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PODCAST

This Is Why We Can"t Have A Podcast!

Join us on a heartfelt journey as we explore the unexpected path to becoming best friends. From chance encounters at a theater program to bonding over shared experiences during a pandemic, this episode delves into the laughter, challenges, and deep connections that have shaped our friendship. Discover how a simple trip to Beaver"s Bend turned into a lifelong bond, filled with ups, downs, and everything in between. Tune in for a candid conversation about friendship, life, and the moments that bring

comedy relationships

All Episodes

38:10

Parenting Confessions, Old-School Cars & Wild Crimes

This Is Why We Can"t Have A Podcast! ·

2026/03/27

This week, we’re all over the place—and honestly, we wouldn’t have it any other way 😂We kick things off with a painfully relatable Confessional Friday about moms just trying to get ONE second alone (yes, even in the bathroom). From there, we dive into the reality of parenting burnout, the pressure of always being “on,” and why taking time for yourself isn’t selfish—it’s survival.Then… we spiral (in the best way).We’re talking 90s nostalgia, ashtrays in cars, random music phases (hello

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45:51

Grandma Hobbies, Fever Texts & The Madison

This Is Why We Can"t Have A Podcast! ·

2026/03/23

This week is pure chaos in the best way. We’re back after a short break and catching up on everything — from fever-delusion flu stories and accidental unfiltered texts, to TikTok adventures, sewing-machine dreams, onesie drama, and why recording together always goes off the rails. We also get into the emotional weight of The Madison, the little things grief teaches you, making memories with the people you love, and of course a few completely unhinged side quests along the way. Basically:

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52:19

Flavorless Prisons, Clogging Icks & Why Vulnerability...

This Is Why We Can"t Have A Podcast! ·

2026/03/13

This week, Jen and Jamie are all over the place in the best possible way 😂 From a hilarious anonymous confession about faking a garlic-and-onion intolerance to survive a terrible cook of a mother-in-law, to a full breakdown of personal relationship “icks,” Facebook algorithm chaos, and the emotional risks of vulnerability, this episode goes everywhere. They also dive into grief, emotional walls, oversharing, growing through trauma, and the weird ways life forces people to toughen up. It’s

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39:03

90's Fashion, Ghost Computers, & Dangling in the Sky

This Is Why We Can"t Have A Podcast! ·

2026/03/09

This week, we are absolutely all over the place — from the return of questionable 90s fashion and lingerie-inspired trends, to creepy time-travel computer messages from the 1500s, to a real-life hot air balloon rescue that unlocked a brand new fear. We also spiral into Dr. Phil documentaries, Darryl Hannah drama, true crime rabbit holes, deep-fake paranoia, frozen rich people, and the kind of wild side conversations that somehow make perfect sense only to us. Basically: fashion opinions,

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36:21

The Zoomies: Toddler Takeover Edition

This Is Why We Can"t Have A Podcast! ·

2026/03/06

Listener Confession Friday takes a turn into pure chaos in this episode. What starts as a thoughtful message from Amy about people-pleasing, overthinking, and the emotional weight of trying to keep everyone happy quickly spirals into the kind of unpredictable conversation that only this podcast can produce. From setting boundaries and friendship dynamics to wild celebrity conspiracies, Jim Carrey theories, and late-night rabbit holes about the Hunger Games, nothing is off limits.Add in a

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39:26

Toddler Toilet Training, Dark Coping Jokes, & Midlife...

This Is Why We Can"t Have A Podcast! ·

2026/03/02

This week we spiral (lovingly) into: toddler potty training panic—specifically the boy-math of standing to pee 🚽😂, the very real anger + humor that can come with grief, and why dating in your 40s feels like stepping into an entirely different universe.We also end with rapid-fire questions: phrases we’re already sick of, trends we refuse to fake-love, and the most relatable “I’m getting older” moment (hello, night driving glare 🥲).📩 Send us your Listener Confessions / “You won’t believe

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54:15

The Story You've Been Waiting For, Root Canals &...

