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PODCAST

Monster Crush

Dating can be hard - especially when your date is the legendary Bigfoot! Where do you take a guy like that? More importantly, where do you find a guy like that? You"re in luck because our crypto-woo-ologists have a binder full of suitable candidates ready for one hell of a good time. Whether or not our bait survives is up to them. Who says love isn"t without a few risks?

comedy

All Episodes

01:24:54

Date 109 - If You Like It, Put The One Ring On It

Monster Crush ·

2025/09/29

In honor of the recent holiday, Hobbit Day, we’re talking Tolkien! Derek is joined once again by special guest Shadow (@shadowsilvia on socials) to delve too greedily and too deep into some Middle Earth monsters! So prepare to make an unexpected party with Smaug the Dragon, The Watcher in the Water, and Durin’s Bane the Balrog!Additional side note: Monster Crush will be skipping a week on our release schedule but will be back for a new episode hopefully at the end of October!Featuring: we prefer

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01:12:25

Date 108 - 28 Inches of Sturdiness

Monster Crush ·

2025/09/15

Monster Crush is back after our Summer Break with all new chills and thrills. For this episode, Derek is joined by special guest Shadow (@shadowsilvia on socials) to discuss the noble Unicorn! And these horny horses have a wild history hiding behind all those sparkles and rainbows. Author Chris Lavers is quoted as saying “The history of the unicorn myth is so tangled that to try and unravel it is to glimpse madness”. But we’d gladly glimpse madness for some unicorn love! Featuring: Chupacabras on

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01:20:07

Date 107 - Goosebump and Grind

Monster Crush ·

2025/07/28

Summer is a time for fun, sun, and (if you’re anything like us) reading! So for this summer break episode we went back to our childhoods to explore some of the wonderful monsters gifted to us by the one and only R.L. Stine in the Goosebumps series! So get ready for monsters from Calling All Creeps, The Beast from the East, and Night of the Living Dummy! Listeners beware, you’re in for a (sexy) scare!Also, this episode marks the beginning of our brief Summer Break for Monster Crush, we'll be back

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00:53:42

Date 106 - Pretty Fly for a Yokai

Monster Crush ·

2025/07/07

On this date we fly back into the weird world of Yokai for a couple of avian singletons to nest with. So strap on and strap in for the Kogarasu and the Niwatori no sō! These two feathered friends are sure to peck their way into your hearts… perhaps literally.Featuring: Toilet ghosts and sentient umbrellas, a trip to LD’s Smut Corner, Spooky News: Bigfoot could get you high, eat the prideful and haughty, chicken’s grudge-curse, cloacal kisses, AND MORE!CW: Mentions of explosions/fireworks and

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01:11:33

Date 105 - You Gotta Pay The Troll Toll

Monster Crush ·

2025/06/24

For our second Pride Month episode of 2025 we consider giving a second chance to some monsters who did not get our full attention on previous dates. So this time we explore the wilderness for the Scandinavian Troll! These mysterious monsters of magic and nature have haunted fables and myth far back into ancient times… so it’s about time they haunt our bedrooms! Things are going to get rock hard so strap in and strap on!Featuring: A totally perfect first take on our intro - Spooky News: werewolf

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01:13:50

Date 104 - Bone Daddy

Monster Crush ·

2025/06/10

Happy Pride, you beautiful Monster Crushers! To celebrate the queerest time of the year we wanted to present you all with a true gay icon. And, since we covered Mothman back in episode 69, we delved into pop culture for a figure who has represented the LGBTQ+ community for decades now. So strap on and strap in for the true Master of the Universe and master of our hearts, Skeletor! This skeletal singleton is sure to rattle your bones in the best of ways!Featuring: Pride Month for monster fucking,

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01:02:25

Date 103 - I Will Remember U(boat)

