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PODCAST

Refamulating

Refamulating is a podcast that celebrates different ways to make a family. A generation ago, most Americans were guided by the idea of the nuclear family: a mom, a dad, two kids, and a derpy dog. Many still have a family like this, and that’s great! But the numbers show it doesn"t represent the majority of American households. In fact, there is no one-size-fits-all for what a family should look like. We’re collectively reformulating our understanding of what makes a family in today’s world. We call

society & culture relationships

All Episodes

41:53

REFAM CHAT: A New Way To Freeze And Donate Your Eggs...

Refamulating ·

2025/08/26

Years ago, Lauren Makler was diagnosed and treated for a rare abdominal disease. Doctors told her her ovaries might not survive the surgeries she needed, so when she conceived her first child without any assistance, she was shocked. She took that feeling of having a baby despite the odds and turned it into her business, Cofertility. She wanted anyone who wanted kids to have access to fertility technology, and not let cost stand in their way. People who freeze their eggs with Cofertility don’t have

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36:41

REFAM CHAT: How We’re Re-examining Wedding Traditions

Refamulating ·

2025/07/29

Julia and Claire are both getting married this year (cute!) and the wedding planning process has opened up new refamulating questions for them: who do we include in the celebration? What traditions are important and what do we want to ditch? And what is the best way to take back a wedding invite to all of your extended family (we have tips)!And then they reminisce on Claire’s recent bachelorette party in the woods where everyone talked about their feelings and cried. (And why this was the

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47:52

REFAM CHAT: How To Find Your People (And Community)...

Refamulating ·

2025/06/24

For a lot of Americans, it’s getting harder and harder to find community. Fewer people are religious, we move around more and with more things online, we spend less time running errands and interacting with people in real life. In this Refam Chat, Julia talks to Katherine Goldstein, author of the upcoming book "How to Find Your People" and creator of The Double Shift substack, which gives advice on how to cultivate an in person community. _ Additional Resources: Check out Katherine’s

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37:18

REFAM CHAT: It’s Okay To Put Friendship At The Center...

Refamulating ·

2025/05/27

Our culture spends a lot of time talking about the importance of romantic love: finding it, keeping it, and normalizing it as THE most important person in your life. But that completely discounts the deep, meaningful friendships so many of us have. In this Refam Chat, Julia talks with author Rhaina Cohen about her book The Other Significant Others: Reimagining Life With Friendship At The Center. Rhaina and Julia talk about the importance of friendship and how many people (including herself) are

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41:24

REFAM CHAT: Cracking ‘The Mother Code’ with author...

Refamulating ·

2025/04/22

When Ruthie Ackerman was in her late 30s, she realized she wanted to have a baby. But there was a problem- she was married to someone who didn’t. So, she got divorced and began a transformative process to motherhood. In this Refam Chat, Julia talks to Ruthie about her experience with IVF and egg donation to finally get pregnant, what it was like to confront the stories about motherhood she grew up with, and how she’s created a new definition of motherhood for herself and her daughter._ Pre-order

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52:10

20 I Refriendulating: A celebration of platonic...

Refamulating ·

2025/03/11

To wrap season 2, we honor and celebrate the unsung heroes of our emotional lives—our closest friends. While we celebrate romantic milestones with parties and gifts, our friendships—often life's most enduring relationships—frequently go unhonored. In this episode, Julia shares an intimate conversation with her platonic soulmate, Lia, about what makes their friendship special and how they’ve stayed close through hard moments that could have separated them. _ The episode transcript can be found

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52:33

19 I Finding Peace with Parents Who Don't Fully...

Refamulating ·

2025/02/25

Show Notes: Disagreeing with your family is nothing new. But in the last decade, as politics and culture in the U.S. have become increasingly polarized, so have many of our families. Jedidiah Jenkins felt this kind of division in his family from a young age when he realized he was gay in an evangelical Christian home. Now an adult, Jedidiah has figured out how to maintain a loving, supportive relationship with his mother despite their ideological differences. In this episode, Jedidiah shares how

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48:50

18 I There’s Nothing Wrong With You! You’re Just Single

Refamulating ·

2025/02/11

Almost half of American adults are single, yet we still treat being unpartnered as a problem to solve. But being single is not better or worse than being in a relationship, it’s just a different experience. In this episode, Julia interviews her single friends about what they love about being single and how they navigate a world built for couples. Then she chats with author Glynnis MacNicol about challenging the narrative that women need to be partnered to be happy. Check out Glynnis MacNicol’s

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52:28

17 I Caregiving & Family Pt 2: The Realities of...

Refamulating ·

2025/01/28

Erica spent her childhood living with a disability and needing a lot of care from her mom. As an adult, she’s now the caretaker to two children with disabilities. In this episode, Erica talks about what she learned from her mom as a caregiver, the day to day realities of caring for children who need a lot of assistance and how that impacts her career, her marriage and her finances. Check out Erica’s newsletter at Caffeinated Caregivers. The song featuring Erica’s musical saw was Solar Eclipse by

