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PODCAST

Consume Us

Andy and Patrick

Where two ill-informed fools try to make sense of the world and its media. Starring an American guy called Patrick, and some British bloke called Andy.

comedy

All Episodes

16:51

Season 3 Catchy Catch-Up Wrap-Up

Consume Us ·

2023/09/03

Here we are back again, and closing the book on Season 3 as we prepare to unleash season 4 on the world!

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48:16

3.9 - Nature, Hiking and Mental Health

Consume Us ·

2023/03/03

The great outdoors is calling us on this episode as we discuss nature, hiking and segue into mental health. Heady topics indeed, but we also discover that Patrick loves mangoes and golf is bullshit. Get in touch – consumeuspodcast@gmail.com

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50:30

3.8 - Fashion

Consume Us ·

2023/02/17

We are not exactly dedicated followers of fashion on the Consume Us podcast, but knowing nothing about a topic has never stopped us before, so join us as we discuss…fashion. Patrick is surprisingly passionate about the topic and feels we are looking at a breakdown of the social contract, and Andy learns that he is making several faux pas in his dress sense. Plus, a look into the twosome’s wardrobes (it isn’t pretty).

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50:58

3.7 - Hermits

Consume Us ·

2023/02/03

‘No man is an island,’ goes the old saying. But a (wo)man can be stranded on an island and hence effectively BE an island. Or something. Anyway, this week Patrick and Andy look at the rare phenomenon of the hermit. What makes a person cut themselves off from society? Is it intrinsically a symptom of mental illness? Or something else? If you have listened to Consume Us before then you know we don’t really have a conclusion, but it’s a fun and scary ride, so listen along. And props to the Stan and Dan

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49:56

3.6 - Zoos

Consume Us ·

2023/01/27

Zoos come under the Consume Us microscope this episode, as we debate the moral merits (and otherwise) of keeping animals in captivity. Is it a legitimate form of conservation, or an archaic hangover from Victorian times? We also look at Jurassic Park, rant on religion, and discuss Steve Jobs’ diet. Note: we mis-name Chris Pratt as Chris Pine several times. Apologies to Mr Pine.

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53:34

3.5 - Robots

Consume Us ·

2023/01/20

Are robots the path to mankind’s liberation from chores? Or are they the avatars of our demise? And can we have sex with them? So many important topics raised in this episode, as Patrick and Andy explore the world of robotics. Plenty of famous robots get a nod along the way, including R2D2, Robocop, Terminator and more. Plus a look into Andy’s toolbox.

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01:00:11

3.4 - Alternate Realities

Consume Us ·

2023/01/13

Imagine a world where cats can hear us think. Imagine a world where the grass is blue and the sky is green. Sound like nonsense? Well, perhaps you’re just programmed to think that way, because maybe all of life and existence is a simulation. Maybe. So this week we’re taking a crack at alternate realities. But don’t worry, it’s not all complicated theoretical science chat, we also find time to discuss the merits of various hot sandwiches. Which doesn’t make a lot of sense, so it must have been a

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57:29

3.3 - Sitcoms

Consume Us ·

2023/01/06

We all love a good laugh, so join Patrick and Andy as they break down the world of sitcoms. Do laugh tracks ever elevate the on-screen hilarity? Is Partridge the best comic creation of all time? So much to discuss. And please note, this episode is sponsored by new sitcom ‘Crazy, Crazy World’!

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53:03

3.2 - Smoking

Consume Us ·

2022/12/30

This week we cough our lungs up and talk all about smoking. Love it or hate it, nicotine addiction is as old as the hills and not showing any sign of letting up. So join us as we break down smoking advertising over the years, quitting smoking, the future of smoking, and all sorts of other tangents.

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51:30

3.1 - Christmas Gift Giving

Consume Us ·

2022/12/23

The second Consume Us Christmas extravaganza! We are always here to support our listeners at difficult times and so as the cost of living and rate of inflation continue to rise, we tackle one of society’s biggest issues – what to buy your cat for Christmas. This year Shakin’ Stevens makes a much anticipated return to the show, and Patrick makes a truly shocking revelation. Also up for discussion are zombie trees and golf people. So Merry Christmas everyone and a happy 2023!

