In Bed with Science: a Sex Podcast

00:23:33

ADHD, Attention, and Why Orgasms Are Inconsistent

In Bed with Science: a Sex Podcast ·

2026/10/06

Around 20 to 30% of women struggle to orgasm during partnered sex. And while there are plenty of reasons that get talked about — relationship issues, technique, and types of sex — they don't necessarily explain why it's so inconsistent. Why sometimes you can come, sometimes you can't, and you can't for the life of you find the pattern.This week, I dig into a recent study that points to a factor most of us are barely looking at — and it might just be the missing piece.We explore:Why coming during

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00:22:09

Stop Trying to Recreate the Honeymoon Phase — Do This...

In Bed with Science: a Sex Podcast ·

2026/09/01

When couples have been together for years, boredom can start to feel like something you have to accept. You love each other, but somewhere along the way, you start wondering whether the spark left because your partner became boring — or because the relationship did.In this episode, I dig into a study on self-expansion that offers a solution to that bordeom: curiosty. And the longer you've been together, the more important it may be to keep creating moments where you get to experience each other in

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00:45:11

A Doctor Asks a Sex Therapist: Married at First...

In Bed with Science: a Sex Podcast ·

2026/08/11

This week's episode is a little different. I sat down with my cousin — Dr. Chloe Vites, a GP (doctor) based in the UK — and let her ask me all the questions people usually ask me at parties, on flights, and in the DMs.Things like: Why I became a sex therapist. What I actually do in session. What it was really like filming Married at First Sight: Sweden. And the things I wish couples knew before it's too late.In this episode, we explore:The moment at 17 that made me decide this was going to be my

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00:23:04

Non-Monogamy vs Monogamy: Who's Really Happier?

In Bed with Science: a Sex Podcast ·

2026/07/14

We've been taught that monogamy is the default because it's more satisfying, more "natural". But what if that's not actually what the research says?In this episode, I dig into a major new meta-analysis of 35 studies and nearly 25,000 people that compared relationship and sexual satisfaction across monogamous and non-monogamous relationships. The findings challenge a lot of what we've assumed — and what culture has been telling us for a very long time.If you've ever wondered whether opening up your

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00:27:10

I Tried Everything And It Was Never Enough |...

In Bed with Science: a Sex Podcast ·

2026/06/02

A listener wrote in describing herself as a "well-scraped peanut butter jar" — nothing left to give sexually, and tired of trying.She'd had sex four days a week, spent evenings cuddling and massaging, and offered every kind of intimacy she could think of. Yet every week still brought sulking, silent treatment, and rejection tears.After two months of no sex, the pressure finally stopped — so she asked me: why would I ever go back?In this episode, I unpack what that relief is really telling us — and

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00:09:59

The Hidden Reason You’re Struggling to Orgasm With...

In Bed with Science: a Sex Podcast ·

2026/05/19

Difficulty orgasming isn’t always about you. At least, not in the way you might think.In this minisode of In Bed with Science, I’m talking about one of the less discussed reasons orgasm can become harder with a partner: when your orgasm starts to feel like proof that they’re good at sex.Orgasms aren’t gifts.And when your partner’s care, effort or disappointment becomes part of the experience, pleasure can quickly turn into pressure.In this episode, we explore:Why “giving” someone an orgasm can be an

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00:33:26

AI Vs. Therapy for Low Libido: I Put It To The Test

In Bed with Science: a Sex Podcast ·

2026/05/05

AI is being turned to as a replacement for therapy. As a sex therapist who specialises in low libido, I wanted to know - can it actually help with something as nuanced as low sex drive in a marriage?So I put it to the test. I pretended to be a typical client of mine - a woman in a long-term relationship, struggling with low desire and shame around her turn-ons - and turned to both a trained mental health bot and ChatGPT to see what they got right, what they got wrong, and what most people would

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00:05:50

‘Men Will Have Sex With Anything’? A Sex Therapist...

In Bed with Science: a Sex Podcast ·

2026/04/21

We've all heard it before: "Men always want sex". They’re simple and always raring to go.As a sex therapist specialising in low libido and mismatched desire, I know the toll these kinds of myths can take on the individual and the relationship at large. In this minisode, I break down one of the most common myths about male sexuality — and how it contributes to low desire, performance pressure, and shame.Interested in my services? Check them out hereJoin my 1:1 online program Re:Desire here.Do you

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00:55:27

Low Sex Drive in Women & Mindfulness, with Dr. Lori...

In Bed with Science: a Sex Podcast ·

2026/04/07

Low desire in women is often treated as a hormonal problem or a relationship one.But what if the problem isn’t low libido persay, but rather a lost connection to your body?In this episode, I talk to psychologist and leading sex researcher Dr. Lori Brotto about the science of mindfulness and why it’s become one of the most effective psychological treatments for low desire and arousal in women.We discuss how mindfulness improves sexual wellbeing, why physical arousal and mental desire don’t always

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00:31:34

Why We Have Sex We Don't Want (& How To Approach it)

In Bed with Science: a Sex Podcast ·

2026/03/03

Sometimes low libido doesn’t look like avoiding sex. Sometimes it looks like having sex you didn’t really want in the first place.In this episode, I talk about something that’s far more common than most of us realise: saying yes to sex in a committed relationship even when you’re not really in the mood.It's about the kinds of moments where you agree because it feels easier than arguing, because you don’t want to disappoint your partner, or because you hope you’ll “get into it” once you start.We look

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01:04:57

ADHD, Autism & Sex: Why Sex Feels So Hard, with Dr....

