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PODCAST

The High Conflict Blueprint | for Stepmoms Dealing with a Toxic or Narcissistic Ex

The High Conflict Blueprint

The podcast for stepmums and stepmoms who are done with the drama and manipulation of their partner"s high conflict ex.Because you didn’t sign up for this much chaos. But yet here you are, trying to build a life with your partner while navigating kids and an ex who makes everything impossible.This podcast gives you practical strategies to help you deal with it all.Hosted by a stepmum and certified coach who"s lived it.

society & culture relationships

All Episodes

13:43

When Stepping Back from the Drama Isn't Working – How...

The High Conflict Blueprint | for Stepmoms Dealing... ·

2026/04/09

You've tried stepping back. Maybe more than once. You told yourself you were going to let him handle it. That you've had enough of dealing with the drama. And for a little while, it almost worked. But then he came home stressed after dealing with the ex. Or his phone went off with her endless messages. And before you knew it, you were right back in the middle – managing, fixing, trying to hold it all together. Again. So why does stepping back feel impossible? It's not because you'...

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13:44

Should You Respond or Ignore Her? Your Questions on...

The High Conflict Blueprint | for Stepmoms Dealing... ·

2026/04/02

You know you shouldn't react to her. But understanding that and actually doing it in the moment are two different things.In this Q&A episode, I'm answering real communication questions from stepmums:She sent accusations I had nothing to do with. I didn't respond – did I do the right thing?If I don't defend myself, won't she just think she's right?Every time I ignore her, she gets worse. What am I doing wrong?She keeps threatening to take it to her lawyer. Do we have

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13:39

How to Survive a High Conflict Court Battle Without...

The High Conflict Blueprint | for Stepmoms Dealing... ·

2026/03/27

You're terrified this court battle is going to cost you everything – your money, your relationship, yourself.The legal fees are bleeding you both dry. And it costs you in ways that go beyond that – the holidays you can't take, the house you can't buy, a future that keeps getting pushed further out. And the arguments between you two are getting more frequent.Going through an endless custody battle gets inside your head. And it starts to change who you are. You're more anxious than

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15:21

The Mistakes That Destroy Your Family Court Case | Ep 42

The High Conflict Blueprint | for Stepmoms Dealing... ·

2026/03/17

When you’re going through family court, everything you say, everything you do – the ex could twist it and use it against you. So you and your partner have been treading carefully. Explaining every time she accuses you of anything because you don’t want it to look like she’s right.You're probably also letting her bad behaviour slide. Avoiding things you shouldn't be avoiding. Because the last thing you want is to hand her ammunition she can twist for court. And that fear makes perfect

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12:24

How to Win Against a High Conflict Ex in Family Court...

The High Conflict Blueprint | for Stepmoms Dealing... ·

2026/03/11

You've watched it happen. She walks into that hearing confident, emotional, compelling – and somehow, she's believable, even when pretty much everything she claims is false. Meanwhile, your partner walks in with the truth. And the truth should be enough, right? It's not. Not when you're up against a high conflict ex.And here's why. High conflict people are skilled at presenting their story. They know exactly the impression they want to leave. And unless your partner knows

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13:11

Why the Ex Keeps Winning in Family Court | Ep 40

The High Conflict Blueprint | for Stepmoms Dealing... ·

2026/03/05

You've read the ex's affidavit — the one that described your home as unstable, your partner as irresponsible, you as a bad influence on the kids. And you thought — surely the judge will see through this. Surely the truth will come out.And then it didn't.If you've ever been through family court with a high conflict ex and walked away wondering how she keeps getting the outcome she wants – this episode will finally give you an answer.Because the court isn't doing what you

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10:26

Why the Ex Keeps Taking You to Court | Ep 39

The High Conflict Blueprint | for Stepmoms Dealing... ·

2026/02/24

Another lawyer letter. Another court threat from the ex. Here we go again.You know how this goes. You and your partner spend time, money, and energy going through a whole court process that ends up... usually where you already were. And just when life starts to settle down again, something else comes up. A new complaint. And it starts again.It's not just the cost, the time, and the stress of family court. It's also what it does to the rest of your life. It’s hard to build anything stable

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15:58

How to Deal With Her Toxic Messages – No Overthinking...

The High Conflict Blueprint | for Stepmoms Dealing... ·

2026/02/18

Draft. Delete. Rewrite. Delete. An hour later, you're still there, trying to figure out how to answer the ex's latest awful message in a way that doesn't set her off again. But no matter how carefully you word it, no matter how reasonable you are, it never lands the way you hope. And tomorrow, or next week, there'll be another message, and you'll be right back here again. Hoping that this time, if you just get the wording right, she'll finally hear you.But she won’t

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10:22

When You've Lost Yourself in All the Drama & Don't...

The High Conflict Blueprint | for Stepmoms Dealing... ·

2026/02/10

When was the last time you did something that had nothing to do with her?Something that was just yours. Not about managing the kids. Not about your partner's stress. Not about the next court date or the latest text. Maybe you can't even remember.Because right now, dealing with a high conflict ex takes up everything. Your time. Your energy. Your thoughts. Your conversations.And without even realising it, the things you used to care about have disappeared. Your goals. Your friendships. The

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9:30

When You’re Losing Hope That Things Will Get Better...

