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PODCAST

The Most Important Thing: Exploring Family Culture and Leadership at Home

Danielle and Greg Neufeld

Don"t just parent. Lead. The Most Important Thing is a podcast about building intentional family culture. We explore how ambitious, busy families can create connection, meaning, and resilience at home—just as intentionally as they do in other aspects of life. Each episode blends personal stories, research, and experiments you can try in your own family. Because when the world is moving fast, the most important thing is what we build at home. Hosts: Danielle and Greg Neufeld

kids & family parenting

All Episodes

00:39:01

TMIT 40: Why Your Family Needs a Landline (It's Not...

The Most Important Thing: Exploring Family Culture... ·

2025/12/15

We often blame the phone for stealing childhood. But what if the issue isn't just the presence of the smartphone, but the absence of the landline?When the landline died, we lost a major opportunity for growth. We lost the environment where kids learned to organize their own social lives and navigate awkward conversations with intermediaries (“Hi Mrs. Neufeld, is Greg home?”). Perhaps most importantly, we lost the practice of "cognitive patience": the ability to just sit and listen to a

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00:42:56

TMIT 39: Family AI – The Tools We're Using to...

The Most Important Thing: Exploring Family Culture... ·

2025/12/08

We did something that sounds crazy: We gave our 8-year-old an iPhone 15 Pro. But there is a strategy behind the screen.In this episode, we are exploring a new frontier: Family AI. We believe this is a pivotal moment where parents can either fear the technology or learn to lead with it. Our goal? To shift from being a "consumer family" (passive scrolling) to a "creator family" (active building).We break down our personal framework for using AI at home—The 3 C’s: Clarify, Coach, and Create.In this

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00:40:56

TMIT 38: Choose Guilt Over Resentment (Boundaries...

The Most Important Thing: Exploring Family Culture... ·

2025/12/01

This week on The Most Important Thing, we start with a new family favorite game (Sardines 🐟) and end up somewhere much deeper: authority — what it means to claim it as adults and how to submit to it without losing ourselves.In this episode, we explore: Claiming authority (“adulting”) Moving out of “please the group” mode into values-aligned choices for our family Boundaries 2.0: revisiting decisions we made in survival mode Trusting our intuition and setting boundaries without

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00:35:05

TMIT 37: Disagree and Commit – How Families Can Fight...

The Most Important Thing: Exploring Family Culture... ·

2025/11/24

In this episode of The Most Important Thing, we dive into why mastering “the art of disagreeing” is essential for building a resilient family culture and why the phrase “agree to disagree” is officially off-limits in the Neufeld household.Using insights from psychological safety research, Amazon’s “disagree and commit” philosophy, and our own experiences navigating our kids’ contrasting approaches to conflict, we explore how families can embrace disagreement without sacrificing connection or

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00:32:18

TMIT 36: Breaking The Rules Together – Harnessing...

The Most Important Thing: Exploring Family Culture... ·

2025/11/17

This week, we’re exploring an unexpected (but so necessary!) aspect of family dynamics: trickster energy—a playful, inventive, and boundary-testing spirit that helps us stay adaptable when life feels too rigid.The episode kicks off with a relatable parenting challenge:Maverick dreams of riding the roller coasters at Legoland for his 4th birthday, but he’s an inch too short to meet the height requirements. Do you stick to the rules? Cross your fingers for leniency? Or come up with a creative

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00:34:00

TMIT 35: Don’t Tell Me To Calm Down – Turning Anger...

The Most Important Thing: Exploring Family Culture... ·

2025/11/10

If we’re serious about building resilient family culture, we have to talk about the emotions that actually show up in real homes — and anger is a big one.For both of us, anger has been tricky. We’ve tried to calm it, redirect it, send it to its room… but we hadn’t really named its purpose. So we started asking: What can anger teach us? And how can we work with it instead of against it?In this episode, we explore: Why anger shows up so fast — especially in families with young kids Brené Brown’s idea

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00:36:34

TMIT 34: “Read the Room, Kid!” — Cultivating...