Monster Crush ·

2025/05/27

For this Memorial Day we bring you two monsters you just can’t forget about. War is weird and strange stuff happens during times of conflict, so this episode we discuss two giant sea monsters seen by German U-boats during WWI. So get ready to be blown…out of the water by the U-28 Creature and the U-85 Atrocity! Featuring: The lusty month of May, a visit to LD’s Smut Corner: The Spinster and the Gargoyle, the gargoyle vs. grotesque debate, Spooky News: crop circles in England and a prehistoric wasp

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01:21:00

Date 102 - Monster Mommy

Monster Crush ·

2025/05/12

We at Monster Crush want to celebrate Mother’s Day in the only way we know how… by making it about smooching monsters. So if you have mommy energy (however you personally define that), we want to wish you a special day full of whatever monsters you love best. But for us, we had to feature a monstrous mother of other monsters coming straight from Greek myth with the monster matriarch, the Echidna! So strap in and strap on for a serpentine seductress that will make you say “yes, mommy”.Featuring:

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01:02:04

Date 101 - Tree-t Yourself

Monster Crush ·

2025/04/29

Does love have you stumped? Always branching out but your date always leaves? Well we get to the root of the problem this week with our lumbering singletons! No more barking up the wrong tree with two loveable cryptobotanical selections to really shiver your timbers! It’s two green-thumbs up for the Ya-Te-Veo and The Man-Eating Madagascar Tree! Plus a special appearance from The Cow-Eating Tree!Featuring: A new game of Nessie Knockoffs, a return to LD’s Smut Corner, a 1 minute recap of M. Night

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01:18:20

Date 100 - Loch’d & Loaded

Monster Crush ·

2025/04/14

EPISODE 100 IS HERE! I can’t believe we actually made it to 100 episodes! And speaking of things that are hard to believe, is there a monster lurking in the depths of Loch Ness? Yes… at least we want the answer to be yes because we LOVE NESSIE! So strap in and strap on for Derek’s first monster love with The Loch Ness Monster! Also, a special thank you to all of you who have joined us on this wonderful monster ride and a very special thank you to Heaven-Leigh and Ellie for starting this amazing

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01:31:22

Date 99 - Dinosaur Boning

Monster Crush ·

2025/04/01

99 EPISODES! We wanted to celebrate getting this far with something big, so we chose dinosaurs! This episode we bring you two classic dino cryptids with LD choosing to learn about the Kasai Rex! This theropod dinosaur supposedly hunts the waterways of the Congo, and not only does it eat large animals like rhinos… but maybe people too. It’s welcome to eat us any time though as we go big or go home with this sharp-toothed scale-friend!Featuring: LD’s favorite dinosaur that isn’t a dinosaur, this is a

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01:04:28

Date 98 - IN THE MARCH OF MADNESS 2025 (GOO CONFERENCE)

Monster Crush ·

2025/03/17

We jump right back into the deep end with Part 2 of IN THE MARCH OF MADNESS! This episode we bring you the GOO Conference (Great Old Ones) with an all new list of eldritch horrors and hard-to-pronounce names. So get your brackets ready and strap in and strap on for Tsathoggua, Idh-Yaa, Y’Golonac, Glaaki, Boat Z’uqqa-Mogg, Ithaqua, Gobogeg, Sfatlicllp, and the ultimate champion of this year’s Salty 16 Single Smooch Elimination Bracket!Featuring: A mini Spooky News - watch politicians talk about

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01:26:17

Date 97 - IN THE MARCH OF MADNESS 2025 (BOG CONFERENCE)

Monster Crush ·

2025/03/04

It’s that time again! Continuing from last year we once again bring you IN THE MARCH OF MADNESS, our very own monster-smooching bracket of Lovecraftian and eldritch beings. So strap in and strap on for SIXTEEN SALTY beings of unknowable horror and tentacles as we complete a single-elimination bracket broken into two conferences. This episode we tackle the BOG (Beings and Outer Gods) Conference with Yibb-Tstll, Gnoph-Keh, Magnum Innomunandum, Mh’Ithrha, the Mi-Go, the Nightgaunts, Cthulhu, and

