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PODCAST

The High Conflict Blueprint | for Stepmoms Dealing with a Toxic or Narcissistic Ex

The High Conflict Blueprint

The podcast for stepmums and stepmoms who are done with the drama and manipulation of their partner"s high conflict ex.Because you didn’t sign up for this much chaos. But yet here you are, trying to build a life with your partner while navigating kids and an ex who makes everything impossible.This podcast gives you practical strategies to help you deal with it all.Hosted by a stepmum and certified coach who"s lived it.

kids & family relationships

All Episodes

10:23

How to Stop Reacting to the Ex's Manipulation // 29

The High Conflict Blueprint | for Stepmoms Dealing... ·

2025/12/16

Imagine the ex tries to manipulate you, and you just... don't react.Instead, you just go about your day. She has no power over you.Sounds nice, right?But that's not what's happening.What's actually happening is this – she says something and immediately you're frustrated. You start explaining. Defending. She comes back with something ridiculous. Now you're angry.And the cycle continues.Here's why you can't seem to stop – you're trying to force yourself to

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14:55

How to Know If You're Being Manipulated by the High...

The High Conflict Blueprint | for Stepmoms Dealing... ·

2025/12/09

You walk away from a conversation with the ex and feel... confused. Guilty, even.You know she was in the wrong. But somehow, by the end of it, you or your partner were apologising.Did she just manipulate you? Or are you just overthinking it?Here's the truth: if you're confused, there's a good chance you're being manipulated.And the worst part is that you start doubting yourself. Maybe you ARE remembering it wrong. Maybe this really IS your fault.But it's not. And toady,

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14:04

When You Keep Doubting Yourself & Wondering If You're...

The High Conflict Blueprint | for Stepmoms Dealing... ·

2025/12/02

There's this question mark that seems to follow you everywhere.It causes you to hesitate before walking into school events. To second-guess when helping the kids with homework."Do I even belong in this family?"You didn't used to feel this way. You came into this relationship confident. Ready to be part of the family. But now you wonder if maybe the ex is right. Maybe you are overstepping. Maybe you’re not helping. Maybe they'd be better off without you.Everyone tells you

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10:56

Should You Leave Your Partner Because of His Toxic...

The High Conflict Blueprint | for Stepmoms Dealing... ·

2025/11/25

You've been pushing the thought away for a while now... “maybe this relationship isn't going to work.” You love him. You're trying. But the high conflict ex creates endless drama, it’s not getting better, and you're starting to wonder if the only way you'll ever feel happy again is if you leave.But you can't decide whether you should stay or go. Both options are painful. So you go back and forth, exhausted by the question.In this episode, I'm giving you a framework

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12:29

How to Stop the Ex From Ruining Your Relationship // 25

The High Conflict Blueprint | for Stepmoms Dealing... ·

2025/11/18

Does it feel like your entire relationship revolves around her?You sit down for dinner and within five minutes, you're talking about something she said. You're trying to have a quiet morning and her name comes up. You want to relax on the couch with your partner but there's this tension because of what happened earlier with her.She's not even there. But she's everywhere.And here's the thing – you can't actually relax in your own relationship. There's no safe

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12:04

24. How to Stop Fighting About the Ex and Start...

The High Conflict Blueprint | for Stepmoms Dealing... ·

2025/11/11

You've had another fight about the ex. He's shut down, you're exhausted and wondering if your relationship can survive much more of this.You both need to get on the same page to protect your relationship, and in this episode, I’ll show you how. I discuss how to know if he’s ready, how to have the conversation, how to figure out what your united front actually looks like, and how to support each other when she inevitably tests it.If you're tired of feeling like you're

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13:57

23. How to Support Your Partner Through Toxic...

The High Conflict Blueprint | for Stepmoms Dealing... ·

2025/11/04

Another text comes through. Your partner spirals. And suddenly you're the one drafting responses at 2am and researching parental alienation strategies. You're disappearing under the weight of it. And then you feel guilty for thinking "I don't know how long I can keep doing this".But there is another way. You can be there for him and protect yourself at the same time.In this episode – I'll show you how. You'll learn how to step back without the guilt, stay grounded

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9:51

22. Feel Like She's Always Winning? How to Beat the...

The High Conflict Blueprint | for Stepmoms Dealing... ·

2025/10/28

It feels like she's winning, doesn't it? Every time she ignores your boundaries, every time she gets away with something – it feels like she’s winning and you're losing.But what if that idea of winning versus losing is keeping you trapped in her game?The problem is that you're so focused on not letting her "get away with" it that you're accidentally sacrificing the very things you're trying to protect – your peace, your relationship, your goals, and your

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18:06

21. When His Family Still Talks to the Ex & You Feel...

The High Conflict Blueprint | for Stepmoms Dealing... ·

2025/10/21

You see her at family gatherings. His mum still helps her out. His sister invites her to birthday parties. And you're left wondering – why does she get to stay in, while you feel like the outsider? In this episode, I break down why the high conflict ex clings to his family and the manipulation tactics she uses to stay there. You'll learn why his family allows this to happen, and the practical strategies you can use to limit what she gets out of those connections, so that over time they may

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9:43

20. Is The Toxic Ex Turning You Into Someone You...

The High Conflict Blueprint | for Stepmoms Dealing... ·

2025/10/14

You’re stressed, reactive, angry – you don't recognise yourself anymore. And you think, "She's turning me into someone I'm not." But here's the truth – she's not turning you into anything. She’s just revealing parts of you that you didn't know were there. And that's the most powerful thing you could discover. Because when you know that about yourself, you have an opportunity to build capabilities you'd never develop otherwise. And when you learn how to handle her at her worst and still ...

