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PODCAST

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

Esther Perel Global Media

Every Monday morning step into the office of iconic psychotherapist Esther Perel and listen in as real people in search of insight bare the raw, intimate, and profound details of their stories. From breakups and open relationships to workplace conflicts and fractures in the family, it’s a place to hear our own stories reflected in the lives of others. So…where should we begin? Part of the Vox Media Podcast Network.

society & culture mental health

All Episodes

47:22

Trapped In Their Own Story

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel ·

2026/02/23

Their whole relationship is based on one big misunderstanding, with infidelity on both sides. Years later, they still can't see the other's perspective. Esther is returning to SXSW on March 14th for a special live episode of Where Should We Begin. Visit http://voxmedia.com/sxsw to learn more and preregister. Producer’s Note: When our anonymous guests do a session with Esther for the podcast, it is an act of generosity for everyone who listens. These sessions are meant not only to support the

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52:38

What if Dating Isn't For Me?

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel ·

2026/02/16

She's 26 and has never been in a relationship that made her feel happier or more fulfilled than when she's single. She's questioning whether being in a relationship is right for her. Esther helps her explore the issues stemming from her childhood, her need for perfection, and how these impact her romantic life. Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited for time, clarity, and anonymity. If you have a question you would like to talk through

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54:40

I Have a Crush on a Coworker

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel ·

2026/02/09

She has a crush on her coworker, which feels thrilling and unsettling all at once. Fresh off a divorce and shaped by earlier relationships marked by instability and self doubt, she worries she may be confusing desire with grief or slipping back into old patterns. As she sorts through the pull she feels toward her coworker, Esther helps her explore what this new spark might actually mean. Together, they look at how to trust her instincts, honor the reawakening she feels, and let something new unfold

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54:22

Our Sex Life is a Disaster

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel ·

2026/02/02

We hear from a couple who have long been happy in their marriage, except for one thing: their sex life. In moments of intimacy, one freezes, the other hesitates, and they end up locked in a cycle of uncertainty and distress. On the precipice of becoming parents, they come to Esther worried about how their sex life might further deteriorate in this next stage of life. Is it possible to restore the magical physical connection that they once felt? Esther guides them through somatic exercises to

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49:13

I Told My Friend I Was in Love with Her, Then She...

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel ·

2026/01/26

Esther speaks with a young man whose confession of love for a close friend sets off a chain reaction he never expected. After exposing his love, his secret is out, his five-year relationship ends, and his friend group begins to fracture. He is now navigating heartbreak, betrayal, embarrassment, and what feels like the loss of his village. Esther helps him examine the deeper patterns beneath the chaos.Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are

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42:52

It's Very Hard to Live with a Saint

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel ·

2026/01/19

This is a classic session of Where Should We Begin? Barely a year into marriage, they're trapped in a cycle of explosive conflict. She can do no right, and he can do no wrong. Producer’s Note: When our anonymous guests do a session with Esther for the podcast, it is an act of generosity for everyone who listens. These sessions are meant not only to support the people in the room with Esther, but all of us who learn from their stories. Our stories have many chapters, and what you hear is just one

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55:12

Was I Used for a Visa?

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel ·

2026/01/12

She comes to Esther reeling from the end of a five-year relationship marked by love, deceit, and manipulation. After discovering her partner’s infidelities and hearing a therapist describe him as a possible psychopath or narcissist, she struggles to understand what was real. Together, they work to untangle the conflicting truths, rebuild her trust in her own perceptions, and explore how she can approach love with greater clarity.Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone

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60:29

Can Our Love Survive Our Differences?

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel ·

2026/01/05

They met dancing, and it was love at first sight. But only after they began dating did they realize the vast differences between them: differences in their core values, religious beliefs, political affiliations, sexual identities, and immigration statuses. And yet, they love each other deeply and hope to start a family together. He comes to Esther wondering how to raise children with someone who holds such different values from him and his family. Her question is deeper: by loving him, is she

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44:14

He Loves Her, His Family Rejects Her

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel ·

2025/12/22

This is a classic session of Where Should We Begin? She left her life, her family and her country for a man she met on Reddit. Their love is real, but his family has been hell. Producer’s Note: When our anonymous guests do a session with Esther for the podcast, it is an act of generosity for everyone who listens. These sessions are meant not only to support the people in the room with Esther, but all of us who learn from their stories. Our stories have many chapters, and what you hear is just

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49:18

The Permission to Be and Not Just the Pressure to Do

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel ·

2025/12/15

He comes to Esther with a question about how to feel worthy without constantly having to prove himself. For him, it’s not just personal, it’s also racial. Defining himself on what he calls the “path of black excellence,” achievement has become both a burden and a measure of identity. Together, they explore what it means to experience calm and worthiness, not through doing, but simply by being. Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited for

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53:17

Love in War - Where Are They Now?

