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PODCAST

This Is Why We Can"t Have A Podcast!

Join us on a heartfelt journey as we explore the unexpected path to becoming best friends. From chance encounters at a theater program to bonding over shared experiences during a pandemic, this episode delves into the laughter, challenges, and deep connections that have shaped our friendship. Discover how a simple trip to Beaver"s Bend turned into a lifelong bond, filled with ups, downs, and everything in between. Tune in for a candid conversation about friendship, life, and the moments that bring

comedy relationships

All Episodes

30:32

Cruise Chaos, Pricing Games & No Patience for Tip...

This Is Why We Can"t Have A Podcast! ·

2026/01/19

🚨🎙️ TODAYS EPISODE: PURE CHAOS, ZERO ELEVATION REQUIREMENTS 🎙️🚨On this episode of This Is Why We Can’t Have a Podcast, Jen and Ashten start by asking the hard-hitting question absolutely no one needed answered: what is the actual difference between a mountain and a hill 🤔⛰️ Spoiler alert: ChatGPT gets involved, feelings get hurt, and we decide it’s less about height and more about ✨attitude✨.From there, we spiral (naturally) into the unhinged world of cruise directors because

en

44:12

Listener Confessions, Divorce Red Flags & The Death...

This Is Why We Can"t Have A Podcast! ·

2026/01/16

🚨🚨 WE DID IT. Our very first Listener Confession has entered the chat… and BABY, IT DID NOT DISAPPOINT. We’re still recovering. Emotionally. Spiritually. Legally.From there, we spiral (naturally) into the Top 10 Reasons People Get Divorced and honestly??? We are CONFUSED how some of these couples even made it to the altar in the first place. Like sir… you hated her dog, her laugh, and her entire existence but still said “I do”?? Bold. Reckless. Unwell.Then Ashten absolutely LOSES IT over

en

40:44

TikTok Lied, TLC Tried Us, Louisiana Confirmed Haunted

This Is Why We Can"t Have A Podcast! ·

2026/01/12

🚨 MONDAY’S EPISODE: ABSOLUTE CHAOS 🚨TikTok decided to personally attack us with a trend that claims your entire year is predicted by the song that was #1 on your 10th birthday. Jen? Blissfully skipping through life with “Walk Like an Egyptian.” Ashten? Emotionally assaulted by “One Sweet Day.” So… that tracks. 🎶🫠Then we spiral straight into a brand-new TLC experiment where normal people are dropped into the Amish community like it’s a reality-TV Hunger Games. Spoiler: we would not

en

42:07

Nigerian Princes, Watching Smut and Jen Has Another...

This Is Why We Can"t Have A Podcast! ·

2026/01/10

🎙️ Episode Description:Well friends… YouTube put us in time-out and honestly? Rude. BUT WE'RE BACK!!This week we spiral (professionally) about our ongoing YouTube troubles, why scammers and catfish are thriving in 2026, and how technology has officially made everyone suspicious of emails, DMs, AND basic human interaction.We deep dive into generational communication differences—why some people call, some people text, and some people just ✨don’t respond✨ and call it self-care.We also learn

en

48:12

2026 Bingo Card, Year of the Horse & Red Boots is OFF...

This Is Why We Can"t Have A Podcast! ·

2026/01/05

🎙️ NEW YEAR, SAME CHAOS 🎉New year… new resolutions… same unhinged hosts.This episode Jen & Ashten absolutely spiral over our own New Year’s resolutions (spoiler: accountability was not invited). We break down the most common resolutions everyone swears they’ll keep (working out, saving money, drinking water 🙄) and then dive headfirst into the MOST unhinged resolutions we’ve ever heard—including deciding you’re getting married no matter what this year (??? ma’am???) and buying a pet

en

38:56

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

This Is Why We Can"t Have A Podcast! ·

2025/12/26

In this episode, the hosts discuss a variety of topics ranging from beauty trends and personal experiences with Botox to the significance of vision boards and journaling. They share their thoughts on the importance of handwritten letters and personal connections, before diving into a shocking kidnapping case that raises questions about parental abduction. The conversation also touches on the influence of cults and concludes with reflections on popular TV shows and their impact on personal

en

36:12

Merry Christmas, Baby!

This Is Why We Can"t Have A Podcast! ·

2025/12/22

In this episode of 'This Is Why We Can't Have a Podcast,' Jen and Ashten discuss the joys and challenges of Christmas traditions, the importance of friendship, and the dynamics of their relationships. They share personal stories, explore unique holiday customs from around the world, and reflect on the significance of maintaining connections with loved ones. The conversation is filled with humor, warmth, and candid moments, offering listeners a relatable and entertaining experience.

en

35:55

Gone With The Wind, Dead Weight and Our New Nail Salon?

This Is Why We Can"t Have A Podcast! ·

2025/12/19

🎙️ This Is Why We Can’t Have a Podcast — Episode Drop 🎙️In this episode, Jen & Ashten spiral immediately and never recover. We start with a very serious adult problem: why windshield wipers only have “too slow,” “panic mode,” and “I guess we’re hydroplaning.” From there, we dream about luxury cars we absolutely do not need, complain about the audacity of car payments, and announce that in a perfect world we are both wildly rich and mildly unhinged.Then things escalate.Ashten presents

en

39:29

Cat Doula, What Were We Singing and Why Two Socks??

This Is Why We Can"t Have A Podcast! ·

2025/12/15

In this episode, the hosts discuss a variety of topics ranging from the excitement of new kittens to nostalgic millennial music and the emotional connections tied to favorite Christmas movies. They share personal stories about family traditions, holiday preparations, and the sometimes scary realities of the holiday season. The conversation flows into deeper reflections on music's role in processing emotions and memories, particularly around the holidays.

en

37:37

CRIME SCENES, NOT-GUILTY NONSENSE & DEMI MOORE’S...

