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PODCAST

Climbing Fish Parenting

Dr. Kristi Clarke

Your kid isn"t broken. Your parenting isn"t broken. Sometimes, we"re just asking our fish to climb trees. If you"re an exhausted parent who"s tried everything and nothing has worked—this podcast is for you. You"re carrying guilt about your parenting. Your child"s behaviors don"t respond to the typical strategies. The advice from books, friends, and even professionals just... doesn"t fit. Here"s what I need you to know: You"re not failing. You"re just using the wrong map. I"m Dr. Kristi, a

kids & family parenting

All Episodes

12:06

Why Your Child's Meltdowns Don't Mean They Hate You

Climbing Fish Parenting ·

2026/03/23

Why Your Child's Meltdowns Don't Mean They Hate You It's Tuesday night. Homework time. You say, gently, "Just three more problems." Their jaw clenches. Their shoulders rise. The pencil flies across the room, the paper rips, the chair crashes into the wall. And they scream right in your face: I HATE YOU! YOU'RE THE WORST MOM EVER! Then they run to their room and slam the door. And you're standing there—heart pounding, hands shaking, face hot—with that quiet, terrible voice whispering: What if they

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18:38

Listener Q&A: Your Questions Answered

Climbing Fish Parenting ·

2026/03/16

Listener Q&A: Your Questions Answered You send me questions all the time—through emails, DMs, after workshops—and today I'm answering four of the ones I hear most often. Real questions from real parents who are in the trenches, dealing with the things that don't make it into the parenting books. Because sometimes you don't need a full deep dive—you need a quick, honest answer from someone who actually understands how your child's brain works. In this episode, I'm answering: "My kid is so slow—it

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12:48

When Your Tween Pushes You Away But Still Needs You

Climbing Fish Parenting ·

2026/03/09

Your 12-year-old walks in from school. You say, "Hey, how was your day?" They don't look up. "Fine." You try again—a sigh, an eye roll, "Can you not?" And they walk past you, go to their room, and shut the door. Your stomach drops. Three hours later, they're melting down over homework and need you nearby. And you're standing there thinking: You just told me to leave you alone. Why do you need me now? Welcome to the push-pull of the tween years—where your child is simultaneously trying to separate

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18:56

The Resentment You Don't Want to Admit

Climbing Fish Parenting ·

2026/03/02

It's 8:47 PM. You've been awake since 5:30. The morning started with a 45-minute battle over wrong socks. Homework took two hours. Bedtime is still not done. And somewhere in that exhausted, tight-chested moment, you feel it—that burning thought: This is not fair. Immediately followed by gut-punch guilt: What kind of parent resents their own child? Here's what I need you to know: resentment doesn't mean what you think it means. It doesn't mean you're failing. It doesn't mean you don't love your

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13:19

When Your Child Refuses Medication: What's Really...

Climbing Fish Parenting ·

2026/02/23

My child needs medication—for ADHD, for anxiety, for whatever—but they won't take it. I've tried hiding it in food. I've tried rewards. I've tried consequences. We battle every single morning and I don't know what to do. Sound familiar? Underneath that battle is so much guilt—guilt that you can't get your child to do something that's supposed to help them, guilt that you're fighting over healthcare, guilt that maybe if you were a better parent, this wouldn't be so hard. Let me say this clearly:

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18:29

Morning Routines for Tweens and Teens: When They...

Climbing Fish Parenting ·

2026/02/16

Your child is thirteen, fourteen, fifteen years old. Old enough to have a phone. Old enough to want independence. Old enough that well-meaning relatives keep asking, "Why can't they just get themselves ready?" And you're watching your teenager—who can recite entire dialogue sequences from their favorite shows, who navigates complex video game strategies—completely unable to get out the door without you directing every single step. Here's what I need you to know: your teenager absolutely can need

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13:51

The One Morning Routine Mistake That's Sabotaging...

Climbing Fish Parenting ·

2026/02/09

You've tried teaching the skills. You've tried building routines. And it still falls apart every single morning. Here's what you're missing: you're trying to do too much at once. When I ask parents to walk me through their morning routine, they list fifteen tasks. Then I ask which of those fifteen things their child can do independently right now, and the answer is usually one. Maybe two. Sometimes zero. That's the problem—you're not trying to teach a morning routine. You're trying to teach fifteen

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15:45

Why Traditional Morning Routine Charts Fail Kids...

Climbing Fish Parenting ·

2026/02/04

If you've created a beautiful visual schedule—laminated cards, Velcro, pictures for every step—and your child is still melting down every morning, wandering off mid-routine, or standing in their underwear twenty minutes after being told to get dressed, I need you to hear this: That chart isn't failing because you did something wrong. It's failing because visual schedules are step three of a process, and everyone told you they were step one. In this episode, you'll discover: Why visual schedules

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17:13

Building a Support System When You Feel Totally Alone

Climbing Fish Parenting ·

2026/01/26

If you're parenting a child who's wired differently and you feel completely alone in it, that's not random and it's not your fault. Maybe family doesn't understand why you do things differently. Maybe friends stopped inviting you places. Maybe you can't find a babysitter who can handle your child's needs, so you haven't had a break in months—or years. Here's the truth: you're not supposed to do this alone, but the support you need looks different than what most people offer. In this episode, you'll

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16:30

Your Nervous System Matters Too: Co-Regulation Starts...

