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PODCAST

Untethering Shame

New episodes every Sunday! Shame is the fear of not being good enough or worthy of connection and belonging. This silent plague keeps us tethered to the performance, focused on external validation and approval versus internal rooting. It can disrupt every relationship, thought, and experience if left unchecked. And it"s time we say enough. Join licensed mental health therapist, Kyira Wackett, in the quest to build insight and take meaningful and intentional actions as we untether ourselves from

health & fitness mental health

All Episodes

00:06:11

Why Your Kids Can't Make You Happy (And Shouldn't)

Untethering Shame ·

2026/10/09

"I would be so happy if you called more." "You are the only thing that makes my life worth it." These comments sound loving, but underneath they send a message: my happiness depends on you. And that is a burden no child, whether they are 5 or 55, should ever have to carry.Here is the truth. Your kids can add joy to your life, but they cannot be the source of it. Happiness is an inside job.In this episode I unpack how to reclaim your own happiness and let your kids off the

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00:50:50

Shame and Forbidden Curiosity: What It Really Means...

Untethering Shame ·

2026/10/04

Mistress Mia is back, and this conversation goes somewhere the first one didn't.Mia is a Transformative Life Coach, Certified Therapeutic BDSM Practitioner, and Sacred Kink & Intimacy Coach. She is also a founding member of the Kink Professional Standards Alliance and the creator of The ARC Protocol™, a self-development program built around embodiment, resilience, and intentional BDSM.In her first episode, we explored the psychology of power exchange, the Gateway Theory of pain, and how a

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00:04:57

Scared of Growing Old Alone? Don't Put It on Your Kids

Untethering Shame ·

2026/10/02

Many of us hate to admit it, but aging brings real fears. The worry that you are becoming irrelevant, that your kids do not need you anymore, that you are slowly being left behind. And when we do not face those fears ourselves, they quietly get pushed onto our kids through guilt trips, expectations, and even anger.But here is the truth. Those fears are painful, and they are yours to wrestle with. They are not your children's burden to carry. Your kids are not the cure for your loneliness.In this

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00:54:27

Shame and the Lost-Worth Story: Understanding Why We...

Untethering Shame ·

2026/09/27

What if the heaviness you carry, the quiet sense that you are somehow not enough, was never about a flaw in you at all?In this episode I sit down with Dawna Daigneault, a licensed therapist, trauma-informed care specialist, and the creator of Worth-Conscious Theory, for a conversation that goes far deeper than the usual self-help talk about confidence and self-esteem.Dawna's work is built on a radical idea: your worth is a birthright. It is foundational, not earned, and it has to be honored even

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00:04:11

Why Don't My Kids Call Me? (What's Really Going On)

Untethering Shame ·

2026/09/25

Why Don't My Kids Call Me?If you have ever sat by the phone waiting for it to ring, or felt that sting when you realize it has been weeks since you heard from your child, you are not alone.When you ask, "Why don't my kids call me?" what you might really be asking is: Am I being forgotten? Am I becoming irrelevant? Am I losing my place in their life?Those are real human fears, and they are tied to the reality of aging. But here is the truth: those fears are yours to wrestle with. They are not your

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00:45:35

Shame & AI: The Hidden Cost of Communicating Better...

Untethering Shame ·

2026/09/20

We all have two versions of ourselves now. The one who sends the perfect, AI polished email, and the one who stumbles through the meeting five minutes later. In this episode I sit down again with communication coach Salvatore Manzi to talk about what that gap is really costing us, and why AI didn't create our shame around communication, it just turned up the volume on it.We get into why a "neutral" message almost always gets read as negative, the unconscious bias that makes people see AI users as

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00:05:44

You Don't OWE Your Parents Access to Your Kids

Untethering Shame ·

2026/09/18

Once you have kids of your own, a hard expectation can show up: that your parents are automatically owed unlimited access to your children, and that everything painful between you and them should be forgotten now that there are grandkids in the picture. If you have ever heard "you're keeping them from me" or "after everything I did for you," and felt the guilt flood in, this one is for you.I want to be clear with you. Access to your kids is not automatic. It is a privilege, not an entitlement

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00:59:28

Shame & Loss: What Grief Taught Julie Lucas About...

Untethering Shame ·

2026/09/13

"I thought I knew what grief felt like."A year and a half ago, Julie Lucas' husband Tommie left for a work trip and never came home. What she found on the other side of that loss was not the grief she expected — it was the shame of grieving wrong, the guilt of feeling okay, and the strange loneliness of being surrounded by people who love you and don't quite know how to reach you.In this episode, Julie and Kyira talk about the fear that stops most of us from grieving at all: that

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00:04:53

When Your Parent Gives You the Silent Treatment (It's...

Untethering Shame ·

2026/09/11

When your parent goes silent... — if a parent has ever shut you out, given you the cold shoulder, or gone quiet to punish you, this episode is for you.We break down why the silent treatment is so powerful, why their silence is not your fault and not your job to fix, and three real scripts you can use to respond without falling into shame.In this episodeIn this episode of our series on messy parent–child relationships, we cover: Why the silent treatment works — and why it's really about them, not you

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00:58:14

Shame, Meltdowns and Tantrums: Managing Emotions in...

