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PODCAST

NonCensored

You can’t say anything any more - and here to prove it is Harriet Langley-Swindon, with a round of all the best bits of her weekly radio show on a national network that can’t be named for legal reasons. Absolutely Non-Censored [subs please check capitalisation and hyphen] from beginning to end, with all the rubbish edited out.Each week, Harriet will chat through the segments with producer Martin, and we’ll be getting a Hot & Spicy Take Of The Week from resident comedian Eshaan Akbar who was hired

comedy improv

All Episodes

46:36

Cheesin' Up Christmas

NonCensored ·

2025/12/19

In this end of year special, Harriet Langley-Swindon and Producer Martin "unwrap" (play) some "presents" (voicenotes) from regular contributors Sir Keir Starmer, the Telegraph's Siobhan Connery, Lord Evans, General Dick Terrific of the 3rd US Airborne Tariff Division, chair man Jonathan Gullis and royal correspondent Nicola Witchell and her spiritual companion The Ghost Of Princess Diana.Our Patreons will also hear an interview with a Non-Ethical Non-Monogamist - but you can only hear or see that by

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48:33

Total Victory!

NonCensored ·

2025/12/12

Harriet Langley-Swindon and Producer Martin speak to Scottish Correspondent Nicola Cromerty about Sandie Peggie's complete and total victory over NHS Fife; we hear from the man behind the Great British Railways rebrand about his fast-moving flags; and Eshaan Akbar has a Hot & Spicy Takeaway Of The Week about truth - or does he? We've also thrown in last year's interview with Spotify's Daniel Elk about how Wrapped works as a little Christmas bonus for you.Thanks to Priya for singing up to our

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38:53

Time For Questions - October 2025

NonCensored ·

2025/12/05

There's no regular show this week, so here's the Time For Questions we made for our Patreons a few weeks ago, where Harriet, Producer Martin and Eshaan Akbar we answer our Patreons' questions:What would you like to apologise for saying at school?Which British politicians could rizz up Donald Trump?Is Die Hard a "Christmas movie"?...and more!To see the episode in full video, as well as to unlock all the other bonuses you get every week, head over to Patreon.com/NonCensored and sign up for £5 or

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36:53

Communismsplaining Rachel Reeves

NonCensored ·

2025/11/28

Harriet Langley-Swindon and Producer Martin speak to Chancellor Rachel Reeves about the similarities between this week's budget and the Communist Manifesto; Producer Martin goes undercover to expose two members of the House Of Lords who are willing to lobby - and more - for cash; Eshaan Akbar asks if Marjorie Taylor Green... is Woke?Thanks to Jon Blyth for singing up to our Patreon this week. He, like all our Patreons, will also hear an interview with a man who suffers from Replytis, a devastating

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38:15

Shabana Mahmood's Crystal Maze

NonCensored ·

2025/11/21

Harriet Langley-Swindon and Producer Martin speak to Home Secretary Shabana Mahmood about her controversial new policies for asylum seekers; Larry Summers joins us to explain why he was asking Jeffrey Epstein for dating advice; and if music be the food of love, Eshaan Akbar has a Hot & Spicy Takeaway Of The Week about how it can also be the snack of anti-terrorism.Patreons will also hear an interview with the host of the Historical Numerology Podcast, Kevin Kisskiss - but you can only hear that

en

38:25

Bluey In The Ducking Stool

NonCensored ·

2025/11/14

Harriet Langley-Swindon and Producer Martin speak to BBC Wokefinder General Robbie Gibb, who explains how he's de-woking the corporation; meanwhile, formerBBC journalist Helen Helen tells us how she was forced out of her job for holding perfectly legal beliefs about who should and shouldn't get her coffee; and Eshaan Akbar has a Hot & Spicy Takeaway Of The Week about how The Big Apple has turned into The Halal Apple.Patreons will also hear an interview an anonymous advisor to Sir Keir Starmer -

