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PODCAST

Don"t Quote Me ... It"s Probably Nothing

A conspiracy theory podcast for the highly curious and slightly high.Ever find yourself spiraling down a rabbit hole at 2 a.m., questioning pigeons, the calendar, or why your microwave feels off? Same.Don’t Quote Me... It’s Probably Nothing is a solo deep-dive into the internet’s weirdest theories, half-baked history, and the kind of “wait, but what if?” moments that make you side-eye reality. Sometimes there’s a guest. Most of the time, it’s just me, some weed, and way too many tabs open ... in my

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All Episodes

21:16

The Halloween Special: Ghosts, Ghouls & Questionable...

Don"t Quote Me ... It"s Probably Nothing ·

2025/10/31

Grab your candy and lock your doors, it’s the Don’t Quote Me… It’s Probably Nothing Halloween Special!This week, I dive deep into the real origins of Halloween. From ancient Celtic fire festivals to modern-day sugar-fueled chaos and explore the creepiest conspiracy theories that prove humans can’t leave well enough alone.Whether you’re here for the history, the hauntings, or the unhinged humor, this episode’s got it all: witches, capitalism, candy, and chaos.🎶 Song of the Week: “Fashionably Late”

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17:15

Trick or Crime: Halloween Chaos Edition

Don"t Quote Me ... It"s Probably Nothing ·

2025/10/28

This week on True Crime Tuesday, we’re celebrating spooky season the only way we know how ... by mixing true crime, bad decisions, and questionable costume choices.From the infamous Candy Man who poisoned Halloween candy, to a guy who took his Freddy Krueger costume way too seriously, to a murderer who clocked in for work at a haunted house like it was just another Tuesday, and the great Pumpkin Heist of 2017… this episode proves that every Halloween, logic takes the night off.Then we’re closing it

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30:16

Whispers in the Hills: The Cursed Side of Appalachia

Don"t Quote Me ... It"s Probably Nothing ·

2025/10/25

Twenty episodes of chaos ... and we're celebrating by heading straight into cursed territory.From the eerie legends of the Not-Deer and Appalachian Mimics to towns that just vanished off the map, and staircases in the woods that lead to nowhere you should be, we're driving deep into the mountains that hum, watch, and occasionally eat your soul for breakfast.We'll meet the Wampus Cat, Mothman's overworked cousin, and a few Reddit storytellers who made us all decide, "Yeah, I'm never camping

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17:22

True Crime Tuesday: Criminal Masterminds (Who Weren’t)

Don"t Quote Me ... It"s Probably Nothing ·

2025/10/21

This week on True Crime Tuesday, we’re diving into the dark side of dumb, the so-called “criminal masterminds” who forgot to bring their brains to the briefing.From a crypto “genius” who used hotel loyalty points to fund a kidnapping (??),to a criminology student who turned himself into a case study,a Florida teen who kidnapped himself, and a bank robber who threatened everyone with a non-existent bomb; these are the stories that prove intelligence is optional, but chaos is forever.Plus, we’ll close

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41:42

Welcome To Cursedville: Five Towns You Shouldn't...

Don"t Quote Me ... It"s Probably Nothing ·

2025/10/17

This week, we're taking a haunted road trip across America straight into the places maps forgot and ghosts refuse to leave.From the town that's been burning for 60 years to a forest where everyone went mad, a government-seized town shrouded in conspiracies, a cursed gold-mining ghost town, and a frozen Alaskan settlement where the miners vanished overnight. We're exploring five of the creepiest towns in existence.And if that's not enough nightmare fuel, we'll end the journey with a detour to

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14:08

True Crime Tuesday - Dumb Crimes That Escalated Fast

Don"t Quote Me ... It"s Probably Nothing ·

2025/10/14

This week on True Crime Tuesday,we're diving head first into the world of impulsive decisions, chaotic energy, and criminals who clearly didn't think things through.From a gas station theft gone explosively wrong, to a high-speed tractor chase (well, 19mph counts, right?), these are four stories where things went from "eh, it's fine" to "Please, somebody call for backup" in record time.Then, we round things out with theDocket of Dumb. Five headlines proving that stupidity truly knows no borders.Song

