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The Adoption Files

The Adoption files seeks to provide a place for adoptees and allies to discuss the laws preventing adoptees from accessing their identities, and the emotional and physical challenges adoptees face in the process of dealing with the obstacles we face. We recognize the need to expose the problematic aspects of the adoption industry and the narrative they perpetuate. We will not only talk about the laws and the challenges they create, but also the ways that the mythology around adoption impacts the way

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All Episodes

01:09:28

Adoption Abolition: A Conversation

The Adoption Files ·

2026/10/01

What does Adoption Abolition mean? Please join me and my guest Lorah Gerald as we talk about some of our thoughts on this topic.Lorah is a Baby Scoop Era, Domestic US adopted person. She can be found athttps://lorahgerald.com/There are some statistics quoted in the episode that may be difficult to believe, and hard to find. This is because they change from year to year, and the way you input your query changes the results you will receive. I am going to just list some of the sources for information

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01:06:27

Quality Counts: Early Connections and Big Questions;...

The Adoption Files ·

2026/09/28

Please join Dani and I as we continue our conversation about adoption and spiritual trauma. We are using the book Holy Hurt: Spiritual Trauma and the Process of Healing by Hillary L McBride PhD as a scaffold for our conversation. Dani is a mother of loss to adoption, a writer, a homesteader and an advocate for the rights of mothers and adopted people. She can be found at: https://medium.com/@danijoyhttps://substack.com/@danijoyhttps://www.facebook.com/joyfuldjHoly Hurt

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00:55:52

Holding Space: Healing in Relationship

The Adoption Files ·

2026/09/21

Please join Dani Joy and I as we keep working on exploring the spiritual trauma that is adoption! We are using the book Holy Hurt by Hillary L McBride, PhD as a scaffold for our conversationDani Joy is a mother of loss to adoption, a homesteader, a writer and an ally. She can be found at: https://medium.com/@danijoyhttps://substack.com/@danijoy https://www.facebook.com/joyfuldj https://www.hillarylmcbride.com/holy-hurthttps://health.clevelandclinic.org/grounding-techniques

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01:03:09

Turning Towards the Pain: a Continuing Conversation...

The Adoption Files ·

2026/09/14

Please join us as we continue our conversation about spiritual trauma and adoption from our perspectives as an adoptee and as a mother who terminated her parental rights for the purposes of adoption. We are using the book Holy Hurt: Understanding Spiritual Trauma and the Process of Healing as a scaffold. You can find Dani Joy at: https://www.facebook.com/joyfuldjhttps://substack.com/@danijoy/note/p-191085730https://medium.com/@danijoyhttps://www.hillarylmcbride.com/holy-hurtMentioned in the

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00:56:06

Healing, Recovery, Remaking: Which makes sense for you?

The Adoption Files ·

2026/09/07

Please join me and my guest Dani Joy as we continue our conversation on spiritual trauma and adoption, from the perspectives of an adopted person and a mother of loss to adoption. We are using the book Holy Hurt by Hillary L McBride PhD as a guide for our discussion. https://medium.com/@danijoyhttps://www.hillarylmcbride.com/holy-hurthttps://youtu.be/3e0-SsmOUJI?si=LfXUJu2f59sjqdThhttps://www.healthcentral.com/mental-health/get-help-mental-healthThe opinions of the host and their guest are just

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00:48:18

Gods will or?

The Adoption Files ·

2026/08/31

Please join Dani Joy and me, Ande, as we continue to discuss spiritual trauma and adoption, with the book Holy Hurt by Hilary McBride PhD as a scaffold. The foundation has been established, and now we are beginning the section of the book that discusses actively processing our trauma. We are working through this in real time, unscripted. Let us know if any of this feels familiar! Dani is a mother of loss to adoption, a homesteader and a writer. She loves to hear from people. She can be found at:

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00:48:48

I am terrible at titles. Continuing the conversation...

The Adoption Files ·

2026/08/24

Yes, I am terrible at titles, and hate to mislead. Just laying that out there. Dani Joy, mother of loss to adoption and me, late discovery adopted person (as well as an intercountry adoptee from foster care in the UK to the US) continue to talk about deconstructing from the adoption narrative and from religious and spiritual trauma. What do they have to do with each other? Family loss is a profound spiritual trauma, and the belief systems we grew up in promote and glorify family loss via adoption

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00:49:09

Feel the Feelings: continuing our conversation on...

The Adoption Files ·

2026/08/18

Hi! Please join me and my guest host Dani Joy as we continue with the next section of our conversation on spiritual trauma from our perspectives as a mother of loss to adoption and as a late discovery adopted person, raised in white, Christian contexts. Dani Joy is a mom and a homesteader. She can be found at:https://medium.com/@danijoyhttps://www.hillarylmcbride.com/holy-hurtMentioned in the episode:

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00:56:29

How to use Spirituality as a Defense against...

The Adoption Files ·

2026/07/26

Please join us as we continue our conversation around spiritual trauma and adoption as we work our way through the book Holy Hurt: Understanding Spiritual Trauma and the Process of Healing by Hillary L McBride PhD . Todays' episode explores the concept of spiritual bypassing as a coping mechanism to avoid feeling our core emotions. Joining me again today is Dani Joy, mom, homesteader, exvangelical. Dani can be found at:

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00:59:03

Your Feelings Matter: the Core Emotions and Spiritual...

