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PODCAST

LET’S TALK ATTACHMENTS

Jessica Da Silva, LMFT

Welcome to “Let’s Talk Attachments”, a podcast all about ATTACHMENT THEORY! My name is Jessica Da Silva and I’m a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist & Attachment Coach helping you transform the way you experience love by teaching you the ins and outs of your attachment style in a practical and relatable way. Website: https://jessicadasilvacoaching.com/ Instagram: @thejessicadasilva Tiktok: @jessicadasilvacoaching Email: hello@jessicadasilvacoaching.com

education self-improvement

All Episodes

00:15:25

When Abandonment Is Emotional, Not Physical

LET’S TALK ATTACHMENTS ·

2025/11/09

Abandonment isn’t always about someone leaving. Sometimes, it’s about being unseen, unheard, or emotionally dismissed by the people closest to us. In this episode, I explore what emotional abandonment looks like, how it shapes our attachment style, and what we can do to begin healing from it.If you’re ready to break free from patterns of abandonment and feel secure within yourself and your relationships, you can learn about 1-1 Attachment Coaching with me here.

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00:37:08

Healing Your Attachment Through God with Gretchen...

LET’S TALK ATTACHMENTS ·

2025/10/14

In this heartfelt episode, I sit down with Gretchen Costanzo, a certified integrative attachment coach and creator of the Living Connected Method, to talk about what it means to create a secure relationship with God — and how transformational that can be for your healing and relationships. We explore how God can become your steady rock, the connection between faith and secure attachment, and what it looks like to date from a place of spiritual security and emotional grounding.Whether you’re

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00:17:46

Passive vs. Rigid Anxious Attacher: Two Faces of...

LET’S TALK ATTACHMENTS ·

2025/10/04

Not all anxious attachers look the same. In this episode, I explore the Passive Anxious Attacher, who protects against loss by shrinking back, and the Rigid Anxious Attacher, who holds on tightly to feel secure. You’ll learn how to tell the difference, why both stem from the same fear of abandonment, and how to begin moving toward secure connection.💛 Learn more about my Attachment Coaching Services or book a free Clarity Call through the link here.

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00:17:56

Passive vs. Rigid Avoidant: Two Faces of Avoidant...

LET’S TALK ATTACHMENTS ·

2025/09/28

Not all avoidants look the same. In this episode, I break down the two common ways avoidant attachment shows up in relationships: the Passive Avoidant, who protects themselves by shrinking back, and the Rigid Avoidant, who protects themselves through control and high standards. You’ll learn how to spot the difference, why it matters, and how each can begin moving toward more secure and fulfilling relationships.Learn about Attachment Coaching with Jessica here.Instagram: @thejessicadasilvaClient

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00:29:10

What Does Relationship Compatibility Really Mean?

LET’S TALK ATTACHMENTS ·

2025/09/05

In this episode of Let’s Talk Attachments, we dive into what compatibility in relationships really means—and why it matters so much more than chemistry alone. I’ll break down how to recognize true alignment in core values, lifestyle choices, emotional needs, and long-term goals, and share practical ways anxious, avoidant, fearful-avoidant, and secure attachers can assess compatibility in their dating lives. Whether you’ve been swept up by sparks before or want to avoid repeating old patterns, this

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00:14:38

Going Deep Too Soon vs. Secure Pacing in Dating

LET’S TALK ATTACHMENTS ·

2025/08/22

Diving deep too quickly in dating can feel exciting, but it often creates premature emotional bonds that blur your judgment of compatibility. In this episode, I explore why anxious and fearful avoidant attachers are especially prone to oversharing, rushing intimacy, and confusing emotional closeness with true alignment. You’ll learn practical ways to pace yourself—so you can stay authentic while also assessing compatibility with clarity and balance.*Learn about 1:1 Attachment Coaching with Jessica

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00:11:32

How I Molded Myself to Be a Magnet for Avoidant Partners

LET’S TALK ATTACHMENTS ·

2025/08/16

In this episode, I open up about how I subconsciously molded myself to attract avoidant partners and how that pattern was rooted in my earliest experiences of love. I share how I learned to appear “cool,” independent, and unattached in order to feel wanted, and why that left me feeling disconnected and unfulfilled in relationships.If you’ve ever found yourself downplaying your needs, pretending to be more “chill” than you are, or attracting people who can’t meet your emotional depth, this episode

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00:44:03

Thriving at Work Struggling in Love With Carly Ann

LET’S TALK ATTACHMENTS ·

2025/07/31

Why is it that ambitious, successful women can thrive in their careers but feel lost in love?In this episode, Attachment Therapist and Coach Carly Ann joins me to explore the emotional disconnect that many high-achieving women experience in relationships.We dive into:How codependency is hardwired into our understanding of loveThe difference between caring for a partner vs. trying to fix or save themWhy the skills that make you successful at work can backfire in romanceHow scarcity thinking keeps you

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00:10:01

Growing Pains of Becoming Securely Attached

LET’S TALK ATTACHMENTS ·

2025/07/22

This week on the podcast, we’re talking about the growing pains of becoming securely attached.⁣It’s not just sunshine and inner peace—real healing requires honesty, self-responsibility, and often, some very uncomfortable shifts.Whether it’s walking away from misaligned connections, holding firmer boundaries, or realizing that peace is better than intensity… becoming secure means learning to trust yourself, even when it’s hard.⁣If you’ve been wondering why this healing journey feels so tough