In Bed with Science: a Sex Podcast ·

2026/02/03

For many neurodivergent people, sex becomes draining or disconnected over time, even when there’s desire and care underneath it all.Sex can start to feel like something you’re being evaluated on — rather than something you get to enjoy.In this episode, I talk with licensed counsellor Bowen Marshall about how ADHD, Autism, masking, and performance expectations affect our sex lives — and why so many people end up feeling like they need to "get sex right", instead of actually feeling pleasure.We

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00:26:38

“We Used to Have Such Great Sex”: Can Sexual...

In Bed with Science: a Sex Podcast ·

2026/01/06

“We used to have such great sex" is one of the most common things I hear from clients as a sex therapist and coach.Along with this confession usually comes grief, shame, and worry that something important to them is lost forever.In this episode, I explore the science of sexual nostalgia: why remembering past sexual connection can sometimes help rekindle desire — and why, in other cases, it can actually make things worse.I also include a free exercise toward the end to help you revisit past positive

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00:49:25

Sex & Performance Anxiety: What Helps with Dr. Evie...

In Bed with Science: a Sex Podcast ·

2025/12/16

If you want sex to feel good again and not have to think about whether you're hard or softening, or whether you're going to have an orgasm soon — this episode gives you clear, usable tools to start moving in that direction.In part two of this series on sexual performance anxiety, I talk with health psychologist and clinical sexologist Dr Evie Kirana about how to deal with sexual performance anxiety. We break down the real mind–body connection (no woo here - just pure physiology!), why you can’t

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00:55:02

Sex & Performance Anxiety: What’s Really Going On...

In Bed with Science: a Sex Podcast ·

2025/12/02

If you’ve ever felt your body shut down the moment sex begins (your arousal just disappears, or you become consumed with worries about your performance), this episode will help you understand why.In part one of this series, I talk with researcher Dr David Rowland about what sexual performance anxiety actually is, how it develops, and what’s happening in your brain and body when anxiety takes over. We unpack why pills can help penises but not people, why avoidance keeps the cycle alive, and how

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00:49:51

"Does It Even Work?": 'Female Viagra' for Low Libido...

In Bed with Science: a Sex Podcast ·

2025/11/11

A quick fix for low libido in women - sounds like a dream, right? Even for me as a sex therapist!In this episode, I talk with researcher Dr. Glen Spielmans about bremelanotide — a medication approved in the US for low sexual desire in women. On paper, it’s designed to target brain receptors linked to desire. But when you look closely at the trials, the story gets a lot more complicated.We get into:How the “statistically significant” results in the trials were actually very small, and why that

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00:28:59

When Planned Sex Works & When It Doesn’t: What the...

In Bed with Science: a Sex Podcast ·

2025/10/07

If the idea of planning sex makes you panic, this episode is for you.And if you’re curious whether planning could help your sex life and relationship thrive - it’s for you too.We often hear that spontaneous sex is the “real” kind of sex — and that if you have to plan it, something must be wrong in your relationship. But is that actually true?In this episode, I unpack a new study on spontaneous vs planned sex and talk about how it plays out in real relationships.I’ll share why planning can be a game

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01:09:07

Low Libido in Men—How Hidden Emotions Push Couples Apart

In Bed with Science: a Sex Podcast ·

2025/09/02

Up to 40% of men experience low desire. But it's rarely talked about—in society or relationships. In this episode, I talk with researcher Grace Wang about what really happens when a male partner is dealing with low sexual desire—and how the way we manage (or suppress) difficult emotions can make or break sexual communication in a relationship.We unpack her study on emotion regulation and low sexual desire in men, including why “just regulating your emotions” is a lot harder than it sounds on social

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00:11:02

Taking My Own Advice: Slowing Down To Show Up Better

In Bed with Science: a Sex Podcast ·

2025/08/19

This episode is a bit of a departure from the regular stuff! A personal update and a few important reminders about sex, desire, and overall well-being.Interested in my services? Check them out hereJoin my 1:1 online program Re:Desire here.Do you want to submit a listener question for the podcast? Here's the link

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00:32:32

How to Talk About Sexual Preferences Without Killing...

In Bed with Science: a Sex Podcast ·

2025/08/05

How can you tell if a new partner shares your turn-ons — without making it awkward?In this episode, I answer a listener question about casual sex, power dynamics, and the kind of miscommunication that can happen when you don’t talk about your turn-ons out loud. We unpack a qualitative study on how people in BDSM communities use tech (like texting) to express desires, set boundaries, and build trust — especially when things are new or casual.You’ll learn:Why even light power play requires clear

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00:25:41

Should You Tell Your Partner About Your Sexual...

In Bed with Science: a Sex Podcast ·

2025/07/08

Sharing what turns you on with a partner can be scary. But it can also be hot, and emotionally rewarding. This episode dives into one of the most common but rarely spoken fears in long-term relationships: what will happen if I share what I fantasize about? We unpack a fascinating new study on why people do (and don’t) share their sexual fantasies with partners — and the surprising gap between what people fear will happen, and what actually does.We'll cover:Why fear of judgment often outweighs the

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