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PODCAST

NonCensored

You can’t say anything any more - and here to prove it is Harriet Langley-Swindon, with a round of all the best bits of her weekly radio show on a national network that can’t be named for legal reasons. Absolutely Non-Censored [subs please check capitalisation and hyphen] from beginning to end, with all the rubbish edited out.Each week, Harriet will chat through the segments with producer Martin, and we’ll be getting a Hot & Spicy Take Of The Week from resident comedian Eshaan Akbar who was hired

comedy improv

All Episodes

36:28

This Debate Is Bangor Out Of Order

NonCensored ·

2026/02/13

Harriet Langley-Swindon and Producer Martin speak to former Number 10 Chief of Staff Morgan McSweeney about why he quit Downing Street; we also hear from Health Secretary Wes Streeting about what how he isn't friends with Peter Mandelson; and Eshaan Akbar has a very debatable Hot & Spicy Takeaway Of The Week.Thank you to Lukas Bell-Dereske for signing up to our Patreon this week. He's making it possible for us to pay our guests, because lord knows the ad revenue doesn't cover that. This week he

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34:29

Unlike Certain Other Podcasts, We Are Not In The...

NonCensored ·

2026/02/06

Harriet Langley-Swindon and Producer Martin speak to Dead Paeodophile Correspondent Eshaan Akbar for a look at who isn't in the Epstein files; we also hear from Lord Bertie Cuthbert on why having a law that kicks you out of the House of Lords if you're mates with a convicted sex trafficker is "going too far"; and the policeman in charge of investigating the former Andrew Former Mountbatten Former Windsor, PC Bob Hancock, is having a really tough time, guys.Our Patreons will also get an interview

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38:34

Like A Bull In A China Embassy

NonCensored ·

2026/01/30

Harriet Langley-Swindon and Producer Martin speak to Chinese government spokeswoman Blank Peng about how Sir Keir Starmer's trip is going; Skeletor explains why he's defected to Reform; and Deputy Diversity Correspondent Athena Kugblenu dives in with a Hot & Spicy Takeaway Of The Week about Hampstead Ponds.Our Patreons will also get an interview with the woman behind TikTok's algorithm, Poppy Ticktock, which will never appear on the main feed. They will also get every episode early and without

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34:18

Baby Bear Diplomacy

NonCensored ·

2026/01/23

Harriet Langley-Swindon and Producer Martin speak to Britain's most patriotic columnist, The Daily Telegraph's Tim Quisling about what's just right for American is just great for Britain; Royal Correspondent Nicola Witchell updates us on the feud that's tearing apart Britain's most famous family; and Eshaan Akbar has a Hot & Spicy Takeaway Of The Week about, well, a load of crap...Thanks to Charlotte Skardon, who signed up to our Patreon this week. She, like all our Patreons, got this episode

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35:36

Grokblocked

NonCensored ·

2026/01/16

Harriet Langley-Swindon and Producer Martin speak to AI Producer Martin, who now works for Grok, about what's going on at X: The Everything App; we speak to the third-shortest-serving Chancellor in British history, Nadhim Zahawi, about how he definitely didn't ask for a peerage; and Eshaan Akbar has a Hot & Spicy Takeaway Of The Week about repressive regimes - but only after a surprise ApologyWatch....Thanks to Grace Thomas, who signed up to our Patreon this week. She, like all our Patreons,

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37:18

A Bad Man, Not A Badman

NonCensored ·

2026/01/09

Harriet Langley-Swindon and Producer Martin speak to Latin American Correspondent Jeremy Byrne about the reaction on the streets of Caracas to Donald Trump's liberation of Venezuela; we also get an immediate reaction on that, as well as America's plans for Greenland, from Sir Keir Starmer; and Eshaan Akbar has a Warm & Cuddly Takeaway Of The Week about ZSL's 200th anniversary stocktake.Our Patreons will also hear an interview with an AI Actress - but you can only hear that by going to

