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THE QUACK

The Quack is a comedy personal blog featuring real-life facepalm moments & muddled observations told by British women"s fiction author Mary Newnham. Visit TheQuack.blog Follow Mary on @marynewnhamwrites.

society & culture personal journals

All Episodes

10:23

THE STORY OF WRITING A NOVEL PART 5: THE FINISH LINE.

THE QUACK ·

2026/01/29

“Can you sign this one for my personal trainer? Say thank you for looking after my dad.”To wrap up 'The Story of Writing A Novel' series, I officially launch my debut novel into the world. To celebrate, I overordered merchandise and threw a book launch at INK&84 in North London. Skip introduction: 2:25 Order| Amy Elman Doesn't Feel Sexy at Ink Visit | TheQuack.Blog Follow | @MaryNewnhamWrites Sound | Soundstripe.com

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34:03

HOW TO AUTHOR: LAURA MARSHALL

THE QUACK ·

2026/01/19

On the last episode of How to Author, I talk to Sunday Times Bestseller Laura Marshall. (Friend Request, My Husband's Killer, Kiss Marry Kill). We talk about her success as a thriller author, building a life around full-time writing, and question how important social media is for an author. A fantastic chat full of solid advice for any writer out there.Laura's latest book, 'Kiss Marry Kill', is OUT NOW! My debut, 'Amy Elman Doesn't Feel Sexy', is out THIS

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10:48

HOW *NOT* TO SET GOALS IN 2026

THE QUACK ·

2026/01/14

"Drink water, compliment one stranger a day, travel to somewhere hot, travel to somewhere cultural, save the environment, and wear a red Slipknot mask..." Happy 2026! This week's Quack is about goal culture. Is it me, or are we trying to achieve too much? Even the arts have goals now. Preorder Amy Elman Doesn't Feel Sexy. Read | TheQuack.blog Follow | @marynewnhamwrites Sound | Soundstripe.com

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30:08

HOW TO AUTHOR: GEORGIA STONE

THE QUACK ·

2026/01/12

On today's episode of the mini series, How to Author, I talk to romance novelist, Georgia Stone. (Friendship Fling, The Roommate Rule).We talk about Georgia's journey from Bookstagrammer to self-publishing her first novel, to signing a book deal with Hodder. We discuss writing routines, building author communities, and using social media effectively. It's a bubbly conversation filled with tips and tricks to help any new author. Preorder Georgia's next novel - 'The Roommate Rule' (May 21st

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35:18

HOW TO AUTHOR: FIONA GIBSON

THE QUACK ·

2026/01/05

In the first episode of the mini-series 'How to Author', I talk to best-selling novelist Fiona Gibson. ('The Woman Who Ran Away From Everything', 'The Full Nest', 'When Life Gives You Lemons'). We discuss Fiona's author journey, balancing family life, handling negative reviews, and her writing ticks. It's a lively conversation (lots of giggling) with solid advice for any writer. Books You can preorder Fiona's latest book (February 20th) - 'The Woman Who Turned Her Life Around' NOW! You can also

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9:37

THE WEEK MY BOOK CAME OUT IN GERMANY

THE QUACK ·

2025/12/17

“'This isn’t happiness' is about a woman’s inner turmoil when the intimacy vanishes from a relationship…” *Puffs cigarette*On this week's episode, I try my best to be cool as I launch my book, 'This isn't happiness', in Germany. Visit: TheQuack.Blog Buy: This isn't happiness (German translation) Preorder: Amy Elman Doesn't Feel Sexy (UK version) Follow: @MaryNewnhamWrites

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0:55

HOW TO AUTHOR: JANUARY 2026

THE QUACK ·

2025/12/15

In the lead-up to the launch of my debut novel, Amy Elman Doesn't Feel Sexy, I am asking three established authors for advice about the author life. Join me here on The Quack for the first episode of HOW TO AUTHOR—coming Monday, January 5th. Follow: @marynewnhamwrites Visit: TheQuack.Blog

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11:38

THE STORY OF WRITING A NOVEL PART 4: THE BOOK THAT...

THE QUACK ·

2025/11/26

"I, an adult, had made some characters in my head, and now I’m in a boardroom, having a professional discussion with another adult about them..."It's Part 4 of the Story of Writing a Novel, and some remarkable things are starting to happen. Includes a failed therapy session and the creation of a Liverpudlian stripper. (Note: there is some swearing in this episode. Also note, some dialogue has been exaggerated for creative purposes.) Visit | TheQuack.blog Follow| @marynewnhamwrites Preorder

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13:51

CAN YOU SURVIVE THE ROMANTIC GETAWAY?

THE QUACK ·

2025/11/12

"We paused in front of the bed, where there was a display of red and white balloons." 🇫🇷🎈I had my first romantic getaway in Paris. I was so concerned about discovering unflattering details about my new boyfriend that I had completely forgotten just how tricky I could be to travel with. Visit | TheQuack.Blog Follow | MaryNewnhamWrites Sound | Soundstripe.com Preorder | Amy Elman Doesn't Feel Sexy

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12:53

THE STORY OF WRITING A NOVEL PART 3: THE CRINGE ERA.

