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PODCAST

Say The Things

Are you giving all of your energy to those around you, leaving you feeling empty, disconnected, and resentful, craving connection beyond the four walls of your home? Do you hide behind surface level conversations because you fear being rejected. If you were to share your actual thoughts? Do you crave more joy and laughter in your life and wish to feel normal and your uniqueness, and perhaps even accept and embrace it? Intentionally discover who you are to clearly communicate to deepen

society & culture relationships

All Episodes

11:41

192: What to Ask Before, During, and After the Fight

Say The Things ·

2025/11/06

Last Tuesday, my daughter came home frustrated and every instinct told me to fix it, control it, be right about it—but I paused and asked her what she thought her options were instead. This week, I'm sharing the specific questions that rewire how conflict happens: what to ask yourself before walking into hard conversations, how to stay present during them, and the reflection work that creates lasting change. Plus, I'm tackling the truth that 80% of conflict has no resolution—and why that's actually

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14:24

191: Willpower Won't Regulate Your Nervous System

Say The Things ·

2025/10/30

Turns out, you can't think your way out of a fight-or-flight response—and that's why willpower alone never fixes how we show up in conflict. I'm walking you through what happens in your body during an argument, why my shift from fight to freeze confused my daughter's nervous system, and the practical tools that actually work to regulate yourself before, during, and after conflict. This is where we learn that our bodies aren't broken—they're just protecting us with outdated information.

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08:47

190: The Weapons We Carry in Conflict

Say The Things ·

2025/10/23

I used to be lightning-fast with my words—shutting down arguments before anyone could respond, winning every fight while losing connection. This week, we're getting honest about what we bring to conflict that makes it worse: unprocessed anger, the need to be right, defensiveness, or the ways we disguise control as care. If you're ready to stop having the same fight on different days, this episode is your starting point—because you cannot change what you do not see. Ryan Dunlap: Conflict/ish "Your

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11:43

189: What If the Noise Holds the News?

Say The Things ·

2025/10/16

Most of us are grinding through life, dismissing the whispers of our body and our relationships because we don't have time to pause. But what if the noise we're taught to manage is actually news—information our lives are desperately trying to send us? I'm breaking down five concrete practices (that won't add to your plate) to help you shift from managing to listening, including nervous system regulation, creating safe space for vulnerability, and moving through stored stress in your body.

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11:48

188: Introducing Your Circle of Control

Say The Things ·

2025/10/09

A few weeks ago, I did an exercise that completely changed how I see control—and honestly, it pissed me off before it set me free. I drew a circle and listed what I actually control inside it and what I don't outside it, and the truth was brutal: I've been spending most of my energy trying to manage things that were never mine to hold. Today I'm walking you through this exercise and the new soundtracks that are helping me release my grip on other people, outcomes, the past, and the future—so I can

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08:26

187: Stop Competing, Start Connecting: Lessons from...

Say The Things ·

2025/10/02

Research shows that trees don't compete for sunlight – they share resources through an underground network, warning each other of dangers and supporting the whole forest's health. I'm exploring how we can shift from competition to collaboration in our relationships, especially when social media makes comparison so tempting. Your community network is probably more abundant than you realize, and it's time to tend to it with the same energy you give everything else in your life.

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07:29

186 The Truth About Truth: Stop Being Manipulated by...

Say The Things ·

2025/09/25

In a world where we're constantly fed opinions disguised as facts, I'm sharing the three simple questions that transformed how I process information. We'll explore why being "nice" sometimes means having uncomfortable conversations about truth, and how to navigate conflicting information without losing your sanity. I challenge you to apply these questions to something you encounter this week – because the truth doesn't change according to our ability to stomach it.

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12:07

185: The Energy You Bring

Say The Things ·

2025/09/11

I took an extended summer break and found myself not in the right headspace to return, which got me thinking about the energy we bring into the world. With all the negativity and chaos happening around us—from political unrest to violence—I want to ask: what energy are you contributing? I believe we are literally energetic beings operating at measurable frequencies, and there's science behind how our physical and emotional states affect not just us, but everyone around us. This week, I'm challenging

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06:02

184: Self-Advocacy Hypocrisy: I Tell My Kids To Speak...

Say The Things ·

2025/07/17

I'm exploring the connection between self-advocacy and self-silencing as I head into a break because I'm experiencing burnout myself, which feels perfectly timed for this topic. I challenge you to think about how we constantly tell our kids to advocate for themselves while we struggle to do the same, often because we've been conditioned to believe that self-advocacy is selfish when we're supposed to be sensitive to others' needs. I want you to examine where you've been self-silencing - avoiding

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07:49

183: Negotiate like a Woman?