This Is Why We Can"t Have A Podcast! ·

2026/02/27

Jen rolls into the mic fresh off an emergency root canal—half-numb, fully committed—so Ashton has to carry the chaos 😂. First up: a listener confession from Jen herself, featuring “Widow Rella,” the headstone business meeting from hell, and a married man who got WAY too comfortable sending after-hours texts (including a midnight “thinking about you” that sends the red flags into orbit).Then the episode takes a hard turn into true-crime disbelief: the North Carolina mom who vanished in 2001

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40:09

Your Brain’s a Drama Queen, Tornado Anxiety, & Stress...

This Is Why We Can"t Have A Podcast! ·

2026/02/23

Spring is springing 🌼—the weather is perfect, daffodils are popping up everywhere, and somehow that turns into a full spiral about tornado anxiety, storm shelters, and why our brains refuse to relax 😩😂.This week, Jen and Ashten go from “coquette ruffles and naked lady flowers” to 10 dark, lesser-talked-about psychology facts that hit way too close to home: being addicted to stress, why your brain clings to negative memories, how anxiety can masquerade as intuition, why people stay in

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43:12

Confessions, Comment Sections & Full Unc Status

This Is Why We Can"t Have A Podcast! ·

2026/02/20

This week’s episode is giving chaos, confession, commentary… and full unc status energy 😌🎙️We kick things off with a listener confession that takes us to a muddy cancer benefit parking lot, a golf cart, a dark rainy night… and a dent that may or may not have been confessed to. 👀🚗 Is it karma? Is it survival? Is it community service credit? We debate.From there, we spiral (naturally) into:The absolute savagery of Facebook comment sections 🍼💀The funniest mugshot reactions the internet

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40:52

🎙️ Press Play & Pray: 80s Fever Dreams, Friendship...

This Is Why We Can"t Have A Podcast! ·

2026/02/16

In this chaotic (and completely on-brand) episode of This Is Why We Can’t Have a Podcast, Jen and Ashten launch their brand-new segment “Jen’s Fever Dream Jukebox” — where they react to iconic (and slightly unhinged) music videos from the past. First up? The 80s one-hit wonder “Into the Night”… and let’s just say 👀 things get awkward fast. Between payphone serenades, magic carpet rides, and questionable age gaps, the girls ask the important question: How did we think this was romantic

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45:20

Love is Dead, The Dog Ate My Jewelry, & The Lottery...

This Is Why We Can"t Have A Podcast! ·

2026/02/13

Love is Dead, The Dog Ate My Jewelry, & The Lottery Husband RitualBuckle up, chaos gremlins, because this episode started with a plan and ended in a full-blown existential crisis. We kick things off with our absolute favorite new segment, Listeners Confessions, and let’s just say some of you need a priest, a lawyer, or at least a better hiding spot for your browser history.We also announce our brand new Monday segment—a weekly dose of unhinged, concentrated chaos that only the two of us

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37:12

Kitchen Table Gossip, Diet Culture Lies, and Why...

This Is Why We Can"t Have A Podcast! ·

2026/02/09

What starts as a simple debate over pineapple on pizza 🍍🍕 immediately spirals into Weight Watchers trauma 🧮, big-hair nostalgia 💇‍♀️, diet culture lies 😵‍💫, and the deeply unwell beauty standards of the 90s/early 2000s 👖✨.In this episode, the hosts unpack everything from zero-point mushrooms 🍄 and post-weigh-in sabotage lunches 🌮🍟 to perms, bangs, and the emotional damage of low-rise jeans 😭. They also get into Kelly Clarkson news 🎤, Kelly Osbourne discourse 👀, celebrity body

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36:43

Mixed Signals, Messy Investigations, and Mascot Madness

This Is Why We Can"t Have A Podcast! ·

2026/02/06

This week’s Listener Confession Friday takes a sharp left turn into private-investigator territory 🕵️‍♀️ when an anonymous listener admits just how far they went to get the one thing no one would give them: a straight answer. What starts as unanswered texts and vague replies spirals into church livestreams ⛪, Instagram sleuthing 📸, and the kind of detective work that would make the FBI say, “okay… maybe chill.”From there, Jen and Ashten unpack why people are so allergic to direct

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31:17

Halftime Hijinks, Purple Rain & Creative Ways to Show...