Climbing Fish Parenting ·

2026/01/19

"Just stay calm." "Be the calm in the storm." Easy to say, impossible to do when you're already depleted from co-regulating through three transitions before breakfast, making seventy decisions, and absorbing your child's anxiety all morning. Here's the truth: you can't lend your child a calm nervous system if yours is running on empty. And trying harder to "stay calm" when you're already dysregulated? That's not a reasonable expectation—it's not even biologically possible. In this episode, you'll

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19:08

The Myth of "Doing It All": What Sustainable...

Climbing Fish Parenting ·

2026/01/12

If you're trying to "do it all"—homemade meals, organized systems, consistent routines, patience, self-care—while parenting a child who's wired differently, I need you to hear this: You're not failing because you're not trying hard enough. You're failing because the goal itself is impossible. That vision of "good parenting" wasn't designed for families managing constant co-regulation, sensory needs, and nervous systems that can't handle typical demands. In this episode, you'll discover: Why you're

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18:43

Why Parenting a Child Who's Wired Differently Is So...

Climbing Fish Parenting ·

2026/01/05

If you're completely drained from parenting your child who's wired differently—and wondering if you're just not cut out for this—I need you to hear this: It's not because you're weak or doing it wrong. There are very specific, research-backed reasons why this type of parenting is exponentially more exhausting than typical parenting. And once you understand what's actually happening, you can stop blaming yourself and start protecting your energy. In this episode, you'll discover: Why you're

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15:36

The Power of Validation: Why Your Kid Desperately...

Climbing Fish Parenting ·

2025/12/29

"Great, another therapy word that sounds nice but doesn't actually help when my kid is having a full meltdown in Target." I get it. But here's the thing: validation is one of the most powerful tools you have for reducing meltdowns, building confidence, and teaching your child to trust themselves. And it's way simpler than you think. In this episode, you'll discover: - What validation actually is (hint: it's not agreeing or giving permission) - Why kids who grow up without validation become adults

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25:58

Grief and the Holidays: How to Help Your Child (And...

Climbing Fish Parenting ·

2025/12/21

Your child just asked when Grandma's coming back—for the fifth time this week. Or they're melting down over nothing. Or they seem completely fine while you're barely holding it together. And you're thinking: Am I doing this wrong? Should I hide my tears? Will talking about it make it worse? Here's the truth: Grief during the holidays is complicated—for you AND your kids. And most of us are trying to protect our children from pain in ways that actually make it harder for them to heal. In this

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18:24

Why Behavior Gets Worse Before It Gets Better (And...

Climbing Fish Parenting ·

2025/12/15

You finally implemented a behavior plan. Day one went great. Day two was even better. And then day three hit—and your child didn't just whine, they SCREAMED. They escalated harder than ever before. And you're standing there thinking: "What did I do wrong? This was working!" Here's the truth: You didn't do anything wrong. What you're seeing is proof that your strategy is working. In this episode, you'll discover: - What an extinction burst is (and why it means your plan is actually working) - The

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18:10

Backtalk & Defiance: What Your Child Really Means...

Climbing Fish Parenting ·

2025/12/08

Your child just said "That's not fair!" or "You can't make me!" and you're standing there thinking: Is this disrespect? Should I shut this down? Or am I about to crush my child's voice? Here's the truth: Most of us don't know. We're navigating a massive cultural shift in parenting without a roadmap—trying to teach our kids something we were never taught ourselves. In this episode, you'll discover: - The question that changes everything: "Is this an attack, or is there a need underneath the bad

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14:49

What's Normal Pushback vs. Actual Disrespect (By Age)

Climbing Fish Parenting ·

2025/12/01

Your child just rolled their eyes at you. Or said "no" for the tenth time today. Or told you your rule is "so unfair." And you're standing there wondering: Is this normal? Or am I raising a disrespectful kid? Here's what you need to know: Most pushback isn't disrespect—it's normal development. But some behavior does cross the line, and you need to know the difference. In this episode, you'll discover: - What's developmentally normal at ages 3-5, 6-9, 10-13, and 14+ (and what actually crosses into

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17:30

Why Your Boundaries Matter More Than You Think (And...

Climbing Fish Parenting ·

2025/11/24

If you struggle to set boundaries with your child—if you say yes when you want to say no, if you give in to avoid conflict, if you feel guilty every time you hold a limit—this episode is for you. Here's the truth: The boundaries you set (or don't set) are directly teaching your child what boundaries are, how they work, and whether they matter. And that lesson will shape their entire life. In this episode, you'll discover: - What a boundary actually is (hint: it's not a rule you impose on someone

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21:00

How to Handle Thanksgiving Without the Food Fights,...

Climbing Fish Parenting ·

2025/11/20

Thanksgiving is coming. And you're not worried about the turkey—you're worried about what happens at the table. Your child only eats three foods, none of which are on the menu. Grandma's already making comments. And you're wondering: do we skip it altogether, or bring safe foods and deal with the judgment? Here's what you need to know: The food battles at Thanksgiving aren't about pickiness or defiance. They're about nervous systems, sensory processing, and a fundamental misunderstanding of whose

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16:45

Whining Decoded: How to Stop It Without Losing Your Mind

Climbing Fish Parenting ·

2025/11/17

That sound. You know the one. That grating, nails-on-a-chalkboard whine that makes your entire nervous system want to crawl out of your skin. "Moooooom, I want a snaaaack." "This is toooooo haaaaard." Here's what you need to know: Whining doesn't just annoy you—it activates your nervous system in a way that very few other sounds do. And your child has learned that this sound gets results. In this episode, you'll discover: - Why whining triggers such an intense reaction (hint: it's evolutionary) -

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27 results

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