CORN DOWN Prank Calls

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The CORNDOWN pt 339: with Tim Dunigan as Captain...

CORN DOWN Prank Calls ·

2026/10/02

You know how when you go to fast food places, they have way better napkins that they aren’t giving you? I know all about this, all too well. So what do you do? You upgrade your napkins, thats what you do. Mutli-Fold-Employee-Use-Only-Napkins exist, and you can have them, but only if you know to ask. What about Salisbury chicken? Is that a thing, and if not, why not, and if yes, why is it in my KF Chicken Fame Bowl? Whuppy notices the chicken tastes like chicken. Somewhere around here we find a

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The CORNDOWN pt 338: with Doug Parker as Mega Man

CORN DOWN Prank Calls ·

2026/09/25

What, actually, is the difference between a window and a door? Tough question. The answer is; nothing. There is no difference between a window and a door. This poses serious issues for whuppy and myself. First off, can’t find the door at all. Very unprofessional. Perhaps it’s not that we can’t find the door, maybe we’re mistaking the door for a window, or maybe the door is outright missing. If thats the case, that explains why we try to borrow doors from other businesses

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The CORNDOWN pt 337: with Evan Peters as Jeffrey Dahmer

CORN DOWN Prank Calls ·

2026/09/18

Something was up with the audio in this CORNDOWN. It kept going silent. Pretty sure that’s not normal. Things aren’t just supposed to go silent. One thing that isn’t silent? The lawnmower; it’s going nuts. Wastedmemory is here this week, and he’s getting odd photos and videos of his KF Chicken products, and the staff is on the defense. I’m getting weird AI results when scanning the chicken… shrimp? Probably because they use instant chicken. They won’t

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The CORNDOWN pt 336: with Jim Varney as Ernest P....

CORN DOWN Prank Calls ·

2026/09/11

Managers at fast food places are supposed to have roadside assistance to protect the customers that travel through their drive thru. In this gripping episode of CORNDOWN, we expose businesses not maintaining this simple standard. It doesn’t really work as a premise. Whuppy and I dabble in getting our chickens put down, which works a little better. Then wastedmemory shows up and saves the show by using the app to quit a job he doesn’t have. Classic. From there, the show gets intermerged

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The CORNDOWN pt 335: with Ben Stein as Economics Teacher

CORN DOWN Prank Calls ·

2026/09/04

This CORNDOWN picks up quickly. Then whuppy has an ongoing issue, and no one is doing anything to help. This persists for another forty minutes. Then we’re back to picking me up, it really shouldn’t be that big of a deal, I don’t weigh that much. We also get some employees to wipe down. You have to wipe down. In the second half, we get picked up rather than trying to get them to pick us up. It’s an important distinction, trust me. I test a theory, wasted deals with male

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The CORNDOWN pt 334: with Nicolas Cage as Castor...

CORN DOWN Prank Calls ·

2026/08/28

This is a bad episode; It’s covered in scum. There’s chicken scum, and scum on the buns. Whuppy tries to do a bit on the issue but it doesn’t work out due to packet loss. Scum, scum, scum. There’s scum everywhere. And I think they’re heating the buns? Whuppy also discovers if you say “coffee cup”, everyone will hang up on you. I try to get some people to ride the bus with me, we talk trucks with rosin, and a little more scum. I also have a long call with a

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The CORNDOWN pt 333: with Hayley Mills as Miss Carrie...

CORN DOWN Prank Calls ·

2026/08/21

I failed on this one, BIG TIME. First off, I failed to order, then whuppy failed to do a bunch of stuff. This most certainly does not meet my personal standards, and I am officially apologizing. Shortly after that, some animals got bit in the parking lot, which is not normal. There’s even a chance the manager is hitting customers and employees, which some might say is a failure to manage properly. Then we move on to hotels, and I fail to hotel completely. Rosin gets his credit card information

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The CORNDOWN pt 332: with Patrice O’Neal as T-Bone

CORN DOWN Prank Calls ·

2026/08/14

This is definitely a double pump’d episode. It starts off with some lost food, some old food, a display model, and setting it to all 9s, then we get into the double pumping. You can’t just let customers double pump like that. It’s bad for business. On top of that? I get chicken face, and from not even that much chicken. It just sucks. It’s around this time that I get a notification on my phone that a groundhog is walking on the grass. From there we try to throw some bandaids

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The CORNDOWN pt 331: with Vincent D’Onofrio as Robert...

CORN DOWN Prank Calls ·

2026/08/07

It’s Mark’s last day, but not for the reason you might think. Things get dark. It’s whuppy’s fault. You gotta check on your inactive employees, not check your brakes in the drive thru. We also prevent bad brand association by taking food from homeless persons. That’s about when the employee puts their fingers in my mouth. It’s not that big of a deal, I’m not even mad. Whuppy gets his eye touched and that leads to pinkeye. So I try to take a minute to just

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The CORDNOWN pt 330: with H. Jon Benjamin as Walter

CORN DOWN Prank Calls ·

2026/07/31

Why is it so hard to pay full price? It seems like they’re always forcing promotional discounts on you, and I hate it. It’s a really problem issue. Wastedmemory also discoveres you get in trouble with the police when you give chicken to children. And you go straight to jail if you give chicken to the police. If the police do not want the chicken, do not give the police the chicken. They’ll just use the smell as probable cause to search your car and put you in handcuffs over