THE QUACK ·

2025/10/29

I couldn't risk wasting time on real men when I had fictional men to worry about.This week, we continue the story writing the book. This is the part where I try to get an agent and fail at dating — also known as 'The Cringe Era'. Listen to Parts 1 and 2 before this episode. Visit | TheQuack.Blog Follow | @MaryNewnhamWrites Skip Introduction | 3:15 Sound | Soundstripe.com Preorder Amy Elman Doesn't Feel Sexy on Amazon

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9:19

MIND THE GAP: MOVING BACK TO LONDON.

THE QUACK ·

2025/10/15

"I should have kids with names and a strong opinion on Peppa Pig, but somehow, at 34, I have found myself back in London..."This week is about my move back to London as a 34-year-old. After leaving with a bad taste in my mouth at 26 (which inspired me to write a terrible poetry book), I never thought I'd come back to live in The Big Smoke, but here I am... maybe it's where I was supposed to be all along. Visit | TheQuack.Blog Preorder | Amy Elman Doesn't Feel Sexy Follow |

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9:19

THE STORY OF WRITING A NOVEL PART 2: LEARNING TO WRITE.

THE QUACK ·

2025/10/01

"Oh, Mary, Mary, Mary, how do you expect to be a published author if you can't even score a high grade on a short story?"This week on The Quack, we continue the series 'The Story of Writing a Novel.' I head back to university to do a Master's in creative writing. There is a drama involving my Metamorphosis book and a sharp learning curve about verbs. Preorder Amy Elman Doesn't Feel Sexy. Visit | TheQuack.blog Follow | @MaryNewnhamWrites Sound | Soundstripe.com Link to Guardian article

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11:17

THINGS WE WOULD LIKE TO DO NOW WE'RE NOT SINGLE.

THE QUACK ·

2025/09/17

'That’s right, I thought in my haze, I have a boyfriend now.'On this week's Quack, I celebrated my 34th birthday by taking my new boyfriend to his very first spa. Unfortunately, it was not the relaxing experience I had promised... Follow | @MaryNewnhamWrites Visit | TheQuack.blog Music | Soundstripe.com CLICK HERE TO PRE-ORDER AMY ELMAN DOESN'T FEEL SEXY

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00:26

THE QUACK WILL BE BACK 17th SEPTEMBER

THE QUACK ·

2025/08/27

This month has been a bit chaotic, so I will be returning on September 17th with more facepalm stories. Thank you guys! x

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09:23

SPERM-EXTERMINATORS & OTHER CONTRACEPTIVES

THE QUACK ·

2025/08/13

It seemed barbaric, and yet, she was so casual about it, as if she were demonstrating how to season a chicken.With the help of Reddit reviews, I'm choosing my next birth control method. This episode also includes some seriously great ideas for male contraceptives. If you want to know more about birth control, click here. Skip Introduction| 2:04 Sound | soundstripe.com Follow | @MaryNewnhamWrites Visit | TheQuack.Blog Pre-order my debut fiction book, AMY ELMAN DOESN'T FEEL SEXY, on

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10:38

THE STORY OF WRITING A NOVEL PART 1: THE BOOK THAT DIED.

THE QUACK ·

2025/07/30

"It would be called Can of Worms. Sunday Times Bestseller list, here I come."In this first episode of the series, I am going back to the very beginning when I attempted my first novel. Skip Introduction | 2:21 Visit | TheQuack.Blog Sound | Soundstripe.com Preorder Amy Elman Doesn't Feel Sexy on Amazon and other popular book stores.

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08:52

BILLBOARD DAD

THE QUACK ·

2025/07/16

I made the mistake of asking Dad, “But do billboards actually work?” I may as well have asked if Tottenham Hotspur was a synchronised swimming team.This week is about growing up in an 80s advertising family and working out what my dad did for work. Skip Intro | 2:11 Visit | TheQuack.Blog Follow | @MaryNewnhamWrites Sound| Soundstripe.com

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09:17

THE CATHOLIC SCHOOL PROM

THE QUACK ·

2025/07/02

"The turnout was 50 girls and 10 terrified boys..."This week is a flashback to my 2010 school prom...which wasn't anything like the ones in the movies. Skip Introduction | 2:27 Follow me | @MaryNewnhamWrites Visit | TheQuack.Blog Sound | Soundstripe.com

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09:46

FINDING MY TRUE COLOURS AT THE RUGBY.

THE QUACK ·

2025/06/18

"I then remembered it wasn't football, so these grown-ups could be trusted not to punch each other in the face..." I went to the rugby final on Saturday, which made me reflect on my football upbringing. Skip Introduction | 2:05 Sound | Soundstripe.com Follow | @marynewnhamwrites Visit | TheQuack.blog

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09:00

THE GREAT BRITISH BIRTHDAY

THE QUACK ·

2025/06/04

“STOP! I LEFT THE CHEESE!” We twisted around and punted back to the boathouse to collect the cheese. 🧀It's Hermione's birthday, and this year we all went punting in Oxford. I made the mistake of getting in the wrong boat.... Skip Introduction | 1:38 Follow | @MaryNewnhamWrite Read | TheQuack.Blog Sound | Soundstripe.com

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