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PODCAST

Couple of Blokes

David "The Ox" Schwarz and Mark "Marko" Allen

Couple of Blokes is a podcast hosted by former AFL star David "Ox" Schwarz, and former Tour Pro Golfer Mark "Marko" Allen.Every Wednesday Ox and Marko are bang up for solving the worlds problems often over a couple of quiet brewski"s. They talk life, relationships, footy, golf, with an assortment of ridiculous segments. Get around it before they come to their senses and realise they"re actually pretty ordinary at this podcast caper and go back to watching nonstop Kayo Sports.Executive Producer:

comedy golf

All Episodes

43:31

Ep78: The Ox: "A Review into Simon Goodwin & the...

Couple of Blokes ·

2024/08/13

We kick off the pod with Olympics chat, how great was it! Marko doesn't understand something about the cycling, we discuss. Leads to a chat about aerodynamics. Who'd have thought.Raygun. We discuss. Ouch. Ox watched her try-out for the Olympics and describes her as being like under 14's vs an AFL team. She was awful, and Ox believes she should be fined. Ox and Marko watched the closing ceremony and loved it, Marko felt the Olympics were very phallic. He explains.Ox was at a 50th at the weekend, and

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47:22

Ep77: Ox Goes Drunk Shopping on Temu (Again) & Marko...

Couple of Blokes ·

2024/08/06

OX has come in a new fragrance today that he loves, and Marko is impressed. Ox feels that 'smell' is the strongest of all the senses, Marko disagrees. A debate ensues.Marko has come in a bit grumpy today, he has a list of things that have pissed him off, and runs us through them.Ox has been drunk shopping on Temu again, he tells us what he's bought this time. We have discussion (argument) over deciduous trees. Two members of the pod hate them, one loves them. And then Ox lines up Marko over his

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52:26

Ep76: Spring Roll Update, Germaphobes, and Why Ox...

Couple of Blokes ·

2024/07/30

Marko has come in annoyed with an old lady at his gym, he reckons everyone there is also annoyed with her as she does something at the gym that Marko thinks is inappropriate.Ox discusses Botox, he’s decided to never get it. And he is not a fan of tattoos. We find that Ox has a medical condition. He explains what’s going on, there’s a fair bit. The big fella is falling apart! He’s been squirting stuff up his nose to help with one of his conditions, and he’s decided he loves it. And Ox then starts

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43:37

Ep75: Ox names 'The OZ City with the Most Beautiful...

Couple of Blokes ·

2024/07/23

The show starts today with Marko pumping up his own tyres over his coffee making ability, and Ox has been watching a show called The Bear which reminds him of Marko. We then discuss personalities with names that lend themselves to rhyming slangA funny incident this week. Ox has had the new rangehood he bought from e&s trading delivered, and the delivery company (not e&s) spelt his surname incorrectly. Ox reacts exactly as you'd expect. Marko raves about the reno that Ox has done in Wodonga

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42:49

Ep74: The Trump Shooting: We Talk to an Armed Forces...

Couple of Blokes ·

2024/07/16

If you're coming specifically for the Sniper interview - it's around the 29-minute mark. But if you want to hear the whole pod - we'd love that.Ox notices Marko's 'painted' fingernail and is curious as to whether he is promoting some cause. The answer is somewhat less altruistic, and Marko explains what the sitch is.Ox has a new segment idea he has called 'What Should I Do?'. It occurred to him when he bumped into a homeless bloke in Melbourne and shouted him some sushi. There were issues and Ox has

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41:32

Ep73: Ox Suspended From His Own Segment, Marko Hates...

Couple of Blokes ·

2024/07/09

Ox is back from Bali, tanned, relaxed, but we discover zero colonics. We're not entirely sure we believe him.He gives us an update on the fines situation and where he's at with them. He was a bit intimidated by the fines lady who he described as 'scary'.Unlike Ox, Marko is not relaxed. He has come in worked up over a council in the Bellarine, Queenscliff council, who he is very disappointed in. He explains what they've done to piss him off. Marko wants to hear issues with councils.Ox has come to the

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39:03

Ep72: Ox 'We Need XXXL for Overweight ex-AFL Players'...