The Adoption Files ·

2026/07/22

Please join Dani Joy and I as we delve into the core emotions and how we are born with these crucial forms of communication. We continue to explore how adoption and spiritual trauma intersect, using the book Holly Hurt as a framework for our discussion. Dani Joy can be found at: https://medium.com/@danijoyhttps://hillarylmcbride.com/holy-hurt-book/Mentioned in the episode:

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00:50:04

Victim, Villain, Valiant Hero: The Drama Triangle and...

The Adoption Files ·

2026/07/12

Please join Dani Joy and I as we continue our conversation about spiritual trauma and adoption. We are using the book Holy Hurt: Understanding Spiritual Trauma and the Process of Healing by Hillary L McBride, PhD as a scaffold for our conversation. We just started Chapter 5! How do the roles of victim, villain and rescuer play out in your life? What do they have to do with spiritual trauma? With adoption? Let us know what you think after you join us for the episode. Dani Joy can be found at:

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01:05:39

Let's: See What Develops: The Essentials. Continuing...

The Adoption Files ·

2026/07/08

Please join Dani Joy and me as we continue to discuss spiritual trauma and adoption. I am a Late Discovery, Intercountry adopted person. Dani is a mother of loss to adoption. Dani can be found at https://medium.com/@danijoyhttps://hillarylmcbride.com/holy-hurt-book/https://health.clevelandclinic.org/generational-traumahttps://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC12220155/https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6378493/https://www.healthcentral.com/mental-health/get-help-mental-healthThe opinions of the

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00:38:02

Returning to the Familiar: When we keep going back to...

The Adoption Files ·

2026/06/30

Please join Dani Joy and I as we continue to explore spiritual trauma using the book Holy Hurt by Hillary L McBride Phd as a scaffold for our discussion. How might these spiritual wounds relate to Dani's experience as a mother of loss to adoption? How has my being an adopted person been shaped by spiritual trauma? In this installment we talk about the return to the familiar, even when the familiar hurts. Dani Joy is a mother of loss to adoption, a homesteader and blogger. She can be found at:

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00:53:13

What we need from the beginning: Continuing the...

The Adoption Files ·

2026/06/26

Please join Dani Joy and I as we discuss the section What we need from the beginning, from the book Holy Hurt by Hilary L McBride, PhD.Dani is a mother of loss to adoption, as well as a homesteader, advocate and writer. Dani can be found at: https://medium.com/@danijoyhttps://hillarylmcbride.com/holy-hurt-book/https://www.healthcentral.com/mental-health/get-help-mental-healthThe opinions of the host and their guest are just that, their opinions. The host is not a lawyer, a therapist or an adoption

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00:07:58

Alert: California SB 381. California adopted people...

The Adoption Files ·

2026/06/22

California Alliance For Adoptee Rights and Senator Wahab have a bill being heard in the Health Committee this Tuesday, 23 June 2026. They need you to call the members of the Health Committee to ask that they vote yes on the bill as it is written, without amendments. Please follow the link to find a script and the phone numbers of the members of the Health Committee. https://www.facebook.com/CAadopteerights/posts/pfbid034DfNoKF8Kd3KM7c5jHPbu7XEAKBGkhFMbmLAH2GTVTzBQLcbjkZsFadKhyvMaBgSlIf for some

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00:39:52

The Culture we Swim in, Pt 2. Spiritual Trauma is NOT...

The Adoption Files ·

2026/06/10

Please join me and Dani Joy as we continue our conversation about the intersection of spiritual trauma and adoption. We are talking trauma, just nonstop, processing! It's so fun. Come have fun with us! We are using the book Holy Hurt; Understanding Spiritual Trauma and the Process of Healing as a scaffold for our conversations. Dani can be found at: https://medium.com/@danijoyI can be found here, pretty much.

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00:55:30

The Culture we swim in: continuing the conversation...

The Adoption Files ·

2026/06/07

Please join me and Dani Joy as we continue to address spiritual trauma from our lived experience as a mother of loss to adoption and as a late discovery adopted person. Dani can be found at: https://medium.com/@danijoyhttps://hillarylmcbride.com/holy-hurt-book/https://www.healthcentral.com/mental-health/get-help-mental-healthThe opinions of the host and their guest are just that- their opinionsThe host is not a lawyer, therapist, or an adoption professional. Thank you for listening!

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00:54:34

The Adoption Paradox: a Conversation with Author Jean...

The Adoption Files ·

2026/06/02

Please join me for my conversation with Jean Kelly Widner, a domestically adopted person who is the author of The Adoption Paradox: Putting Adoption in Perspective. Jean is a Baby Scoop Era adopted person from Washington who has found herself as an Accidental Tourist in the paradox that is living adopted. https://adoptionparadox.com/Mentioned in the

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01:06:13

Fundamentally Bad: a Survivor's Universal Experience...

The Adoption Files ·

2026/05/26

Please join Dani Joy and I as we continue our conversation about spiritual trauma using the book Holy Hurt by Hilary L McBride PhD as a guide as we explore how this has impacted us as a mother of loss to adoption and as an adopted person. Both Dani and I come from a Christian religious tradition, and we speak to our own lived experience as people deconstructing from religion and from the adoption narrative.Dani can be found at:

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01:04:49

This Feels Familiar: How leaving the system that...

The Adoption Files ·

2026/05/20

Please join me and mom Dani Joy as we wrap up chapter 3 in our discussion of spiritual trauma using the book Holy Hurt by Hilary L McBride PhD as a guide. In this episode we talk about how leaving can end up being more of the same, and why that happens. We also talk about characteristics of marginalized groups that intersect with our experiences with adoption. Dani can be found at:

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