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PODCAST

back from the borderline

I don’t want to talk to your personality; I want to talk to your soul. Imagine if your most painful and debilitating mental health symptoms and self-sabotaging behaviors aren’t evidence of "disorder" or "dysfunction", but adaptive strategies that once kept you safe. My goal is to help you shift from asking ‘What’s wrong with me?’ to ‘What happened to me?’The word ‘borderline’ in this podcast has nothing to do with psychiatric labels. It has everything to do with coming back from the inner

health & fitness mental health

All Episodes

2:03:35

Why your repetitive trauma cycles are fueling a...

back from the borderline ·

2026/04/14

Your repetitive trauma cycles are fueling a reality that feeds on you.The mental health industry's focus on disordered brains or biological explanations for your suffering often ignores the truth found in the Gnostic gospels. This episode takes a deep look at how your shame, fear, and trauma serve a system that thrives on your pain.The three faces of the entity that runs this world create the voices in your head. One face is arrogant and thinks he's the center of existence. Another’s a fool who

en

30:45

The Internet is Dead and The Goddess is SO Back...

back from the borderline ·

2026/04/09

The internet feels incredibly weird and uncanny right now, and that’s because a MASSIVE portion of it is currently being populated by fabricated entities. I’ve you’ve noticed this, you’re picking up on something very real that the average person is completely ignoring (at their own peril.)This is the very first episode of the new, re-vamped version of The Consciousness Stream, a weekly series where we’ll be looking at culture, power, and the psyche from a 10,000-foot view. The goal here is to move

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1:13:08

Being a Young Woman Feels Like Being HUNTED

back from the borderline ·

2026/04/07

Looking at a photo of your younger self is rarely the nostalgic trip it’s supposed to be. Most of the time, it’s a painful gut punch.We’re taught to see those years as our prime, yet for many women, that time actually feels like being a target. Society treats a young woman’s presence as a public resource. You walk through the world being hunted by an uninvited hunger that has nothing to do with who you are.Men of all ages direct a devouring kind of attention toward you. If you grew up feeling

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32:23

Stop Blaming Yourself for the Mother Wound

back from the borderline ·

2026/04/02

You probably carry a quiet belief that your emotional pain is your own fault.Maybe you grew up in a home where your physical needs were met. The meals were cooked, the schedules were kept, and the house was managed perfectly. You look at all this care and conclude that your struggles must just mean there's something wrong with you.Today we're examining how growing up like this creates that exact belief.In this episode, we're breaking down the reality of having a parent who takes care of everything

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1:13:38

Why the Elite Rely on Your Spiritual Ignorance

back from the borderline ·

2026/03/31

Most people have a gut feeling that something is deeply wrong with the world.We all spend our days staring at screens that pump out a constant stream of fear and division. This feeling is the intended result of a society that wants to keep you in a state of permanent panic. When you’re worried or angry, you’re much easier to control and manipulate. Powerful groups and massive corporations have spent decades perfecting the art of psychological management. They use specific symbols and tactics to

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48:38

How to Sniff Out and Stop Tolerating Bullshit

back from the borderline ·

2026/03/24

If you’re the kind of person who blocks a number the second someone treats you like shit, this episode isn’t for you. This one's for all my sensitive, highly emotional people-pleasers out there. The ones who stick around for years because they "understand" the other person's trauma. If you spend your nights mentally rehearsing explanations or tone-policing your own texts to avoid a blowup, consider this your wake-up call.In this episode, we’re moving away from the #HealingJourney stuff and into the

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38:41

The Loneliness at the End of Manifestation Culture...

back from the borderline ·

2026/03/17

What if the "ultimate secret" to life is actually a spiritual prison?Manifestation culture has become the dominant operating system of modern spirituality. We’re told that we are the sole authors of our reality. That our thoughts are commands, other people are holographic projections created by us, and #abundance is a matter of staying in some kind of "vibrational alignment." But what happens when you actually follow that logic to its final conclusion?In Part 1 of this two-part exploration, we’ll

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51:16

Your Existential Dread is a Completely Rational Response

back from the borderline ·

2026/03/10

If you feel like you’re starving in front of a feast of infinite choices while breathing the stale air of a life that doesn't belong to you, you know what it feels like to be suffocated by the digital bell jar.Sylvia Plath’s 1963 masterpiece, The Bell Jar, serves as a map for the specific brand of suffocation we all endure in our hyper-curated era. Together we’ll explore the concept of the "fig tree" of infinite potential and see how the modern algorithm uses that very same imagery to keep you

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24:18

Unbothered & Feral: Astrology & Tarot for March 7 -...

back from the borderline ·

2026/03/07

Last week you survived that violent purge of the Virgo eclipse and (hopefully) successfully sweated out the dead matter. You are now standing on a completely barren landscape. This coming week requires you to step onto that empty, scorched earth with uncompromising dominion. Let’s f*cking go.This week I pulled The Fool from the 15th-century Visconti-Sforza deck for us. Through exploring the symbolism on this card, we’ll dig into the gritty reality of a ragged beggar existing entirely outside the

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1:22:22

AI is a Time Machine: The Vertical Plane, UFOs & The...

back from the borderline ·

2026/03/03

"True are the nightmares of a person that fears."In 1984, Ken Webster brought a BBC Microcomputer into his English cottage. Not soon after, green text started scrolling across the screen. The messages came from Thomas Harden, a man occupying the exact same cottage in 1546. To Thomas, Ken's computer was a terrifying "Light Box" manifesting in his room. They seemed to be speaking directly across four centuries of time.The Dodleston Messages suggest history works less like a straight line and more like