Couple of Blokes ·

2024/07/02

Controversial start when Marko self-reports something he has been copping criticism for. He apologises to The Ox for this particular behaviour, which Ox notes has been going for something like 20-years.Ox then decides to give Titleist a whack for their sizing structure in clothing, specifically their lack of XXXL clothing. He called the Titleist boss to complain, did he get anywhere?Marko poses a scenario to Ox and Third Man, something that happened to him at the weekend, and says that he will judge

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0:38

Voicemail: From Mick

Couple of Blokes ·

2024/06/27

Ox and Marko love to hear your feedback, might be a comment, a question, and idea - you can leave your comment on social media, email us, or leave a voicemail at our website here, just like Mighty Mick did.See you next Wednesday! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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43:10

Ep71: Marko Reveals His Secret Massage Fantasy, and...

Couple of Blokes ·

2024/06/25

Pod starts with Ox and Marko ripping the piss, again, out of Third Man's lemon and ginger tea. Borderline defamatory. There may be legal action pending. Ox again recommends Third Man addresses his sore throat with scotch. A comment on Vicks on feet, and what it does to your socks reminds Ox of Marko's approach to socks....if you've not heard it, it is quite unusual.We discuss fines. And Ox explains a significant fine situation where he has a bunch of unpaid fines that have copped a heap of interest

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47:57

Ep70: Ox 'Don't Start Me on F***ing Golf Clubs', and...

Couple of Blokes ·

2024/06/18

This weeks pod gets off to a rough start when Marko discovers that his coffee from McDonalds has been made with the wrong milk. He is unhappy, and is considering going back and lining up the kid who made it. Ox remembers a story about a Mackas incident that happened to him which makes him think he is getting old.Third Man doesn't believe that Marko going back to the Mackas to line up the kid who made the coffee, Ox and Marko both think he has no choice and the kid deserves to be pulled in line as

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36:12

Ep69: Ox: 'If I Went on a Cruise, I'd Roll off the...

Couple of Blokes ·

2024/06/11

In a riveting start to the podcast, Ox wants to have some weather chat. So we humour him and discuss the weather. We recommend you fast forward through this part. Takes about 6 minutes or so, so feel free to skip through. You're welcome.But Ox does raise a reasonable point about what the 'feels like' thing means. As it turns out, Marko knows exactly why and explains it. Ox then discusses dam levels. Again, fast forward through.We move onto car washing, which Ox and Marko feel is a lost art. They

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12:37

Bonus: AFL Kings Birthday Weekend Footy Preview

Couple of Blokes ·

2024/06/07

A bonus pod today previewing each game this weekend, aside from Richmond v Adelaide which was last night, with Ox and Marko particularly keen on the Dees v Pies game on Monday given their respective allegiances.If you're set for a big weekend of footy, have a listen to todays pod where we run through the games.We're here thanks to Paul & Kurt at the E&S Trading Clearance Centre in Clayton, Melbourne on Dandenong Road - right opposite Ikea. After an incredible deal on amazing gear? You won't

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45:12

Ep68: Why Ox Loves 'Kiss Cam', Markos 'Sexy &...

Couple of Blokes ·

2024/06/04

The pod gets off to a rough start. Third Man has a cold and he's drinking lemon and ginger tea, Ox and Marko decide to bully him and massively rip the piss out of him. There may be a complaint to pod HR over this situation.But once the rampant bullying is out of the way, we get into the pod. Ox has been stitched up by another driver on the road, but was secretly impressed by this other blokes behaviour. It has to do with driving etiquette.Third Man raises a question to do with contract law.. It has

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43:32

Ep67: Ox & Marko's Beauty Regimes, Celebrity Roasts,...

