Heretic Hereafter Podcast

36:57

Building Boys: Live Chat with Katharine Strange &...

Heretic Hereafter Podcast ·

2026/10/05

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit heretichereafter.substack.com/subscribe

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5:21

The Secret Lives of Christian Wives

Heretic Hereafter Podcast ·

2026/09/16

The Dishwasher DigSeveral years ago, a houseguest complimented me on my dishwasher loading. At first, I was flattered: yes, I am very efficient at loading the dishwasher and probably everyone else in this house could take a page from my book!!!But then he said, “It makes sense [that you’re good at it.] The dishwasher is your domain.”He meant this as a compliment (I think???) but it was one of those sentences that rattled through my brain with a nefarious clang: your domain is the dishwasheryour

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5:15

I Thought I Had Gender Roles Figured Out. Then I Had...

Heretic Hereafter Podcast ·

2026/09/09

In a moment of tween desperation, I asked my mom whether I could try out for cheerleading. It was the late 90s and the girls at cheer camp seemed to have cracked some secret code to girlhood: their hair was always perfectly styled; their lips impeccably glossy. If I could just don that pleated skirt, I was sure their power would rub off on me and I’d stop being the middle school weirdo.“Girls shouldn’t cheer for boys,” my mom replied, “they should cheer for themselves.” Cryptic, vaguely feminist

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6:55

Love in the ER

Heretic Hereafter Podcast ·

2026/08/26

Two weeks ago, my husband shook me awake at 4:00 a.m. “I’m going to the emergency room,” he said.I tried to blink myself awake. Never much of a complainer, Ryan had grown increasingly miserable over the past few days due to a pain in the roof of his mouth. That night, the pain had kept him from sleeping.I think I mumbled something along the lines of, “What? How?” as I sat up in bed.“I’ll take an Uber,” he said. My sleep-fogged brain considered this. My pillow was calling to me. And Ryan had taken

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8:26

The Other Third Places We Need

Heretic Hereafter Podcast ·

2026/08/12

Wild Waves/Enchanted Village, Seattle’s schlocky amusement park, is closing and I couldn’t be sadder about it. While significantly crappier than a Disney Park or even a Six Flags, running around Wild Waves is a rite of passage for many Seattle-area adolescents. It is THE end-of-year good behavior field trip that makes students think twice about racking up detentions. It’s not just Seattle—since 2020, at least 10 major American amusement parks have closed and many regional parks are struggling to

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8:03

A Police Defunder Has Some Regrets

Heretic Hereafter Podcast ·

2026/08/05

I’ve been following with rapt attention the new NPR/Seattle Times podcast, “We Keep Us Safe” which investigates the murder of 15-year-old Antonio Mays, Jr. at the Capitol Hill Occupied Protest (CHOP) in 2020. This summer, we’ve been looking at what it takes to make community work. This new investigation of CHOP highlights the challenges of building a society from scratch apart from traditional institutions like the police. What Was CHOP?For those of you unfamiliar with CHOP, it was a protestor

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8:41

The Hardest Goodbye

Heretic Hereafter Podcast ·

2026/07/29

This summer, we’ve been looking at commitment and what it takes to make communities and relationships work. Sticking it out has its place, certainly, but what about its opposite, calling it quits? Is there ever a time when we are justified in stepping away from relationships, even one as sacred as that between a parent and child?Content Warning: suicidal ideation. If you or someone you know is thinking about suicide, please call or text 988 for help.During the summer of 2020, I debated going

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5:41

Text the Friend You're Thinking About

Heretic Hereafter Podcast ·

2026/07/22

By my early 30s, I’d moved 16 times. I’d transferred schools 5 times, lived in 14 different cities, and moved boxes in and out of countless apartments and houses. I’d always considered this my social superpower: I knew how to harness the allure of being “the new kid.” I was both extroverted and judgy; I sorted people quickly and built friendships that blazed quick and hot. (There’s nothing like an expiration date to cement intense friendships.) The cycle was: meet, befriend, leave, over and over

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5:50

A Post for When You Hate Everyone

Heretic Hereafter Podcast ·

2026/07/15

Do you ever have one of those days where you fantasize about throwing someone out a window? Not that you would ever actually want to hurt someone, but there’s just that “leave me the fuck alone” feeling?Part of living in families and communities that doesn’t get a lot of airtime are the low-level irritations and resentments that can build up in long-term relationships. During this “Stuck Together Summer” we’ve gotta talk about feeling pissed off at the people you, ostensibly, love.Bruh, Why You

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6:15

WE'RE DOOMED: Great Card Game, Terrible Outlook on Life

Heretic Hereafter Podcast ·

2026/07/08

Summer started off with a bang in the Strange household—one of our kiddos pulled some epically bad behavior and, as a result, lost screentime privileges for two weeks! The one upshot of this arrangement is that he was B-O-R-E-D and willing to indulge in more boardgames than usual. Our new family favorite? A cheery little card game called WE’RE DOOMED!Why WE’RE DOOMED! Is So CompellingWE’RE DOOMED! imagines that the world is ending in 15 minutes, and only those who get a seat on an escape rocket will