This Is Why We Can"t Have A Podcast! ·

2025/12/12

Welcome back to the podcast where logic comes to die and chaos pays rent.This week, Ashten admits that crime scene photos have ruined her life because now she feels morally obligated to keep her house spotless in case she’s murdered and doesn’t want to be humiliated post-mortem by dusty blinds and a rogue Chick-Fil-A cup.Then we deep-dive into the existential true-crime crisis of:When someone gets found “not guilty”… does law enforcement just go, “Welp, mystery solved, lunch?”Like HELLO?

en

38:13

Weather Woes, Pregnant Cats & Holiday Road Rage

This Is Why We Can"t Have A Podcast! ·

2025/12/08

A snowball of chaos hosted by Jen & the perpetually over-caffeinated AshtenHold on to your Santa hats, because this episode has everything no one asked for but desperately needed:• ❄️ The weather is colder than Ashten’s heart before coffee• 🐈 Jen’s cat pulled a “surprise! I’m knocked up!” plot twist• 🚗 Road rage confessions that will have the DMV reconsidering our licenses• 🔧 Car maintenance? Never heard of her.• 🤼‍♂️ A deep dive into why 80s wrestling was basically soap operas with

en

37:43

Cruise Craziness, Angel Tree Drama & Priorities

This Is Why We Can"t Have A Podcast! ·

2025/12/05

Hold on to your hats because today we are all over the map! Our video is blurry and we're barely on the rails but we are here ready to entertain!

en

34:29

Too Loud At The Football Game & Urban Cowboy Surprise

This Is Why We Can"t Have A Podcast! ·

2025/12/01

In this episode, the hosts engage in light-hearted banter about football, share amusing anecdotes about a cat attack, and delve into the emotional rollercoaster of planning a surprise birthday party. They reflect on personal milestones, discuss the significance of December for engagements and breakups, and explore the complexities of family dynamics in relationships. The conversation wraps up with a humorous take on social media communication challenges.

en

30:25

The Wind Down After The Food Coma....

This Is Why We Can"t Have A Podcast! ·

2025/11/28

Don't expect much from us today - we are in full self-care mode! Get your face masks and lavender ready and laugh along with our ridiculousness!

en

32:12

THANKSGIVING!

This Is Why We Can"t Have A Podcast! ·

2025/11/24

In this lively conversation, the hosts discuss the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday and personal milestones, including a significant birthday and a wedding in the family. They reflect on life transitions, the challenges of caregiving, and the importance of choosing the right partner in marriage. The conversation also touches on Thanksgiving traditions and food preferences, leading to a humorous rant about customer service experiences at Sonic. Throughout, the themes of gratitude, connection,

en

39:19

Better Late Than Never.....Right?

This Is Why We Can"t Have A Podcast! ·

2025/11/15

The conversation revolves around the humorous and light-hearted discussion of what names future grandchildren might call their grandmother, with a focus on the implications of age and identity in familial roles.TakeawaysThe choice of grandma names can reflect generational attitudes.Humor plays a significant role in family discussions.Names can carry cultural and personal significance.The idea of being a 'young' grandmother is subjective.Family dynamics often influence naming

en

34:14

Widow Box, Fights with AI and Technical Difficulties

This Is Why We Can"t Have A Podcast! ·

2025/11/10

Welcome back to another episode where Jen and Ashten try to have structured adult conversation and instead derail into twelve topics, three emotional spirals, and one government scandal. 🎙️💥We start with time management and somehow end up discussing: • AI judging us like it pays our bills. • Music therapy aka crying in the car like the main character. • The CIA spending MILLIONS trying to turn HOUSE CATS into SECRET AGENTS (someone approved that???). • TikTok

en

32:26

We’re Budgeting, Blushing, and Bewildered

This Is Why We Can"t Have A Podcast! ·

2025/11/07

Welcome back to another episode of unhinged bestie logic, where one of us is thriving in No Spend November (it’s Jen, shockingly ) and the other one is currently explaining why a Stanley cup in a new color is an emotional need, not a purchase (hi, it’s Ashten 🥲).In this episode we cover:💸 No Spend November — where it came from, who started it, and why we should probably sue them.💄 Full Glam Every Day Women:You know those women who wake up, contour, blend, bake, and sparkle before

en

33:26

We Said We’d Be Calm… We Lied

This Is Why We Can"t Have A Podcast! ·

2025/11/03

We swore this was going to be a soft, cozy, pumpkin-spice-flavored episode.You know… gentle vibes, a light breeze, maybe a candle lit, maybe us pretending we meditate.Yeah. No.We immediately spiraled.We start with November birthdays and somehow convince ourselves they are the main characters of the zodiac (they are… but like, relax). Then we slide straight into holiday traditions — the ones we lovingly keep doing even though everyone in the room is one green bean casserole away from

en

30:25

Hot Takes & Hocus Pocus: The Halloween Episode

This Is Why We Can"t Have A Podcast! ·

2025/10/31

This week, we’re knee-deep in Halloween nostalgia, debating the Great Trunk-or-Treat Crisis of Modern Parenting™, and asking the important questions… like why are we all dressing our toddlers as pumpkins when we KNOW they’re feral raccoons at heart?We’re talking:• The glory days of running wild in the dark with a pillowcase full of sugar• Why Trunk-or-Treat feels like Halloween with training wheels• The costumes our parents should’ve gone to jail for letting us wear• And yes… we let ChatGPT

en

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