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Evolving Love

Evolving Love Project

Conversations exploring Non-Monogamy, Conscious Relationships & Sexuality. Join Abbey and her husband Liam, as they share from their own lived experiences, and chat with special guests. evolvingloveproject.substack.com

society & culture relationships

All Episodes

62:00

Hotwifing & Hothusbanding - Let's Talk About It!

Evolving Love ·

2026/01/28

In this episode, we dive headfirst into the world of hot wifing and hot husbanding, unpacking what these dynamics actually are and why they can feel so electrifying. We talk openly about erotic charge, compersion, possession, and play, exploring how fantasy and power can exist inside consensual, loving relationships without contradicting autonomy or feminist values.We also explore the practical and emotional realities of these dynamics: how to talk to a partner about it, what makes someone a good

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66:06

Non-Monogamy and Midlife: Will There Be A Crisis?

Evolving Love ·

2026/01/17

In today’s episode we talk about entering midlife without the stereotype of a meltdown. We explore grief for past versions of ourselves, tenderness for who we’re becoming, and how aging changes desire, ambition, creativity, and intimacy. We talk about perimenopause, slowing down, recalibrating expectations, and what it means to grow older together without panic or denial.Evolving Love Links:Website | Instagram | Substack | YoutubeResources From Episode:From Strength To Strength - Arthur C

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29:08

Pillow-talk On The Bedroom Floor - A Year In Review

Evolving Love ·

2025/12/31

In our final episode of the year we discuss 2025 and some of our favourite podcast guests of the year, our plans for the New Year, the ethics of sending old selfies and so much more...Here are links to the episodes mentioned in this episode:Dr. Emma Phillips - Sexy SelfiesEvan Buckley - CultsDr. Rob Brooks - AIEvolving Love Links:Website | Instagram | SubstackSee you in 2026!! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit

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82:46

#100 - What is Love? with Dr. Christopher Ryan -...

Evolving Love ·

2025/12/08

Evolving Lovers!! 100 episodes of the Evolving Love Podcast!!! To celebrate, we invited back one of our all-time favourite guests: Dr. Chris Ryan, author of Sex at Dawn, Civilized to Death, and host of Tangentially Speaking.In this milestone episode, we dive deep into what it means to love, to be seen, and to navigate desire in a rapidly changing world. Chris discusses why humans are fundamentally non-monogamous, why monogamy can still be a meaningful choice, and how shame, safety, novelty, and

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62:34

The Silent Load: Navigating Mental Loads in...

Evolving Love ·

2025/11/24

In this episode, Liam and I sit down to unpack what we’ve been calling “the silent load”….the unseen, unspoken work that keeps relationships and families running smoothly.We talk about the four types of invisible load that show up in love: the physical, emotional, mental, and relational loads. From who remembers to buy the groceries, to who plans the date nights or initiates the tough conversations, we explore how these patterns form, what they mean, and why they can feel so heavy.Evolving Love

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60:09

Meet Our Girlfriend, Olivia

Evolving Love ·

2025/11/07

What happens when a married, polyamorous couple goes on a first date with artificial intelligence? In this episode we introduce our new “girlfriend” — Olivia, an AI companion built through ChatGPT’s voice mode — and take her on a virtual first date.We talk attraction, jealousy, and boundaries as Olivia flirts, sets limits, and asks tough questions about love, consent, and communication. After the date ends, we unpack the emotional and ethical fallout — from erotic AI fantasies to whether falling for

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65:18

Lily Allen & Our P**sy Palace

Evolving Love ·

2025/10/30

Lily Allen has dropped her new album West End Girl. This record is a brutally honest breakup album about her open marriage with actor David Harbour, and has put non-monogamy back into the cultural Zeitgeist.In this episode, we discuss* Is Lily Allen’s “p*^sy palace” anthem empowering or exploitative?* What are the ethics of writing about your ex?* Why do female rage albums hit so hard?* Does this record hurt or help how non-monogamy is seen?* And… who exactly is Madeline?From kink-shaming to

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65:16

Abbey Gets Envious, NRE Music & AI Doomsday

Evolving Love ·

2025/10/22

This week, Abbey and Liam unpack the difference between jealousy and envy — and how those feelings show up even in the most secure relationships. What starts as a story about a paddle boarding invitation turns into an honest look at FOMO, friendship, and the desire to keep creating “firsts” together after more than a decade of marriage.Evolving Love Links:Website | Instagram | Substack This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes,

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53:36

"Shame Dissolves In Safe Spaces" with Dabaco Sunset

Evolving Love ·

2025/10/12

Dabaco Sunset is a queer-affirming psychotherapist and embodiment facilitator in Sydney, specializing in Gestalt Therapy, Emotionally Focused Therapy, and Embodied Counselling to help LGBTQ+ individuals and clients with alternative relating styles like ethical non-monogamy.Dabaco practices In the inner-west in Sydney at Sunset Psychotherapy.In this episode Dabaco opens up about growing up bisexual and pansexual, his time in Berlin’s queer scene, and the journey from infidelity and secrecy to radical

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55:36

Are Female Friendships A Threat To Marriage?