This Is Why We Can"t Have A Podcast! ·

2026/02/02

This week we solve absolutely nothing… but loudly.We start off by discussing unresolved beef with people who don’t even know they’re in beef with us. You know the kind. No fight. No argument. Just vibes. Bad ones. And somehow we think the best conflict resolution strategy is walking up to someone and saying:“What’s your problem?”Which, historically, has never escalated anything. Ever. 🙂From there we spiral into parenting stories where we admit that half of parenting is just trying not to

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39:08

Episode 50: Vehicular Irritation, Divorce Diaries,...

This Is Why We Can"t Have A Podcast! ·

2026/01/30

This episode starts exactly how you’d expect from two Texas women personally victimized by ice: road rage, sliding vehicles, and what we are now officially calling VEHICULAR IRRITATION. If you’ve ever white-knuckled a steering wheel while judging every other driver’s life choices, welcome home.Then we hit a Listener Confession that is so diabolically organized it honestly deserves a filing cabinet and a paralegal. A sweet angel of a woman has been keeping a running diary of grievances in

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33:19

Morning People Are Psycho, Super Moms and It Ends...

This Is Why We Can"t Have A Podcast! ·

2026/01/26

This episode starts innocent enough with a simple question:If you could only listen to ONE movie soundtrack for the rest of your life… what is it?And somehow… SOMEHOW… we end up spiraling into a full psychological breakdown about super moms, sleep schedules, and why it is deeply offensive when their husbands admire them too.Like sir???You see her packing organic lunches at 5:12am and you’re impressed??We are over here eating cheese sticks and drinking coffee like raccoons with Wi-Fi.We

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37:03

Say Something Nice or Remain Silent (We Spiraled...

This Is Why We Can"t Have A Podcast! ·

2026/01/23

🎙️ Episode: “Say Something Nice or Remain Silent (We Spiraled Instead)”📅 January 24 – Compliment DayThis episode is sponsored by movie rentals, emotional damage caused by the 90s, and men who will never live up to Patrick Swayze. 🕯️💃🫠We kick things off with a Listener Confession from Tina Green, who bravely admits that every time she listens to us, it directly impacts her husband’s bank account. 🎬💸 Between Seven Brides for Seven Brothers (Ashten is RIGHT—Ben is the hottest), Gone

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30:32

Cruise Chaos, Pricing Games & No Patience for Tip...

This Is Why We Can"t Have A Podcast! ·

2026/01/19

🚨🎙️ TODAYS EPISODE: PURE CHAOS, ZERO ELEVATION REQUIREMENTS 🎙️🚨On this episode of This Is Why We Can’t Have a Podcast, Jen and Ashten start by asking the hard-hitting question absolutely no one needed answered: what is the actual difference between a mountain and a hill 🤔⛰️ Spoiler alert: ChatGPT gets involved, feelings get hurt, and we decide it’s less about height and more about ✨attitude✨.From there, we spiral (naturally) into the unhinged world of cruise directors because

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44:12

Listener Confessions, Divorce Red Flags & The Death...

This Is Why We Can"t Have A Podcast! ·

2026/01/16

🚨🚨 WE DID IT. Our very first Listener Confession has entered the chat… and BABY, IT DID NOT DISAPPOINT. We’re still recovering. Emotionally. Spiritually. Legally.From there, we spiral (naturally) into the Top 10 Reasons People Get Divorced and honestly??? We are CONFUSED how some of these couples even made it to the altar in the first place. Like sir… you hated her dog, her laugh, and her entire existence but still said “I do”?? Bold. Reckless. Unwell.Then Ashten absolutely LOSES IT over

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40:44

TikTok Lied, TLC Tried Us, Louisiana Confirmed Haunted

This Is Why We Can"t Have A Podcast! ·

2026/01/12

🚨 MONDAY’S EPISODE: ABSOLUTE CHAOS 🚨TikTok decided to personally attack us with a trend that claims your entire year is predicted by the song that was #1 on your 10th birthday. Jen? Blissfully skipping through life with “Walk Like an Egyptian.” Ashten? Emotionally assaulted by “One Sweet Day.” So… that tracks. 🎶🫠Then we spiral straight into a brand-new TLC experiment where normal people are dropped into the Amish community like it’s a reality-TV Hunger Games. Spoiler: we would not

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66 results

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