The Unlearning Room

Conflict doesn’t have to mean combat. In this episode of The Unlearning Room, we explore what happens when frustration turns into criticism — and how to shift from attack to authentic connection. You’ll learn the difference between a complaint and a criticism, how to recognize your body’s response when shame or defensiveness shows up, and practical tools to pause, regulate, and repair — even when the conversation spirals. We’ll also unpack what to do when self-reflection feels heavy or shame-...

Unlearning Suicide as Selfish: Flight, Not Fight We’ve been taught to call suicide selfish — but what if that story is wrong and harmful? In this deeply personal episode, I share my own suicide attempt and the years that followed through the lens of nervous system science and parts work (IFS). We’ll explore how suicidal despair isn’t aggression or fight — it’s the furthest edge of the flight response: a last, desperate attempt to escape pain. Together, we’ll unlearn shame and examine why blam...

Blame feels powerful—it promises safety by pointing fingers. But beneath that noise is shame, fear, and disconnection. In this episode of The Unlearning Room, Mary-Cat (aka Cecily May) unpacks how blame masquerades as accountability—online, in our families, and in our closest relationships—and why it keeps us divided instead of connected.You’ll hear: ✨ A personal story of growing up in a blame-saturated home. ✨ How shame and ego work together to fuel the blame reflex. ✨ The B.L.A.M.E. acronym for

What if you’re not one “true self,” but a whole system of voices, impulses, and feelings? In this episode of The Unlearning Room, I explore Internal Family Systems (IFS) and the idea that multiplicity is the norm. We’ll talk about: – Everyday “parts” and how they shape our choices and relationships – The difference between empathy (which can drain us) and compassion (which sustains us) – How IFS reframes attachment styles as parts strategies – Why re-parenting ou...

What happens when the career or calling you thought was “it”… no longer fits? In this episode, I share my own pivots — from nearly two decades as a military spouse, to motherhood, to coaching, to retail, and now exploring corporate paths. Along the way, I’ve had to redefine what “success” really means. We’ll talk about: • Why careers (like names) can become masks we hide behind. • How hustle culture and “shoulds” push us out of regulation. • The nervous system toll of chasin...

Who are you beyond the names you’ve been given? Beyond the labels, roles, or masks you’ve carried to keep others comfortable? In this week’s episode of The Unlearning Room, I explore the many names I’ve worn — from Patricia Ann (for one hour at birth), to Mary Catherine (my legal name), to Cecily May (the name I created as a compass and container for my voice). I share the story of how names shaped my belonging, identity, and even sense of safety, and what it means to step into the version of...

In this episode of The Unlearning Room, we’re talking about the messy, awkward, and beautifully human side of starting something new — and why comparison can rob us of the joy in it and growth from it. I’ll share personal reflections on launching this podcast, why our human wiring makes comparison so tempting, and practical ways to anchor yourself when you feel pulled into measuring your worth against someone else’s highlight reel. If you’ve ever held back because you didn’t feel “ready enoug...

In this very first episode of The Unlearning Room, Cecily invites you into the heart of what this podcast is all about: slowing down, getting curious, and challenging the scripts we've been handed. From perfectionism to power dynamics, this isn't just about self-help-- it's about self-leadership. You'll hear reflections on what it means to unlearn, why this process is both quiet and revolutionary, and how unlearning becomes a powerful path toward internal trust and relational health. Wh...