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PODCAST

The Off-Ramp Project

How do we create (and survive) drastic changes? How do we leave unhealthy relationships, groups, belief systems, or entire identities? How do we take off-ramps when the crowd is pushing us forward, and how can we learn to create off-ramps for others -- especially when we"ve been taught to see them as our enemies? These questions are crucial in a time when so many of us have been drawn into polarized belief systems and conspiracy theories that are tearing apart families, friendships, political

society & culture social sciences

All Episodes

54:47

Reclaim Your Shame

The Off-Ramp Project ·

2025/10/30

Episode 12: Many of us have been chased away from shame, because it seems to cause nothing but pain. However, shame itself is a crucial social emotion that helps you become an upright and empathic person who cares about others and has a strong sense of ethics. The key to working with shame is to understand the difference between shame that helps you maintain your morals and ethics, and shame-blame that is thrown onto you by others. The blaming form of shame is actually, and simply, abuse. Reclaiming

en

41:54

Retrieve Your Panic

The Off-Ramp Project ·

2025/10/23

Episode 11: Your panic is powerful, and if you don't know how to work with it, other people can grab its power to fuel their own ideas, their own movements, and their own ends.But be aware: If people are grabbing onto your emotions, especially the powerful, life-saving emotion of panic, they don't in any way mean you well.Your emotions belong to you, and no one should be jacking into them. The first step in retrieving your panic is to understand what it does, how it works, and how to work with its

en

41:58

The Magic of Hatred

The Off-Ramp Project ·

2025/10/16

Episode 10: Hatred is a powerful emotion, and as it is with anything powerful, it's a double-edged sword. It can be a astonishing force for good. No kidding.We're seeing hatred everywhere, and it's a sign of trouble throughout our species. If you don't know how to work with your hatred, its power can wound and destroy. This is especially true if you've been manipulated into hatred, because this is a form of emotional abuse that destabilizes and weaponizes you. And of course, being manipulated into

en

35:23

The Healing Power of Stress

The Off-Ramp Project ·

2025/10/09

Episode 9: You don't need to avoid stress. In fact, avoiding it is a truly bad idea if you want to do anything worth doing, or be of help in difficult times. And in fact, stress is a weasel word that hides the essential emotions that arise to help us deal with trouble. Learning to reframe stress, name it properly, and work with it intentionally can improve and deepen every part of your life. And in times of trouble, it is our willingness to face difficulties head on -- with all of our emotional

en

28:25

Episode 8: How Do We Reclaim Our Better Angels?

The Off-Ramp Project ·

2025/09/25

Episode 8: There's something you can do right now to support yourself in this time of intentional chaos and intense polarization. The Braver Angel's organization is a nationwide group of people who have come together to help us learn how to talk to each other again. And to learn how to disagree and be in conflict without tearing each other apart. No one wins when we're pitted against each other like this, and Braver Angels will give you a place -- right now -- to reclaim the better angels of of your

en

36:25

Episode 7: What Can We Do?

The Off-Ramp Project ·

2025/09/19

Episode 7: What can we do when polarization, dehumanization, and unhealthy mechanisms of control are at play? We can understand the powerful forces that are acting upon us, and do the work to become well-informed, emotionally whole, and prepared to reduce polarization, emotional manipulation, and dehumanization inside us, and in the world around us. Books mentioned in this episode: Missing the Solstice by Karla McLaren: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0F6TRWRBZ Escaping Utopia by Janja Lalich and Karla

en

56:32

Episode 6: Who Leads You?

The Off-Ramp Project ·

2025/09/11

Episode 6: Healthy charismatic leadership involves being willing to learn from others, instituting checks and balances, maintaining a sense of humor and a sense of humility, being responsive to complaints and corrections, and treating people well and respectfully. When the charisma of a person or group is healthy, people are drawn to it and invigorated by it. When it’s not, their choices get tangled up with the leader’s need for total devotion and control. Breaking away from toxic charismatic

en

59:50

Episode 5: Who Influences You?

The Off-Ramp Project ·

2025/09/04

Episode 5: Influence is everywhere, and it can be heathy or unhealthy. Here are ways to know which is which. SIGNS OF HEALTHY SYSTEMS OF INFLUENCE The system helps people feel welcome and important to the group as they are. The system encourages healthy community, teamwork, and camaraderie, as well as open discussion and debate about group projects, goals, and decisions. Members are role models for each other, but internal competition is a choice rather than a requirement. Individual hard work and

en

51:50

Episode 4: Who Controls You?

The Off-Ramp Project ·

2025/08/28

Episode 4: Who Controls You?In healthy groups and relationships, members retain their own sense of what's right, their own voices, their intellectual freedom, and their own ideas. In healthy groups, the systems of group control are healthy and nourishing. In unhealthy groups, the systems of control will demand high dedication, high intensity, self-silencing, intellectual sameness, and extreme perfectionism. In unhealthy groups and relationships, the systems themselves are abusive. But there is no

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46:06

Episode 3: How Do You Beleive?

The Off-Ramp Project ·

2025/08/21

Episode 3: It's not what you believe. It's how.In this episode, we're exploring the first aspect of Janja Lalich's Bounded Choice model of cultic control: The Transcendent Belief System.If you don't understand high-demand, high-dedication, high-intensity, self-sealed, and cultic belief systems, you can fall into one very easily. Or more than one!We look at multiple transcendent beliefs, which are not exclusively religious or spiritual. Any belief system can fall into perfectionism and rigidity, and

en

48:35

Episode 2: Your Emotions Are Not for Sale

The Off-Ramp Project ·

2025/08/14

Episode 2: Your emotions are the foundation of who you are, and in this episode, we look at how advertising, marketing, social media, and anyone who wants to influence you accesses your emotions as a matter of course (and as a matter of business). Becoming aware and skilled with your own emotions certainly benefits you and your relationships, but it can also protect you from manipulation and help you develop a deep form of social intelligence. Sadly, in endstage capitalism, our emotions are being

en

33:35

Welcome to The Off-Ramp Project!

The Off-Ramp Project ·

2025/08/11

Episode 1: How do we create (and survive) drastic changes? How do we leave unhealthy relationships, groups, belief systems, or entire identities? How do we take off-ramps when the crowd is pushing us forward, and how can we learn to create off-ramps for others -- especially when we've been taught to see them as our enemies? These questions are crucial in a time when so many of us have been drawn into polarized belief systems and conspiracy theories that are tearing apart families, friendships,

en

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