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PODCAST

Jiujitsu Couples Therapy

Therapy is in session! Susan and Joshua Citrak- Tom DeBlasse Masters 5 brown belts- discuss our journey, training together as a couple, being a martial arts family, life as an older jiujitsu athlete, keeping the proper mindset and perspective in training and so much more. (This is not a podcast about techniques, drama, dissecting matches, though we do reserve the right to do any or all of them on any given episode)

society & culture relationships

All Episodes

00:48:53

Plateaus in Jiujitsu/ Breaking Confirmation Bias

Jiujitsu Couples Therapy ·

2026/04/13

In this episode we ask: who are you avoiding in the training room and why? We discuss the psychological concept of confirmation bias and how it affects your training progress, mindset, and relationships on the mats. We explore the many ways in which our biases play politics, cliques and teaching methods in the gym and look at practical ways to identify and challenge these ingrained mental patterns to elevate your game and personal growth.Confirmation Bias in Jiu Jitsu37:49 - Strategies for

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00:48:34

"Earned My Blue Belt, Now What?/ I've Lost My Passion...

Jiujitsu Couples Therapy ·

2026/04/01

In this episode we discuss: How to find your footing as a new blue belt- what you should focus on and what realistic goals to set, how to look for opportunities within your gym to build leadership skills. Also, it’s ok to be a hobbyist, jiujitsu doesn’t have to be your whole life, how to overcome boredom in jiujitsu as so much more.00:35 - The significance of blue belt as a milestone and common ego pitfalls01:04 - Expectations versus reality at blue belt and differentiation from other belts05:19 -

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00:48:31

Will BJJ Make My Kid A Bully?/ Afraid of Losing in...

Jiujitsu Couples Therapy ·

2026/03/24

We discuss: whether BJJ is really good for kid’s self defense, will jiujitsu make my kid into a bully, the value of learning martial arts virtues (discipline, confidence, courage) at a young age, coaching leadership styles, I hate losing in front of my coach (and he/she probably hates watching you lose), reenforcing positive mindsets no matter the outcome and so much more.(00:00) - Introduction: Kids' self-defense vs. fighting instinct & coaching influence(03:02) - Is Jiu Jitsu beneficial for

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00:39:34

Etiquette For Visiting BJJ Gym/ Essential Tips for...

Jiujitsu Couples Therapy ·

2026/03/02

Chapters00:00 Introduction to Gym Etiquette07:27 Observing and Adapting to Different Cultures13:57 Understanding Uniform Policies19:14 Respecting Training Norms and Rolling Light28:10 Creating a Welcoming Environment as a Coach38:22 Final Thoughts on Gym EtiquetteResourcesBrazilian Jiu-Jitsu Etiquette Guide - https://www.bjjheroes.com/bjj-news/bjj-etiquette-guideIBJJF Rules and Policies - https://www.ibjjf.com/rulesTravel Tips for BJJ Practitioners -

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00:59:29

"What's Happening at Atos/ Is Jiujitsu Safe?"

Jiujitsu Couples Therapy ·

2026/02/23

In this episode we discuss: the fallout from the Atos situation and the muted response to it, how can jiujitsu clean it’s image in light of a slew of similar allegations, women in co-equal positions of power at BJJ gyms (but how that might not be silver bullet for the current situation), women defending the patriarchy when it serves them, it’s time for a real, accountable governing body for American jiujitsu, possible solutions and mitigations for unsavory gyms and we propose a few ideas of what to

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00:42:57

"Turn Plataeus into Peaks/ Character Over Kirmuras"

Jiujitsu Couples Therapy ·

2026/01/20

In this episode we discuss: The 3-3-3 rule, a scientifically-backed way to improve your focus and intentionality in training and grow new skills quicker, the importance of being curious about jiu-jitsu, understanding all the ways getting into specific positional engagements, unrealistic expectations of kids, character is the most important skill and commodification and gentrification of jiu-jitsu.

