The Affair Recovery Room

00:39:03

Making Sense: Creating a Story of WHY

The Affair Recovery Room ·

2026/10/01

When Dana Killion's husband finished rehab for alcoholism, he came home with more than a commitment to sobriety. He came home with a confession: a pattern of infidelity that ran through more than twenty years of their marriage. "It caused me to question everything," Dana says. Their marriage, his commitment, what had been real, and even her own identity.Over the next eight years, Dana walked through the end of that marriage, the deaths of both parents, a move across the country, and the loss of her

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00:35:21

Go FFISHing for What’s Beneath Your Anger

The Affair Recovery Room ·

2026/09/24

Anger has a bad reputation. We treat it as the thing to fix: control it, suppress it, or let it out and hope that helps. But anger isn't the problem. It's the announcement that there is one.In this episode, Tim uses the image of a fishing bobber to reframe what anger actually is. When the bobber dips, you don't stare at the bobber — you want to know what's on the line. Anger works the same way, and after betrayal, the thing tugging underneath is almost always something your partner needs to hear but

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00:30:16

Beyond Stay or Go: Who You Become after Betrayal

The Affair Recovery Room ·

2026/09/11

In this episode, I talk with psychotherapist and author Lauren LaRusso about her new book, Beyond Infidelity. Lauren's perspective is both professional and personal: her marriage ended after her husband's affair. Mine ended after I was the one who broke trust. We come at this experience from opposite sides, and that contrast shapes much of our conversation.Lauren makes a claim that may shift how you see your situation: the moment infidelity is revealed, the original version of your relationship is

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00:06:25

Bonus: Beyond Infidelity

The Affair Recovery Room ·

2026/09/05

This bonus episode is an introduction to Tim Tedder’s upcoming interview with therapist and writer Lauren LaRusso, author of the book Beyond Infidelity: How to Turn the End of Your Relationship into the Beginning of Your Life. In this episode, Tim talks about the book, explains why he recommends it, and plays clips from his conversation with Lauren.LINKS and EXTRASEpisode Page: https://www.affairhealing.com/podcasts/072Buy Beyond Betrayal on AmazonRead Tim’s review of Beyond Betrayal

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00:40:58

The Patterns We Learn: Attachment Styles, Infidelity,...

The Affair Recovery Room ·

2026/08/27

Long before we could think about it, we learned how close was safe to get. Those patterns (researchers call them attachment styles) quietly shape how we handle conflict, disappointment, and closeness for the rest of our lives.Bev Mitelman, founder of Securely Loved, joins Tim to explain the four attachment styles and how they show up in infidelity: why the dismissive-avoidant pattern carries the highest risk of cheating, why betrayal cuts so deeply for the anxious-preoccupied partner, and why fixing

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00:15:18

Bonus: Free “Good Sex” eBook

The Affair Recovery Room ·

2026/08/19

Three conversations. Three very different women. One idea that surfaced in all three: good sex doesn't begin with technique, and it doesn't begin with your partner. It begins with being honest about yourself.In this bonus episode, Tim revisits the three-part series on sexuality — sexual shame with therapist and intimacy coach Jocelyn Silva, sexual pleasure with intimacy coach Linda Landon, and sexual reconnection after betrayal with sex and intimacy coach Xanet Pailet — and shares an excerpt from

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00:29:29

The Word After Sorry

The Affair Recovery Room ·

2026/08/14

Episode NotesYou apologized. You meant it. It didn't land.If that's happened to you, on either side of the conversation, this episode is about why.Two words in, an apology can still be intact. "I'm sorry." Nothing has gone wrong yet. It's the third word that decides everything, and there are four that show up in that position over and over again, each one quietly erasing the ownership that came before it.Through a series of dramatized conversations, we listen to all four fail, and then hear the same

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00:34:57

Sexual Reconnection

The Affair Recovery Room ·

2026/08/05

After an affair, the sexual relationship rarely returns to what it was. Some couples find themselves in an unexpected surge of intensity. Others can't imagine being touched at all. Most land somewhere in between, unsure whether what they're experiencing is healing or avoidance.In this conversation, sex and intimacy coach Xanet Pailet joins me to talk about what sexual reconnection actually requires — and why so many couples begin in the wrong place.Xanet brings both professional expertise and

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00:32:51

Sexual Pleasure

The Affair Recovery Room ·

2026/07/29

For many couples, especially those recovering from infidelity, sex carries an impossible weight. The betrayed partner may feel pressure to perform, to compete, to prove something. The involved partner may be desperate to demonstrate change. And underneath it all, many people have never learned what genuinely brings them pleasure in the first place.In this second episode of our series on sexuality, intimacy coach Linda Landon offers a different path. Rather than chasing better technique or bigger

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00:33:22

Sexual Shame

The Affair Recovery Room ·

2026/07/22

Sexual shame rarely announces itself. It settles in early—a look on a parent's face, a warning message from the pulpit, a silence where an honest conversation should have been—and it quietly teaches us that something about who we are is wrong. In this episode of The Affair Recovery Room, Tim sits down with therapist and intimacy coach Jocelyn Silva to trace how that shame shapes us, and how it can set the stage for betrayal long before any line is crossed.Jocelyn grew up in a conservative Catholic

