PODCAST

The Simplicity Parenting Podcast with Kim John Payne

Kim John Payne/Center for Social Sustainability

Weekly insights on children and parenting from Simplicity Parenting author Kim John Payne.

education self-improvement

All Episodes

14:10

#307: Interview with Laura Carlin: Part One -...

The Simplicity Parenting Podcast with Kim John Payne ·

2026/04/01

In this episode, Kim John Payne welcomes longtime colleague and Simplicity Parenting coach Laura Carlin for the first of a four-part conversation on decluttering. Laura introduces what she calls "the decluttering secret": that how we go about decluttering (our energy, intentions, and self-talk) can be as important as what we choose to keep or let go of. She emphasizes that outer decluttering must be accompanied by inner work, shifting from fear and judgment toward curiosity and

12:34

#303: Going on a News Cleanse

The Simplicity Parenting Podcast with Kim John Payne ·

2026/03/04

In this episode, Kim John Payne addresses how constant news exposure erodes our ability to be present with our children. He explains that modern news cycles, with autoplay, doom scrolling, and half-hourly updates, repeatedly trigger the amygdala even when we're hearing the same story again. Each repetition builds a micro emotional trauma and baseline anxiety that children absorb through a kind of emotional osmosis, sensing that part of our attention is elsewhere.Kim shares strategies that

9:17

#299: If Rhythms Need To Change

The Simplicity Parenting Podcast with Kim John Payne ·

2026/02/11

In this episode, Kim John Payne explores how families can navigate changes in rhythms while still preserving the security that predictability provides. He explains that when a regular caregiver is unavailable for bath time or bedtime, previewing the change earlier in the day helps a child take it in and prepare. By letting a child know at breakfast or lunch what will be different that evening, parents give them time to adjust rather than springing a surprise at the last moment.Kim

9:45

#295: Kindling a Child's Competency

The Simplicity Parenting Podcast with Kim John Payne ·

2026/01/15

In this episode, Kim John Payne explores how small, repeated household rituals build both motor skills and a sense of competency in children. He explains that micro rhythms (the little "hows" of daily life like setting the table, clearing dishes, or preparing for bath time) create more than just predictability and safety. When children perform these tasks in the same way over and over, they develop fine and gross motor skills while establishing neural pathways that support learning and

11:37

#287: Saying, Feeling & Doing Sorry

The Simplicity Parenting Podcast with Kim John Payne ·

2025/12/18

In this monthly episode of Simplicity Parenting, Kim John Payne explores the difference between asking children to say sorry and helping them genuinely make things right. While acknowledging that saying sorry has value, Kim cautions against forcing apologies, which often leads to defensiveness, shame, or empty words. Instead, he invites parents to look beneath the apology and focus on what truly matters: a child recognizing that something crossed a family value and taking responsibility in

14:01

#287: Slow, Low and No Means No

The Simplicity Parenting Podcast with Kim John Payne ·

2025/11/19

In this episode, Kim John Payne explores how parents can set clear, loving boundaries in ways that truly reach their children. He explains that when we slow our speech and lower our tone, children are better able to process what we say and feel our calm authority. Speaking slowly helps a message land without repetition, and a lower, grounded voice communicates steadiness and care rather than frustration. Kim encourages parents to “inhabit” the no, to let it come from a calm, centered place

17:26

#286: Emotionally Resilient Kids: Part Five - Anika...

The Simplicity Parenting Podcast with Kim John Payne ·

2025/11/05

In this final part of the five-part Emotionally Resilient Tweens and Teens series, Kim John Payne concludes “Annika’s Story,” the true account of a middle school girl learning to reclaim her sense of self after a painful fall from popularity. Following the cheating incident and the loss of her so-called friends, Annika faces deep loneliness and the sting of exclusion. Yet in the quiet of that isolation, she begins to rediscover who she really is. With the gentle support of her former friend

14:15

#285: Emotionally Resilient Kids: Part Four - The...

The Simplicity Parenting Podcast with Kim John Payne ·

2025/10/29

In this fourth part of the five-part Emotionally Resilient Tweens and Teens series, Kim John Payne continues reading from “Annika’s Story,” following the seventh grader as she becomes more deeply entangled in her desire to fit in with the popular group. When Annika’s mother unexpectedly sees her dressed in a way that reflects the influence of her new friends, Annika experiences a moment of painful self-awareness. Her mother’s silent disapproval becomes a mirror that reveals how much she has

16:12

#284: Emotionally Resilient Kid: Part Three - Anika...

The Simplicity Parenting Podcast with Kim John Payne ·

2025/10/22

In this third part of the five-part series on Emotionally Resilient Tweens and Teens, Kim John Payne reads aloud “Annika’s Story” from the book he co-authored with Luis Fernando Llosa. The story follows Annika, a seventh grader who moves to a new school and struggles with the temptation to change herself to fit in with a popular group. At first she is thrilled to be included, but little by little she begins to lose touch with who she really is, her confidence, her interests, and her natural

22:35

#283: Emotionally Resilient Kid: Part Two - Helping...

The Simplicity Parenting Podcast with Kim John Payne ·

2025/10/15

In this second part of the five-part series on Emotionally Resilient Tweens and Teens, Kim John Payne continues exploring how parents can guide children through difficult social experiences. Drawing from Chapter Four of the book, he focuses on helping children understand their emotional reactivity when they are teased or excluded. Through the story of a boy named Tony, Kim illustrates how teasing often continues not because of a child’s shortcomings, but because strong reactions feed the

18:46

#282: The Emotionally Resilient Kid: Part One - Being...