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34:07

Bonfire Of Inanity

NonCensored ·

2025/11/05

Harriet Langley-Swindon and Producer Martin present an Bonfire Night Special edition of NonCensored - the annual celebration of the foiling of the Gunpowder Plot. We speak to Yorkshire's very own failed terrorist Guy Fawkes, who talks about why he tried to blow up Parliament and how he views his legacy, and William Wade, the Lieutenant of the Tower of London 1613-1615, about Guy's interrogation experience. And of course, Eshaan Akbar is here, with a Hot & Spicy Takeaway of the Week that

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34:23

All The Rage: The Anger Special

NonCensored ·

2025/10/31

Harriet Langley-Swindon and Producer Martin present an "anger special", as they speak to NonCensored's very own social media editor Benjamin Closetabs about how and why he makes the clips you see on TikTok and Instagram; The Telegraph's Northern Correspondent Siobhan Connery returns to the show, live from X: The Everything App, to update us on the imminent civil war; and Eshaan Akbar rates the non-apologies for Reform MP Sarah Pochin's comments about seeing non-white faces in adverts.THEY don't want

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1:22:13

The Big One Five Oh

NonCensored ·

2025/10/24

Harriet Langley-Swindon takes a look back at some of the highlights of the first 150 episodes of NonCensored, as selected by our Patreons. Yes, we said "first" 150 episodes. Consider that a warning AND a promise.Featuring: Sir Keir Starmer, Nadine Dorries & Ben Houchen, Jonathan Gullis, South Central Thames Water CEO Sir Douglas Brown, publisher Helen Penguin, disggraced celebrity chef Craigg Rommit, billionaire bio-hacker Hersh Ravensfold, Dr Shola Mos-Shogbamimu, Rachel Parris, and Royal

en

42:00

Donald Trump: Peace Artist

NonCensored ·

2025/10/17

Harriet Langley-Swindon and Producer Martin celebrate Donald Trump's inevitable Nobel Peace Prize win by checking in with NonCensored's network of foreign correspondents to see how his peacemaking ability is viewed around the world; we hear from former Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher on the allegations that she was no Iron Lady; and Eshaan Akbar has an aitch oh tee ay en dee es pee aye see why take about English.If you don't fill in this survey, we will be sad:

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35:32

Make Britian Grate Again

NonCensored ·

2025/10/10

Harriet Langley-Swindon and Producer Martin are joined by Kemi Badenoch, who explains what she means by "integration"; we hear from Ethan Jablowski, from Kent's version DOGE, on how it's going now that Reform are in control of the council there; and Eshaan Akbar has a Hot & Spicy take about how to make animals more patrotic.If you don't fill in this survey, we will be sad: http://bit.ly/noncensored-surveySign up to our Patreon at Patreon.com/NonCensored to receive every episode early and without

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34:37

If You Want To Be British, Speak Better Than A Brummie

NonCensored ·

2025/10/02

Harriet Langley-Swindon and Producer Martin are joined by Home Secretary Shabana Mahmood, who explains the new requirements for migrants seeking leave to remain in the UK; Eshaan Akbar has a Hot & Spicy take about the masculinity needed for modern warfare; and the agent of an AI actor, Sylvie Tootoo, explains why actors and improvisers are awful and need to be replaced.If you don't fill in this survey, the terrorists have won: http://bit.ly/noncensored-surveySign up to our Patreon at

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38:40

The Possibility Of A Paddle

NonCensored ·

2025/09/26

Harriet Langley-Swindon and Producer Martin are joined by Sir Ed Davey, who explains why the Lib Dems have moved beyond silly, fun stunts, into impassioned liberal politics; we interview A Swan about the rumours that they are being eaten by asylum seekers; and Eshaan Akbar has a Hot & Spicy take about going to Saudi Arabia to do stand-up.If you don't fill in this survey, the terrorists have won: http://bit.ly/noncensored-surveyThank you to Stuart Pomfrett, who signed up to our Patreon last week

