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PODCAST

Back Porch Btchn Podcast

A Southern conversational podcast hosted by Patryck that blends southern charm with honesty about life, mental health, dating, and modern culture. Each episode features "Porch Mail: Y"all"s Bitching" where listeners submit complaints for Patryck to validate and expand on, followed by deep dives into topics like personal growth, gay dating in small communities, social media toxicity, and the messy reality of being human. With his signature mix of self-deprecating humor and genuine insight, Patryck

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All Episodes

00:51:11

Season Finale: Christmas, Chaos and Consumerism

Back Porch Btchn Podcast ·

2025/12/24

The Final Episode of Season 1 - A Christmas Special About Capitalism, Family Dysfunction, and Why You're Doing This to Yourself.In the uproarious season finale of Back Porch Bitching, host Patryck wraps up the year with laughs, rants, and enough holiday chaos to fill Santa's sleigh. Kicking off with a heartfelt shoutout to fans and guests, he dives into the absurdity of holiday spending and the infamous family gatherings.Patryck hilariously critiques the insane amounts of money dropped on

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00:31:47

Flashers On, Brains Off - A Holiday Survival Guide

Back Porch Btchn Podcast ·

2025/12/10

Episode 14: Flashers On, Brains Off - A Holiday Survival GuidePatryck is BACK after battling a respiratory infection (survived COVID and the holidays only to get taken out by a basic cold) and he's got THOUGHTS about the holiday season.This week's chaos:Snow Drama: People who can't drive in snow but insist on going 3 mph with flashers on, plus essential workers risking their lives while others work from their couch in pajamas (sit DOWN)Porch Mail delivers:The Starbucks bear cup frenzy

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00:33:55

Turkey, Trauma, and Aunt Jean's Diabetic Toe

Back Porch Btchn Podcast ·

2025/11/26

Y'all Better Sit Down for This One: Episode 13 Thanksgiving SpecialHoney, Patryck is serving up a Thanksgiving survival guide hotter than a deep fryer in someone's driveway (don't do that, by the way - you'll burn your whole house down).What you're getting into:This episode is your field guide to surviving Thanksgiving with your sanity mostly intact. We're talking about the whole blessed mess - from work potlucks where you don't trust nobody's kitchen, to that one

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00:25:43

Your Opinion Ain't The Gospel (And Neither Is Mine)

Back Porch Btchn Podcast ·

2025/11/12

This week Patryck is DONE with people who think their opinion is the only one that matters:✨ "Respectfully" being the most disrespectful word in corporate speak ✨ People who think going through something makes them the expert on YOUR life ✨ When did we stop having conversations and start making demands?Porch Mail is SPICY:Richmond's whitewashed progressive movementCyclists yelling "ON YOUR LEFT" like it's a declaration of warThe truth bomb: Opinions are like assholes -

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00:28:39

Sexy Plumbers and Demon Twinks

Back Porch Btchn Podcast ·

2025/10/29

Episode 11: Patryck is taking on sexy Halloween costumes and we are DYING 💀What’s scarier than a haunted house? Stretch marks with a Michael Myers mask. C-section scars and a sexy nun costume. A sexy plumber who’s going to “sexily unclog your toilet.” Make it make sense!This week’s chaos: Gay men with costumes so specific they need a PowerPoint to explain (Cindy Crawford’s mole? The wine stain from the 2003 VMAs??) Straight men pretending they didn’t spend 45 minutes on that contour Ryan Murphy

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00:14:20

Spooky Stories: The Vanishing Ghost Car of Cooper...

Back Porch Btchn Podcast ·

2025/10/28

February 24, 1946. A family of five waves at passing strangers as they cross Charleston's Cooper River Bridge. Seconds later, a drifting ship slams into the bridge. A 240-foot span collapses. The green Oldsmobile plunges 150 feet into the water below.For decades afterward, drivers reported seeing that same green Olds on the bridge—stopping and starting erratically. Those who got close enough saw five pale figures inside: lifeless, staring, frozen in death.Then the car would simply vanish.When

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00:33:50

Three-Day Hangovers and Sacred Bedrooms

Back Porch Btchn Podcast ·

2025/10/22

Your 30s are WEIRD and nobody warned us, so Patryck is breaking it all down:Why do hangovers last 3 days now? Why is your bedroom suddenly off-limits to everyone including yourself? Why do you need a month to mentally prepare for hosting? And why does every dating app conversation feel like a job interview about your five-year plan?This episode covers: ✨ The switch that flips at 30 🍺 Three-day hangover recovery protocols 🏠 Home buying chaos 💀 Dating pools that make you want to stay single forever

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00:14:36

Spooky Stories: The Hole That Won't Stay Filled

Back Porch Btchn Podcast ·

2025/10/21

In 1864, Methodist preacher Bill Skeeto spoke out against the Confederacy and paid a substitute to fight so he could nurse his dying wife. The town called him a deserter and a coward.On a cold November day, men he thought were friends ambushed him by the Choctawhatchee River. They hanged him from an oak tree, but Bill was so tall his toes touched the ground. So they dug a hole beneath his feet with a crutch—and watched him slowly strangle to death.Bill's final words: "If you hang me here, you will

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00:35:40

Brewery Btchn

Back Porch Btchn Podcast ·

2025/10/15

Back Porch Bitching Episode 9: "Brewery Btchn"Y'all, Patryck did something DIFFERENT this week - he brought the microphone to a local brewery and recorded a completely unfiltered conversation with friends David and Katherine on a Saturday night. Why did we think this was a good idea?What happens when you mix beer + real talk + a recording device?We're talking about:Finding authenticity by mixing personal and professional personasFist fighting (yes, you read that right)Women's

