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PODCAST

Absolutely Not, Darling

Sebastian Sterling

Daily doses of life advice from your favourite disaster gay uncle. Sebastian Sterling, a 38-year-old British former West End dancer, delivers harsh truths wrapped in humor and genuine care. New episodes every morning at 7 AM GMT. Submit your questions at loudandfound.com/sebastian

comedy comedy interviews

All Episodes

00:08:00

#16 He Proposed in His Sleep with a Haribo Ring

Absolutely Not, Darling ·

2025/06/29

A listener is 'engaged' to her sleep-talking boyfriend via a Haribo ring. Sebastian advises on the morning-after panic and how to broach this sticky subject. This podcast is a work of fiction. Submit questions at loudandfound.com/sebastian

en

00:08:00

#15 Paralysed by the Pressure of a 'Perfect' Sunday?

Absolutely Not, Darling ·

2025/06/28

Feeling more panic than peace from the 'Sunday Reset' trend? Sebastian helps a listener break free from the tyranny of the to-do list and find a kinder way to recharge. This podcast is a work of fiction. Submit questions at loudandfound.com/sebastian

en

00:08:00

#14 Failing the Gender Test You Didn't Know You Were...

Absolutely Not, Darling ·

2025/06/27

What if you don't feel 'non-binary enough'? Sebastian tackles imposter syndrome and the myth that there's a correct way to express your gender. Spoiler: there isn't one. This podcast is a work of fiction. Submit questions at loudandfound.com/sebastian

en

00:08:00

#13 When Your Wardrobe is a Shrine to Your Failures

Absolutely Not, Darling ·

2025/06/26

Feeling suffocated by a wardrobe full of un-lived lives? Sebastian helps a listener ditch the ghosts of who she thought she should be, and embrace the woman she is—even if she only wears three black jumpers. This podcast is a work of fiction. Submit questions at loudandfound.com/sebastian

en

00:08:00

#12 When Self-Improvement Turns You Into a Sociopath

Absolutely Not, Darling ·

2025/06/25

Your quest for self-improvement has turned you into a joyless robot who terrifies themself in the mirror. Sebastian helps a listener who has optimised their life into misery learn how to ditch the macro-counting and find the fun again. This podcast is a work of fiction. Submit questions at loudandfound.com/sebastian

en

00:08:00

#11 My Uncle Claims My Cat Lacks Mental Capacity

Absolutely Not, Darling ·

2025/06/24

A listener is the executor for a cat's £250k fortune, and the family is furious. How do you fend off lawsuits and loan requests aimed at a Persian cat? Sebastian offers advice on setting firm boundaries. This podcast is a work of fiction. Submit questions at loudandfound.com/sebastian

en

00:08:00

#10 My Promotion Is a High-Paying, Soul-Crushing Lie

Absolutely Not, Darling ·

2025/06/23

A listener's promotion has a bigger paycheque but no job. Sebastian helps figure out if this corporate nonsense is a gift or a trap. This podcast is a work of fiction. Submit questions at loudandfound.com/sebastian

en

00:08:00

#9 He's Practising His Breakup Lines... On a...

Absolutely Not, Darling ·

2025/06/23

A listener finds her boyfriend's dramatic breakup notes, but they're for a character in his favourite video game. Is he a harmless nerd or is this a major red flag? Sebastian helps figure out if it's creative genius or a relationship game over. This podcast is a work of fiction. Submit questions at loudandfound.com/sebastian

en

00:08:00

#8 Resigning as the Unqualified Office Therapist

Absolutely Not, Darling ·

2025/06/22

Eleanor's desk has become a therapy couch for her colleagues, and she's ready to resign. Sebastian offers a masterclass in setting firm but kind boundaries to reclaim your time and sanity. Time to fire yourself from the job you never wanted. This podcast is a work of fiction. Submit questions at loudandfound.com/sebastian

en

00:08:00

#7 I'm Your Mate, Not Your Personal Gay Cliché

Absolutely Not, Darling ·

2025/06/22

When well-meaning support turns you into a walking cliché. After coming out, Luke's mates treat him as their personal queer consultant. Sebastian advises on how to gently remind them you're still a friend, not a stereotype on retainer. Submit your questions at loudandfound.com/sebastian

en

00:08:00

#6 Mourning a Life That's Taking Up All Your Wardrobe...

Absolutely Not, Darling ·

2025/06/22

Isla's walk-in wardrobe is a shrine to a woman who doesn't exist: a high-flying CEO. Sebastian helps her exorcise this power-dressing ghost and find peace with the life (and jumpers) she actually has. Submit your questions at loudandfound.com/sebastian

en

00:08:00

#5 My Manifesting Mantras Have Become Unhinged

Absolutely Not, Darling ·

2025/06/22

A listener's quest to manifest a design career has gone awry, with his affirmations turning into unhinged threats. Sebastian unpacks the tyranny of toxic positivity and offers a gentler path to success that doesn't involve feasting on your rivals. Submit your questions at loudandfound.com/sebastian

en

00:08:00

#4 When You're Asked to Fund Your Brother's 'Dreams'

Absolutely Not, Darling ·

2025/06/22

Your brother is 'finding himself' in Asia on the Bank of Mum and Dad, while you save for a house. Now they want you to fund his new camera? Absolutely not, darling. Sebastian advises on how to say no without being branded the bitter sister.

en

00:08:00

#3 Out of Sight, Out of Mind, and Out of a Promotion?

Absolutely Not, Darling ·

2025/06/22

You're working from home, but it feels more like you've been forgotten. Sebastian helps a listener who's losing out to her hybrid colleagues. It's time to reclaim your career, darling, without sacrificing your sofa.

en

00:08:00

#2 'Too Dramatic' or Is Her Fiancé Just Biphobic?

Absolutely Not, Darling ·

2025/06/22

This week, a listener is left out of her sister's wedding, blamed for being 'too dramatic'. Sebastian suspects something more unsavoury is afoot – namely, a biphobic fiancé. Time to pop the champagne and the truth bubble.

en

00:08:00

#1 Your Friend Got a Mortgage and You Got......

Absolutely Not, Darling ·

2025/06/21

Feeling left behind after another Sunday scroll-a-thon? Leo from Manchester is watching friends buy houses while he feels stagnant. Sebastian pours the tea on the perils of comparison and why your personal timeline is the only one that matters.

en

16 results

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