The Ned & Josh Podcast

20:28

Nickelodeon's Absurdly Strong Cartoon Dog Lineup

The Ned & Josh Podcast ·

2026/09/30

A couple of weeks away from the show somehow produces a Spanish correspondent alter ego, while old fashion trends raise the question of whether terrible people can permanently destroy otherwise normal looks. Jeffrey Dahmer glasses are put on trial, Michael Jordan enters the evidence, and Ned’s Opa contributes a deeply confusing family photograph.Elsewhere, Ned gets a stack of stickers and questionable ideas about where to put them in Spain, James Bond locations enter the itinerary, fictional dogs

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16:50

Car Rotting Is Suddenly Everywhere

The Ned & Josh Podcast ·

2026/09/28

Ned is somewhere in Europe trying not to get pickpocketed and yet has also developed an irrational rivalry with an extremely attractive office gardener. Car rotting might finally have a name. There’s also the childhood toilet accident that required a hospital visit, the argument for bringing back a little shame, annoying wannabe Twitch streamers, and the strange disappearance of celebrity embarrassment around doing commercials.Then there’s gambling advertising, Kevin Hart’s endless endorsement

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22:06

Ned May Have a 'Pickpocket-able' Face

The Ned & Josh Podcast ·

2026/09/23

Ned is heading back to Spain after 16 years, his dad is treating Barcelona pickpockets like an international emergency, the family is wondering whether this is their last big holiday together, and apparently Ned has the face of a very obvious tourist. The missing Tuesday episode gets explained, Raygun’s Netflix documentary puts her back in the spotlight, Jimmy Fallon attempts Vegemite, and school drop-off traffic introduces Josh to a neon green Porsche with some extremely specific styling

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20:15

Why Did Australian Schools Teach Everyone to Make Paper?

The Ned & Josh Podcast ·

2026/09/16

Dropping an episode has done exactly what basic maths suggested it would do to the podcast downloads, so Ned and Josh consider making one perfectly respectable episode people can safely recommend to friends. Josh finally discovers what The Mighty Mighty Bosstones meant by “knock on wood”, his wildly inconsistent intelligence gets examined, a business turns manual labour into adult PE, and Aaron Pierre’s physique in Lanterns provides some fairly compelling workout motivation.There’s charging-port

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19:02

Could an MMA Fighter Actually Beat a Chimpanzee?

The Ned & Josh Podcast ·

2026/09/14

A pre-show joke gets sent straight to the cutting-room floor, then Ned and Josh ask why Americans saying Melbourne correctly can somehow sound worse, whether Brisbane secretly needs a D, how four-year-olds turned “shut up” into top-tier profanity, why “crap” once became the terrifying C-word, and how Andy Griffiths introduced “rack off” to a childhood vocabulary.The NFL’s Melbourne visit brings the 49ers and Rams into the mix, Disney x NFL merch gets judged, and Piper’s 4.2kg arrival leads into the

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22:33

The Ultimate Fake Business Name

The Ned & Josh Podcast ·

2026/09/09

Aldi condoms, bargain snow boots and the eternal Aldi-versus-Costco argument all find their place alongside Ned completely failing to acknowledge Josh’s exciting American listener statistics. “Buoyed” becomes a surprisingly heated vocabulary dispute, Evelyn Montclair arrives via scam text with immaculate fake-business energy, a discussion to create her ideal counterpart follows, and a stock-market phone conversation in a work toilet meets an aggressively biological interruption.Elsewhere, Ned

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21:47

Don't Do THAT in Your Car!

The Ned & Josh Podcast ·

2026/09/07

What does an old-school Aussie pub bloke sound like while discussing mortgage stress over a morning coffee? That sits alongside the case for a married couple's house signature, Josh meeting his new niece Piper, Ned's disastrous receipt joke, a Roomba that becomes evidence of infidelity, the mystery of modern-day Palm Pilots and a Watergate discussion that eventually reaches Edward Snowden.Zambrero guac brings better luck on the joke front, letting someone with two groceries skip the queue becomes a

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21:54

Are Instagram Likes Public?!

The Ned & Josh Podcast ·

2026/09/02

An innocent workplace whistle sends Ned into dangerous musical territory before attention turns to the cracked toilet seat he ignored for months, the astonishing price of premium replacements and the decidedly Frisbee-like model he eventually buys. McDonald’s then introduces its Australian McGold Card, but “McDonald’s for life” apparently means $30 a week for 40 years, which raises some questions about why companies keep using the words “for life” and then getting annoyed when customers interpret

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22:45

Mavis Beacon Was Never Real

The Ned & Josh Podcast ·

2026/08/31

Apparently $100 still buys far more enthusiasm from a nine-year-old than it does from an exhausted adult asked to move boxes. Carrie’s lifting ability comes under scrutiny, Ned admits part of his workday was spent asleep in his car, Lenny takes immediate offence to Josh’s energy, and a near-collision involving a burrito opens the door to some questionable pedestrian etiquette. A tray of pub drinks then inspires a proposed rule for deciding who actually owes whom an apology.Elsewhere, the Empire

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28:00

Do We Really Need This Many Dog Breeds?