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42:42

Season 2 Wrap Up

Consume Us ·

2022/11/24

So that's a wrap on another season of Consume Us, so this week Patrick and Andy take stock and listen to some feedback. Along the way, new episode ideas are discovered, listeners are insulted and it is finally decided to retire monsters with rules. We'll be back at Christmas for the start of season 3 :)

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48:07

2.10 - Personality

Consume Us ·

2022/10/23

What is personality? And more importantly, can it be measured and classified? Important questions, so this week Patrick and Andy examine personality tests. Do they work? Are they harmful? How do we ourselves classify? And are we a compatible couple? Or is the whole thing just a load of old bollocks?

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47:07

2.9 - Magic or Magik

Consume Us ·

2022/10/14

Magic AKA Magik is under discussion this week as Patrick and Andy try to make sense of the hidden world beyond our own. And card tricks. Lots of boring card tricks. And along the way we realise that Jedis are witches, you don’t need to wash trousers all that often, and Patrick gives us the greatest excuse to get out of social situations ever invented.

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53:30

2.8 - Puppets

Consume Us ·

2022/10/07

Puppets are a divisive thing, both innately cute and deeply unsettling all at once. So join us as we shove our hands up the back end of a stuffed animal to break down the world of puppets. We also look at the evolution of childrens’ TV, Japanese anime, and although we are not the batcast, a lot of Batman comes up too.

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50:58

2.7 - The Undead AKA Zombies

Consume Us ·

2022/10/01

The undead AKA zombies come under the Consume Us microscope this week, as we look into the phenomenon of the undead in popular culture. But the pair come to realise that we talk about monsters a lot on this podcast, but there is nothing more horrendous than nature. Also in this episode is Andy’s brush with movie-making magic, and the real-life story of Walking Corpse Syndrome.

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54:22

2.6 - Antiheroes

Consume Us ·

2022/09/16

This week it’s all about good bad guys. Or is that bad good guys? Let’s just call them antiheroes. Andy makes a chart to define antiheroes, which collapses under the weight of its own argument, while Patrick casts himself as an antihero in his day-to-day life. Also, the two develop a film about killer trees, go on a tangent about Wrexham Football Club, realise that both their wives love Lord Of The Rings for some reason, and end up talking about the legend that is/was D.B. Cooper. TRIGGER WARNING -

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49:05

2.5 - Revenge

Consume Us ·

2022/09/09

We all love a good revenge story, but what does it actually do to our lives in the real world? This week we find out, as Patrick reveals a real life (maybe) story about the best kind of revenge – the cold, premeditated kind. And we learn that revenge is self-destructive on a psychological level, and is actually worse than the original wound another inflicted on you. Plus, a brief break down of Stallone movies for some reason.

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57:51

2.4 - Werewolves

Consume Us ·

2022/09/02

This week we allow Patrick another of his ‘Monsters’ episodes (sorry, it’s the only way to keep him from sulking) and we talk about werewolves. Lots of things to discuss on this one, including: Dr Patrick teaches us about brain magnets; The eeriness and pull of a full moon; Patrick is not happy that Andy is not taking proceedings seriously; And we learn that werewolves can play basketball, but they can't play chess.

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58:24

2.3 - Collecting

Consume Us ·

2022/08/26

This week Patrick is giddy, because this is a topic that is held deeply in his heart (and several closets it turns out). Collecting. We’ve been talking about talking about this topic both on and off the mic for years, so here it finally is. Patrick breaks collectors down into three categories, while Andy presents the psychology of collecting and of letting go. Quite a bit of comic talk this week!

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45:23

2.2 - Swearing

Consume Us ·

2022/08/19

This week we talk all about swearing - the uses of swearing, our relationship to swearing, social interaction based around swearing, when it’s appropriate to swear, and what swearing does between people and the intimacy or otherwise it can foster. It probably goes without saying that this one is FULL of explicit language. So if that sounds like your cup of tea then please listen. If not… then fuck off. By the way, Patrick’s favourite swear word is ‘bloody’, which doesn’t really count.

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