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PODCAST

Confidence

Confidence Chris

As a dating coach and disorganized avoidant, I"ve observed dating from the lens of my own experience and through the experience of others. This podcast is about sharing what is absolutely true, while focusing on how I can help you with dating, attachment, and putting an end to your unwanted patterns. Don"t be afraid to DM me or ask me questions as I will use your personal situations as well as my own on the show. If you"re craving a dating podcast that is real, entertaining, while still being

society & culture relationships

All Episodes

00:51:40

Get Your Spark Back

Confidence ·

2026/10/04

Boundaries Workshop Sign-Up: https://app.confidencechris.com/boundaries-pop-up-sign-upI found the secret to getting back into your good energy. It's actually really simple, yet so insidiously hard. Did you know that you are one direct communication away from freedom? Let's talk about it. I'll dissect three situations from people who are all post-relationship and all doing the same thing: trying to think their way out of a feeling. One of them wanted me to confirm that a guy's

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01:06:24

No Expectations

Confidence ·

2026/09/27

You're not missing them, you're missing a feeling. Let me explain. But first, I share a triggering message I received from a friend pointed at my avoidance. I'll give you an alternate perspective on how to handle harsh energy from those closest to you, while weaving in emotional wounds from how I grew up, and the layer of distance every girl I've dated has felt with me. I also cleared the decks again in my dating life, and I'll explain why easy and light still counts as saying no

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01:06:22

It's Not Them

Confidence ·

2026/09/20

Stop playing footsies with people who will never give you what you want. This episode is about getting deeper with yourself and your reactions. Many people feel stuck in relationships where they are frustrated, angry, and misunderstood. I'll give a personal example of how I recently got triggered when a friend showed up late, leading to verbal jabs and mental disconnection. I’ll break down how anger is usually a surface mask for underlying fear and why being "present" is the hardest

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00:59:41

Seeking Heartbreak

Confidence ·

2026/09/13

This week came out of nowhere. I feel like I got sucker-punched with some difficult feelings and some hard truths. This week's title is seeking heartbreak, which is something I told myself I wanted to do. I've been sick of running away from what I desire, but what's funny is that I asked, and I received just as quickly. I also made a major realization about how deep my avoidance runs. I've been so focused on not acting from fear that I closed off the possibility that people might

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00:59:45

Want Them Back

Confidence ·

2026/09/06

Do they ever come back? It's time to end the debate once and for all. I'll also talk about why you want them back in the first place (trigger warning). Before we get there, I reflect on my recent fuck it attitude I have gotten for life lately. I get into the way we all communicate indirectly: the jabs you call jokes, the "I just miss the friendship" story your brain feeds you, and them going cold on you. I finish off with what to do when you're happy being single, but also want

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01:06:12

Not Chosen

Confidence ·

2026/08/30

When someone doesn't choose you, is it really about you? Let me tell you why it's not personal. Before I get into that, I pour my little heart out about feeling a little run down. I'll reflect on how tough it is to say no in the moment and how your exhaustion is a signal to recalibrate. Then I answer a question about handling the silent treatment without letting it wreck your confidence, saying a final goodbye, and being so far away from self-trust. Ready to break the pattern, apply to

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01:08:09

Savannah Cat

Confidence ·

2026/08/23

Most guys have a dream car, I have a dream cat. We are not the same. The cat does happen to be $15,000 though. Yikes, so my friend yelled at me, but then it hit me… You might be wondering what this has to do with a dating podcast episode. Well, because my off-brand desire relates directly to my dating life. No rushing, no settling, no second-guessing. I'll get into how my avoidance used to make me second-guess my choices, and how my relationship wants would get confused for attachment

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00:57:44

Nothing at Stake

Confidence ·

2026/08/16

This week we are getting into the contrast between anxious and avoidant patterns. I wrote something down that I feel describes the dynamic perfectly. I will discuss my own challenges with avoidance and how I am working towards healing it. I also recap a situation from last week's episode where a listener quickly backed off a relationship. I discuss how to lead with more curiosity and less defensiveness. This is not just about being the bigger person, but becoming so much more.Ready to break the

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01:04:08

Intensity Isn't Intimacy

Confidence ·

2026/08/09

My boy asked me .. how do you tell the difference between intensity and actual intimacy (especially in a push/pull dynamic where it's hard to tell the difference)? I share my thoughts on what I feel the difference is and how to identify it. But before I get into that, I play a voice note from a girl who is navigating a similar situation about a guy who communicated his lack of certainty to her, and how she feels guilty for ending it so quickly. I'll share an update about my life, on staying away

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01:13:11

Narcissist or Victim

Confidence ·

2026/08/02

I saw a video this week that said people who lack empathy are garbage, and it triggered me into a rabbit hole about narcissism. This will be confrontational and controversial, but really my goal is to give you an alternate perspective on how this is defined in our culture and the dynamics that are created by both partners. I get into why the person giving and giving is also being selfish, and how/why your resentment is an indicator. I walk through a listener situation where the guy starts to