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00:08:19

How Avoidant Attachment Can Lead to Selfish Tendencies

LET’S TALK ATTACHMENTS ·

2025/07/15

We often talk about the emotional distance of avoidant attachers—but what if that “selfishness” is actually a protective coping mechanism?In this episode, I unpack how avoidant attachment can stem from emotional neglect and how hyper-independence becomes a substitute for unmet emotional needs. I share a personal story, common patterns I see in clients, and why adjusting expectations (on both sides) is key for healthy, interdependent relationships.Whether you’re dating someone avoidant or navigating

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00:09:14

How Anxious Attachment Can Lead to Selfish Tendencies

LET’S TALK ATTACHMENTS ·

2025/07/09

What if some of your anxious attachment behaviors are actually rooted in…selfishness? Not because you don’t care—but because fear can make everything feel urgent and all about you.In this episode, I share my own hard truths, the rigid expectations I used to set, and how healing started when I finally saw the bigger picture.This one’s for anyone ready to trade “me-focused” survival patterns for truly secure connection. 💛Learn about Attachment Coaching with me HERE.

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00:28:42

How Avoidance Sabotaged My Dating Life and What I Did...

LET’S TALK ATTACHMENTS ·

2025/07/01

Today on the podcast, we’re joined by Lexi Stout—a former coaching client who opens up about her journey of recognizing how her avoidant attachment style was impacting her dating life, and what she’s been doing to break old patterns and move toward healthy relationships.We dive into:How her avoidant attachment kept her stuck in unfulfilling situationshipsLearning to open her heart and receive loveBreaking the habit of hyper-independence and accepting supportConfronting her avoidance and becoming

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00:09:49

What If Your Attachment Style Isn’t What You Thought?

LET’S TALK ATTACHMENTS ·

2025/06/23

Ever taken an attachment quiz and thought, “Yup, I’m anxious”… only to find yourself totally avoidant once real intimacy kicks in? In this episode, I dive into why your feelings might say one thing, but your behaviors—especially under stress—reveal the real story. I’m sharing insights, patterns to look for, and a personal dating example that might sound all too familiar. Let’s untangle the truth together.Learn about attachment coaching with Jessica here.Instagram: @thejessicadasilva

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00:43:49

The Unspoken Pain of Avoidant Attachment

LET’S TALK ATTACHMENTS ·

2025/05/19

In this episode, we explore the hidden struggles behind avoidant attachment through a candid conversation with someone who’s lived it.We discuss:🔹 Why he resisted change in past relationships — believing emotional distance was a strength🔹 How self-protection became self-disconnection🔹 The breakup that made him realize his avoidant patterns were the root cause🔹 Why avoidants do love deeply — and how fear keeps it buried🔹 Reconnecting to his emotional self and finding fulfilling love🔹 Closure

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00:15:22

What Dating Securely Has Taught Me

LET’S TALK ATTACHMENTS ·

2025/05/13

In this personal episode, I take you behind the scenes of a recent dating experience that stirred up both growth and grief — and revealed just how far I’ve come on my attachment healing journey.As someone who used to operate from a fearful avoidant (leaning anxious) attachment style, I now move through dating with much more self-trust, clarity, and compassion. But that doesn’t mean the old patterns don’t still surface — especially when connection, chemistry, and unmet needs collide.I’ll walk you

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00:32:35

Letting Go of Unavailable Love: Meghan’s Journey to...

LET’S TALK ATTACHMENTS ·

2025/05/06

Today on the podcast, we’re joined by the lovely Meghan Gatto.Meghan went through the My Secure Self group coaching program this past summer with the goal of deepening her understanding of anxious attachment — and learning practical tools to break unhealthy relationship patterns.In this episode, we dive into:Breaking the cycle of anxious attachmentAttraction to avoidant partners—and how to stop thatHow your body signals when you’re in the wrong relationshipApproaching dating from a secure

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00:52:28

Healing Anxious Attachment and Learning to Be Okay...

LET’S TALK ATTACHMENTS ·

2025/03/17

Today, I’m excited to introduce Joe Reilly, an incredible human and former coaching client of mine, who has been actively working to break his anxious attachment patterns and step into his secure self. We dive into:The challenges of anxious attachmentHis pattern of dating avoidant partners and where that inclination comes fromHealing through a recent breakupLearning to be okay with being aloneHow he’s been building a secure relationship with himself through this season so that he can be more

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00:50:36

How Your Attachment Style Affects Your Relationship...

LET’S TALK ATTACHMENTS ·

2025/03/12

If you’ve been listening to the podcast for a while, you know I love exploring how attachment styles impact all areas of life—not just relationships with people. Through my own healing work, I’ve noticed that as I became more secure and confident within myself, that same transformation began to reflect in my relationship with everything—including money!That’s why I invited Shamina Taylor, a former attorney turned Wealth Consciousness Mentor and author of the Amazon #1 Best Seller Unlocking The

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00:14:29

Commitment vs. Compatibility: Are You in the Right...

LET’S TALK ATTACHMENTS ·

2025/03/06

In this episode, I explore the difference between commitment and compatibility, sharing my personal experience navigating these challenges in a past relationship. I also discuss how to recognize the distinction, helping you better assess whether you’re in the right relationship.Learn about attachment coaching with me here.

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00:48:18

Saying "No" to Emotional Unavailability and "Yes" to...

LET’S TALK ATTACHMENTS ·

2025/02/20

Today on the podcast, I'm joined by dating coach Sabrina Zohar—best known for her transformative podcast, The Sabrina Zohar Show. She brings a no-nonsense, straightforward approach to relationship advice.In this episode, we discuss: Sabrina’s journey from anxious to secure attachment. The reality of managing anxiety—it doesn’t just disappear. The power of nervous system regulation for those with anxious attachment. How to spot emotional unavailability in dating. Low-effort vs. high-effort

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140 results

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