The Simplicity Parenting Podcast with Kim John Payne ·

2025/10/13

This episode is the first in a five-part series drawn from Kim John Payne’s book Emotionally Resilient Tweens and Teens, co-authored with Luis Fernando Llosa. As part of the lead-up to his upcoming Emotionally Resilient Tweens & Teens Care Professionals Seminar, Kim begins by exploring how parents can respond when their child is socially struggling, feeling excluded, teased, or left out. He reminds us that every child experiences this at some point and that how we respond can make a

22:19

#281: Interview with Richard Freed - Part Three

The Simplicity Parenting Podcast with Kim John Payne ·

2025/09/24

In the final part of their conversation, Kim and Dr. Freed shift from exposing the harms of persuasive technology to offering practical solutions. Kim introduces the idea of “four connections” as a foundation for a healthy childhood: connection to nature, to friends through real play, to family, and to one’s inner self. Dr. Freed emphasizes the importance of building community among parents and resisting screen culture together. They highlight resources like Kids, Brains, and Screens by

22:56

#280: Interview with Richard Freed - Part Two

The Simplicity Parenting Podcast with Kim John Payne ·

2025/09/17

In the second installment of their conversation, Kim and Dr. Freed take a deeper look at how powerful interests influence public understanding of screens, particularly through organizations that claim to promote children's health. Dr. Freed describes what he calls the “Silicon Valley exception,” where major health bodies are either aligned with or funded by the tech industry, much like tobacco-funded health research decades ago. They examine the contradiction between what parents

27:21

#279: Interview with Richard Freed - Part One

The Simplicity Parenting Podcast with Kim John Payne ·

2025/09/11

In this first part of a three-part fire side style chat, Kim John Payne speaks with leading psychologist Dr. Richard Freed about the growing influence of persuasive design in modern digital technology. Dr. Freed shares how screen-based platforms, especially social media and video games, are intentionally engineered to hijack attention and foster dependency, using principles drawn directly from behavioral psychology. He warns that these technologies are designed not just to entertain, but to

8:50

#278: Sensing the Neeed - Getting Out Ahead Of It

The Simplicity Parenting Podcast with Kim John Payne ·

2025/09/03

In this episode, Kim highlights the importance of previewing and “getting out ahead” of difficult moments before they escalate. Whether it’s a grumpy morning with a young child or a teenager returning home with restraint collapse, acknowledging the emotional state early can shift the tone of the day. Rather than ignoring frustration or trying to immediately fix it, Kim encourages parents to calmly name what they see and reassure their child that they are present and supportive. This

10:58

#277: Choosing Our Battles?

The Simplicity Parenting Podcast with Kim John Payne ·

2025/08/27

Kim addresses the common parenting dilemma of whether to correct a child’s behavior or let it go. He gently challenges the popular idea of “choosing your battles,” suggesting that framing these moments as battles may not serve the relationship. Instead, he invites parents to see each behavior—no matter how small—as a moment to define family values and build connection. The key, he says, is not whether to correct, but when and how. Small corrections delivered calmly in the moment can prevent

13:08

#276: When Kids Are Angry They Are Vulnerable -...

The Simplicity Parenting Podcast with Kim John Payne ·

2025/08/22

In the final part of this five-part series on emotional self-regulation, Kim John Payne explores the idea that when children are angry, they are also deeply vulnerable. He reminds us that difficult behaviors often surface when children are overwhelmed, and in those moments, they are not only reactive but also scanning closely for how we respond. Kim uses the image of a “direct conduit” opening up between parent and child—a brief window of pure connection, even if it is born from challenge

10:55

#275: Why Screen Time for Kids Makes It Hard For Us -...

The Simplicity Parenting Podcast with Kim John Payne ·

2025/08/13

In this fourth part of this five-part series on emotional self-regulation, Kim John Payne explores how screens can disrupt not only a child’s emotional balance but also a parent’s ability to stay centered. He explains how modern screen content is designed to deliver high levels of dopamine, adrenaline, and cortisol, making it both addictive and deeply rewarding. When a screen is taken away, a child may feel as if their source of safety has been removed, leading to intense reactions. In

16:40

#274: When It All Gets Too Much - Emotional Self...

The Simplicity Parenting Podcast with Kim John Payne ·

2025/08/07

In the third episode of this five-part series on Emotional Self-Regulation, Kim John Payne offers a practical, compassionate invitation to slow down. He introduces the metaphor of a tap overflowing, a symbol for the mounting pressures and over-commitments many families face. Instead of constantly mopping up emotional “spillage,” Kim encourages parents to reflect on what’s truly essential and gently let go of what isn’t. By thoughtfully simplifying the weekly schedule, families can reduce

10:37

#273: What Pushes Our Buttons - Emotional Self...

The Simplicity Parenting Podcast with Kim John Payne ·

2025/07/30

In the second of this three-part series on Emotional Self-Regulation, Kim John Payne explores one of the deepest challenges for parents: the feeling of being unseen, undervalued, or taken for granted. These emotional triggers can quietly build up, leading to reactive moments that feel disproportionate but are actually the result of accumulated strain. Kim gently encourages parents to take stock of what pushes their buttons - not to judge themselves, but to notice and name the patterns. When

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The Simplicity Parenting Podcast with Kim John Payne

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