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28:06

Don't Mess With Ouija Boards

Don"t Quote Me ... It"s Probably Nothing ·

2025/10/10

What do a stolen cemetery rock, a closet attic door, and a flip phone recording that says "Get out" have in common? Yeah ... we're talking Ouija boards.This week, I dive into the history of the board that somehow went from Victorian parlor game to mass-produced demon portal. We'll talk about where it came from, why it freaks people out, and what happens when you use it completely wrong (like my friends did ... and I still have nightmares about it.)Then we slide straight into the Reddit abyss for

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14:15

True Crime Tuesday - Feasts, Floorboards & WTF

Don"t Quote Me ... It"s Probably Nothing ·

2025/10/07

Welcome to the first-ever True Crime Tuesday, where the cases are weird, the commentary is chaotic, and the only thing scarier than crimes .. are the people committing them.this week, we're serving up three true stories that prove reality is stranger (and dumber) than fiction:A man in India who hosted a "divine" dinner party featuring roasted peacocks. Yes, the national bird. A tenant who discovered a stranger secretly living under her floorboards. And a priest with a potato-related emergency that

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26:29

Frozen Fear & Midnight Knocks

Don"t Quote Me ... It"s Probably Nothing ·

2025/10/05

Send us a text Episode 14 - Frozen Fear & Midnight Knocks In this double-dose of spooky season chills, I'm tackling two of the creepiest mysteries out there. First up: The Dyatlov Pass. Nine Hikers venture into the frozen Ural Mountains in 1959 and never return. Then we shift gears to something a little closer to home. The Black-Eyed Children. This weeks song of the week is "Chasms" by Lucid Havoc Support the show

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22:01

The Unlucky Episode

Don"t Quote Me ... It"s Probably Nothing ·

2025/09/28

Send us a text Episode 13 – The Unlucky Episode Some say 13 is just a number. Others say it’s cursed. In this week’s special “unlucky episode,” we lean all the way in. From Loki crashing a dinner in Valhalla, to presidents daring fate in the 13 Club, to haunted diamonds, demonic wine cabinets, and James Dean’s doomed Porsche, this episode is a sampler platter of all things cursed and chaotic. We’ll also dig into creepy conspiracies like the Philadelphia Experiment (sailors fused into ships, a...

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43:17

Vatican Secrets: Lost Gospels, Hidden Vaults & Papal...

Don"t Quote Me ... It"s Probably Nothing ·

2025/09/21

Send us a text Episode 12 – Vatican Secrets: Lost Gospels, Hidden Vaults & Papal Mysteries What is the Vatican hiding? Is it just dusty paperwork and centuries of church memos … or are there secret gospels, forbidden treasures, and enough scandal to make The Da Vinci Code look like a children’s book? In this episode of Don’t Quote Me… It’s Probably Nothing, I dive headfirst into the conspiracies and mysteries of the Vatican. We’ll talk about: The banned Gospels of Thomas, Mary Magdalene, ...

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33:42

Royal Family Conspiracies: Diana, Reptilians, &...

Don"t Quote Me ... It"s Probably Nothing ·

2025/09/14

Send us a text Episode 11 – Royal Family Conspiracies: Diana, Reptilians & Scandals in the Crown From Princess Diana’s mysterious death (or escape?), to Prince Andrew’s Pizza Express alibi, to theories that Queen Elizabeth was secretly a shape-shifting reptilian — the British monarchy has been fueling conspiracies for centuries. In this episode of Don’t Quote Me… It’s Probably Nothing, I dive headfirst into the chaos: Diana’s death and the theories that she’s still alive Prince Andre...

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35:43

The Grateful Dead: Psycedelics, Spies, and Strange...

Don"t Quote Me ... It"s Probably Nothing ·

2025/09/07

Send us a text Episode 10: The Grateful Dead: Psychedelics, Spies, and Strange Theories What if the Grateful Dead weren’t just a band? What if the tie-dye, the endless jams, and the devoted Deadhead culture were all tangled up with CIA experiments, LSD-fueled “Acid Tests,” and secret deals with the Hells Angels? In this episode of Don’t Quote Me… It’s Probably Nothing, Kelli peels back the psychedelic curtain on one of the most beloved (and bizarre) bands in American history. From MKUltra con...