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46:36

Cheesin' Up Christmas

NonCensored ·

2025/12/19

In this end of year special, Harriet Langley-Swindon and Producer Martin "unwrap" (play) some "presents" (voicenotes) from regular contributors Sir Keir Starmer, the Telegraph's Siobhan Connery, Lord Evans, General Dick Terrific of the 3rd US Airborne Tariff Division, chair man Jonathan Gullis and royal correspondent Nicola Witchell and her spiritual companion The Ghost Of Princess Diana.Our Patreons will also hear an interview with a Non-Ethical Non-Monogamist - but you can only hear or see that by

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48:33

Total Victory!

NonCensored ·

2025/12/12

Harriet Langley-Swindon and Producer Martin speak to Scottish Correspondent Nicola Cromerty about Sandie Peggie's complete and total victory over NHS Fife; we hear from the man behind the Great British Railways rebrand about his fast-moving flags; and Eshaan Akbar has a Hot & Spicy Takeaway Of The Week about truth - or does he? We've also thrown in last year's interview with Spotify's Daniel Elk about how Wrapped works as a little Christmas bonus for you.Thanks to Priya for singing up to our

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38:53

Time For Questions - October 2025

NonCensored ·

2025/12/05

There's no regular show this week, so here's the Time For Questions we made for our Patreons a few weeks ago, where Harriet, Producer Martin and Eshaan Akbar we answer our Patreons' questions:What would you like to apologise for saying at school?Which British politicians could rizz up Donald Trump?Is Die Hard a "Christmas movie"?...and more!To see the episode in full video, as well as to unlock all the other bonuses you get every week, head over to Patreon.com/NonCensored and sign up for £5 or

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36:53

Communismsplaining Rachel Reeves

NonCensored ·

2025/11/28

Harriet Langley-Swindon and Producer Martin speak to Chancellor Rachel Reeves about the similarities between this week's budget and the Communist Manifesto; Producer Martin goes undercover to expose two members of the House Of Lords who are willing to lobby - and more - for cash; Eshaan Akbar asks if Marjorie Taylor Green... is Woke?Thanks to Jon Blyth for singing up to our Patreon this week. He, like all our Patreons, will also hear an interview with a man who suffers from Replytis, a devastating

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38:15

Shabana Mahmood's Crystal Maze

NonCensored ·

2025/11/21

Harriet Langley-Swindon and Producer Martin speak to Home Secretary Shabana Mahmood about her controversial new policies for asylum seekers; Larry Summers joins us to explain why he was asking Jeffrey Epstein for dating advice; and if music be the food of love, Eshaan Akbar has a Hot & Spicy Takeaway Of The Week about how it can also be the snack of anti-terrorism.Patreons will also hear an interview with the host of the Historical Numerology Podcast, Kevin Kisskiss - but you can only hear that

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38:25

Bluey In The Ducking Stool

NonCensored ·

2025/11/14

Harriet Langley-Swindon and Producer Martin speak to BBC Wokefinder General Robbie Gibb, who explains how he's de-woking the corporation; meanwhile, formerBBC journalist Helen Helen tells us how she was forced out of her job for holding perfectly legal beliefs about who should and shouldn't get her coffee; and Eshaan Akbar has a Hot & Spicy Takeaway Of The Week about how The Big Apple has turned into The Halal Apple.Patreons will also hear an interview an anonymous advisor to Sir Keir Starmer -

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34:07

Bonfire Of Inanity

NonCensored ·

2025/11/05

Harriet Langley-Swindon and Producer Martin present an Bonfire Night Special edition of NonCensored - the annual celebration of the foiling of the Gunpowder Plot. We speak to Yorkshire's very own failed terrorist Guy Fawkes, who talks about why he tried to blow up Parliament and how he views his legacy, and William Wade, the Lieutenant of the Tower of London 1613-1615, about Guy's interrogation experience. And of course, Eshaan Akbar is here, with a Hot & Spicy Takeaway of the Week that

