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PODCAST

Relationships Made Easy

Dr. Abby Medcalf

The research says the key to a happy life is happy relationships. But how exactly do you make your relationships better? That’s what this show is all about.I’m Dr. Abby Medcalf, psychologist, best-selling author, TEDx speaker, and (according to my kids) the bossy Jewish mom you didn’t know you needed. With decades of experience and millions of listeners in over 180 countries, I give you the no-fluff, research-backed strategies to make all your relationships better: with your partner, your family,

society & culture relationships

All Episodes

33:03

356. When Kindness Has Claws: Dealing With Relational...

Relationships Made Easy ·

2025/10/27

Ever had someone freeze you out of a group text? Spread just enough gossip to make you doubt yourself? Smile to your face while subtly undermining you behind your back? That’s not just “drama,” it’s a form of bullying called relational aggression, and it can wreck friendships, families, and entire communities if it’s left unchecked. It’s not just drama. It’s emotional sabotage. Today, I’m breaking down what relational aggression really is, why it’s so destructive, and the research-backed strategies

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23:41

355. What to Do When Someone Gives You the Silent...

Relationships Made Easy ·

2025/10/20

You’re in a conflict, and suddenly, silence. No texts. No words. Just... nothing. It’s like you’re talking to a ghost. Whether it's your partner, parent, best friend, or coworker, the silent treatment isn’t just frustrating. It can be manipulative, even emotionally abusive. Today, I’m breaking down why people do it, how it messes with your brain, and what you can do instead of spiraling. Because begging for scraps of communication isn’t connection. And you deserve better than

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39:34

354. How to Get Motivated and Stay Motivated:...

Relationships Made Easy ·

2025/10/13

Ever notice how you can get excited about something in the beginning, but then totally lose steam? You start a new meditation practice, promise yourself you’ll speak more kindly to your partner, or commit to exercising. At first, you feel that spark. But then life gets busy, the excitement fades, and suddenly your motivation’s gone.Here’s the problem: what you do to get motivated isn’t what you do to stay motivated. It’s like lighting a campfire. You use kindling to get it going, but you need bigger

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29:41

353. When to Speak Up: What to Do If You Think Your...

Relationships Made Easy ·

2025/10/06

You’re sitting across from your friend, watching them light up when their partner texts, and your stomach turns. Something feels off. You’ve seen the controlling behavior, the subtle put-downs, the “jokes” that aren’t really funny. You love your friend, and you’re worried. But what do you do with that? Do you say something and risk the friendship? Or do you stay quiet and hope they figure it out on their own?____________________________Full blog and show notes:

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31:37

352. Is Your Anxiety Trying to Protect You?

Relationships Made Easy ·

2025/09/29

You’ve probably been taught that anxiety is a bad thing. Something to eliminate, avoid, or medicate (legally or otherwise) into oblivion. But what if I told you that anxiety, in its healthiest form, is actually trying to help you? What if anxiety wasn’t the villain in your story, but a misunderstood protector showing up in a slightly over-the-top way? This week, you're going to learn how to spot the difference between anxiety that’s working for you and anxiety that’s working you over. You’ll also

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38:40

351. Tired of Being the Scapegoat? How to Handle...

Relationships Made Easy ·

2025/09/22

You didn’t forget the milk, cause the delay, or ruin the weekend plans. But here you are, somehow the one being blamed. Again. Whether it’s a partner, friend, or parent, being on the receiving end of blame is frustrating, confusing, and downright crazy-making. It’s like they’ve outsourced their emotional homework to you and you’re the one getting detention. Today we’ll unpack why some people love to point the finger, how it warps your relationships, and what you can do about it without turning into

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40:30

350. Can You Be in Love but Live Apart? The Truth...

Relationships Made Easy ·

2025/09/15

What if the healthiest thing for your relationship… was your own front door? Living Apart Together (LAT) is a growing trend where committed couples choose to maintain separate households while staying emotionally and romantically connected. It flies in the face of the cultural script that says love means living under one roof, sharing a fridge, and arguing about thermostat settings. But LAT isn’t about avoiding intimacy or commitment. It’s about redefining what commitment looks like. In this

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45:19

349. Can AI Replace Your Therapist? Here’s What You...

Relationships Made Easy ·

2025/09/08

Let’s be real. AI is everywhere, and it’s not just writing grocery lists or your kid’s English essay anymore, it’s sliding into the therapist’s chair. Whether you’ve toyed with ChatGPT as your late-night sounding board or downloaded an AI mental health app, it’s tempting to think: “Maybe I don’t need to pay someone $200 an hour when I’ve got free therapy in my pocket.” But is that really therapy or is it just tech playing dress-up? Today we’re diving into whether AI can actually replace a human

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49:45

348. Love Goggles: Why You Ignore Red Flags When...

Relationships Made Easy ·

2025/09/01

Ever wonder why love makes you overlook the obvious red flags? 🛑 Your brain is literally on a chemical high. In this episode, Dr. Abby Medcalf reveals the neuroscience of why love is blind, how dopamine and oxytocin hijack your judgment, and what you can do to see the truth before it’s too late. This isn’t about blaming yourself for missing the signs. It’s about owning your power and learning how to love with your eyes wide open.___________________________Full blog and show notes:

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42:10

347. When Your Partner Takes Other People’s Side (And...

Relationships Made Easy ·

2025/08/25

Learn why your partner defends others instead of validating you, why it hurts so much, how this breaks the goodwill pillar of trust, and exactly how to change this dynamic with actionable scripts and research-backed tools.____________________________Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/partner-takes-other-peoples-sideGrab 5 Scripts to Get the Emotional Support You Need (Without a Fight): https://abbymedcalf.com/emotional-support-scriptsJoin my online community, One Love Collective, on