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46:54

16 I Caregiving & Family Pt 1: What It's Really Like...

Refamulating ·

2025/01/21

In this episode we meet Kathleen Downes- a 31-year-old woman who lives with her parents and dog in New York. Kathleen has cerebral palsy, which means she needs constant care to do daily activities. Kathleen talks about the complicated relationship between care recipients and their families, the broken policies that force impossible choices, and the radical act of finding joy despite a system designed for isolation. _ The episode transcript can be found here. _ Connect with us: EMAIL:

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62:28

15 I Family Preservation in Foster Care: Building a...

Refamulating ·

2025/01/07

Aaliyah and Jamyla have three moms - their birth mother Nicole, their foster mom (soon to be adopted mom) Chalice, and Chalice's fiancée Rachel. Chalice and the girls met eight years ago when the girls needed a foster parent. In the eight years they’ve known each other, Aaliyah and Jamyla have learned how hearts can expand to love many parents in their blended family. _ The episode transcript can be found here. _ Subscribe to our newsletter for more refamulating! We write about how refamulating

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46:23

REFAM CHAT: Recognizing All Of Our Milestones

Refamulating ·

2024/12/26

Something we’ve realized while working on this project is that the nuclear family has infiltrated so much of our lives. (For example, housing in America is designed for a single, nuclear family.)Another example of that is what we consider milestones in our life. Think about it- the list of big milestones in our lives is fairly short: graduations, getting married, and having a kid. These are the events where we throw parties, send gifts, and put in a lot of effort to celebrate a loved one as they

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60:57

14 I The Single Greatest Choice: Embracing solo...

Refamulating ·

2024/12/10

Katie Bryan grew up in a nuclear family in Texas, and always dreamed her future family would include a doting husband, a beautiful house in the suburbs, and of course, children. She spent almost 20 years searching for the right partner so she could make this dream come true, but at 39 she was still single and child-free. That’s when she realized she didn’t have to wait for a husband, she could have a baby on her own. In this episode Katie shares her emotional journey of releasing the idea of what a

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36:20

REFAM CHAT: The name dilemma

Refamulating ·

2024/11/28

A lot of us refamulating have faced a similar challenge: as we choose a new path or carve out a different role in a family, we realize there is no name for us. A step-parent wants a more warm and loving name. An egg or sperm donor with an emotional tie to the family doesn’t want to be referred to by this clinical title. Or maybe a close friend plays an important role to your kids but isn’t technically an aunt or uncle. On this Refam Chat, Julia and Claire talk about their own struggle with names,

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60:03

13 I Don’t Tell Mom: Grieving the “living death” of...

Refamulating ·

2024/11/26

When Emily was a child, a family member abused her and told her to keep it a secret. She kept that secret until she was 34, but her family didn’t react well once she told the truth. Eventually Emily chose to stop talking to them, and in this episode she explains her choice to be estranged from her family and why estrangement has been important for her healing. - Join us for this month’s ReFamily Dinner, where we’re talking about navigating dysfunctional family dynamics. Our guest is therapist,

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53:48

12 I Reframing The American Dream (Pt 2): Communal...

Refamulating ·

2024/11/12

Show Notes: What happens when you expand beyond the nuclear family home? In this episode, we meet people who've chosen to share their daily lives with others in unconventional ways - from two married couples buying a house together to raise kids, to a man who's spent 14 years living on a hippie commune. Their stories challenge our assumptions about what makes a successful adult and show how living communally might be an antidote to America's epidemic of loneliness. Additional

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63:28

11 I Reframing The American Dream (Pt 1)

Refamulating ·

2024/11/12

The nuclear family has been held up as the ideal for generations, but it's actually a relatively recent invention. From college dorms to pandemic pods, some of our happiest moments come from living in community with others. So why do Americans cling to independence as a marker of success? In our Season 2 premiere, we explore how our individualistic lifestyle developed, what it's costing us, and how reimagining family structures could create a more connected future. Our guest is Dr. Kristen Ghodsee,

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40:20

REFAM CHAT: Love is in the air + Sister Wives

Refamulating ·

2024/11/05

Before season 2 officially starts Tuesday, Nov 12, Julia and Claire chat about a few things: Julia is officially a Fairy Godmother and shares an update (the twins are born! she's held them!) Claire is getting married, which has brought up a lot of refamulating feelings. And then we have a special segment where Claire, a reality TV junkie, makes Julia, a reality TV virgin, watch an episode of Sister Wives and talk about how they are refamulating. Listen to the season 2 trailer now! There's a

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4:30

Season 2 Trailer

Refamulating ·

2024/10/29

We're back with season 2 of Refamulating! We have more stories of personal and family transformation including being a solo mom by choice, how caregiving impacts families, polyamory and more. Season 2 launches November 12, 2024. _ Subscribe to our Substack for more refamulating! We write about how refamulating looks in our lives, share resources we’re using as we make this show and share special bonus content for paid subscribers. _ Connect with us: EMAIL:

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4:05

Curious about non-monogamy? Join us for the October...

Refamulating ·

2024/10/14

Each month we host a live, virtual event called The ReFamily Dinner! It's a way for us to connect with other refamulators outside of the podcast. This month’s ReFamily Dinner will feature a conversation with Heath Schechinger, a psychologist and co-founder of The Modern Family Institute, about ethical non-monogamy. Whether you're considering this lifestyle or simply curious to understand it better, this talk will provide insights into how non-monogamous relationships can be structured in healthy,

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33 results

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