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01:08:21

Peace of Mind

Confidence ·

2026/07/26

Isn’t it crazy how those shorter relationships can hit way harder than the longer ones? Today I reflect on this, and what would happen if that person ever came back. I then lean into how my views of compatibility vs. chemistry have shifted, while still battling guilt when I admit and enforce my high standards. I then get into whether I still deal with imposter syndrome, perfectionism, and procrastination. Yes, but no, and I’ll share how to overcome them. I then go in on whether or not you should

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01:07:35

Out of Your Head

Confidence ·

2026/07/19

If you have anxious attachment, this episode is going to be a gut punch, but a necessary one. The truth is, most people don't have a feeling problem, they have a thinking problem. I'll show you what you can't see about chasing and caring for someone who doesn't seem to show the same energy back. Let's get into it. This week I'm fresh off an emergency landing, and now I'm heading to Cancun for a wedding, but the stove is on hot. I answer two situations from my guys. The

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01:07:04

Insecurity or Intuition

Confidence ·

2026/07/12

So I broke my celibacy, and may have pulled my groin in the process. This somehow spun off into an analogy about how I got the ick from cigarettes and letting go of toxic relationships (aka emotional cigarettes), trust me it’s sensational. Then I get into the situation everyone obsesses over: is it insecure to want your partner to unfollow people on social media, or is your gut telling you something real? I break down the difference between soothing your fear through control and what trusting

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01:09:33

Avoiding Anxiousness

Confidence ·

2026/07/05

So this was a very unexpected week to say the least. I saw the most attractive girl I've seen in years, didn't shoot my shot, and came home feeling like shit. I'll talk about why and the importance of taking the risk. This then leads into a story about an unexpected new connection that caught me off guard. It's crazy how the smallest moments can shine a light on your internal fears and triggers. I'll share how deep my anxious avoidance still runs: the waiting, the phone checking,

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01:08:03

Emotionally Celibate

Confidence ·

2026/06/28

This is going to be a Dear Diary episode. A podcast journal of how I am feeling at my core. I've been in a mini funk, but somehow it's also the most peace I've felt in my life in a long time. The duality of it all ... Really what's happening is that I'm emotionally celibate, and that's brought me an enormous amount of clarity, but also this weird blank page feeling. I get honest about feeling lonely (not the desperate kind), being uninspired even though I love my life, and

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01:03:51

Attracted to Chaos

Confidence ·

2026/06/21

To be real, last week I hadn't been feeling my best. I care about showing up confident (and not looking weak), so I tend to mask those feelings. That's how our conversation starts. I get into detail about why I am the way I am. I'll walk you through how I grew up insecure and rebellious, all the way till now, and why I still deeply crave attention. I then shift gears to a situation sent in by a listener around if cheaters actually change. I will share her story of how she had been living

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01:02:41

Bounce Back

Confidence ·

2026/06/14

The real work begins, not when you decide to leave, but directly after. It’s the weeks and days following that force you to face yourself and face your fears. Today, we are talking about getting back on your feet, leaving guilt and proving behind, and the real glow up post breakup. Maybe they are with someone new, maybe you are just determined to let go, today’s episode is a direct challenge to take the risk of choosing yourself.Ready to break the pattern, apply to work with me:

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00:56:58

Hard to Leave

Confidence ·

2026/06/07

Why is it so hard to let go when you know something isn't right? Last episode I told you I ended my situationship, and this time it feels final. In this episode, I share how difficult it is to actually separate and how no contact gets harder before it gets easier. I start off with a question about not being ready to commit, and how I called Jay in a panic to "talk me off the ledge" when I was feeling overwhelmed with doubt and potential regret. I answer a few listener situations about

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01:16:18

Casual Is Dead

Confidence ·

2026/05/31

Something major is shifting in my love life. Today I am going to share with you a few personal stories, about letting go of a situationship, guilty feelings after a hookup, and ending old habits. Before that my friend asked me about the pettiest thing that gives me the ick, and if I get more icked out now that I am shifting to looking for love versus sex. I will discuss why people are dishonest in relationships and why people struggle to create peace in their relationships. I will also respond to a

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01:11:36

Chemistry x Compatibility

Confidence ·

2026/05/24

Is intense chemistry actually a bad thing? In today's episode, I'll share a listener's dilemma around this trending idea that chemistry doesn't matter at all. I break down what exactly chemistry and compatibility mean to me, and how they work in tandem with each other. I'll relate it to a client story about falling hard for someone despite massive red flags, and why anxious people can mistake activated nervous systems for chemistry. This will then lead us down a road deeper than

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