The Ned & Josh Podcast ·

2026/08/26

An $80 Ned & Josh shirt may or may not be coming, tomato sauce faces an attempted ban, unnecessary dog breeds are placed on notice and hat ownership could soon be capped at two. Then comes an airport lounge loophole so effective one man apparently ate first-class food 300 times without ever taking the flight, followed by the Washington DC bomb scare that turned out to involve a piece of adult equipment with an alarming amount of machinery.PBR sparks a debate about what beer actually needs to

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26:05

Had a Heart Attack and Still Got a Parking Fine

The Ned & Josh Podcast ·

2026/08/24

The Ned & Josh Podcast enters its new Tuesday and Thursday era before Ned wonders whether paternal instinct magically arrives with parenthood, a seven-year-old gets abandoned halfway up Mount Fuji, and an attempted Von Trapp compliment goes spectacularly badly. There’s also a serious examination of whether fur-lined Crocs can legally leave the house, the continuing hatred of Jamiroquai, and a bank that has spent 18 months trying to return a single cent.Elsewhere, parking inspectors manage to

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11:08

ANNOUNCEMENT TIME

The Ned & Josh Podcast ·

2026/08/23

The Ned & Josh Podcast is moving from three episodes a week to two, Producer Michael discovers he had absolutely no vote, and the Pod Pals are predicted to respond with complaints followed by reluctant support. There's an Eminem snare argument, a last-word rap karaoke app, a hunt for the right beat, the creation of MC Brewza, a disastrous first freestyle, accusations of blaming the tools, another attempt and a final declaration that Ned is ready for 8 Mile. Find us on Instagram @nedandjosh

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26:59

Ned Prepares for a Freestyle Rap Battle

The Ned & Josh Podcast ·

2026/08/20

What begins with Ned being caught texting turns into a discussion about knowing your intellectual limits, why conspiracy theories are appealing and the freedom Josh feels when somebody else is responsible for flying the plane. A viral prediction that gravity would stop working brings NASA, floating cars and an argument over anchored houses into the mix, while Josh’s first stretch alone at the office reveals he is considerably less comfortable when responsibility involves answering somebody else’s

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26:45

Would Your Partner Wait 20 Years for You?

The Ned & Josh Podcast ·

2026/08/18

How much credit should two podcasters receive for making it more than 400 episodes before deliberately recording a fart? From there, Christopher Nolan’s The Odyssey gets linked back to Dunkirk, Penelope’s commitment is tested against modern relationship standards and Josh figures his unhinged names for the family dogs would expose any attempt to return home secretly. A bathroom emergency then leaves him literally sitting in darkness at work.The possibility of flight introduces fleshy bat wings and

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24:35

Why Do Marbles Look So Edible?

The Ned & Josh Podcast ·

2026/08/16

Should a mate visiting from interstate get your actual bed, or should a grown man be grateful there’s a couch available? That somehow leads into golf, drinking, questionable hosting plans and the broader problem of people having conversations so loudly in public that everyone nearby becomes an unwilling listener. A dog’s mysterious hatred of a baseball cap also threatens Josh’s lifelong belief that every animal should instinctively adore him.There’s a cottonmouth snake inside a football helmet, the

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19:48

Subscription Tracker Has Exposed Everything

The Ned & Josh Podcast ·

2026/08/13

Lenny’s elusive perfect scratch spot is finally discovered, a website full of “funny questions for colleagues” turns into an HR nightmare, and the economics of maintaining a secret second family somehow gets compared with streaming services. A child refusing to sit down brings an entire Canadian flight undone, airports cop some heat, and the Bobby subscription tracker reveals the horrifying reality of a $981 monthly subscription bill. Winter thongs spark an investigation into terrible feet,

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18:55

Dobby's Grave Has Been Saved

The Ned & Josh Podcast ·

2026/08/11

Dobby fans have successfully defended a Harry Potter memorial from a major power cable, leaving the question of whether protecting a fictional grave counts as cultural preservation or simply moving infrastructure around some socks. Money-no-object staffing plans follow, with personal hair styling and full-time driving both making strong cases, before the complicated world of weddings enters the conversation.There’s a Wiggle among the wedding guests, the thankless job of being MC, speech length

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23:19

Oreo x KFC Mashup is Evil

The Ned & Josh Podcast ·

2026/08/09

There’s a soon-to-be teenager planning a Spider-Man movie birthday, an Etsy purchase that feels suspiciously like graphic-design cheating and a plan to retaliate by entering the invitation business. Food collaborations are also under scrutiny, especially when KFC meets Oreo, cola-flavoured milk enters the conversation and chicken and waffles reveal a previously unknown fracture in a friendship.Avoiding a muddy puddle sparks an ageing crisis, Leonard delivers another expensive lesson about playing

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18:37

Low-Flying Hot Air Balloons

The Ned & Josh Podcast ·

2026/08/06

The PlayStation that was brought in to entertain a child becomes a major distraction for one of the boys before a full-speed penny farthing creates what can only be described as a glitch in the matrix. That leads to an argument about recreational activities containing too much whimsy, from kite surfing to mysteriously low hot air balloons. Elsewhere, an Australian beagle eats an industrial quantity of jelly snakes, Golden Retrievers steal dangerously hot food, and a dead MacBook unexpectedly gives

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15:29

Is Barack Obama’s Summer Playlist Even Real?

The Ned & Josh Podcast ·

2026/08/04

The Ned and Josh School of Etiquette returns to investigate the strange logic behind “P’s and Q’s,” dangerous ways to pronounce thank you, and whether anyone has ever benefited from Auntie Cheryl’s manners lesson. Then Barack Obama’s annual music recommendations raise an important question: is he genuinely listening to Charli XCX, or is somebody curating coolness on his behalf?Elsewhere, a suspiciously long workplace break sparks a dispute over coworkers keeping score, Cosmos gets a surprise

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