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34:23

All The Rage: The Anger Special

NonCensored ·

2025/10/31

Harriet Langley-Swindon and Producer Martin present an "anger special", as they speak to NonCensored's very own social media editor Benjamin Closetabs about how and why he makes the clips you see on TikTok and Instagram; The Telegraph's Northern Correspondent Siobhan Connery returns to the show, live from X: The Everything App, to update us on the imminent civil war; and Eshaan Akbar rates the non-apologies for Reform MP Sarah Pochin's comments about seeing non-white faces in adverts.THEY don't want

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1:22:13

The Big One Five Oh

NonCensored ·

2025/10/24

Harriet Langley-Swindon takes a look back at some of the highlights of the first 150 episodes of NonCensored, as selected by our Patreons. Yes, we said "first" 150 episodes. Consider that a warning AND a promise.Featuring: Sir Keir Starmer, Nadine Dorries & Ben Houchen, Jonathan Gullis, South Central Thames Water CEO Sir Douglas Brown, publisher Helen Penguin, disggraced celebrity chef Craigg Rommit, billionaire bio-hacker Hersh Ravensfold, Dr Shola Mos-Shogbamimu, Rachel Parris, and Royal

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42:00

Donald Trump: Peace Artist

NonCensored ·

2025/10/17

Harriet Langley-Swindon and Producer Martin celebrate Donald Trump's inevitable Nobel Peace Prize win by checking in with NonCensored's network of foreign correspondents to see how his peacemaking ability is viewed around the world; we hear from former Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher on the allegations that she was no Iron Lady; and Eshaan Akbar has an aitch oh tee ay en dee es pee aye see why take about English.If you don't fill in this survey, we will be sad:

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35:32

Make Britian Grate Again

NonCensored ·

2025/10/10

Harriet Langley-Swindon and Producer Martin are joined by Kemi Badenoch, who explains what she means by "integration"; we hear from Ethan Jablowski, from Kent's version DOGE, on how it's going now that Reform are in control of the council there; and Eshaan Akbar has a Hot & Spicy take about how to make animals more patrotic.If you don't fill in this survey, we will be sad: http://bit.ly/noncensored-surveySign up to our Patreon at Patreon.com/NonCensored to receive every episode early and without

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34:37

If You Want To Be British, Speak Better Than A Brummie

NonCensored ·

2025/10/02

Harriet Langley-Swindon and Producer Martin are joined by Home Secretary Shabana Mahmood, who explains the new requirements for migrants seeking leave to remain in the UK; Eshaan Akbar has a Hot & Spicy take about the masculinity needed for modern warfare; and the agent of an AI actor, Sylvie Tootoo, explains why actors and improvisers are awful and need to be replaced.If you don't fill in this survey, the terrorists have won: http://bit.ly/noncensored-surveySign up to our Patreon at

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38:40

The Possibility Of A Paddle

NonCensored ·

2025/09/26

Harriet Langley-Swindon and Producer Martin are joined by Sir Ed Davey, who explains why the Lib Dems have moved beyond silly, fun stunts, into impassioned liberal politics; we interview A Swan about the rumours that they are being eaten by asylum seekers; and Eshaan Akbar has a Hot & Spicy take about going to Saudi Arabia to do stand-up.If you don't fill in this survey, the terrorists have won: http://bit.ly/noncensored-surveyThank you to Stuart Pomfrett, who signed up to our Patreon last week

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44:38

An Absolute State Visit

NonCensored ·

2025/09/19

Harriet Langley-Swindon and Producer Martin are joined by Phyllida Pomp, the events planner who arranged President Trump's historic second state visit; we speak to to a member of the Free Speech Union, Harold Spock, for their reaction to Jimmy Kimmel being taken off the air; and Eshaan Akbar reports live from the Unite The Kingdom march.If you don't fill in this survey, the terrorists have won: http://bit.ly/noncensored-surveyThank you to Kevin Worrall, who signed up to our Patreon last week at

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