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PODCAST

Don’t Scare the Newbies!

Kink can be scary, but talking about it doesn’t have to be! S and kirizal, a couple in a 24/7 Total Power Exchange relationship chat about kink, sex, relationships, communication, and all the messy stuff in between.Follow kirizal’s blog and find all their socials at www.kirizal.comSupport U/us on Patreon at patreon.com/dontscarethenewbiesVote for U/us in The Alternative Awards by liking this Instagram post: https://www.instagram.com/p/DTdI0ZZDGlw/?igsh=bDhweDh6aDl1MW45

health & fitness sexuality

All Episodes

87:01

The Jalapenos on the Nachos: Degradation and Humiliation

Don’t Scare the Newbies! ·

2026/04/08

In this episode, Mx and kirizal dig into shame, objectification, worthlessness, and all the messy emotions of degradation and humiliation. How these kinks can enhance O/our play, why they turn U/us on, and a deep dive into trauma play, body shaming, verbal degradation and humiliation, and "the umbrella of gross kinks". Plus - kirizal's journey into emotional masochism, negotiation and aftercare skills, and Mx discovers that kirizal doesn't know how to burp.Content Note: This episode covers some

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111:04

The Filthy Nature of Money: Financial Domination

Don’t Scare the Newbies! ·

2026/04/01

Enthusiastic findom newbies kirizal and S dive into the controversial subject of playing with money. W/we chat about the politics of playing with the power of capitalism, the taboo of talking about money in relationships, and why financial domination carries so much stigma and shame. Plus - ethics and safety, the symbolism and meaning behind giving and receiving money, and how findom works for U/us in the context of an ongoing and intimate relationship.Follow kirizal’s blog and find all their

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87:07

Big Enough To Hurt, Small Enough To Fit: Does Size...

Don’t Scare the Newbies! ·

2026/03/25

This week, W/we’re bigger than ever - talking big dicks, big toys, and fisting. kirizal dives into what’s going on with their size kink, while S is in it for the objectification and mad science. W/we tackle the age old question of does size matter, chat porn dick and dick pics, and discuss the appeal of non-standard sex toys. Plus - safety, stretching tips, and kirizal forces S to accept compliments.Follow kirizal’s blog and find all their socials at www.kirizal.comSupport U/us on Patreon at

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96:38

Embrace the Silly: WAM and Looner Kinks with Bunny and L

Don’t Scare the Newbies! ·

2026/03/18

This week, Bunny and L join kirizal and S for a chat about the sillier and more lighthearted side of kink - WAM (wet and messy) and looner (balloon) kinks! Bunny is an adult content creator and takes U/us through their adventures of discovering new desires through performance, experiences of running specialist kink events, and what the draw is of these desires. L - one of their partners - shares their experiences of being along for the ride and the kinks they acquire along the way. Clown energy and

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78:20

Authentically Deviant: Secretary

Don’t Scare the Newbies! ·

2026/03/11

Time for another kinky movie, and this time it’s Secretary. kirizal and S talk about relatability in awkwardness, agency in submission, and the joy in seeing kink on screen represented as genuinely perverse and unpolished. Plus - masochism and self harm, neurodivergence in kink, and W/we find out if kirizal can read out a movie quote without crying.Content Note: Spoilers for Secretary throughout, detailed discussion of self harm both in the movie and personal experience, discussion of consent issues

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93:32

Poking Fun: Sharps Play with Mark

Don’t Scare the Newbies! ·

2026/03/04

On this episode, Mark joins kirizal and S to talk about sharps play - needles, blades and scalpels. W/we chat about finding the resources to learn these types of skills, vetting and negotiating for play, the appeal of blood and scars, and managing risk. Plus lots more!Content Note: Detailed discussion of sharps play including blood and scarring, brief mention of self harm. Conversations around degradation and humiliation kinks including brief mentions of vomit and scat, and more detailed discussion

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102:31

“It’s My World, you’re Just Living In It”: Dominance...

Don’t Scare the Newbies! ·

2026/02/25

This week W/we’re getting back to basics with a closer look at the classics - dominance and submission. What separates power play from other areas of kink? How can power be expressed, where does it come from and what different flavours can it have? kirizal and S talk about negotiation for power exchange, different approaches to rules and authority styles, the role of discipline, and lots more! With handy tips for people new to power exchange relationships and a look at how O/our dynamic is

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86:59

Panopticon Perverts: Surveillance in Kink

Don’t Scare the Newbies! ·

2026/02/18

Location tracking, surveillance cameras, and an open door policy - as often happens, kirizal’s dream life sounds like many people’s worst nightmare. On this episode, S and kirizal chat about the ways that W/we erode privacy and dignity in a fun, consensual way. Also - the age old debate about the construction of a proper cream tea, kirizal’s many open tabs, and pooping with the door open.Follow kirizal’s blog and find all their socials at www.kirizal.comSupport U/us on Patreon at

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102:30

Have Your Cake and Eat It: Polyamory with Tom and Kay...

