything change?”In this episode of Dateable AF, we talk about one of the most exhausting relationship experiences: doing all the emotional work, communicating clearly, staying calm, using “I” statements, and still feeling stuck in the same cycle.This is not an anti-communication episode. Communication

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33:52

S3E3: Shame and defensiveness in relationships: Why...

Dateable()AF ·

2026/01/29

Dateable AF Show Notes:Have you ever had a partner say, “Hey, can we talk about last night?” and immediately felt like you were in trouble?Even when no one is blaming you, your body reacts like you are being attacked. Your heart races. You get defensive. You start explaining, justifying, or shutting down. Suddenly, a simple conversation turns into a fight.In this episode of Dateable AF, we explore why that happens and what it has to do with shame, not weakness.We start by unpacking what shame

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31:54

S3E2: “Are You Regulated or Just Really Good at Not...

Dateable()AF ·

2026/01/22

Dateable AF Show Notes:A lot of people think emotional regulation means staying calm. But calm isn’t the same as connected. In this episode, we unpack one of the most misunderstood concepts in modern relationship culture: emotional regulation — and how easily it gets confused with emotional suppression. Because you can look “together,” be low-drama, and even feel composed… while being completely disconnected from what you actually feel. And that disconnection shows up everywhere — in dating, in

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37:14

Come Closer… Not Like That - Why Intimacy Feels...

Dateable()AF ·

2026/01/15

Dateable AF Show Notes:Why Intimacy Feels Riskier Than Loneliness** This season marks a shift. Dateable AF started as a dating podcast — but what we kept circling back to was how people relate. Dating is just one place where relationship patterns show up. Whether it’s a partner, a friend, a parent, or a coworker… the same emotional dynamics keep repeating. So yes, the podcast is still called Dateable AF. No, we’re not changing the name. But dating was just the beginning. Season 3 is about what

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36:14

Mistletoe & Minefields: Navigating the Holidays with...

Dateable()AF ·

2025/12/18

Dateable AF Show Notes:Meet Rachel Howell and Dr. Sarah KyleProducer: Jordan Cannon & Shelly Silvey GrabeTheme Song: Cade KyleCover Photo: Mackenzie MowatDateable AF is a podcast about all things lesbian dating—or queer dating—or women-who-date-women dating. Whatever letter you vibe with, if you're a woman who dates women, this one's for you.Hosted by two longtime friends, this show dives into the wild, wonderful, and often WTF world of dating women—with honesty, humor, and zero shame. Expect

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45:15

S2E16: Control Issues in Cute Outfits: Why we try to...

Dateable()AF ·

2025/12/11

Dateable AF Show Notes:Meet Rachel Howell and Dr. Sarah KyleProducer: Jordan Cannon & Shelly Silvey GrabeTheme Song: Cade KyleCover Photo: Mackenzie MowatDateable AF is a podcast about all things lesbian dating—or queer dating—or women-who-date-women dating. Whatever letter you vibe with, if you're a woman who dates women, this one's for you.Hosted by two longtime friends, this show dives into the wild, wonderful, and often WTF world of dating women—with honesty, humor, and zero shame. Expect

en

47:49

S2E15: Fight Right: How to Argue Without Burning the...

Dateable()AF ·

2025/12/04

Dateable AF Show Notes:Rachel and Sarah discussing KissingProducer: Jordan Cannon & Shelly Silvey GrabeTheme Song: Cade KyleCover Photo: Mackenzie MowatDateable AF is a podcast about all things lesbian dating—or queer dating—or women-who-date-women dating. Whatever letter you vibe with, if you're a woman who dates women, this one's for you.Hosted by two longtime friends, this show dives into the wild, wonderful, and often WTF world of dating women—with honesty, humor, and zero shame. Expect

en

39:16

S2E14: “Gaydar 2.0: How We Actually Know Who’s Queer...

Dateable()AF ·

2025/11/27

Dateable AF Show Notes:Rachel and Sarah discussing Who is Queer?Producer: Jordan Cannon & Shelly Silvey GrabeTheme Song: Cade KyleCover Photo: Mackenzie MowatDateable AF is a podcast about all things lesbian dating—or queer dating—or women-who-date-women dating. Whatever letter you vibe with, if you're a woman who dates women, this one's for you.Hosted by two longtime friends, this show dives into the wild, wonderful, and often WTF world of dating women—with honesty, humor, and zero shame

en

44:33

Revisit- Lesbian Dating on the Apps: Where Hope and...

Dateable()AF ·

2025/11/20

Dateable AF Show Notes:Rachel and Sarah are traveling. Here is a revisit of a great show they had in Season 1- Lesbian Dating on the Apps: Where hope and Sanity go to die!Producer: Jordan Cannon & Shelly Silvey GrabeTheme Song: Cade KyleCover Photo: Mackenzie MowatDateable AF is a podcast about all things lesbian dating—or queer dating—or women-who-date-women dating. Whatever letter you vibe with, if you're a woman who dates women, this one's for you.Hosted by two longtime friends, this show

en

42:24

Dateable AF- Revisit Avoiding the Situationship Spiral

Dateable()AF ·

2025/11/13

Dateable AF Show Notes:Rachel and Sarah discussing SituationshipsProducer: Jordan Cannon & Shelly Silvey GrabeTheme Song: Cade KyleCover Photo: Mackenzie MowatDateable AF is a podcast about all things lesbian dating—or queer dating—or women-who-date-women dating. Whatever letter you vibe with, if you're a woman who dates women, this one's for you.Hosted by two longtime friends, this show dives into the wild, wonderful, and often WTF world of dating women—with honesty, humor, and zero shame

en

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