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PODCAST

The Fifth Column

Kmele Foster, Michael Moynihan, and Matt Welch

Your weekly rhetorical assault on the on the news cycle, the people who make it, and occasionally ourselves. Kmele Foster (Freethink), Michael Moynihan (Vice), and Matt Welch (Reason) talk and laugh and drink their way to at least quasi-sanity in a world gone mad, often with the aid of clean and articulate guests. Weekly Members Only subscription edition often comes with listener mail and professional-quality (if inappropriate) singing. Analysis. Commentary. Sedition. www.wethefifth.com

news & politics

All Episodes

91:18

Iran and the Fog of Regime Change (w/Hooman Majd) - #547

The Fifth Column ·

2026/03/05

Hooman Majd comes from a family that reads like a parable about modern Iran: a grandfather who was an ayatollah, an uncle who worked for the Shah, and a folk-singing aunt. Everyone’s family has a version of this, right?-Iran is a tragedy-the sense of triumph has already faded-is Hooman happy the Supreme Leader was killed?-Trump’s motive: regime change, or only regime adjustment?-a ring of fire around Israel-hijab mandates, strict social rules, and the morality police using facial recognition-did the

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23:02

Iran and the Dee Snider Doctrine (Members Only #306)

The Fifth Column ·

2026/03/03

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com-Matt takes off his glasses, Kmele panics-Moynihan is furious we started a war during his aggressive vomiting window-The Great Unwrapping of Liberated Iranian Women as the most convincing reason for war-Marco Rubio sells the rationale in Möbius-strip logic-the Dee Snider Doctrine-The Death of the War Powers Resolution-Is Rep. Anna Paulina Luna serious r…

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23:56

One Hitter: War With Iran and Jewish Space Lasers w/...

The Fifth Column ·

2026/03/02

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.comJournalist Nadav Eyal joins Welch and Moyniahn to game out the Iran strikes, why Gaza’s endgame is still murky, and why the “no boots on the ground” promise matters more than most hot takes admit. -Zen and the Art of Strategic Surprise-Everyone who’s anyone in the region knew this was going to happen.-Why the US was convinced this was a good idea-Death to America…

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28:01

The Revolutionaries (w/ Ken Layne) -- #5

The Fifth Column ·

2026/02/27

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.comI first met Ken Layne sometime in 1991, back when Vanilla Ice ruled the pop charts, the Soviet Union was still a thing, and Canadians still had a reasonable expectation of winning the Stanley Cup.We have been collaborating and experimenting ever since -- a little newspapering here, some music there, various dot-com shenanigans, all of it in a spirit of …

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113:53

State of the Union Post-Mortem with Senator Elissa...

The Fifth Column ·

2026/02/26

-Matt Welch’s Caribbean identity crisis at Da Pig Beach-The State of the Union aka a two-hour hostage note-A greatest hits, lowest lights compilation for President Camacho-The futility of “speeching” your way through a math-defying approval rating-You can’t talk your way through a 38% approval rating-Let the hockey boys drink-Dan Crenshaw is allowed to be mad-The RNC’s new guard of real fucking bozos and sycophantic dick-tots-JD Vance as anti-corruption czar and populist beard for the

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21:59

Locker Room Talk and the Pizzagate Reunion Tour...

The Fifth Column ·

2026/02/24

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.comKash chugs it back with the toothless championsTrump and his locker room talk with the boysState of the Union and the Six Year ItchA uniquely conspiratorial moment in an already conspiratorial nationPizzaGate nostalgia hourFact checking dies in publicA laundry list of made up shit that’s not even close to being trueBaby-eating melodrama meets Beetlejuic…

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9:30

A Big, Beautiful SCOTUS Decision (with Damon Root) MO...

The Fifth Column ·

2026/02/20

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com* Damon Root’s book Overruled: The Long War for Control of the U.S. Supreme Court * Basic civics, reintroduced* Root’s mood in five words* What becomes of this useless Congress?* Why not 9–0? Root on the three dissenters * The “major questions doctrine” translated* Profiles in inconsistenty* Doesn’t matter! Trump will “destroy your country” either way!* The hangover* Gorsu…

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66:33

Ambiguity in the Age of Outrage (w/ Jon Meacham) - #545

The Fifth Column ·

2026/02/19

-The dork Star Wars cantina of famous biographers-Jefferson’s hypocrisy and the impossibility of paragon standards-Lincoln was not an abolitionist-The Howard Zinnification of American history-Ambiguity as the ideological propagandist’s mortal enemy-The true (New Testament) saint of America-George H.W. Bush’s blunt admission-This president would cut your throat for a vote, then be the first to call 911-Exhaustion as a strategy, and the establishment’s failure to meet the moment-Autocratic narcissism

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21:58

Voodoo Socialism and the $3 Million Rainy Day Fund w/...

The Fifth Column ·

2026/02/17

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com-Please say hello to our new Sunset Park neighbor-The American Chávez -The Nobel Prize Grudge-The Dictatorship That Remained-Political Pilgrims and Failed Experiments-Maria the Maid and the, “Gay Marriage Lady” slur-A Masterclass in Macro-Failure-The Media Pioneer-The Illusion of Democracy-Economic Voodoo-The “Police” StrategyGet William’s book, Things …

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23:45

The Revolutionaries (w/ Robert Sullivan) - #4

The Fifth Column ·

2026/02/13

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.comFor Christmas 2024, I was gifted Robert Sullivan’s delightful My American Revolution: A Modern Expedition Through History’s Forgotten Battlegrounds. I devoured it within 24 hours. It is no exaggeration to say that the book is responsible as anything else for this little Semiquincetennial miniseries you are (hopefully!) enjoying.As you will hear in this …

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80:45

The Great American Mustache Ride (w/ John Bolton) - #544

The Fifth Column ·

2026/02/12

-John Bolton, Olympic Curling Hawk-Arguing with the 60s Since 1970-I’m kind of a Libertarian (Minus the Defense Part)-Iraq was actually kind of perfect-Federalist Papers as Foreign Aid (or maybe porn would suffice)-The Arab Spring Brain-Break-Afghanistan is Not Exactly a Nation-Regime Change, Case-by-Case-The Forward Defense of New Jersey-Ukraine and the Gray Zone Trap-The Nuclear Press Release-Tucker Carlson wants you to be scared of this man-Trump’s Real Estate Foreign Policy-The Face of the

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13:31

One Hitter- Senator Rand Paul is Lonely (Members Only...