Don’t Scare the Newbies! ·

2026/02/11

Tom and Kay - hosts of Insert Here - join kirizal and S to chat about polyamory, ethical non-monogamy, and all the excitement and challenges that comes with navigating alternative relationship styles. Plus - exhibitionism, kinky podcaster life, and lots more! Listen to Insert Here anywhere you find podcasts, and check out their website here: insertherekink.comFollow kirizal’s blog and find all their socials at www.kirizal.comSupport U/us on Patreon at patreon.com/dontscarethenewbiesVote for U/us in

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75:21

Not a Gardening Podcast: Let's Talk About Nettle Play

Don’t Scare the Newbies! ·

2026/02/04

Who would wanna get stung by nettles on purpose? Probably surprising to no one that the answer is kirizal, with S more than happy to deliver. So as W/we look forward to nettle season just around the corner, kirizal and S break down the process and techniques involved in nettle play, just a touch of science, and lots of footling about. Follow kirizal’s blog and find all their socials at www.kirizal.comSupport U/us on Patreon at patreon.com/dontscarethenewbiesVote for U/us in The Alternative Awards by

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91:05

Get the Spray Bottle: Petplay and More with Hope and Ash

Don’t Scare the Newbies! ·

2026/01/28

On this episode, Hope's back with her flatmate Ash joining her to talk about their exploration in kink - we chat petplay, primal, and embracing the animal within, kink on a budget, switching, gender identity, and kink outside of a defined relationship or power dynamic, plus lots more!There was a major audio issue with this recording, which Ash and Hope worked for weeks to repair for U/us (much appreciated) - the end result is a little less polished than most of O/our episodes, but the content was

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87:04

The Tradwife of Uncanny Valley: Gender Roles and...

Don’t Scare the Newbies! ·

2026/01/21

In this episode W/we answer popular Tiktok search “is kirizal a boy or a girl”, S and kirizal compare gender “journeys”, and chat about how gender identity, roles, oppression, and expression influence kink. Plus - how inclusive is the kink community? Is kink better when it’s self aware and subversive? And is it a feminist act to be horny?Content Note: Discussion of misogyny and transphobiaFollow kirizal’s blog and find all their socials at www.kirizal.comSupport U/us on Patreon at

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84:23

Head Empty, No Thoughts: Bimbofication and Appearance...

Don’t Scare the Newbies! ·

2026/01/14

Through S’s repeated disclaimers that appearance control is NOT about making kirizal hotter, W/we talk about the undeniable glow up that happened in 2025. Why is appearance control so fun? Is being a bimbo really about being any less smart? And how does hyper-femininity feel for a nonbinary person? Plus - kirizal slips into bimbo headspace mid-recording, and S continues to lose the battle to stop kirizal stealing Their clothes.Content Note: Some discussion of weight lossFollow kirizal’s blog and

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76:46

Signing the Psychological Pre-Nup: D/s Breakups with...

Don’t Scare the Newbies! ·

2026/01/07

kirizal’s ex, Hope (previously known as Alexea), joins U/us this episode to talk about navigating breakups in power exchange relationships. How do people disentangle their lives when they have created such an interdependent structure? How do submissives decondition from rules that have become reflex? And how can kinky couples exit plan for a softer landing while still riding the optimism of the honeymoon period? Plus - staying friends with exes, kitchen chaos, and we address the “missing chapter”

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112:12

Neon Lights in the Dark: 2025 Recapped

Don’t Scare the Newbies! ·

2025/12/31

In this episode, kirizal and S answer listener questions and recap 2025. Laughs, tears, healing and perversions, this episode has it all as W/we round up a busy, exciting, and very kinky year. Content Note: Although nothing particularly explicit, this episode does include mentions of play involving simulated sexual assault and domestic violence

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87:38

Between the Cheese and the Cilice: Spirituality,...

Don’t Scare the Newbies! ·

2025/12/24

It wouldn’t be Christmas without some light trauma dumping, a discussion about the link between religious shame and CNC, and some historical genital mutilation. It’s O/our festive episode, so kirizal and S talk faith and spirituality, O/our childhood Christmas traditions and the new ones W/we are making together, kink as a spiritual experience, how worship and ritual fit into O/our dynamic, and the value of community. Content Note: Some discussion of drug use/addiction, mention of sexual assault,

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78:02

An Aptitude For Devotion, But Not For Representation:...

Don’t Scare the Newbies! ·

2025/12/17

W/we interrupt O/our schedule to discuss Pillion - negative messaging about 24/7 dynamics sour the taste of kirizal and S’s cinema date night, service, emotional masochism and letting kink be delightfully weird bring some authenticity to the mix, and some questionable marketing miss-sells U/us a “raunchy rom-com” that’s definitely not Do movies have a responsibility in how they represent communities? What was this movie trying to say about lifestyle BDSM, and did it deliver? Mixed feelings, and a

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79:23

Smells Like Bacon: Burns and Branding

Don’t Scare the Newbies! ·

2025/12/10

What do kirizal and S like about burns, branding and cigarette torture? Well, for one thing, it’s hot! W/we chat all about burning, from kirizal’s slightly reckless early experimentation, to S’s introduction to this sizzlingly spicy kind of play. Plus - solo masochism vs self harm, what is the difference between a kink and a fetish, anti-smoking PSAs gone wrong and what happens if W/we ever give up this filthy habit? Content Note: Discussion of drug use, addiction, and self harm

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73:20

No Ifs, Plenty of Butts: All About Anal

Don’t Scare the Newbies! ·

2025/12/03

Is anal sex kinky? Whatever you think - it’s kinky enough for U/us! kirizal and S talk about O/our experiences - why the girls, gays, and theys do butt stuff better, S’s quest for Their own cum button, the appeal of painal, and the blessing (or curse) of having an absolutely enormous penis. Lots of giggles, some helpful tips, and the important debate of douching vs spontaneity. Content Note: Inevitably, some poop is involved

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90:31

Real Doms Play Sad Piano: Fifty Shades of Grey

Don’t Scare the Newbies! ·

2025/11/26

kirizal botches the intro for a solid minute, S and kirizal are forced into time travel due to a rogue washing machine, and through the chaos W/we share O/our thoughts on Fifty Shades of Grey - terrible kink representation, a crucial moment in mainstream acceptance, pure cringe, or all of the above?Content note: Some discussion of poor consent practices and fantasies about abuse and non-conWanna hear kirizal (and possibly S) talk kink live? Newcastle event 5th December:

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