The High Conflict Blueprint | for Stepmoms Dealing... ·

2026/02/03

You didn't know it was going to be like this.When you started this relationship, you thought the drama from the ex would settle down. That things would get easier. That eventually, you'd get to just enjoy your life together without it being sabotaged all the time. But here you are – 1 year in, maybe 2 or 3, maybe even more – and you're still waiting for that future to arrive.And now the reality is starting to sink in. This might not change. It might always be like this. And the

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14:05

4 Truths I Learned the Hard Way After 6 Years Dealing...

The High Conflict Blueprint | for Stepmoms Dealing... ·

2026/01/27

Six years ago, I had no idea what I was getting myself into.Because you don't know what this is like until you're in it, and then you don't know what to do to fix it.I was exhausted.But here's what I've learned since then – four truths that completely changed how I handle this situation with the high conflict ex.If you're burnt out from trying everything and getting nowhere, and you're wondering if you'll ever figure this out – this episode will give you the

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14:55

When the Ex Withholds Information About the Kids // 34

The High Conflict Blueprint | for Stepmoms Dealing... ·

2026/01/20

The ex didn't tell your partner about the doctor's appointment. Again.Or the school event. Or the medication change. Or the parent-teacher conference.And now he’s calling the doctor, the pharmacy, the school, trying to piece together what's happening with his own child.You've watched this play out so many times. And here's what makes it so frustrating – he keeps trying to get her to communicate. But it never works.Because this isn't about poor communication. It's

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10:30

Why She Escalates When Nothing Happened // 33

The High Conflict Blueprint | for Stepmoms Dealing... ·

2026/01/13

Things have been quiet lately. And now suddenly, there's chaos.A lawyer letter. A sudden accusation. A demand that makes absolutely no sense.And you're standing there thinking "What did we do? Where is this even coming from?"But there WAS a trigger. You just missed it. The problem with that though, is if you don’t know where the escalation is coming from, you end up wasting energy on the wrong problem.In this episode, I'll show you how to find the trigger and reveal the

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10:17

The Cost of Always Being the 'Bigger Person' While...

The High Conflict Blueprint | for Stepmoms Dealing... ·

2026/01/07

You're doing all the work to keep things civil. You manage yourself. You think before you respond. You try to stay calm when you want to scream.And the ex? She gets to do whatever she wants. She sends nasty texts, creates chaos, manipulates the kids, and faces no consequences whatsoever.And it's unfair that you have to be the bigger person while she’s the one being awful.But that unfairness isn't the thing that's hurting you most. It's the resentment you're carrying

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11:04

How to Stop Spiralling When the Ex Triggers You // 31

The High Conflict Blueprint | for Stepmoms Dealing... ·

2025/12/31

Imagine having a system where you can stop spiralling within 30 minutes after you’ve been triggered by the ex. Not three hours. Not three days. 30 minutes. That's what we're talking about today. You know you shouldn't engage when she sends those messages. You know you should have boundaries. You know you should stay calm. But here's the problem. You can't. You’re triggered. And even though you told yourself you wouldn't engage this time – you find yourself doing it anyway. You respond. ...

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9:41

Why You Spiral for Days After the Ex Triggers You // 30

The High Conflict Blueprint | for Stepmoms Dealing... ·

2025/12/23

You know that feeling when you've been triggered.She sends that text, makes that comment, or pulls something, and instantly, your heart's pounding. You feel shaky.Then you react. Maybe you snap. Maybe you say something you regret.And then the spiral starts.Hours later, you're still thinking about it. You try to focus on work – but you can't. That night, you're awake at 2am, still replaying it.The next day, you're exhausted. Short-tempered. And beating yourself

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10:23

How to Stop Reacting to the Ex's Manipulation // 29

The High Conflict Blueprint | for Stepmoms Dealing... ·

2025/12/16

Imagine the ex tries to manipulate you, and you just... don't react.Instead, you just go about your day. She has no power over you.Sounds nice, right?But that's not what's happening.What's actually happening is this – she says something and immediately you're frustrated. You start explaining. Defending. She comes back with something ridiculous. Now you're angry.And the cycle continues.Here's why you can't seem to stop – you're trying to force yourself to

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14:55

How to Know If You're Being Manipulated by the High...

The High Conflict Blueprint | for Stepmoms Dealing... ·

2025/12/09

You walk away from a conversation with the ex and feel... confused. Guilty, even.You know she was in the wrong. But somehow, by the end of it, you or your partner were apologising.Did she just manipulate you? Or are you just overthinking it?Here's the truth: if you're confused, there's a good chance you're being manipulated.And the worst part is that you start doubting yourself. Maybe you ARE remembering it wrong. Maybe this really IS your fault.But it's not. And toady,

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14:04

When You Keep Doubting Yourself & Wondering If You're...

The High Conflict Blueprint | for Stepmoms Dealing... ·

2025/12/02

There's this question mark that seems to follow you everywhere.It causes you to hesitate before walking into school events. To second-guess when helping the kids with homework."Do I even belong in this family?"You didn't used to feel this way. You came into this relationship confident. Ready to be part of the family. But now you wonder if maybe the ex is right. Maybe you are overstepping. Maybe you’re not helping. Maybe they'd be better off without you.Everyone tells you

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10:56

Should You Leave Your Partner Because of His Toxic...

The High Conflict Blueprint | for Stepmoms Dealing... ·

2025/11/25

You've been pushing the thought away for a while now... “maybe this relationship isn't going to work.” You love him. You're trying. But the high conflict ex creates endless drama, it’s not getting better, and you're starting to wonder if the only way you'll ever feel happy again is if you leave.But you can't decide whether you should stay or go. Both options are painful. So you go back and forth, exhausted by the question.In this episode, I'm giving you a framework

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