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00:46:07

What Do Stripes Mean?/ $300 Gym Membership!!!

Jiujitsu Couples Therapy ·

2026/01/12

In this episode we discuss: Getting promoted, the significance of stripes to the human reward system, what stripes actually mean, jiujitsu is a luxury good, how gym owners can reward loyalty in trying economic times, the challenges of changing gyms once you’ve become an established grappler, what happens when real physical conflicts happen at the gym, is a testosterone problem or a culture problem?Chapters00:00 Promotion Time!05:26 The Significance of Stripes and Belts11:30 The Business of Jiu Jitsu

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00:51:14

"Dr Andy Moon P.T./ Wash Your Belt"

Jiujitsu Couples Therapy ·

2026/01/05

In this episode we talk with Dr. Andy Moon, Physical Therapist, specializing in treating Jiujitsu athletes. We talk about protocols for training off the mat to help keep you on the mats, common injuries and how to mitigate them, advice for injured grapplers, the importance of being a specialist who understand the sport of jiujitsu, ineffective bjj warm ups, over training and so much more. Also, wash your damn belt.Back on the Mat PT: https://www.backonthematpt.com/IG:

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00:29:08

Bonus: NYE Jiu-Jitsu Resolutions

Jiujitsu Couples Therapy ·

2026/01/01

In the bonus episode we give tips on successful New Years Resolutions for jiujitsu, reflect on our injuries of year, and provide a wishlist for the jiujitsu community in 2026.Chapters00:00 New Year Reflections and Intentions05:43 The Importance of Cool Down Routines12:17 Finding Joy and Playfulness in Training18:13 Redefining Goals and Achievements in Jiu-Jitsu23:25 Wishes for the Jiu-Jitsu Community

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00:55:03

We Make People Uncomfortable/ My Eyes!

Jiujitsu Couples Therapy ·

2025/12/30

In this episode of Jiu-Jitsu Couples Therapy, we discuss the reality that most of us can’t beat a 20 blue belt who wrestles, gyms that don’t take drop-ins, there are people you should avoid training with, why we don’t roll every class, our relationship makes certain people uncomfortable, some guys just want to be jerks and the fallacy that’s ok because we’re a “Fight Gym.”Chapters05:28 Experiencing Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu Culture11:13 Navigating Training with Different Skill Levels17:10 Reclaiming

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00:46:41

YouTube Jiujitsu/Kids Pay the Bills

Jiujitsu Couples Therapy ·

2025/12/22

YouTube Jiujitsu/Kids Pay the BillsIn this week’s episode we discuss: journaling as a means to retain knowledge after class, way in which you should and shouldn’t use YouTube and learning the difference between looking cool and possibly hurting your partner, video taping your rolls and analyzing them with a coach, kids class should be the most important to build for a gym owner, tips for coaches on how to build a solid coaching roster, and how much time it realistically takes to build a solid

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00:52:02

Burnout/Jiu Jitsu for the Streets

Jiujitsu Couples Therapy ·

2025/12/15

In this episode of Jiu Jitsu Couples Therapy, we discuss the importance of taking breaks, but also give you clues and cues for making sure you find your way back to training, the impact of betting on sports, pausing your gym membership and the downstream effects to your gym and team, ways to keep training even when your budget may not be able to afford it, we add to the no go vs go only debate and Susan gives some tips for gym owners to keep those wanting a break engaged in the gym.Chapters00:52 UFC

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00:55:44

"Dumb Jiujitsu Traditions/ Hard Lessons" JCCT Ep. 9

Jiujitsu Couples Therapy ·

2025/12/08

In this episode of Jiujitsu Couples Therapy, Joshua and Susan Citrak discuss the varied paths one takes to becoming a black belt, belt gauntlets, the tone they set for the gym and what other negative aspects of training it implicates. Traditions that aren’t useful should be examined and discarded. Joshua also reflects on the business side of Jiu Jitsu, the deep care they had for their students and the transactional stance most people take in purchasing any service.Chapters00:00 Introduction to Jiu

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00:42:14

Being Playful/Good Competitor, Bad Teacher?