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43:13

346. Why You Stay: The Brain Science of Trauma...

Relationships Made Easy ·

2025/08/18

You know the relationship isn’t healthy. Your friends see it. You feel it. So why can’t you let go?Maybe you’ve said something like:"They’re not perfect, but we have a deep connection.""When it’s good, it’s really good.""I know I should leave, but I just can’t."Today we’re diving deep into the neuroscience of trauma bonding: why your brain gets hooked on the highs and lows, what it’s trying to protect you from, and how to break free from cycles that feel like love but

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33:37

345. Forgiveness Is a One-Person Job: Why You Don’t...

Relationships Made Easy ·

2025/08/11

We’re taught that forgiveness is a mutual thing. That it’s about making amends, talking it through, hugging it out. But the truth, the freeing and maybe painful truth, is that forgiveness isn’t a two-person process. It never has been. Today you’ll learn all about reclaiming forgiveness as something you do for you. You’ll learn the big mistake you’re making when you’re trying to forgive (it’s why it’s been so hard to do before) and my five steps to practice forgiveness as a one-person

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13:31

Season 8 Sneak Peek: New Format, Big News, and How to...

Relationships Made Easy ·

2025/07/28

In this teaser for Season 8, Abby shares a quick update on what’s changing and what’s staying the same on theRelationships Made Easypodcast. You’ll hear about the exciting launch of her second podcast (Workplace Therapy) and how you can help shape Season 8 by sending in your questions and topic suggestions.Want to dive deeper? Join Abby’s private online community, The One Love Collective, now on Substack at https://abbymedcalf.com/substack____________________________Full blog and show notes:

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39:08

344. Why Is Dating So Damn Hard Right Now? (And How...

Relationships Made Easy ·

2025/07/21

If you’ve been wondering whether dating is harder than it used to be, I’m here to tell you: yes. You’re not imagining things. It’s not just that you’re older, pickier, or doomed to attract commitment-phobes. The truth is, dating today has a unique set of challenges, most of which are designed to keep you swiping, second-guessing, and emotionally confused. But don’t panic. Today we’re going to break down why dating feels so hard right now (it’s not just you), what emotional availability really means,

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32:10

343. Micro-Gaslighting: The Tiny Cuts That Undermine You

Relationships Made Easy ·

2025/07/14

You know those moments that make you pause and think, “Wait, am I being ridiculous right now?” You feel off, but you can’t quite explain why. The conversation wasn’t overtly mean. You weren’t screamed at. But still… something felt wrong. Well, you might be experiencing micro-gaslighting. We already know that gaslighting is a form of emotional manipulation meant to distort your sense of reality. But micro-gaslighting is sneakier. It hides behind sarcasm, “jokes,” and well-meaning comments that, over

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39:50

342. You Don’t Have to Earn It: Breaking Free from...

Relationships Made Easy ·

2025/07/07

If you’ve ever wondered, “Am I doing enough?” at work, in your relationships, as a parent, or just as a person, you’re not alone. So many of my clients feel like they have to prove their value through performance, productivity, or being “good enough” for someone to love or respect them. Today we’ll explore the difference between self-worth and self-esteem, the signs that your sense of worth has become transactional, and five practical ways to break this pattern and start living from a place of

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49:49

341. When Your Partner Is Being Evasive, Withholding...

Relationships Made Easy ·

2025/06/30

Nothing makes your stomach drop quite like that moment when you realize your partner isn’t telling you the truth. Whether it's an outright lie, a carefully omitted detail, or that uneasy feeling that they're sidestepping around something important, suspecting deception in your relationship is gut-wrenching. And when gaslighting enters the picture? That's when you start questioning not just them, but your own reality. But here's the good news: you're not powerless, you're not crazy, and there are

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53:47

340. Judgment Detox: 8 Steps to Be Less Critical and...

Relationships Made Easy ·

2025/06/23

While judgment can be a natural human response, being judgmental can erode your relationships and seriously hinder your personal growth. Yes, judgment feels good at first. It gives you a hit of certainty, a sense of superiority, and the illusion of control. But over time, it poisons your perspective and isolates you from the very connection you crave. Today we’ll talk about why you judge, the problems it causes, and my 8 steps to help you become less judgmental.____________________________Full blog

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46:40

339. Why You Keep Proving Yourself Right (Even When...

Relationships Made Easy ·

2025/06/16

You break up with someone and suddenly, every memory is framed as proof that they never really cared. You get into an argument with your mom, and you leave convinced, once again, that she just doesn’t get you. You walk into a work meeting with the story that your boss doesn’t respect you, and now every glance or tone of voice becomes more “evidence.” Sound familiar? That’s confirmation bias, and it’s working hand-in-hand with a set of mental strategies called defense mechanisms. Together, they keep

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44:58

338. How to Stop Taking It Personally: 5 Steps to...

Relationships Made Easy ·

2025/06/09

It’s not hard to stay calm and open when someone is complimenting your outfit or thanking you for dinner. But when they’re disappointed in you? Hurt by something you said? Frustrated by a mistake you made? That’s when your brain shifts into protect mode. And suddenly, instead of listening, you’re defending, explaining, or withdrawing. Defensiveness is one of the biggest barriers to connection, whether it’s with your partner, your boss, your best friend, or your teenager. But if you can learn to

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