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6:21

Stop Threatening to Move to Canada

Heretic Hereafter Podcast ·

2026/07/01

I hear it all the time: America is doomed! It’s a dumpster fire! Democracy is over, etcetera, etcetera! Let’s all move to Europe! Oh wait, they have far-right, anti-immigrant leaders, too? Okay…New Zealand? Or there’s always our good old friendly neighbor to the north, right?!?!Lefties have been threatening to move to Canada, off and on, since George W. Bush was elected in 2000. The cries grew significantly louder after Trump’s first and second elections. And I get it—these are two administrations

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3:54

The Scariest Thing I Have Ever Done

Heretic Hereafter Podcast ·

2026/06/24

My Secret FearFor someone with an anxiety disorder, I have managed to do a lot of scary stuff. Things like: moving away from my family, getting married when I was a dumb 22-year-old, moving to another country without a job or a place to live—twice! having kids, and telling a deeply personal story onstage at The Moth. But the actual Scariest Thing I’ve Ever Done was none of those things. It was self-publishing my novel last year. Maybe that sounds like not a big deal, but honestly, during the entire

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7:08

Relax, Hell isn't Real!

Heretic Hereafter Podcast ·

2026/06/17

Welcome new subscribers! This week, we’re continuing our series on FEAR. There’s a bit on parenting here, but if you’re looking for a more parenting-specific article, I can recommend The Extreme Weirdness of Trying to Buy a Bible for My Kids. You can also search “parenting” in the archive.Obsessing Over the AfterlifeGrowing up Evangelical, there were a lot of things to be afraid of, including but not limited to:* being “left behind” at the rapture* demons * tarnishing one’s purity Simultaneously,

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8:29

'Stranger Danger' is Bullshit

Heretic Hereafter Podcast ·

2026/06/10

I was out with a group of mom friends recently when the conversation turned to how much we have to schlep our kids around—driving/walking them to school, to sports practice, to lessons and day camps. There was broad consensus that: * we hate it* it feels mandatory as “good moms” AND* we wonder whether our kids could…just maybe…be a little more independent? This last point was uttered cautiously, as if everyone was reading the room, terrified of being judged. And with good reason. All too often

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5:57

Why "Faith Over Fear" T-Shirts Creep Me Out

Heretic Hereafter Podcast ·

2026/06/03

I think it happened a few months into the pandemic: I started seeing the phrase “faith over fear” popping up everywhere. It was in social media bios, on protest signs, and emblazoned across t-shirts. The phrase’s ubiquity seemed to correlate with anti-lockdown and anti-vaccine protests. While the phrase in itself could mean many things, to this day if I happen to see a person wearing this tee, I tend to assume “they are probably not vaccinated.” It’s like the inverse of one of those “In this house

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4:54

Everything I Feared About China Was Wrong

Heretic Hereafter Podcast ·

2026/05/27

When my husband’s friend invited us to his wedding in Chongqing, China, I was hesitant to RSVP in the affirmative. It was far and plane tickets were expensive, but mainly I was anxious. China’s government is scary, right? I’d read plenty of news reports about government corruption and the lack of due process, not to mention the Uygur genocide. I’ve long followed the career of Chinese dissident artist, Ai Weiwei, and was horrified at his arrest for making art criticizing the government’s response to

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6:07

How to Make Friends with Fear

Heretic Hereafter Podcast ·

2026/05/20

Maybe you’re thinking to yourself: why would I want to do that? Maybe that phrasing strikes you as odd. Don’t we want to get rid of fear? It’s not only an unpleasant feeling, it’s one that we judge ourselves for. We want to see ourselves as brave, so we try to ignore or resist feeling fear. The trouble is, the more you try to resist an emotion, the stronger it gets. Our bodies were designed to keep us alive, not happy, so the more you try to push away your fear, the stronger it will become.The

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4:20

What Will People Think?

Heretic Hereafter Podcast ·

2026/05/13

Early in my blogging career, I pitched my first-ever interview. I wanted to ask a local butcher about ethical meat buying. In emails, he seemed eager for the exposure. I don’t know if he checked out my itty-bitty blog before agreeing, what I do know is that I walked in with my notebook, recorder, and my toddler son in a stroller, the butcher took one look at us and doubled over laughing.I’m not exaggerating—he laughed at me for an uncomfortably long time. Long enough for my patient smile to fall off

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3:37

Confessions of a Scaredy-Cat

Heretic Hereafter Podcast ·

2026/05/06

Here’s the thing no one warns you about healing: once you stop numbing all your feelings and start facing yourself, you’ll be confronted with a lot of ugliness. You think you’re a nice person? Look, here are all your petty resentments! Pretty sure you’re capable? Here are all your failures and shortcomings! Think you’re rational? Behold your bizarre late-night fears!I speak from personal experience. As I’ve worked towards mindfulness, I’ve noticed how much fear dominates my thinking.Heretic

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3:55

The Sacred Power of an Off-Key Beatles Song

Heretic Hereafter Podcast ·

2026/04/29

“There are no unsacred places. There are only sacred places and desecrated places.”-Wendell BerryA few years ago, I was hanging out with a friend who’s an Episcopal priest, when the topic of wedding music came up. I told her that I’d walked down the aisle to The Beatles’ “And I Love Her,” played by my brother, Karl, on acoustic guitar.My friend explained that, in the Episcopal church, “only sacred music is allowed,” so no Beatles for weddings.I wondered if she was right. Ought I have marched down

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