The Fifth Column ·

2026/02/10

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com-The Invertebrate Caucus-The New Tax Party-Ruby Ridge and Waco Redux-The Last Man Standing-The Crypto Appearance Problem-Government as a Mob Vig-The Fairness Trap-The Colombia Save, or how Rand prevented a military escalation by sending a quick text message to the President.-Epstein Transparency Collateral-Is Trump still “the best president of his lifet…

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27:07

Who's Afraid of The Big Bad Bunny? (Members Only #300)

The Fifth Column ·

2026/02/10

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.comA deeply serious and important conversation over some listener-provided Scotch about the Super Bowl halftime show(s), the death of ad copywriting, dunking in the WNBA, pond skating, and the other Moynihan Report.•Oh good, Kmele started drinking early•About that game…•The horrible stereotypes in that halftime show•He bangs•The Canadian caravan•Malfunctio…

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95:34

Let's Rally Together and Unfuck America (w/ John...

The Fifth Column ·

2026/02/05

John Avlon stops by only to learn he’s also in the Epstein files, why the Daily Beast should’ve sold dick pills, and why we need to rebuild guardrails on what some call “stolen land”* Where John is surprised to learn he’s in the Epstein files and suddenly remembers he has plans not to be here* The Ceaușescu of Long Beach * Moynihan actually voted for this guy!* Georgia, the FBI, and the Trump 2.0 purity test industrial complex* Asking for a friend who keeps wondering, “are US elections legit?”* This

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26:34

Triumph of the Grift (Members Only #299)

The Fifth Column ·

2026/02/03

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com• Moynihan and Welch are in the Epstein files• A very indiscriminate and humiliating dump• Bannon & Epstein• Black boxes over kids, and the express train to Satanic Panic• Embarrassment is no reason• Moynihan’s Melania Review• Billie Jean is not my brother, but Jimmy Carter is my mother• That’s an awfully small ring to kiss for such a wealthy man• Move …

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11:50

The Revolutionaries (w/ Bill Schulz) - #3

The Fifth Column ·

2026/01/30

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.comWhat if you’re just … born wrong? (No, I don’t mean the darling little girl to the right.)You may know Bill Schulz through his years toiling as Greg Gutfeld’s “repulsive sidekick” on ye olde Fox News late-nite WTF show Red Eye (on which all of your co-hosts, and several of our guests, got some valuable reps back in the day). You may know Bill through hi…

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86:51

Enthusiastic Armadas, Armenian Bakeries, Ye’s Apology...

The Fifth Column ·

2026/01/29

-The NYC Rolling Hobo Express-An Enthusiastic Armada Full of Speed and Violence-Iranian Death Toll Discourse and Roger Waters Still Sucks-The Donroe Doctrine and the Near Abroad Dodge-Everyone’s Favorite Powder Keg-A Norwegian, A Rat Bag, and a Lunatic-A disgusting thing to say-Noem’s Bellebolent Hypotheticals-Stephen Miller’s Basement Lotions and the Little Rogaine Carpet-Fingerers, Reach-Arounds, and Reaganite as a Slur-Anne Cool-ter-Fuck You Jonathan-Mehmet Oz, P.I.-Ye’s apology ad and the

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16:25

TACO Tuesday in Minneapolis and the Fall of the Short...

The Fifth Column ·

2026/01/27

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com-A huge TACO Tuesday-Survival of the Spineless-Low-level insurgency infrastructure-Astroturf panic and the suspicious run to Walgreens-The problem with punching Nazis-Walz and Trump finally talk-Fuck you, Ted-The Great American Slur Revival-Short king Bovino and the self-inflicted smoke bomb-Democracy Dies in Payroll-World’s Biggest Russophobe Longs for…

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16:48

One Hitter: Another ICE Shooting In Minneapolis with...

The Fifth Column ·

2026/01/24

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.comOne topic in the news. One quick podcast on that single topic (rather than just texting each other about how certain media figures are vulgar, stupid, and morally depraved). Welcome back to the Fifth Column One Hitter! In the hours after ICE shot and killed Alex Pretti, we gathered at the studio to sit down with Peter Moskos: former police officer, current John Jay…

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108:17

Trump Would Do Anything For Greenland (But He Won't...

The Fifth Column ·

2026/01/22

•Don Does Davos•I Would Do Anything for Greenland (But I Won’t Do That)•Even MAGA Thought the Norway Text Was Fake News•The Danes’ Historical Resistance to Fascism•A Lament for the Belgian Congo•Cutting a Greenland Cake, and the Epidemic of Stupidity•Who the Fuck Is “We”?•Congress Could Do Something That Isn’t Impeachment•Shame Doesn’t Work•Past the Point of Passivity•Punching a Transtifa Baby•Macron and Those Beautiful Sunglasses•Carney Invokes Václav Havel: Rupture, Not Transition•Middle Powers,

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