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01:09:44

Date 96 - Eat Your Heart Out

Monster Crush ·

2025/02/17

Happy Valentine’s Day from all of us at Monster Crush! We celebrate Monster Love every single day but it feels especially important on this corporatized, pre-assigned day of affection. So this time we bring you a couple of monsters to make your heart skip a beat… as they rip it from your chest. Yes, far from content with heart-shaped boxes of candy, these monsters prefer hearts with more gooshy filling. So please enjoy the Danish fell-knight, the Valraven and the Korean 9-tailed fox of cunning evil,

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01:16:25

Date 95 - 8 Legs of Justice

Monster Crush ·

2025/02/03

Monster Crush is back! After our holiday hiatus, we are energized and ready for even more monster smooches. And in this new year and month of love, we decide to give a second chance to some of our previously unchosen singletons. So strap in and strap on this week for a second chance for the J'ba Fofi, a massive spider cryptid from the Congo! And I did say SPIDER so if that's not your thing, skip the second half of this episode, I mean it.Featuring: We’re Back! - Spooky News: Project

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00:57:56

Date 94 - You've Been Very Naughty

Monster Crush ·

2024/12/23

Happy Holidays and, more importantly, Gruss Vom Krampus from all of us at Monster Crush! We finally did it! We released a holiday episode and finally got around to covering the Christmas Devil himself, the one and only KRAMPUS! And it’s no secret that this horny holiday hellion is a smash but you may learn things about this cloven Christmas creature that you didn’t know before. So strap in and strap on for a slay ride unlike any before as Monster Crush looks for the perfect monster to climb down our

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01:04:01

Date 93 - Come Play With Us

Monster Crush ·

2024/12/08

We all love to play with toys but can you love a toy that plays with you? What about a toy that has intense, possibly malicious, paranormal energy attached to it? If you said yes, then do I have the date for you! This episode LD entertains two of the most notorious haunted dolls around with Robert the Doll and the infamous Annabelle! With these spirit-laden dolls, it’s important to remember the key rules for any romantic endeavor: safety first, consent is crucial, and make sure to clean your toys

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01:03:16

Date 92 - Thankful for Monsters

Monster Crush ·

2024/11/28

It’s a special Thanksgiving episode for LD and Derek and they are thankful for so much. We are thankful to you, our wonderful audience (like all 7 of you), we are thankful for the opportunity to make a podcast as friends, and we are thankful for all of the smoochable monsters! So this episode, we prepare a Thanksgiving feast, and the main course? Why, it’s our monstrous singletons! So strap in and strap on for The Bird Beasts of Var as our protein with a side of The Veggieman of West Virginia. These

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01:05:57

Date 91 - Pri-Mating Season

Monster Crush ·

2024/11/12

Given recent events, we here at Monster Crush have decided to stop all this monkey business. So join us as we go ape-shit for our singletons this week! Insert additional monkey pun here. So strap in and strap on for some cryptids who might involve reaching a loving hand back down the evolutionary branch so chimpler times (that’s the last one, I swear). This date we bring you the Stellar’s Sea Ape and the Monkey Man of Delhi!Featuring: Monster Crush is here to distract but never to ignore - Ranking

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01:36:20

Date 90 - I Vant to Suck Your…

Monster Crush ·

2024/10/30

Episode 90 has arrived and just in time for Halloween! So join us as we dive a stake deep into the heart of one of the most iconic monsters of all time, a terror who has dug his fangs deep into the neck of pop culture, the vampire of all vampires - COUNT DRACULA! So strap in and strap on for an exploration into the fictional and real world history of the most famous bloodsucker around!Featuring: What is a Dracula? - Vampires around the world - Bram Stoker’s love triangle - Dracula Recap - Van

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