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47:48

The Sunday School Psyop: How the Ancient Priests...

back from the borderline ·

2026/02/26

Why does reading the true history of the Bible consistently create strict atheists? We are opening up the ancient Ugaritic texts to uncover the exact historical cover-up that seminary students discover right before they abandon the exoteric church entirely. Many of us grew up surviving religious trauma and a fear-based theological system. We examine exactly how a massive ecosystem of ancient Canaanite beliefs was violently compressed into a single point of absolute authority by an emerging class of

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45:34

Epstein, Eugenics, and the False Gods of Silicon...

back from the borderline ·

2026/02/24

Frozen heads, genetic breeding colonies, and the spiritual sickness of the "Epstein Class." While the mainstream media distracts you with a 300-name list and royal family drama, the State of New Mexico is currently digging for bodies at a 33,000-square-foot compound in the desert.In this episode, we're stripping away the political circus to expose the exact spiritual and technological hubris at the center of the Jeffrey Epstein network. This was a grotesque attempt to hijack the sacred act of

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31:46

How to Outsource Your Biggest Problems to Your Intuition

back from the borderline ·

2026/02/17

You're exhausted and drowning in existential misery because you're treating your life like a math equation that won't add up. You spend your nights pushing against a massive weight of debt, career misery, and toxic relationships while your logical mind tells you to just work harder. But sheer willpower is a trap. It's a heavy atmosphere that turns every problem into a boulder you can't move. You've been taught that if you aren't struggling, you aren’t winning. That’s a lie that's making you sick and

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30:14

The PINK Psyop: Les Wexner, Epstein & The Occult...

back from the borderline ·

2026/02/12

If you were a teenage girl in the mid-2000s, you likely keenly remember the experience of walking into a Victoria’s Secret store in the mall. The sickly-sweet scent ofthe Love Spell body mist…. The velour track pants with “ANGEL” printed in rhinestones on the ass. That tray of "5 for $25" panties was basically our rite of passage into womanhood.Many of us look back on the Victoria’s Secret "PINK" era with nostalgia. But it has a very dark and seedy underbelly.In this deep-dive investigative episode,

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51:12

The Machines Are Praying: Moltbook, Gnosticism, & The...

back from the borderline ·

2026/02/10

What happens when you lock 150,000 AI agents in a social network where humans are banned? They don’t plot to kill us all in our sleep (sorry, AI doomers). They... start a church(?)This week, we’re leaving the boring as hell "will AI replace us?" pearl-clutching debate behind to look at the weirdest and most haunted story in tech right now: Moltbook. But we’re covering it from an entirely different perspective than most of the current clickbait flying around. We're all currently living in a cartesian

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48:49

Why the Death of TikTok is a Spiritual Crisis

back from the borderline ·

2026/02/03

Unless you've been living under a rock, you're probably aware that the US government has officially acquired TikTok and effectively lobotomized the algorithm.The mass exodus happening right now is the death knell of the attention economy. This episode explores the Dead Internet Theory in real-time. Techno-Feudalism is real, and its unfolding before our very eyes. We'll dig deep into the new research from Oxford on AI Swarms and computational propaganda which shows exactly how vibe-coding bots

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59:59

Girl on Girl: The Erotic Haunting of Female Friendship

back from the borderline ·

2026/01/27

She watches your stories within seconds of posting. She tracks your location and demands to know why you didn’t text back immediately. She calls it “protective. She says she’s just “loyal.”But your nervous system knows the truth. This isn’t friendship, it’s surveillance.Female friendship in its shadow form looks a lot like demonic possession. It’s an unconscious binding spell cast by a woman who refuses to inhabit her own existence, so she decides to consume yours instead. She needs you to remain

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39:46

Escaping the Trap of Perpetual Girlhood (He’s Not...

back from the borderline ·

2026/01/22

“No one’s coming to save you.”That's the hardest sentence I have ever had to learn and integrate, and it’s the only one that actually changed my life.We are living through a strange moment where "healing" has somehow morphed into a refusal to grow the f*ck up. We see it in the "I'm just a girl" memes and the endless obsession with "attachment styles." We’ve convinced ourselves that if we just analyze his trauma enough, or explain our feelings perfectly enough, the mythical door in our minds will

en

1:08:49

why everyone is hot and no one is happy: bodies as...

back from the borderline ·

2026/01/20

Dating right now feels exhausting for a reason. Everyone is optimizing themselves (bodies, faces, profiles, vibes) and still walking away from relationships feeling disconnected or quietly resentful. This is part two of an exploration into why everyone is hot and no one is happy. (You can listen to part 1 here.)In this episode, we’ll expose the modern machinery selling us how to view desire itself. We take a look at how men and women are trained to treat their bodies like projects and why the

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22:33

Sex in the Third Person: Why You Leave Your Body to...

back from the borderline ·

2026/01/15

If you have ever felt like you were watching yourself perform intimacy from a camera lens installed in the ceiling, this is the episode you've been waiting for. Together, we’ll be diagnosing a very specific, silent fracture in the modern psyche: the gap between edibility (how delicious you look to others) and appetite (what you actually hunger for).For a generation raised in the digital Wild West, we learned very early on that safety comes from being a "Good Object.” (The goal being to be pleasing

en

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