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44:38

An Absolute State Visit

NonCensored ·

2025/09/19

Harriet Langley-Swindon and Producer Martin are joined by Phyllida Pomp, the events planner who arranged President Trump's historic second state visit; we speak to to a member of the Free Speech Union, Harold Spock, for their reaction to Jimmy Kimmel being taken off the air; and Eshaan Akbar reports live from the Unite The Kingdom march.If you don't fill in this survey, the terrorists have won: http://bit.ly/noncensored-surveyThank you to Kevin Worrall, who signed up to our Patreon last week at

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34:48

The Future Of Politics: 10am Sambuca Shots

NonCensored ·

2025/09/12

Harriet Langley-Swindon and Producer Martin are joined by Sir Steven Belm, the civil servant who provided David Lammy with official advice about genocide; Eshaan Akbar's has a Hot & Spicy Takeaway of the Week about the National Television Awards; and Political Editor Chris Builder looks back at last week's Reform Party conference - or, at least, what he can remember about it!If you don't fill in this survey, the terrorists have won: http://bit.ly/noncensored-surveyThank you to Gerry O'Boyle, who

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36:21

We Know What You Flagged Last Flagger

NonCensored ·

2025/09/05

Harriet Langley-Swindon and Producer Martin are joined by Sir Keir Starmer, who explains how he's going to "deliver, deliver, deliver" on his love of flags; new Green Party leader Zach Polanski tells us about the Party's new direction; and Eshaan Akbar's Hot & Spicy Takeaway of the Week is about how the cost of living crisis is affecting crime.If you don't fill in this survey, the terrorists have won: http://bit.ly/noncensored-surveyThank you to Izzy, Dev Preston, Martyn, Toronto Will, Tim

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28:26

Hot Epstein Summer

NonCensored ·

2025/07/18

Harriet Langley-Swindon, Producer Martin and Diversity Correspondent Eshaan Akbar take a look ahead to the summer, as the the podcast prepares to take a break until September.How many MPs will Reform have when we return?Who would YOU like to see on the Epstein List?What will we be using AI for this summer?And much, much more.If you don't fill in this survey, the terrorists have won: http://bit.ly/noncensored-surveySign up to support us at Patreon.com/NonCensored and you'll receive every episode

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39:55

The Truth Isn't The Truth, The Truth Is A Lie Truth

NonCensored ·

2025/07/11

Harriet Langley-Swindon and Producer Martin are joined by disggraced celebrity chef Craigg Rommit, who gives his first interview since being fired by the BBC; the publisher of The Salt Path, Helen Penguin, explains how the book got published the way it is; and Eshaan Akbar's Hot & Spicy Takeaway of the Week is about Keir Starmer having a "no spray, no lay" policy.If you don't fill in this survey, the terrorists have won: http://bit.ly/noncensored-surveySign up to support us at

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38:26

Notey McNoteface

NonCensored ·

2025/07/04

Harriet Langley-Swindon and Producer Martin are joined by Labour MP for Constituencyshire Central, Ben Bland, who talks about why he almost rebelled on the Social Care Bill this week; a disappointed festival-goer, Susanna, tells us how politics ruined Glastonbury for her and Eshaan Akbar's Hot & Spicy Takeaway of the Week is about the Bank of England's plans to redesign British bank notes.Ben will put one animal down every hour, on the hour, until you've all filled in this survey:

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45:00

Daddy Issues

NonCensored ·

2025/06/27

Harriet Langley-Swindon and AI Producer Martin are joined by NATO Secretary General Mark Rutte, who talks about his relationship with Donald Trump; former academic Professor Godfrey Matthews tells us how London has fallen; and Eshaan Akbar has a Hot & Spicy Take about New York City's mayoral election primary. Meanwhile, Producer Martin sends some roving reports from Glastonbury.It would help us enormously if you were to fill out this survey: http://bit.ly/noncensored-surveyThank you to Victoria,

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