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00:14:48

When Betrayal Begins Before an Affair

The Affair Recovery Room ·

2026/07/09

In this first PageTalk episode of the podcast, Tim revisits his recent article The Betrayal Often Begins Before the Affair, which was posted on AffairHealing.com. Written after the release of the previous episode (Unshakeable), the article explores how betrayal often begins long before an affair, in the quiet erosion of a couple's emotional connection. Tim shares his own reflection on breaking his marriage promises years before his affair began, then makes room for another side of the story: a

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00:20:26

Unshakeable: Strong Lessons from Hard Experiences

The Affair Recovery Room ·

2026/07/02

Suzanne Leydecker built a life that looked good from the outside: a husband at Goldman Sachs, children, a home in New York. Then one night, over what had been an ordinary date-night dinner, he told her he was leaving. He'd already arranged for his mother to fly in and help her "pull herself together."In this conversation, Suzanne talks candidly about the months that followed—the summer she buried herself in fun to avoid the pain, the late-night deck conversations where she realized he was deciding

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00:22:16

Understanding EMDR: It’s Weird, but It Works

The Affair Recovery Room ·

2026/06/25

If you've been betrayed, you already know that the pain doesn't stay in the past. It follows you into ordinary moments—a song, a smell, a place, a glance at a phone—and suddenly you're flooded all over again. That's not weakness; it’s trauma. It deserves real treatment.In this episode, I talk with Laurel van der Toorn, trauma therapist and founder of Laurel Therapy Collective, about a modality that has helped many betrayed partners move out of that cycle of activation: EMDR.Laurel is refreshingly

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00:34:33

The Betrayer’s Pain

The Affair Recovery Room ·

2026/06/17

Most people who follow this podcast are betrayed partners, and understandably so. The pain of being cheated on is acute, disorienting, and often traumatic. The Recovery Room is committed to honoring that experience.But genuine recovery, the kind that produces lasting change and real safety in a relationship, requires more than behavior management from the person who had the affair. It requires something harder with more work “on the inside.” And in this episode, we go there.Dr. Monique Thompson, a

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00:29:01

Trust Yourself After Being Betrayed

The Affair Recovery Room ·

2026/06/09

One of the most disorienting effects of betrayal is what it does to a woman's sense of self. She may have been strong, capable, even confident—and then the discovery of infidelity strips away the ground she was standing on. She doesn't just lose trust in her partner. She loses trust in herself.In this conversation, Tim talks with life coach Zerina Dervini about why betrayal hits identity so hard and how women can begin to find their way back. Zerina draws from her own story and her five-phase

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00:39:26

Elisa, 6 Years Later: Life After He Left

The Affair Recovery Room ·

2026/06/03

Six years ago, Elisa's husband told her he was leaving their marriage for another woman. In the original three-part "Elisa's Story" series, she shared the raw experience of that first year: the shock, the grief, the impact on her sons, and the anxiety of navigating co-parenting with the woman who had replaced her.Now, six years later, Tim Tedder revisits that conversation with Elisa to explore what long-term healing actually looks like. What has changed? What still hurts? How does she interact with

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00:22:11

The Broken Marriage, Her Exit Affair

The Affair Recovery Room ·

2026/05/27

Joni Woods grew up with a clear picture of what marriage was supposed to look like—and an equally clear sense of what a faithful wife was supposed to do when it didn't. For fifteen years, she stayed in a marriage defined by criticism, control, and abuse, holding the appearance of a healthy relationship together while her church community watched. It wasn't until her children became targets of her husband's behavior that she finally filed for divorce.On her way out, she had an affair with a married

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00:28:40

Men’s Groups: Show Up. Be Real.

The Affair Recovery Room ·

2026/05/19

What makes a man emotionally unavailable? And what does it take to change that? In this episode, Tim Tedder sits down with Jason Lange, a men's coach and group facilitator, to explore one of the most underaddressed dimensions of relationship healing: the inner world of men.Jason draws on his own journey to explain how many men enter adulthood without two fundamental skills: self-awareness and the ability to communicate what they feel. The cultural script of masculinity, built around stoicism,

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00:19:19

A Conversation with My Ex: Relationships After Divorce

The Affair Recovery Room ·

2026/05/12

The hardest part of healing isn't the moment you decide to forgive. It's every ordinary moment after that—the birthday parties, the graduations, the holidays—where you choose it again and again.In this final episode of A Conversation with My Ex, Tim and Konnie talk about the relationship they've built in the years since their divorce. It hasn't been without struggle. There have been seasons of tension, moments of hurt, and the ongoing challenge of staying cooperative when old wounds made that feel

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00:20:35

The Children’s Experience of My Affair, Our Divorce

The Affair Recovery Room ·

2026/05/05

Affairs often have multiple victims. This episode gives voice to some of them.Tim and Konnie's story has been told, in their own words, across two honest episodes. But there were others in that story, too. Five children who didn't choose what happened, didn't cause it, and couldn't stop it, but who carried it nonetheless, each in their own way.In this bonus episode, released before the final conversation between Tim and Konnie, two of those children speak. Their oldest son and youngest daughter

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