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PODCAST

Securely You

Most of us were never taught how to love. We simply mirror what we grew up around, for better or worse. Securely You is about understanding your attachment style, recognizing your patterns, and learning to feel secure in yourself so you can create relationships that feel real in your soul. Each episode helps you reconnect with yourself and live more fully in alignment with who you truly are.

society & culture relationships

All Episodes

10:50

3 Green Flags That *Actually* Matter in Early Dating

Securely You ·

2026/04/15

Send us Fan Mail Everyone talks about red flags but what does it actually look like when something is going right in early dating? Today I break down 3 real-world green lights (green flags) that signal genuine interest, emotional maturity, and long-term potential. This isn’t surface-level advice. It’s real tealk about how it feels when something is building naturally. If you’ve been unsure how to read something early on, this will help you see it more clearly. Check out our website: TheMindfu...

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9:22

Why Healthy Interest Feels Like Pressure to the Wrong...

Securely You ·

2026/04/08

Ever feel like you’re dating in a grounded, intentional way, only to end up disappointed and confused? Today I'm playing a clip for you that I recently shared on social (give me a follow at @TheMindfulSPX) and reacting to it in real time, adding more context behind it. It dives into a part of early dating that most people don’t talk about and why someone might not actually be able to receive what you’re giving them (even if it’s coming from a good place). Send CT a text! Check out our website...

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12:33

You Can't Chase and Create Connection

Securely You ·

2026/04/01

Chasing doesn’t always look desperate or needy. Sometimes it's patient, calm and even well-intentioned. The problem is that any time you're chasing, you're moving toward someone who isn't moving toward you in the same way. In this episode, I walk through real-world examples of what chasing can look like in early dating and relationships, and why carrying the entire emotional weight of a connection prevents you from seeing whether someone can truly meet you there. Real connection isn't somethi...

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6:30

Partnership in Action (A Real-World Story)

Securely You ·

2026/03/25

I was recently talking with a friend about a new relationship he’s in, and the way he described it really stood out. In this episode, I reflect on the qualities he shared that are making this connection feel mutual and aligned. If you’re someone who desires true partnership, this episode is a reminder that this kind of connection is possible and that you are worthy of it. Send CT a text! Check out our website: TheMindfulSPX.com Connect on social: @TheMindfulSPX

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4:08

Capacity Will Always Matter More Than Timing

Securely You ·

2026/03/18

We often romanticize the timing of how relationships begin. We tell stories about how everything had to line up just right for two people to meet. But the funny thing is, “timing” is never the reason it works out. What actually determines whether a relationship can grow and last is the capacity both people bring into it. Their ability to communicate, stay present through challenges, and continue growing together. Send CT a text! Check out our website: TheMindfulSPX.com Connect on social: @The...

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4:26

What Matters Most in a Relationship? Try This Simple...

Securely You ·

2026/03/11

I share a simple tournament-style exercise that helps you discover what actually matters most to you in a relationship. What we say we want and what we truly prioritize don’t always line up. This quick exercise brings surprising clarity to the values that shape how you show up and what you truly desire in connection. You can download the PDF exercise at themindfulspx.com/resources Send CT a text! Check out our website: TheMindfulSPX.com Connect on social: @TheMindfulSPX

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12:17

When Avoidants Replace Flow With Control

Securely You ·

2026/02/24

One pattern I often see among avoidants is the use of rigid rules and certainty to stay emotionally protected. I talk through real dating experiences to show how this plays out and how control replaces co-creation, quietly undermining the very connection we're trying to create. Send CT a text! Check out our website: TheMindfulSPX.com Connect on social: @TheMindfulSPX

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4:43

Let It Go. Let It Freaking Go.

Securely You ·

2026/02/17

This episode is about letting go of the past so you can make space for the love you actually deserve. We talk about releasing old patterns, unanswered questions, and emotional baggage that gets carried into new connections. Because the right kind of love feels calm, clear, and secure, and it begins when you choose to be present instead of stuck. Send CT a text! Check out our website: TheMindfulSPX.com Connect on social: @TheMindfulSPX

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7:43

Understanding My Love Languages in Real Life

Securely You ·

2026/02/10

I break down the five love languages and share how I realized I don’t have just one or two, but a clear top three. I talk through real examples, how I figured out the order, and why certain expressions matter more to me than others. This clarity has changed how I show up in dating and relationships. Send CT a text! Check out our website: TheMindfulSPX.com Connect on social: @TheMindfulSPX

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9:56

Why Do You Show Up the Way You Do?