The Most Important Thing: Exploring Family Culture... ·

2025/11/03

Envy isn’t a character flaw—it’s human. Shrewdness isn’t cynicism—it’s discernment. In this episode, we explore how to normalize envy and develop the important skill of “reading the room,” so both kids and adults can stay kind while staying protected in real-world situations.Here’s What We Dive Into Why it’s important to explore the more complex parts of family culture While joy, connection, and kindness are essential, building resilience and wisdom means being willing to take a closer look at the

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00:27:36

TMIT 33: Our Biggest Takeaways from Six Months of...

The Most Important Thing: Exploring Family Culture... ·

2025/10/27

For the past six months we’ve been deeply studying family culture, and we’re more convicted than ever that it’s The Most Important Thing.Top 4 Takeaways Start from strength, not scarcity Most parenting content starts from a place of deficit. We’re choosing a competence-first lens: you’re already doing a lot right—lean into those moments. Parenting is management; family culture is leadership Scripts fix moments. Culture shapes momentum. Make values explicit and lead the team, not just each child

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00:55:06

TMIT 32: Cliff Weitzman, CEO of Speechify, on How...

The Most Important Thing: Exploring Family Culture... ·

2025/10/20

When you meet Cliff Weitzman, founder and CEO of Speechify, his magnetism is immediate. He knows exactly where he’s headed, and he’s willing to think harder and work smarter to get there. It’s the same energy that’s made Speechify the #1 text-to-speech app used by over 55 million people.But this episode isn’t about Speechify. It’s about the family that built him.Cliff grew up one of five siblings in a home fueled by ambition and unconditional love. His parents pushed the couches back on weekends for

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00:23:53

TMIT 31: The Collison Brothers (An Extra Ordinary...

The Most Important Thing: Exploring Family Culture... ·

2025/10/13

We’re kicking off a side quest called Extraordinary Families — stories of real families whose everyday cultural habits added up to something remarkable. This week, we’re diving into the upbringing of Patrick and John Collison, the Irish brothers who went on to found Stripe, one of the most successful fintech companies in the world. But this isn’t a story about money, luck, or talent; it’s a story about culture. Here’s what we explore: 1️⃣ The Paradox of Environment How the Collison boys grew up

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00:33:40

TMIT 30: Mindset Reset Part 2 – Building a Culture of...

The Most Important Thing: Exploring Family Culture... ·

2025/10/06

In the first part of our Mindset Reset series, we broke down common misconceptions about growth mindset and explored how it plays out in the everyday dynamics of family life.Now in Part 2, we’re taking things further by shifting the focus from the individual to the cultural level.Inspired by Mary Murphy’s Cultures of Growth, we dive into: How comparison, competition, and results-focused thinking lead to risk aversion and hiding mistakes A different approach: fostering an environment that normalizes

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00:48:42

TMIT 29: Mindset Reset – What We Get Wrong About...

The Most Important Thing: Exploring Family Culture... ·

2025/09/29

Mindset isn’t just “fixed” or “growth.” It’s a spectrum—and once you see that, you’ll understand yourself, your kids, and your family in a whole new way.In this episode of The Most Important Thing, we translate insights from Mary C. Murphy’s Cultures of Growth into family life. What starts as a book about organizations becomes a practical guide for leading your home with clarity and calm.What you’ll learn in this episode: Why everyone flips between fixed and growth mindsets depending on context The

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00:39:03

TMIT 28 : How We Divide, Conquer, and Connect – The...