Jiujitsu Couples Therapy ·

2025/12/01

In this episode of Jiu Jitsu Couples Therapy, the hosts discuss the dynamics of training together as a couple in the context of Jiu Jitsu. They explore the balance between competition and teaching, the importance of playfulness in training, and how to enhance the experience for all partners involved. The conversation delves into the mindset of competitors versus instructors, the challenges of maintaining a fun and technical environment, and the influence of Brazilian culture on the playful aspects

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00:53:32

Cannabis in Jiujitsu/IBJJF Ruleset is Dumb?

Jiujitsu Couples Therapy ·

2025/11/24

In this episode of JJCT Joshua and Susan discuss their experiences at the No Gi Pans tournament in New York, how they barely make weight, navigated the pot heads in the parking lot, bemoaned the lack of facilities for athletes and crucially, didn’t try to fight the refs. They critique the IBJJF's tournament structure and express a desire for community engagement to improve the future of Jiu Jitsu.Chapters00:00 Introduction to Jiu Jitsu Couples Therapy09:53 Challenges Faced During Competition19:48

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00:55:01

No Gi Pans/Positional vs. Free Rolling

Jiujitsu Couples Therapy ·

2025/11/17

In this episode of Jiu Jitsu Couples Therapy, the hosts discuss the importance of mindset in training, the value of competition in martial arts, and how to communicate effectively with training partners. They explore the debate on whether competing is necessary to truly understand Jiu Jitsu, emphasizing that intentional training and personal growth are key components of the journey. The conversation also highlights the significance of being assertive in training and the necessity of losing to learn

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00:44:26

Training While Expecting/Gym Owner's PTSD

Jiujitsu Couples Therapy ·

2025/11/10

In this episode of Jiu Jitsu Couples Therapy, Joshua and Susan Citrak discuss the unique challenges and experiences of training in Jiu Jitsu as a couple, particularly during pregnancy and post-pregnancy. They emphasize the importance of community support, the realities of running a Jiu Jitsu gym, and the need for appreciation towards coaches. The conversation highlights the resilience required in martial arts and the significance of maintaining a positive mindset throughout the journey.Chapters00:00

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00:44:30

Choose Wisely/ Navigating Misogyny

Jiujitsu Couples Therapy ·

2025/11/03

In this episode of Jiu Jitsu Couples Therapy, Joshua and Susan Citrak discuss various aspects of training in Jiu Jitsu as a couple, including the dynamics of switching teams, the importance of choosing training partners wisely, and the unique challenges faced by older grapplers. They also delve into the significance of self-defense for women in martial arts and the pervasive issue of misogyny within the sport. The conversation wraps up with thoughts on navigating gym politics and the importance of

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00:39:34

Gym Romance/Training While Expecting

Jiujitsu Couples Therapy ·

2025/10/27

In this episode of Jiu Jitsu Couples Therapy, Joshua and Susan discuss the complexities of training together as a couple in the martial arts world. They explore the dynamics of relationships within the gym, the challenges of dating fellow practitioners, and the importance of individual growth in Jiu Jitsu. The conversation emphasizes the need for patience, understanding, and the potential pitfalls of mixing romance with training, ultimately advising against dating within the gym

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00:36:27

Train Your Training Partners

Jiujitsu Couples Therapy ·

2025/10/20

SummaryIn this episode of Jiu-Jitsu Couples Therapy, Joshua and Susan discuss their experiences training together as a couple, the challenges of competition training as older grapplers, and the importance of maintaining a positive mindset. They also delve into the complexities of keeping their children engaged in Jiu-Jitsu, addressing issues of promotion and recognition, of wins and losses and the life lessons learned through martial arts, particularly resilience.Chapters00:00 Introduction to

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21 results

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