Untethering Shame ·

2026/09/06

Is it defiance, or is it fear?I sit down with Dr. Bethany Bilodeau (Dr. B), an expert in human behavior, to talk about why school refusal, meltdowns, and "non-compliance" are almost always a nervous system that does not feel safe, not a bad kid.Your child plants their feet at the front door. They will not get on the bus. They melt down over a spelling mistake, throw the game board, refuse to walk into a classroom. Everyone around you has a label for it: oppositional, disobedient, manipulative. And

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00:51:53

Shame & Being Single: The Stories We Inherit About...

Untethering Shame ·

2026/08/30

You are not behind. That feeling has a source, and it is older than you are.Being single is not just a relationship status. For a lot of people, it carries a verdict built out of family questions, cultural timelines, and a lifetime of quiet messages about what it means to still be on your own.In this second conversation with clinical psychologist Dr. Amanda Lynne Quinby, Kyira goes after where that verdict comes from—and what believing it actually costs.Amanda names the mechanism most people never

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00:11:54

🎙️ Ask Me Anything – E61: You Already Know What You...

Untethering Shame ·

2026/08/27

Knowing is not the same as changing. And the personal growth industry has blurred that line for a long time.In this AMA episode, I answer an anonymous listener who has understood exactly what they need for years and still cannot act on it. We get into what is actually happening neurologically, where shame makes the gap wider, and what it genuinely takes to move from understanding your patterns to living differently.This one is for everyone who has done the work and is still waiting for it to show up

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00:51:15

Shame, Failing & Regret: When Mistakes Feel Like...

Untethering Shame ·

2026/08/23

What does it really cost us to play it safe? And what do we do with the weight of regret when we realize, too late, how much of our life we spent protecting ourselves instead of living it?In this episode, Kyira sits down with Telana Simpson, Courage Coach, facilitator, and podcast host based in Johannesburg, South Africa. With two decades of coaching experience and a background in psychology, Telana works at the intersection of self-worth, communication, and courage.Together they break down the

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00:12:05

🎙️ Ask Me Anything – E60: The Perfectionism Nobody...

Untethering Shame ·

2026/08/19

Perfectionism Is Not About Being PerfectPerfectionism is not about being perfect. It's about avoiding the feeling of not being enough.In this episode of Untethering Shame, I answer an anonymous listener who wonders why they procrastinate, abandon projects, and only show up when success feels certain.Therapist to therapist: your therapist is right. This is perfectionism, just not the version most people recognize. It operates through strategic not starting and not finishing. Perfectionism's

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00:40:19

Shame & Nervous System Healing: Why It Still Feels...

Untethering Shame ·

2026/08/16

If I understand my triggers, if I've done the work, why does it still feel so hard?In this episode of Untethering Shame, I sit down with Elizabeth Kipp, Stress Management and Historical Trauma Specialist, Certified Addiction Recovery Coach, Ancestral Clearing Practitioner, and international best-selling author of The Way Through Chronic Pain, for our fourth and final conversation in this series. This one got personal fast. We are not talking about the nervous system in theory anymore. We are talking

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00:11:48

🎙️ Ask Me Anything – E59: The 2am Rehearsal (Why You...

Untethering Shame ·

2026/08/14

In this episode of Untethering Shame, I answer an anonymous listener who asks:"I have a list of conversations I've been avoiding. With my partner, with a friend, with my boss, some for months, some for years. I know exactly what needs to be said. I can rehearse the whole thing in my head at 2 a.m. and I still can't make myself have them. Why do I keep avoiding conversations that could actually change things for the better? And how do I stop getting in my own way?"Here's what I

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00:51:54

Shame & Masculinity: Learning Presence Instead of...

Untethering Shame ·

2026/08/09

Why He Says This Is A Waste Of Time"It's not a character flaw, it's a chemical state."In this episode of Untethering Shame, I sit down with Alexander Pujol, a former physician assistant turned performance coach and founder of Quantum Human Performance, to talk about what is actually happening inside a man when he goes cold, shuts down, or tells you the conversation you are trying to have is a waste of his time.Alex has spent eight years working with Division I athletes, ballerinas, golfers, and

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00:12:14

🎙️ Ask Me Anything – E58: Having Needs Doesn't Make...

Untethering Shame ·

2026/08/06

Having a need is not the same as being needy. Those two got conflated so early that for a lot of us they feel identical. They're not.This week's anonymous question: "Every time I try to ask for what I need I either over-explain and justify for twenty minutes, or I say nothing and then explode two weeks later. I was told so many times as a kid that I was too needy that I don't know how to have a need anymore. How do I ask without it being a whole thing?"I break down where the "I'm too much" story

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01:03:29

Shame & Your Symptoms: Why Nothing Is Wrong with You...

Untethering Shame ·

2026/08/02

"The shame is it usually means curing yourself of yourself."In this episode of Untethering Shame, I sit down with David Bedrick, psychotherapist, teacher, and author with more than 35 years of experience working with trauma, shame, addiction, body image, and chronic symptoms. David created The Unshaming Way, an approach that treats painful experiences as meaningful signals rather than problems to fix. This is his second time on the show, and we went somewhere I did not plan for.We start with what it

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00:13:01

🎙️ Ask Me Anything – E57: Too Much and Not Enough at...

Untethering Shame ·

2026/07/29

Do you carry a quiet, persistent feeling that you are somehow too much for some people and not enough for others, no matter how much work you've done? You are not alone. In this episode, we go beneath the strategies and the affirmations to the place where that feeling actually lives.We tackle a question from an anonymous listener:"I've been in therapy. I've read the books. I've done the work, and I still have this deep quiet feeling that I am fundamentally too much for some people and not enough for

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