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40:10

Quantum Immortality and Near Death Time Glitches

Don"t Quote Me ... It"s Probably Nothing ·

2025/08/31

Send us a text Episode 9: Quantum Immortality & Near-Death Glitches What if you never actually die? What if, in every near-death moment, your consciousness just… slides into another timeline where you survive? In this episode, we’re diving into the mind-bending theory of quantum immortality — exploring how the “many worlds” interpretation of physics might explain those wild near-death experiences and reality glitches people swear they’ve lived through. From Reddit stories about impossible...

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30:12

Disney Conspiracy Theories - Magic, Mystery, and...

Don"t Quote Me ... It"s Probably Nothing ·

2025/08/15

Send us a text Get ready to step behind the curtain of the happiest place on earth and dive into some of the wildest Disney conspiracy theories out there! From rumors of Walt Disney being cryogenically frozen (spoiler alert: he wasn't) to hidden adult jokes sneaking into your favorite childhood classics, and even whispers about secret illuminati symbols scattered throughout the parks ... this episode covers it all. I love Disney .. like .. a lot .. and while I don't believe most of these theo...

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41:03

Mysteries in the Mountains: Tales of Appalachian Lore

Don"t Quote Me ... It"s Probably Nothing ·

2025/08/08

Send us a text Episode 7: Mysteries in the Mountains - Tales of Appalachian Lore Step into the misty mountains and winding hollers of Appalachia, where legends come alive and the line between myth and reality blurs. In this episode, we dive deep into the rich tapestry of Appalachian folklore, from the eerie winged Mothman and mysterious banshees to haunted cabins and mountain spirits that have whispered through generations. Discover spooky creatures, haunted places, and age-old traditio...

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20:23

The Satanic Panic

Don"t Quote Me ... It"s Probably Nothing ·

2025/08/03

Send us a text Step back into the wild, weird world of the 1980s. Satanic Panic: when fear, hysteria, and rumors of secret satanic cults rocked America's daycares and living rooms. From daycare drama to media madness, this episode dives deep into one of the most bizarre moral panics in recent history. Want to know how panic spread faster than a bad perm? Tune in to episode 6! Support the show

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22:43

Hollywood Conspiracies: MJ, Secret Societies & Cursed...

Don"t Quote Me ... It"s Probably Nothing ·

2025/07/27

Send us a text Dive into the wild, mysterious, and sometimes spooky world of Hollywood conspiracies. In this episode, we explore the enduring rumors that Michael Jackson might still be alive, uncover the secret society hand signs and symbolism flashing across Tinseltown, and delve into the eerie tales of cursed films where tragedy and mystery haunt the sets. Join me as I unpack the legends, separate fact from fiction, and add a little chaotic humor to Hollywood's most intriguing mysteri...

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36:48

Project Blue Beam

Don"t Quote Me ... It"s Probably Nothing ·

2025/07/20

Send us a text Project Blue Beam — The Ultimate Government Light Show? What if the sky isn’t just the sky? In this episode, I dive deep into Project Blue Beam — the conspiracy theory that claims the government plans to fake an alien invasion or divine event using advanced holograms and mind control technology. Join me as I unpack the origins of the theory, the four wild steps of the alleged plan, the real (and imagined) tech behind it, and why people can’t stop believing in this cosmic mind g...

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28:29

The Gateway Tapes

Don"t Quote Me ... It"s Probably Nothing ·

2025/07/13

Send us a text Episode 3: The Gateway Tapes — Brain Hacking, Astral Travel, and CIA Secrets Ever wonder what happens when 1980s government tech meets cosmic consciousness? In this episode, we dive deep into the Gateway Experience — a CIA-backed brainwave training program using mysterious cassette tapes designed to unlock altered states of mind, out-of-body experiences, and maybe even time travel. Join me as we explore the fascinating story of Robert Monroe, the science behind binaural beats a...

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22 results

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