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Say The Things

Are you giving all of your energy to those around you, leaving you feeling empty, disconnected, and resentful, craving connection beyond the four walls of your home? Do you hide behind surface level conversations because you fear being rejected. If you were to share your actual thoughts? Do you crave more joy and laughter in your life and wish to feel normal and your uniqueness, and perhaps even accept and embrace it? Intentionally discover who you are to clearly communicate to deepen

society & culture relationships

All Episodes

13:29

206: Choosing Happiness, Taking Risks & Forgiving...

Say The Things ·

2026/02/12

Welcome to part two of our deathbed regrets series. Last week I covered the first four regrets—this week I'm finishing with the final six, and these might hit even harder because they're about living on autopilot, postponing joy, and holding grudges. Regret #5: Not choosing happiness. Happiness isn't something that happens to you—it's a daily decision. Regret #6: Not taking the risk. People don't regret what they tried and failed at—they regret what they never tried. Regret #7: Not prioritizing

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11:21

205: 4 Regrets You Can Avoid (Part 1)

Say The Things ·

2026/02/05

This week I'm covering the first four of ten deathbed regrets shared with hospice nurses—not to depress you, but to give you a roadmap while you still have time. Includes research from Blue Zones and the Framingham Heart Study on how connection and purpose add years to your life.

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22:34

204: Who Am I Now? Reclaiming Yourself After Decades...

Say The Things ·

2026/01/29

"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" Mary Oliver's famous question might make your throat tighten. That's because most of us have never actually been asked that question - not in a way that expected an honest answer. Instead, we've spent decades answering different questions: "How are the kids?" "What does your husband need?" "Can you help with this?" Until one day, we wake up and realize we don't know who we are anymore. In this episode, we explore what happens

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14:21

203: The F*cking First Time: Learning to Sit with...

Say The Things ·

2026/01/22

Over the past nine weeks, you've done the work. You've set boundaries, clarified your values, and practiced giving yourself grace. But now you have something you might not have had in years: space. And if you're like me, that space can feel more uncomfortable than the chaos ever did. In this episode, I'm talking about what happens when we finally create room in our lives—and then don't know what to do with it. I introduce Brené Brown's concept of the FFT (the F*cking First Time) and why doing

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12:25

202: The Grief No One Talks About in Personal Growth

Say The Things ·

2026/01/15

As we do the work of letting go of beliefs, patterns, and behavior - as we stop performing to earn value and set boundaries - something sneaks in like pre-dawn fog: grief. Grief is unexpected and often ignored, and it can hold us exactly where we are. This week I'm normalizing grief in personal growth and helping you namen what you're actually mourning. We're not just taking about capital G Grief (the profound loss of someone we love). We're talking about lowercase g frief - the ways grief weaves

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21:14

201: Why You Make Yourself Small to Keep the Peace

Say The Things ·

2026/01/08

Here's the reality: when we create boundaries and make changes, we will disappoint people. There's no way around it. But until two weeks ago, I'd never really acknowledged why I worked tirelessly sacrificing myself, my time, my energy, my peace to make sure no one was ever disappointed in me. This week I'm telling you the truth about why we avoid disappointment, what we're actually afraid of, and how to sit with someone's disappointment without abandoning yourself. This one goes deep—I share how 18

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11:24

200: Boundaries Get Tested Before They Get Respected

Say The Things ·

2026/01/01

Understanding you need boundaries? Fine. Setting them? Different story. This week we're getting practical—I'm walking you through exactly how to set boundaries, what to say, how to hold them when people push back, and what happens when you start protecting your time, energy, and peace. Spoiler: it gets worse before it gets better. When you set a boundary, people are going to test it, question it, call you selfish, tell you you've changed. But here's what's actually happening—what you were doing

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10:37

199: When You Stop Being Available, People Get...

Say The Things ·

2025/12/25

The uncomfortable truth is when you change your values, the people who benefited from the old ones resist. This week we're talking about boundaries and the messy, guilt-inducing, relationship-testing reality of them. I've struggled most with boundaries around my time and energy—the assumption that because I'm home, my time is everyone's time. But being home doesn't mean being available. Your time still has value, even if nobody is paying you for it. If you've ever asked yourself "why are boundaries

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11:58

198: Words to Choose When Life Pulls You Back

Say The Things ·

2025/12/18

You can do all the deep work—understand your should storms, clarify your values, honor your seasons—but on a random Wednesday when the old patterns come screaming back, you need something you can reach for quickly. This week I'm sharing the mantras that ground me when I feel stuck or out of control, and how to create your own that actually work. These aren't stolen from Pinterest or forced affirmations—they're short, believable statements that meet you exactly where you struggle and bring you back

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15:25

197: Understanding Your Emotional Seasons

Say The Things ·

2025/12/11

I used to think something was wrong with me when I couldn't keep up with other moms who seemed to be thriving while I was barely making it to bedtime. Looking back, nothing was wrong—I was just in an emotional winter while they were in summer. This week I'm sharing the four emotional seasons we all cycle through and why your capacity to live your values changes depending on which season you're in. If you've been exhausted, depleted, or wondering why you can't do it all anymore, this episode will

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17:27

196: Whose Values Are You Living?