Say The Things ·

2025/07/10

I explore why women negotiate as often as men but succeed only half as often, and how we've been taught to negotiate like men when we should be leveraging our natural relationship-building strengths instead. I share a four-step framework specifically designed for women: reviewing past performance, understanding future vision, making the ask, and ending with collaborative questions that invite others into the solution. I challenge you to recognize that you're already negotiating every day - from

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09:45

182: Naming What You Feel

Say The Things ·

2025/07/03

In today's episode, I explored how women can move beyond stereotypical emotional expression by developing emotional intelligence and expanding our emotional vocabulary beyond the mere 20 words most Americans use out of 3,000 available emotion-describing words. I discussed how emotions naturally last only six seconds unless we suppress them, and shared practical strategies like practicing the pause, self-regulation, and becoming more intentional in our responses rather than reactions. My goal is to

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12:44

181: Easter Candy Wrappers and Family Doormats: Time...

Say The Things ·

2025/06/26

I'm breaking down the ridiculous stereotypes we've been handed about women in conflict – from the "hysterical female" to the "peacekeeper at all costs" – and why these scripts are keeping us small. The research is clear: healthy relationships actually have conflict 20% of the time, and 80% of disagreements aren't meant to be "solved" but understood, which means we need to stop treating conflict like something shameful to hide. I'm sharing specific roles we can step into during conflict that leverage

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05:17

180: Stop Apologizing for What You Know

Say The Things ·

2025/06/19

In this episode, I'm tackling the impossible position women face in professional settings—we're either seen as competent and cold or likable but unskilled, and honestly, I'm tired of having to choose between these limiting options. I dive into how we undermine our own authority through the words we choose and share practical strategies for speaking with confidence. Your expertise didn't accidentally find its way into your brain; you've earned it through experience, education, and growth, and it's

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06:40

179: Boundaries: Rules of Engagement

Say The Things ·

2025/06/12

In this episode, I'm getting vulnerable about my struggle with boundaries, especially with my kids. I share the belief I’ve been operating under which has led me straight into burnout and resentment territory. I walk through my three-step process for setting clear limits and remind you that when people who've benefited from your lack of boundaries suddenly get challenged by your new ones, that's not yours to fix. https://www.instagram.com/nicole_bachle/

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10:50

178: Begin Where You Are: The Truth About Healthy...

Say The Things ·

2025/06/05

In this episode, I challenge everything you think you know about assertive communication - it's not about being aggressive or demanding, but about being authentically you through honest, direct, respectful, and appropriate communication. I explore how women especially have been conditioned to prioritize being "kind and soft" over speaking truthfully, and why the people who benefit from us staying quiet wrote those limiting rules in the first place. We'll dive into practical ways to practice healthy

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05:10

177: Beyond Social Expectations Series Intro

Say The Things ·

2025/05/29

Welcome to my new summer series where I'm examining the complex reality of communication as a woman and how we can move beyond limiting social expectations. Despite being raised by women who fought for equality and told we could become anything, we weren't prepared for the challenges we actually face - like being perceived as dominating when we speak just 30% of the time or being interrupted twice as often as men. This series will cover essential skills like assertiveness, boundary setting, and

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13:19

176: Co(unter) Parenting with a Cover Narcissist

Say The Things ·

2025/05/22

In this episode, I dive into the exhausting reality of co-parenting with a covert narcissist, sharing real examples from my own experience that will sound painfully familiar to anyone in this situation. I break down four key traits that make co-parenting feel impossible: blame shifting, ruining special occasions, chronic unreliability, and weaponizing children's emotions. Through personal stories—from dangerous unsupervised water activities to last-minute schedule changes—I explore how these

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12:30

175: The Shame Spiral that Stole Joy

Say The Things ·

2025/05/15

In this vulnerable episode, I share my recent Mother's Day shame spiral and how cultural expectations left me feeling "wrong" for not experiencing the picture-perfect joy we're told mothers should feel. I explore the crucial difference between shame ("What's wrong with me?") and guilt ("What did I do?"), offering practical questions to help identify your own shame triggers and the language they speak. https://www.instagram.com/nicole_bachle/ www.brenebrown.com

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10:20

174: How Will They Know: The Words We Aren’t Sharing

Say The Things ·

2025/05/08

An unexpected wake-up call provided by a high schooler provided me curiosity around what we aren't saying. In this episode, I explore what keeps us silent when we should be speaking up - from our misguided telepathy expectations to the emotional labor calculations we make without even realizing it. Join me for a candid look at the phrases beyond "I love you" that might actually transform your relationships, and the five questions to ask yourself when you feel that familiar urge to stay quiet

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15:03

173: Whelm Was Just the Beginning

Say The Things ·

2025/05/01

If you're the one who remembers every birthday, every school form, and every detail of everyone’s life—you might be over-functioning. In this episode, I’m getting real about the hidden emotional and mental load so many women carry, especially in midlife. I share how this pattern forms, why we cling to it, and the high cost it has on our health, relationships, and joy. If you're ready to stop drowning in invisible responsibilities and start reclaiming your energy, this episode is for you.

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