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The CORNDOWN pt 329: with Brendon Small as Perry

CORN DOWN Prank Calls ·

2026/07/24

This show starts with a blocked bike lane. This is not only incredibly unsafe, but it’s annoying and I hate it. You have to keep the bike lane cleared. But every single call picks up. That never happens. Weird. From there, in the process of getting our orders notarized, wastedmemory and I notice that the store doesn’t want to touch our ID cards. No one wants to touch mine for sure, and no one will even look at wasted’s. This keeps up until the halfway point, plus or minus a five or

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The CORNDOWN pt 328: with Timothy Stack as Sam

CORN DOWN Prank Calls ·

2026/07/17

A lot of this episode of CORNDOWN takes place in the bathroom. A lot of this episode of CORNDOWN has to do with hair. As such, the first calls are all about finding hair in the bathroom, which evokes some bad vibes and leads way to being scared in an empty bathroom. From there, whuppy and I work on hiring someone that looks just like us, and eventually give up on that and just swap out with Jeff. In the second half, the gas station bathrooms are still empty, there’s latency at the gas station

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The CORNDOWN pt 327: with Mark Holton as Francis Buxton

CORN DOWN Prank Calls ·

2026/07/10

Listen, I don’t know what you think I saw, but I didn’t. I didn’t see anything. And that’s what we’re telling people on the phone. I saw nothing, I’m not going to say anything. This makes a lot of people apprehensive. Wastedmemory can’t feel anything though, which isn’t normal. This leads to an important question; If I saw nothing, what do I tell the police? This also agitates people. A bit later, whuppy gets us started painting stripes on things to

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The CORNDOWN pt 326: with Alyson Court as Loonette...

CORN DOWN Prank Calls ·

2026/07/03

This is probably the most normal episode ever, and there isn’t any heavy editing. It starts by returning a page we received on our beeper. This leads me to remembering I was banned from Hooters last night, and seeing how it affects other businesses. Wasted and I dabble in some light flashlight usage and deal with drive thu warning signs. From there, we further explore flashlight usage, encounter some maintenance psychos, fix a few trees, feel unneeded, and get a pep talk from John. It was a

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The CORNDOWN pt 325: with Chris Isaak as Agent...

CORN DOWN Prank Calls ·

2026/06/26

The first call is about Schwebel’s bread, which is a 120+ year old local bakery, and they announced they were shutting down shortly after this call. I thought they were a national label. I didn’t mean to get them shut down. I’m sorry. Other than that we’re shooting for 100% on this show. We try to 100% a bunch of Arby’s. They don’t like it. They don’t even let us go for 50-75%. What’s wrong with these freaks? We ask about sister sandwiches/stores and

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The CORNDOWN pt 324: with Greg Lee as Handyman Rick

CORN DOWN Prank Calls ·

2026/06/19

I really don’t have a great reason, but this CORNDOWN seems to revolve around nail clippings. I’m not particularly proud of this. Luckily, whuppy gets things wet, and we grab some (personal) information on the chicken, or this would have been all clippings. There is a good amount of dealing with wet things actually, such as wet chicken, wet bowls, wet rooms, and classic warm and wet. Other than that, Snappy Bakes has some gay dogs, Tiff knows all fifty states, and I’ve been keeping

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The CORNDOWN pt 323: with Bob McFadden as Stargazer

CORN DOWN Prank Calls ·

2026/06/12

This show starts out with a few grapes, a little encouragement, and then a SERIOUS doublecross. Our famous bowls are all messed up, with wrong ingredients and incorrect operation, slamming into the frame at a forty five degree angle. From there, it’s salamanders. Pretty much all salamanders. We got normal salamanders, service salamanders, hotel salamanders. All kinds, really. Couple little lizards too. It’s pretty neat. You should check it out.This show is made possible by donations

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The CORNDOWN pt 322: with Kevin Spacey as John Doe

CORN DOWN Prank Calls ·

2026/06/05

This show starts off strong, as I get a B King to mail a Whopper to my PO box to replace a scratched bun. This leads to wastedmemory having a scratched bag and a creased reciept, and I deal with a pen marked bag. We dabble with some burger sports before discovering the effectivness of reporting non-emergencies. A lot of employees are covering the phone reciever, and that’s not an emergency. There’s all kinds of stuff going on with Benadryl, and that’s not an emergency either. By

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The CORNDOWN pt 321: with Julianne Moore as Clarice...

CORN DOWN Prank Calls ·

2026/05/29

Ever got gravy on your neck? Did it leave a tattoo? Of course it did, so you’ll understand the first batch of calls. We also deal with returning calls we never actually got, and move gravy around between KF Chickens like its our job. There’s tall ones, Wild One’s, and I think Tiff is probably a dude with a voice changer. Rosin gets water in his tires, and then I get Pepsi in mine. We play hide and seek, eat on the toilet, mess with some cookies and mailboxes, and we’re

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The CORNDOWN pt 320: with Richard Belzer as Detective...

CORN DOWN Prank Calls ·

2026/05/22

Well, what we have here is a heavily goblin themed show. It starts out with red lights across the board, and settings askew. A goblin is blamed, and then focused on for several calls ranging from goblin meat to a goblin shopper. I do have the surprisingly legitimate premise of telling places we prepaid at the gas station, and we get a loty of mileage out of that. Then back to goblins. We deal with goblin holes, goblins in the parking lot, found goblins lost goblins, until we’ve done literally

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