The Most Important Thing: Exploring Family Culture... ·

2025/09/22

Every couple has to navigate how to divide responsibilities, whether it’s managing groceries, handling finances, or aligning on long-term goals. For us, the breakthrough happened when we shifted away from addressing everything on the fly and instead put a shared system in place to prioritize what matters most. What we’ve realized is that the specific system you use isn’t as important as simply having one. A system creates intentional spaces for conversations, moving them out of the daily

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00:35:55

TMIT 27: Parenting Gurus and the Business of Anxiety

The Most Important Thing: Exploring Family Culture... ·

2025/09/15

TMIT 27: Parenting Gurus and the Business of AnxietyThis week, we explore a topic that hits close to home and raises big questions: the booming industry of parenting advice and how it’s built on the back of your anxiety. But it doesn’t have to be this way. Parenting challenges don’t reflect failure; they reflect purpose. The hard stuff is what builds strong families.Here’s what we’re breaking down Why so much of today’s parenting advice feels rooted in fear How post-pandemic influencer culture plays

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00:38:11

TMIT 26: Sometimes Adults Suck – Leading Our Kids...

The Most Important Thing: Exploring Family Culture... ·

2025/09/08

🎙️ TMIT 26: Sometimes kids run into conflict with other kids. But sometimes kids run into conflict with grownups—teachers, coaches, camp counselors, even random adults in the community. And when that happens, most of us as parents want to swoop in and handle it ourselves.In this episode, we share a different path. One where we don’t jump in to solve the problem, but instead equip our kids to handle it directly. We call this leading from the bench, and it’s one of the best ways to help our kids grow

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00:53:48

Culture Eats Parenting for Breakfast

The Most Important Thing: Exploring Family Culture... ·

2025/09/01

TMIT 25 🎙: This week we’re talking about the difference between parenting and building family culture, using a framework from Scaling People by Claire Hughes Johnson. Parenting is a lot like management—it creates stability through routines and logistics. But building family culture is leadership. It’s about shaping values, vision, and identity.We share how this shift in language helped us better understand what we’re doing at home—and why it matters now more than ever.In this episode: Parenting =

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01:00:18

How to Build a Dopamine Moat Around Your Family

The Most Important Thing: Exploring Family Culture... ·

2025/08/25

TMIT 24🎙️: From sugar crashes to screen-time meltdowns—what’s really going on in our kids’ brains?In this episode, we unpack dopamine: the energy juice that fuels motivation (and sometimes chaos). We explore how to build a “dopamine moat” around your family—so your kids can develop resilience, focus, and joy in a world of instant gratification.We talk about:• Why the crash matters more than the high• How to flip the seesaw and earn your dopamine• Simple tools for building motivation and buffering

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00:26:38

Celebrating Girlhood with Tween Magazine Founder Mary...

The Most Important Thing: Exploring Family Culture... ·

2025/08/21

What happens when your 10-year-old asks for a magazine and you realize there is not a single one you feel good about handing her? That is the moment Mary Flenner faced, and it led to Tween Magazine.Mary is a mom of three girls, a longtime marketing and content writer, and the founding editor of a lifestyle magazine designed just for tweens. Instead of pushing girls to grow up too fast, Tween celebrates silliness, creativity, individuality, and the joy of being a kid.In this conversation, we talk

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00:13:36

Family Meetings (Re-Release)

The Most Important Thing: Exploring Family Culture... ·

2025/08/18

TMIT 01 🎙️: Our very first episode, now with video! (Spotify and YouTube only) “What works about the family meeting is that it’s a regularly scheduled time to draw attention to specific behaviors. If you don’t have a safe environment to discuss problems, any plan to improve your family will go nowhere." – David StarrWhat makes a weekly family meeting not just happen—but matter? In this episode, we kick off a conversation about one of the most recommended tools in family culture building. We

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00:26:09

Why We Started The Most Important Thing (The...

The Most Important Thing: Exploring Family Culture... ·

2025/08/11

Why We Started The Most Important Thing (The Backstory Episode)TMIT 23 🎙️ Every journey has a beginning, and this is ours. We recorded this episode a few days after 01 Family Meetings. We didn’t release it at the time because, well, it felt premature. But we also didn’t want to wait too long, so here we are.At the time, we really didn’t know where we were going but we did have a feeling: that family culture matters and more people will want to talk about it.In this conversation, we unpack the

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