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00:15:21

Spooky Stories: Death Lights in the Tower

Back Porch Btchn Podcast ·

2025/10/14

In 1830s Tuscaloosa, the grand Drish Mansion stood as a symbol of wealth and status. But behind its white columns lived dark secrets—a cruel, alcoholic doctor who died fleeing his own demons, and a proper Southern wife determined to maintain appearances at any cost.Before her death, Mrs. Drish made one request: burn the same candles at her funeral that had surrounded her husband's coffin. But when those candles couldn't be found, the faithful servants knew what would happen—"Mrs. Drish

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00:26:28

The Single Friend Hunger Games

Back Porch Btchn Podcast ·

2025/10/08

This week Patryck is diving into the uncomfortable truth nobody talks about - the unspoken competition that happens when you and your single friends are out in the same dating pool.When you're gay in a small area, the dating pool is already tiny. Add another single friend into the mix and suddenly you're navigating weird tension, competing for attention, and trying to figure out who gets to pursue the cute guy who just walked over.Plus the nightmare scenario we've all experienced:

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00:17:06

Spooky Stories: Face in the Courthouse Window

Back Porch Btchn Podcast ·

2025/10/07

This is part one of a mini series for the month of October! Y'all, we're doing something DIFFERENT this October...Back Porch Bitching Presents: Spooky Stories A Limited Spooky Season SeriesThat's right - Patryck is trading complaints for hauntings and bringing you the creepiest, most unsettling tales from down South. Because nothing says October like ghost stories told from an actual back porch where things definitely go bump in the night.This story takes place in a small town in

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00:28:13

Social Media is Killing Us All

Back Porch Btchn Podcast ·

2025/09/24

Get ready for some truth bombs! 💣This week Patryck is DRAGGING social media culture and we are absolutely HERE for it! But it's not just shade - Patryck shares the most beautiful story about disagreeing with a friend and STILL ending with "I love you, bro." Plus why listening to "Amazing Grace" on repeat made him realize we're all missing the point about showing each other grace online.Think you can handle some hard truths about cancel culture, fact-checking fails, and why we're all trying so hard

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01:00:10

Katie's Got Stories: Divorce, Dating and Discovering...

Back Porch Btchn Podcast ·

2025/09/17

Honey, let me tell you about my girl Katie - this woman is living her BEST life and has some stories to share! From bouncing back after her divorce like the queen she is, to dating some interesting fellas (bless their hearts and their... creative tattoo choices), Katie's been on quite the adventure. Now she's discovered a whole new side of herself and is exploring dating women for the first time - and y'all, she is THRIVING! Katie's out here navigating these dating streets with style

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00:29:50

Southern Baptist Shame

Back Porch Btchn Podcast ·

2025/09/03

Episode 5: Southern Baptist Shame - where I spill the tea about my church neighbors from hell, including Pastor Problematic and his "progressive" views, plus Mailbox Murderin' Melvin who demolished my mailbox and tried to flee the scene!Also featuring listener mail from Kentucky (Ozempic jingles are ruining our childhood songs!) and Virginia (sorry, but we will NOT be slandering rain appreciation in the South - that's sacred territory!).Grab your bourbon and settle in for some neighborhood drama,

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00:21:55

Live, Laugh, Leave Me Alone

Back Porch Btchn Podcast ·

2025/08/27

Episode 4: "Live, Laugh, Leave Me Alone" is here and I went OFF on all the tired home decor trends that need to DIE.What we covered:Rae Dunn font obsession (your dishwasher doesn't need a label!)The color "griege" aka meth teeth beige 🦷Barn doors that ruin your sex lifeSigns that explain what room you're in (are we running a hospital?!)Massive TVs on tiny Walmart tablesThe monsters who covered gorgeous hardwood with linoleum PLUS: "Porch Mail: Y'all's

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00:18:53

Coming In: The Sequel Nobody Asked For

Back Porch Btchn Podcast ·

2025/08/15

This week Patryck is talking about "Coming In" - what happens when you get your mental health together and suddenly everyone thinks you've joined a cult just because you're not a hot mess anymore.Plus our NEW segment "Porch Mail: Y'all's Bitching" featuring complaints about bitches named Holly, mixed signals in the bedroom, and whether 36 is actually middle-aged (spoiler: not in real years, but definitely in gay years 💀).If you've ever had to explain to

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00:25:36

Gay Dating in Richmond: A Field Guide to Dysfunction

Back Porch Btchn Podcast ·

2025/08/08

Join host Patryck as he spills the tea on Richmond's chaotic gay dating scene! From open relationship couples flooding the apps to aging Peter Pans chasing 20-somethings around bars, Patryck serves up a hilarious field guide to the beautiful disaster that is finding love in Virginia's most confused city. Whether it's enlightened vegans lecturing about quinoa, military contractors cosplaying as Jason Bourne, or political gays who get aroused by campaign finance reform, Richmond's

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00:16:41

Welcome to the porch!

Back Porch Btchn Podcast ·

2025/08/07

Welcome to Back Porch Bitchin'! A middle-aged gay Southerner tackles dating disasters, cultural hypocrisy, and life's daily nonsense from his Richmond porch. It's bourbon, biscuits, and zero filter. Come sit a spell and let's handle some shit together. 🥃

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