Securely You ·

2026/02/03

Why do you show up the way you do in dating and relationships? In this free-flowing episode, I reflect on emotional armor, self-protection, and the ways we avoid ourselves while searching for connection. This is an honest look at modern dating, internal awareness, and why real connection requires the capacity that only inner work can build. Send CT a text! Check out our website: TheMindfulSPX.com Connect on social: @TheMindfulSPX

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7:31

Compatibility VS Capacity

Securely You ·

2026/01/16

This episode explores the difference between compatibility and capacity in relationships. It’s something I’m seeing everywhere in modern dating, myself included. You can feel deeply aligned with someone and still hit a wall if they don’t have the capacity to truly show up. No amount of compatibility can make up for a lack of consistency or follow-through. If the capacity isn’t there on both sides, it’s never going to work, no matter how compatible you feel. Send CT a text! Check out our...

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8:59

Have You Experienced Flaw-Finding?

Securely You ·

2025/12/19

Flaw-finding can show up when emotional closeness starts to grow and a partner suddenly seems more focused on what is wrong than what is working. In this short episode, we talk about a pattern called flaw-finding and why it is often linked to avoidant attachment. It is less about your shortcomings and more about how someone creates space when connection begins to feel uncomfortable. If you have ever felt confused, criticized, or quietly pushed away, this episode offers language for an experie...

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10:52

Have You Experienced the Depth Trap With a Fearful...

Securely You ·

2025/12/11

Have you ever connected deeply with someone in the first few days, only for them to suddenly pull away? Fearful avoidants (FAs) love deep conversations, emotional growth, and self development. But when that depth becomes real and relational, their nervous system hits its limit. In this episode, I break down why FAs bond intensely, pull away just as fast, and create that confusing 'fast connection to fast exit' cycle. I also share what you can do to avoid falling into the trap and what FAs can...

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7:50

From “Why Don’t I Have That?” to “I Can’t Wait for That”

Securely You ·

2025/12/03

There’s a big difference between dating from a place of fear/desperation and dating from a place of possibility/excitement. In this episode, I break down what lack VS abundance looks like in real life, and how shifting into an abundance mindset can completely change the energy you bring into dating. Send CT a text! Check out our website: TheMindfulSPX.com Connect on social: @TheMindfulSPX

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4:53

A 5-minute Reflection For YOU

Securely You ·

2025/11/26

As you may be traveling to your Thanksgiving destination, let's switch it up here. While recording a recent episode, I ended with reflection questions that landed deeper than I expected, so I turned it into a standalone episode. You can use these questions as a quick reset to reconnect with yourself, to get clear about where you’re at, and how you want to show up moving forward. Send CT a text! Check out our website: TheMindfulSPX.com Connect on social: @TheMindfulSPX

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8:05

Flame Fast or Burn Slow – Why It’s Not Either/Or

Securely You ·

2025/11/19

We love to label connections as either “too fast” or “too slow,” but what if the truth lives somewhere in the middle? In this episode, I break down how society talks about pacing and why the real magic comes from co-creating the rhythm together, not following a predetermined script. Check out my website: TheMindfulSPX.com

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9:06

Resonance: The Unspoken Language of Connection

Securely You ·

2025/11/12

Have you ever met someone and instantly felt like you’d known them forever? No small talk. No effort. Just flow. In this episode, I share the story of a 8+ hour redeye flight where time disappeared and the conversation never stopped. The kind that reminds you what it feels like to be fully seen, heard, and in sync with another human being.

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11:27

Fearful Avoidant vs Dismissive Avoidant – Attachment...

Securely You ·

2025/11/05

The fearful avoidant and dismissive avoidant attachmen styles can seem similar on the surface – distant, independent, or hard to reach, but what’s happening underneath is very different. In this episode, we unpack the key differences between these two styles, why they’re often confused, and how each responds to closeness and connection. You’ll learn what drives their behaviors, what they both need to feel safe, and how to tell them apart in yourself or someone you love.

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9:18

Dismissive Avoidant Attachment Style 101

Securely You ·

2025/11/01

Do you take pride in your independence but sometimes feel misunderstood for needing space? Do relationships start to feel heavy when someone gets too close? In this episode, we explore the dismissive avoidant attachment style, the quiet ways it protects you from vulnerability, and how to stay open to connection while honoring your need for autonomy.

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4:29

Fearful Avoidant Attachment Style 101

Securely You ·

2025/10/31

Do you crave connection but also feel scared of getting too close? In this episode, we explore the fearful avoidant attachment style, the inner push and pull between wanting love and fearing it. You’ll understand what drives this pattern, how it shows up in relationships, and steps you can take to build more trust and emotional balance.

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23 results

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