Couple of Blokes ·

2024/05/28

Fun pod today. Marko has brought in what he calls the Tom Brady of snacks - a new Twisties combo which combines chicken and cheese. The Ox challenges Marko's statement that Tom Brady is the greatest sportsperson in history, by tossing up Michael Jordan and Tiger Woods. Disagreement ensues.On Tom Brady, The Ox has watched the roast and loved it. He explains to Marko what happened. Ox and Marko don't know why we're not doing roasts in Australia, and they list a bunch of Aussie names who should be

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40:48

Ep66: The Ox: "These Days I Walk Into a Pizza Hut and...

Couple of Blokes ·

2024/05/21

Aaaaaand we're back. Ox and Marko are back from a couple of weeks off, and ready for a big show.Breaking news: Marko ran into an ex-girlfriend at a local coffee shop and didn't know how to handle it. He decided to not tell Trish, which seems risky. Marko says that he was a terrible boyfriend and she should have dumped him.On a more positive note, Marko has brought in a pack of Chickadees which we devour it in about 10 seconds. We discuss where chicken salt was invented, and find out the name of the

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0:56

Ox's 'Hand Sandy' Radio Commercial

Couple of Blokes ·

2024/05/21

Recently The Ox came up with a cracking idea to develop gloves made of sandpaper for working on timber, walls, anything really that requires sanding. Brilliant! And yes, we've had multiple messages from listeners saying that the idea already exists, but we're not the kind of podcast to let that get in the way. So, with thanks to the Couple of Blokes Sound Engineer Daz, we present to you Ox's radio commercial for the Hand Sandy as premiered recently on the Couple of Blokes podcast.We're in the

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13:39

Best Of: Appalling Behaviour From Golf Pro's **...

Couple of Blokes ·

2024/05/16

Ox and Marko are having a couple of weeks off, but the boys will be back live on Wednesday May 22 for Season 3 of the 'Couple of Blokes' podcast.This episode was a bonus ep, and was the one that has received the most feedback that we've ever had. Largely from you speculating on whom the golfer concerned was, which for legal reasons we can't say. We'll replay it now, because you loved it - but - we reiterate a content warning. Don't listen to this ep with the kids around!Thanks to our good mates at

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44:45

Best Of: Ox Reveals the Demons End of Season Trip...

Couple of Blokes ·

2024/05/12

Ox and Marko are having a couple of weeks off, but the boys will be back live on Wednesday May 22 for Season 3 of the 'Couple of Blokes' podcast.Over the break we'll replay some of the episodes that are most memorable in the boys minds. Marko loved the ep where The Ox revealed the drinking game that used to take place on Melbourne Demons end of season trips, which the seasoned players knew how to navigate, the younger ones a little less so. Very funny. On this replay episode you'll hear all about

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46:28

Best Of: Marko Gets Hit on by a Cop...or Does He ?

Couple of Blokes ·

2024/05/09

Ox and Marko are having a couple of weeks off, but the boys will be back live on Wednesday May 22 for Season 3 of the 'Couple of Blokes' podcast.Over the break we'll replay some of the episodes that are most memorable in the boys minds. Earlier this season Marko told a story about being pulled over by policewoman. The Ox reckons she was hitting on him - Mark was far too quick to agree that it was indeed what was happening. There is no evidence to support this, but Marko is very happy to go with it

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42:18

Best Of: The Ox's Mum Calls, and Smashes the Big Guy...

Couple of Blokes ·

2024/05/06

Ox and Marko are having a couple of weeks off, but the boys will be back live on Wednesday May 22 for Season 3 of the 'Couple of Blokes' podcast.Over the break we'll replay some of the episodes that are most memorable in the boys minds. Today, an episode we loved. We got The Ox's Mum on the phone, because he wanted to address the issue of the Bumblebee bike she bought him - and wowee did Mary line up The Ox and give him a pantsing live on the pod!Thanks to our good mates at the e&s Trading

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