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14:00

19. When the Kids Are Her Spies – and Nothing in Your...

The High Conflict Blueprint | for Stepmoms Dealing... ·

2025/10/07

You start to mention weekend plans to the kids, but you stop yourself mid-sentence. Because you know what happens next – within 24 hours, she'll know. She'll have something to say about it, or she'll try to ruin it entirely.This episode tackles one of the most frustrating parts of high conflict co-parenting – when everything you say or do gets reported back to the high conflict ex. You'll learn why she uses the kids as spies, how to protect your privacy and plans without shutting

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16:29

18. Which High Conflict Pattern Are You Dealing With?

The High Conflict Blueprint | for Stepmoms Dealing... ·

2025/09/30

Ever feel like you're losing your mind trying to understand why she acts the way she does?In this episode, I break down five specific personality patterns commonly found in high conflict people. By the end, you might finally have an explanation for behaviours that have been driving you crazy.I'll walk you through the narcissistic pattern (the 'I'm superior, you're nothing' type), the borderline pattern (the 'love you, hate you' type), the antisocial pattern

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12:40

17. How to Choose Your Battles with a Toxic Ex

The High Conflict Blueprint | for Stepmoms Dealing... ·

2025/09/23

Another "emergency" text at 9 PM. Another crisis that somehow requires immediate attention. You're exhausted from fighting with her about everything she throws at you.Today, I'm breaking down exactly how to choose your battles with a high conflict ex without burning yourself out in the process.You'll discover why she creates endless conflicts and my four-question framework that takes the guesswork out of when to respond and when to let it go.No more spending hours agonising

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17:10

16. Getting to Yes – How to Negotiate with a High...

The High Conflict Blueprint | for Stepmoms Dealing... ·

2025/09/16

You rehearse the perfect request – polite, reasonable, with plenty of notice. But you already know what's coming. The automatic "no" from the high conflict ex.If you've been there, you'll know that crushing frustration of trying to negotiate with someone who seems to enjoy refusing everything.And every time she refuses something reasonable that would actually benefit the kids, you feel that anger building. Why does it have to be this hard?In today's episode, I'm

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10:35

15. The Surprising Reason You’re So Bothered by the Ex

The High Conflict Blueprint | for Stepmoms Dealing... ·

2025/09/09

You're constantly frustrated. She won't respect boundaries. He won't stand up to her. The kids ignore you. Nobody does what they should do, and you're stuck feeling angry, disappointed, and resentful about it all. In this episode, I reveal the surprising reason you feel so miserable – and it's not what you think. While you've been focused on the high conflict ex's toxic behaviour, there's something else quietly stealing your peace. It’s your "Manual” – a

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11:49

14. Is the Ex High Conflict or Just Difficult? How to...

The High Conflict Blueprint | for Stepmoms Dealing... ·

2025/09/02

She's nice to you, then sends a toxic text. You're wondering – is the ex really high conflict? Maybe she just had a bad day... maybe you're imagining things... maybe you're the problem?This episode cuts through the confusion with a clear way to help you recognise if she’s truly high conflict, or if she’s just difficult. I'll walk you through real scenarios that reveal the patterns high conflict people follow, even when they seem reasonable on the surface.You'll discover

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13:08

13. Stop Living in Fear: How to Set Boundaries When...

The High Conflict Blueprint | for Stepmoms Dealing... ·

2025/08/26

You and your partner give in to ridiculous demands because the fear of what the high conflict ex might do feels scarier than just putting up with her current toxic behaviour. And the exhaustion of constantly managing her emotions is crushing you. But what if all this careful tiptoeing is actually making you more vulnerable, not less?In this episode, I'll show you why your current strategy of avoiding her triggers isn't actually protecting your family, and what's really happening when

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13:44

12. She’s Poisoning Their Minds: What to Do When the...

The High Conflict Blueprint | for Stepmoms Dealing... ·

2025/08/19

What do you do when your stepchild repeats something cruel – and you know it came straight from her?This episode is your guide to one of the most painful things stepmums face – when the high-conflict ex plants toxic messages in the kids’ minds and tries to turn them against you.I’ll walk you through exactly how to respond without throwing the kids in the middle or fuelling more conflict. You’ll learn how to support them through the confusion and protect your relationship with them.Most importantly,

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13:55

11. When You Hate His Ex – and Resent Who You’ve Become

The High Conflict Blueprint | for Stepmoms Dealing... ·

2025/08/12

Do you ever feel consumed by hate toward your partner’s high conflict ex?In this episode, I unpack the raw, unspoken truth behind those feelings of rage and resentment. We’ll explore what’s happening beneath the surface – and how to shift out of hate without pretending everything’s fine.This episode is a must-listen if:Your thoughts are consumed by resentment towards herYou’re constantly triggered, even when she’s not aroundShe’s turning you into someone you don’t recogniseYou just want to stop this

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10:36

10. How to Stop Feeling So Triggered By the Ex All...

The High Conflict Blueprint | for Stepmoms Dealing... ·

2025/08/05

It’s not just what she says – it’s how it gets to you. Every time.In this episode, we’re digging into why you feel so triggered, and how to take back your emotional control. You’ll learn how emotional triggers actually work, why you spiral so quickly, and the real reason her drama hits you so hard. I’ll walk you through a step-by-step process to stop internalising her jabs, shift your perspective, and finally break the cycle – without needing her to change a thing.👉 Episode Show Notes:

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30 results

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