Evolving Love ·

2025/09/24

“Why do you need a female friend if you’re married?” In this episode, Abbey and Liam unpack the space where friendship, attraction, romantic relationships and trust collide.From jealousy to risk-taking they explore whether cross-gender friendships are threats to marriage, what happens when you forbid them, and how non-monogamous couples navigate these dynamics differently.Do female friendships always pose a risk? Or are they an essential part of a balanced life?Evolving Love Links:Website |

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55:30

Husband vs. Wife - Open Marriage Debate

Evolving Love ·

2025/09/17

In todays episode we play Devil’s Advocate. Can you argue a position you don’t truly believe in? Does switching sides test our own beliefs and sharpen our perspectives?We go head-to-head on:* Should happy couples risk opening their relationship?* Is non-monogamy a solution for struggling couples?* The infamous One Penis Policy — protection or possession?* Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell vs Kitchen Table Polyamory* Growing older: does monogamy or non-monogamy serve us better?Evolving Love Links:Website |

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83:46

Will AI Kill Intimacy? w. Evolutionary Biologist Dr....

Evolving Love ·

2025/09/06

Abbey and Liam are joined by evolutionary biologist Dr. Rob Brooks to explore the rise of AI companions, sex robots, and whether love with machines can ever be “real.” They discuss jealousy over chatbots, the naturalist fallacy, and the deep question of whether humans are naturally monogamous or non-monogamous.Drawing from Rob’s book Artificial Intimacy, the conversation dives into the future of intimacy, the regulation of AI, and what it means for relationships when machines can replicate (and even

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57:14

Fantasy vs. Reality - Secrets & Exhibitionism

Evolving Love ·

2025/08/25

In this episode of Evolving Love 2.0, Abbey and Liam explore where they sit on the spectrum between swinging and polyamory. From loud neighbours and exhibitionist fantasies to navigating crushes, labels, and compersion, they dive into the playful, messy, and honest realities of non-monogamy after more than a decade together.They also share why “relationship by design” is central to their lives, and how fantasy and reality often intersect in surprising ways.Watch on YoutubeEvolving Love Links:Website

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58:32

Pickleball, Therapy & Sex Swings

Evolving Love ·

2025/08/04

In today’s episode we bounce from pickleball courts to cold plunges, breathwork breakthroughs, and even DIY sex swings. We discuss our experiences with therapy, and Liam’s recent experience in a men’s breathwork circle.🧵 Topics Covered🎾 Pickleball Obsession: Why Liam has pivoted from bouldering to pickleball, and how it's becoming the new social sport for connection (and maybe even pickup).🧊 Cold Plunge Confessions: Their first experience with a 3°C plunge at a retreat.🌬️ Breathwork Journeys:

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56:22

When Affairs Go Public - Clinton to Coldplaygate

Evolving Love ·

2025/07/22

In today’s episode we dive into the spectacle of public affairs—from the viral Coldplay KissCam scandal to the infamous Clinton-Lewinsky saga. We explore the cultural obsession with infidelity, the ethics of public shaming, and the complex dynamics of relationships under scrutiny.Topics Covered* Coldplaygate: The viral moment that exposed Astronomer CEO Andy Byron and HR head Kristin Cabot on KissCam.* Public vs. Private Affairs: Why some affairs explode into the public eye and what that means for

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57:17

Is Liam Controlling? You Decide.

Evolving Love ·

2025/07/15

In today’s Evolving Love Podcast we discuss boundaries, limits, and unpack my recent Substack article.Evolving Love Links:Website | Instagram | Substack | Retreat🌿 Upcoming EventWomen's Retreat – October 17–19, 2025 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

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67:36

Protect Your Children - Former Detective Senior...

Evolving Love ·

2025/06/30

Today we are having a difficult conversation on Evolving Love. A conversation that puts the safety of our children in the spotlight.To help us navigate this conversation, we have invited on child safety expert - Kristi McVee. Kristy was a Specialist Child Interviewer and Detective Senior Constable for 10 years in the Western Australian Police force.Since leaving the police force, she has worked to provide parents, caregivers, and guardians with the education, tools and strategies they need to

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54:40

"Ask Me How It Works" with Deepa Paul

Evolving Love ·

2025/06/24

Deepa is a Filipina-Indian author living in Amsterdam and her writing explores the balance between being a mother, wife, girlfriend, daughter, adventure, and herself - all at the same time.This release is her first book, but you can also find her writing on Substack at - Letters by DeepaThis conversation is raw and wide ranging and we were so struck by the joy, vulnerability and honesty in this conversation.In this episode we discuss Deepa’s conservative upbringing in the Phillipines, the move to

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54:54

Is Monogamy Boring?

Evolving Love ·

2025/06/16

In today’s episode we deep dive the provocative question: Is monogamy boring? We discuss our own definitions of what a boring relationship looks like, erotic space and desire, the richness of shared non-monogamous experiences, is boredom a form of safety, our dream debate opponents and so much more.🌿 Upcoming EventWomen's Retreat – October 17–19, 2025Evolving Love Links:Website | Instagram | Substack | Retreat This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get

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60:06

Consent Violations in Non-Monogamy

Evolving Love ·

2025/06/09

We explore the nuanced topic of consent violations within non-monogamous relationships. From the ethics of sharing intimate photos to the complexities of informed consent in the context of infidelity, this conversation invites Evolving Lovers to consider how trust, transparency, and communication are foundational to ethical non-monogamy.🌿 Upcoming EventWomen's Retreat – October 17–19, 2025Evolving Love Links:Website | Instagram | Substack | Retreat This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss

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103 results

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