Say The Things ·

2025/12/04

This week, we're choosing what comes next—your actual values, not the ones you inherited. I'm sharing the moment my therapist asked what values I wanted to bring to parenting and I sat there, speechless, realizing I'd been operating from survival instead of intention. We're examining the heavy list of values we downloaded from the 80s and 90s—perfectionism, productivity as worthiness, self-sacrifice—and exploring a new list that includes rest, joy, enough-ness, and boundaries. Because you can't

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14:33

195: The Should Storm: How to Stop Living by...

Say The Things ·

2025/11/27

This week I'm naming something I think we've all felt but rarely talk about: the should storm. You know that voice that tells you you're failing at everything while you're just trying to make dinner? I'm walking you through where these thoughts actually come from, why they feel so loud, and a step-by-step process to quiet them. We're getting curious about the beliefs we inherited without choosing them, and we're learning to rewrite the thoughts that drive our most exhausting actions.

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09:54

194: Doing All the Things Is Killing Your Tree of Life

Say The Things ·

2025/11/20

I'm kicking off a new series about letting go to uncover who we really are, inspired by John Acuff's Greatest Year Ever course. Just like the trees in fall draw their energy inward and release what no longer serves them, we need to learn to bring our energy back inside and use it with wisdom—not to meet everyone else's needs, but to sustain a healthy life. I've been questioning how our generation fell into the trap of doing all the things for all the people, treating ourselves like machines instead

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09:45

193: How to Come Back After You've Burned It Down

Say The Things ·

2025/11/13

Repair is the most skipped step in conflict work, and I've had to do a lot of it with my daughter after years of being too quick, too certain, and too afraid to be vulnerable. Today, I'm breaking down the four components of genuine repair—and why "I'm sorry, but..." will never rebuild what you've broken. This isn't a one-and-done process, and your timeline isn't their timeline—but every time you choose repair over justification, you're teaching the people you love that you're safe.

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11:41

192: What to Ask Before, During, and After the Fight

Say The Things ·

2025/11/06

Last Tuesday, my daughter came home frustrated and every instinct told me to fix it, control it, be right about it—but I paused and asked her what she thought her options were instead. This week, I'm sharing the specific questions that rewire how conflict happens: what to ask yourself before walking into hard conversations, how to stay present during them, and the reflection work that creates lasting change. Plus, I'm tackling the truth that 80% of conflict has no resolution—and why that's actually

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14:24

191: Willpower Won't Regulate Your Nervous System

Say The Things ·

2025/10/30

Turns out, you can't think your way out of a fight-or-flight response—and that's why willpower alone never fixes how we show up in conflict. I'm walking you through what happens in your body during an argument, why my shift from fight to freeze confused my daughter's nervous system, and the practical tools that actually work to regulate yourself before, during, and after conflict. This is where we learn that our bodies aren't broken—they're just protecting us with outdated information.

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08:47

190: The Weapons We Carry in Conflict

Say The Things ·

2025/10/23

I used to be lightning-fast with my words—shutting down arguments before anyone could respond, winning every fight while losing connection. This week, we're getting honest about what we bring to conflict that makes it worse: unprocessed anger, the need to be right, defensiveness, or the ways we disguise control as care. If you're ready to stop having the same fight on different days, this episode is your starting point—because you cannot change what you do not see. Ryan Dunlap: Conflict/ish "Your

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11:43

189: What If the Noise Holds the News?

Say The Things ·

2025/10/16

Most of us are grinding through life, dismissing the whispers of our body and our relationships because we don't have time to pause. But what if the noise we're taught to manage is actually news—information our lives are desperately trying to send us? I'm breaking down five concrete practices (that won't add to your plate) to help you shift from managing to listening, including nervous system regulation, creating safe space for vulnerability, and moving through stored stress in your body.

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11:48

188: Introducing Your Circle of Control

Say The Things ·

2025/10/09

A few weeks ago, I did an exercise that completely changed how I see control—and honestly, it pissed me off before it set me free. I drew a circle and listed what I actually control inside it and what I don't outside it, and the truth was brutal: I've been spending most of my energy trying to manage things that were never mine to hold. Today I'm walking you through this exercise and the new soundtracks that are helping me release my grip on other people, outcomes, the past, and the future—so I can

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08:26

187: Stop Competing, Start Connecting: Lessons from...

Say The Things ·

2025/10/02

Research shows that trees don't compete for sunlight – they share resources through an underground network, warning each other of dangers and supporting the whole forest's health. I'm exploring how we can shift from competition to collaboration in our relationships, especially when social media makes comparison so tempting. Your community network is probably more abundant than you realize, and it's time to tend to it with the same energy you give everything else in your life.

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