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel ·

2025/12/08

Three years after Esther spoke with a Ukrainian couple separated by war, she calls them back to learn where they are now and whether their relationship has survived intact. They have made their way back to each other, but though they have reunited physically, they find themselves more emotionally distant than ever before. Knowing that she can’t change the circumstances of their lives, Esther offers suggestions for them to maintain their sense of playfulness, imagination, and connection, reminding

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51:10

Mothering My Mother Into Mothering Me

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel ·

2025/12/01

Since the age of 8, she’s been the one holding her mother together and shouldering adult responsibilities long before her time. Now, as an adult herself, she’s ready to step out of the caretaker role and invite her mother to finally be the parent. Esther helps her explore how to loosen these deeply entrenched dynamics and create space for a more balanced, reciprocal relationship.Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited for time, clarity,

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48:57

You Need Help to Help Her

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel ·

2025/11/24

This is a classic session of Where Should We Begin? A husband and wife are united in their desire to help their daughter, two years after she suffered a breakdown and moved home, shutting herself off from her family and friends. Esther urges them to examine the way pressure and expectations – no matter how well-intentioned – can shape a child’s upbringing.Also, please join me on Entre Nous, my new home on Substack for anyone who wants to live, love, and work with more connection and imagination

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50:44

One Relationship. Two Truths.

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel ·

2025/11/17

She’s reeling from a relationship that brought both deep love and deep betrayal. After discovering that her boyfriend had been lying about the terms of their polyamorous arrangement, she’s left struggling to reconcile the intimacy they shared with the deception that shattered it. Esther helps her understand how to integrate these two truths and the transformative power of honoring both love and pain in the journey toward healing. Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone

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53:04

The One Who Stays and the One Who Goes

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel ·

2025/11/10

They met in vet school and married just as they reached graduation. But now his work takes him around the world, forcing them to live apart for months at a time. He’s ready to start a family, but she’s hesitant: how can they think about children when they’re often separated by distance? As they wonder about their next phase of life, Esther helps them uncover what sits beneath the surface: the loneliness of the one who stays, the guilt of the one who goes, and the challenge of learning to stay

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48:04

Esther Calling - In Loving You, I Learned to Love Myself

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel ·

2025/11/03

She unknowingly changed the course of his life, and he's loved her ever since. It's been decades, and even though he now dates men, he wonders how to live with these feelings of what he calls unrequited love. How do you hold a candle of gratitude for someone who will never know how much they meant to you?Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited for time, clarity, and anonymity. If you have a question you would like to talk through with

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49:22

Esther Calling - I Accidentally Dated An OnlyFans Star

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel ·

2025/10/27

Post-breakup rumination is a familiar spiral. We replay the signs, question our judgment, and wonder how we didn’t see it coming. This week, Esther speaks with a man grappling with the lingering grief and betrayal of discovering that his ex wasn't exactly who he thought she was. Together, they explore the complex aftermath of a relationship.Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited for time, clarity, and anonymity. If you have a question

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46:56

The Chronic Philanderer

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel ·

2025/10/20

This is a classic session of Where Should We Begin? He's been cheating on her for years, and she's had enough. Now she wants to know: is he in or is he out? Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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47:14

Esther Calling - He Doesn't Believe in Marriage, But...

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel ·

2025/10/13

When her younger sister gets engaged, a woman finds herself spiraling with unexpected grief and frustration. She’s spent years in relationships with men who shy away from marriage, and the news stirs up deeper childhood wounds—secrets about her family and questions of belonging. With Esther’s help, she begins to face the shame she’s carried and the tricky balance between wanting to be seen and wanting to stay true to herself.Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call

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55:37

Is It Our ADHD, OCD, and PTSD? Or Is It Us?

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel ·

2025/10/06

A couple sits down with Esther Perel to untangle trust, control, and intimacy after becoming parents. He feels weighed down by anxiety and responsibility; she struggles with ADHD, resistance to structure, and fears of falling short in her art career. Their love is strong, but everyday tensions spiral into power struggles. Esther challenges them to move beyond their labels and find a new connection.Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your

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